(no subject)
Can't sleep. It's the same as before, nightmares and such. Isn't that why I started drinking in the first place? I forget.
I think I've given up for good this time. Maybe. It's... I wish I could stop thinking about Hogsmeade. I mean, it was ages ago, but I... it's still there. Does that make me weak? But I've done too much stupid stuff not to stop. Shagging my girlfriend's sister, kissing Zacharias - I think falling down the stairs when the lights went out was the last straw.
But that thing with Zacharias - where I - that was his fault. He came onto me. It's not like I'm gay or anything, I tried to pull away. In fact, I did. I did pull away. It's not worth dwelling on. It's... Zacharias made a mistake - he's gay, it's in his nature to be easy - but it's not my fault.
God. If only that bottle Padma gave me didn't get smashed.