(no subject)
i always thought i'd lived in "the city". but suburbs aren't exactly like the city. even where we live now isn't exactly CITY. our part of san francisco is very yuppie, almost like a suburban corner of the city.
today was my second day of training, and since the store i'll be working at isn't complete, i had to train at the next closest store. getting there by five am is quite the adventure, because before five or six, the busses don't come as often as they do in the daytime. so i have to be out of the door by 4:15 in the morning. they only come out at night. the ride down to geary was uneventful, other than the bus driver nearly going right by me and making me scream and wave as he was coming up. sitting at the bus stop, i noticed a guy with a terrible bowlcut with the sides shaved staring at me. i didn't think anything of it since i'd been up for approximately 25 minutes. when i got on the bus, a homeless man with cuts on his face was going around closing all of the windows, and some dude yelled "what the fuck are you doing, old man?!" at him. the old man started blathering about how he'd fought four cops and he'd punch him right in the mouth and whip his ass and all sorts of crazy talk. i was feeling rather uncomfortable, even though my sleep-gauzed mind. the younger guy just kept goading the old man on, and i could just imagine the electrical tape shiv he probably had in his slipper. finally, the old man sat down and just started screaming "lemme alone, satan! lemme alone satan! why satan always try to start this shit?!" and then ANOTHER crazy man started yelling at the younger guy, asking him "why you be all up in other peoples bidness, im schitzophernic you fuck! i can kill a man!"
in the crazyness, i hadn't even noticed the bowlcut guy had left the bus. but i noticed that he had somehow raced it and gotten back on. he sat next to me and i turned up my headphones. i was trying to ignore all the nuts, and the bowlcut nut pokes me in the arm. i look at him and he holds up his cell phone, on which he has typed "i think you are hot". now, i don't have any problem with gay men, i got hit on quite often when i worked in hillcrest. i always sort of took it as a compliment. i just nodded sleepily and said thanks, hoping that would be all. a minute later, he tapped me again and showed me the cell phone screen. "wanna fuck?" again, tired polite smile, even though secretly i wanted to just get off the bus. i am much too passive and nice sometimes. being around a lot of gay men reminds me of why girls are so wary of guys... no matter if they are going after males or females, certain guys are just fucking creepy creeps, creeping around creepily.
he started asking me where i was coming from, and where i was going, and it was easy to make stuff up. politely, of course. but when i got off the bus, he got off too. he asked me if i was straight, to which i sheepishly replied yes, sorry. he asked me if i hated gay people, and i genially replied "of course not, i wouldn't live in san francisco if i did!" wrong answer.
"do you want to fuck?"
"uhh no thanks."
"do you have a big one?"
"nope!"
"aww, really? can i see it?"
eventually i got to the parking lot of trader joes, and even though he watched me go in, guess what? i don't ever have to work at that one again, so in your face, bowlcut. i am so sly. work was fine. i sort of like the people who work there. i can't wait to work at the new store, which isn't so in the city. what can i say, i am a suburban baby.
edit: i forgot something. after work, i was back near geary and van ness, and i was waiting for the bus with my headphones on. an old black woman walked up to me and started talking about how she had run away from some womens abuse center, and showed me all these scars and bruises and burns, and so i started taking a dollar out of my pocket. she told me she wasn't panhandling, and that she didn't want my money. but she needed forty-eight dollars for bus fare to arizona to get out of california, so her husband couldn't beat her anymore. she had some side story about her son in arizona also being abused, but at that point i was pretty depressed about her whole story, because even if it was a con, it was a sad sad story. i had the dollar i was willing to give her in my hand, and she wouldn't take it. she just started crying and saying she needed a lighter skinned person standing next to her, otherwise it'd be impossible to get the forty-eight dollars. i told her i was very sorry, but i had to take my bus and that i had one dollar she could have towards her fare. i felt terrible, but at the same time i didn't want to stand on the corner of van ness and geary with this poor woman. when my bus came, i put the dollar in her hand, patted her on the shoulder, told her i was sorry, and off i went. she cried louder and harder when i got on the bus, and i don't know what i could have done differently, but i still feel shaken.
today was my second day of training, and since the store i'll be working at isn't complete, i had to train at the next closest store. getting there by five am is quite the adventure, because before five or six, the busses don't come as often as they do in the daytime. so i have to be out of the door by 4:15 in the morning. they only come out at night. the ride down to geary was uneventful, other than the bus driver nearly going right by me and making me scream and wave as he was coming up. sitting at the bus stop, i noticed a guy with a terrible bowlcut with the sides shaved staring at me. i didn't think anything of it since i'd been up for approximately 25 minutes. when i got on the bus, a homeless man with cuts on his face was going around closing all of the windows, and some dude yelled "what the fuck are you doing, old man?!" at him. the old man started blathering about how he'd fought four cops and he'd punch him right in the mouth and whip his ass and all sorts of crazy talk. i was feeling rather uncomfortable, even though my sleep-gauzed mind. the younger guy just kept goading the old man on, and i could just imagine the electrical tape shiv he probably had in his slipper. finally, the old man sat down and just started screaming "lemme alone, satan! lemme alone satan! why satan always try to start this shit?!" and then ANOTHER crazy man started yelling at the younger guy, asking him "why you be all up in other peoples bidness, im schitzophernic you fuck! i can kill a man!"
in the crazyness, i hadn't even noticed the bowlcut guy had left the bus. but i noticed that he had somehow raced it and gotten back on. he sat next to me and i turned up my headphones. i was trying to ignore all the nuts, and the bowlcut nut pokes me in the arm. i look at him and he holds up his cell phone, on which he has typed "i think you are hot". now, i don't have any problem with gay men, i got hit on quite often when i worked in hillcrest. i always sort of took it as a compliment. i just nodded sleepily and said thanks, hoping that would be all. a minute later, he tapped me again and showed me the cell phone screen. "wanna fuck?" again, tired polite smile, even though secretly i wanted to just get off the bus. i am much too passive and nice sometimes. being around a lot of gay men reminds me of why girls are so wary of guys... no matter if they are going after males or females, certain guys are just fucking creepy creeps, creeping around creepily.
he started asking me where i was coming from, and where i was going, and it was easy to make stuff up. politely, of course. but when i got off the bus, he got off too. he asked me if i was straight, to which i sheepishly replied yes, sorry. he asked me if i hated gay people, and i genially replied "of course not, i wouldn't live in san francisco if i did!" wrong answer.
"do you want to fuck?"
"uhh no thanks."
"do you have a big one?"
"nope!"
"aww, really? can i see it?"
eventually i got to the parking lot of trader joes, and even though he watched me go in, guess what? i don't ever have to work at that one again, so in your face, bowlcut. i am so sly. work was fine. i sort of like the people who work there. i can't wait to work at the new store, which isn't so in the city. what can i say, i am a suburban baby.
edit: i forgot something. after work, i was back near geary and van ness, and i was waiting for the bus with my headphones on. an old black woman walked up to me and started talking about how she had run away from some womens abuse center, and showed me all these scars and bruises and burns, and so i started taking a dollar out of my pocket. she told me she wasn't panhandling, and that she didn't want my money. but she needed forty-eight dollars for bus fare to arizona to get out of california, so her husband couldn't beat her anymore. she had some side story about her son in arizona also being abused, but at that point i was pretty depressed about her whole story, because even if it was a con, it was a sad sad story. i had the dollar i was willing to give her in my hand, and she wouldn't take it. she just started crying and saying she needed a lighter skinned person standing next to her, otherwise it'd be impossible to get the forty-eight dollars. i told her i was very sorry, but i had to take my bus and that i had one dollar she could have towards her fare. i felt terrible, but at the same time i didn't want to stand on the corner of van ness and geary with this poor woman. when my bus came, i put the dollar in her hand, patted her on the shoulder, told her i was sorry, and off i went. she cried louder and harder when i got on the bus, and i don't know what i could have done differently, but i still feel shaken.