a fragment more
Claire and Miles stayed in the hammock, talking idly, until Richard came out to ask why only he and Aaron were doing any damn work around there.
'I don't know, you must have some kind of work ethic or something,' Miles said. 'At least you can transmit it to Aaron.'
'Well, he's gone to the supermarket with Kate, so at the moment I suppose he's having sensible food shopping transmitted to him. Move over.' There was more room at Claire's end of the hammock, so he edged himself in there. The rope creaked but held.
'Yay, I'm in a manwich,' said Claire.
'Ew,' said Miles.
'Oh come on. It's warm and cuddly and nice. I'm not being pervy.'
'I'm sorry, Claire, Miles' mind will immediately jump to the most salacious possible interpretation of the most innocent possible comment.'
'I know! I said just now that I thought you were a spunk and he was disgusting about that!'
'I... I don't actually know how he could not be disgusting about that... or why you would say that about me...'
'Oh for God's sake. You are in Australia. If you say someone is a spunk, you mean they're attractive.'
'But you are surely aware of what it means in other countries,' Miles protested.
'Yeah, but why should I stop saying it just because you misuse it?'
'I don't know, because it sounds like you're calling Richard a giant glob of-'
'Stop!' Richard said. 'If I'd known the conversation out here was on this level I would have intervened long ago.'
'Tell him about his blazer,' Claire said, poking Miles in the arm.
'What blazer?'
'We've been fictionalising our own past lives and created this little delusory world where we were all at high school together. And you look very cute in a blazer.'
'I think it's red and black striped, with a thin stripe of yellow in between,' Claire added.
'I thought my job in your terrible high school fantasies was to be the stern librarian.'
'You get to play two roles because you're so special.'
'Your other one is Catholic school prefect who gets molested by Miles on the tram,' Claire said.
'Oh, you've upgraded him to prefect?'
'Yes, I think he's definitely a prefect.'
'How old are we all in this?' Richard asked. 'I'm confused and concerned.'
'Sixteen, seventeen?'
'Yeah, about there.'
'Oh, that's not so bad, then. But I wasn't that appealing when I was seventeen. I was very skinny. I'd reached my adult height but my width hadn't caught up. My brother said I hadn't grown, I'd been stretched.'
'Well, that just makes you sound cuter,' Claire said. 'Doesn't it, Miles. He'd be all lanky.'
'We're getting far too deep into this,' Miles said, 'but I don't care, I like it.'
'May I change the subject?' Richard asked. 'How do you want to see in the New Year?'
'I dunno,' said Claire. 'I promised Aaron we'd wake him up for midnight, but other than that, no real plans.'
'Well, I think New Year's parties are wildly overrated. New Year's, in general, is wildly overrated. But this year I have someone to kiss when the ball drops, so I guess I'm less cynical about it than usual.'
'What do you want to do, Miles?' Richard asked patiently.
'I dunno. Let's eat a lot and watch DVDs. We could watch Australian movies. Are there any good ones?'
'Shuddup.' Claire smacked him.
'I mean apart from Crocodile Dundee, obviously.'
'Aargh. Okay then, we'll watch The Castle and The Nugget. That's a good double feature. Then, maybe, Strictly Ballroom... ummm... Muriel's Wedding. I think that's all the ones we've got. At home, Miles, not in the history of Australian film.'
'Sounds like a good lineup.'
'Sounds like a plan, then.' Claire said, satisfied. They were quiet for a while.
'What is it,' Richard wondered aloud, 'about lying in a hammock in the sunshine that robs you of the will to move?'
'I don't know. What happened to your work ethic?' Miles asked.
'It's faded away. I just want to lie here and bask.' He closed his eyes and folded his hands on his chest.
'Look how pretty he is,' Claire whispered.
'I know. What a spunk,' Miles whispered back.
'That's what we say about him on the tram. It's a very teenage sort of word. Look at that spunk in the blazer.'
'Claire, you are setting him off,' Richard said reproachfully as Miles dissolved into wheezing laughter, curling up like a pillbug.
'I can't help it if he's got a dirty mind!' she protested insincerely.
'Well, just stop it. Go away before he wets his pants. Go on, get out of here. You're a bad influence.' He shooed her out of the hammock, which caused the middle to sag and Miles to roll onto him, still cackling.
'Byeeeeee,' Claire called, running away towards the house and leaving him to deal with a helplessly giggling person.
And so 2008 was rung in, with applause, kisses and an assault on the paso doble.
After New Year, the summer seemed to swell, the sun growing hotter and the days growing brighter still. Kate started her new job, which seemed to agree with her. She spent evenings studying field guides to the local wildlife, and buttonholing anyone who passed to test her on the key facts. Richard had the most patience for this, and would quite contentedly pass an hour or so sitting at the other end of the couch quizzing her on birds, reptiles and marsupials.
Renovations on the sleep-out began in earnest, although not without some hiccups. They both got thoroughly sunburnt on the first day, having severely underestimated Australian sun while digging out the extension to the foundation for the new bathroom.
'I never burn,' Richard complained, lying face-down on the verandah floor in the evening with a cold wet towel on his back. 'This doesn't make any sense.'
'You shouldn't've taken your shirt off,' Claire pointed out, applying aloe vera gel to Miles' red shoulders in a brisk, nurse-like manner. 'Especially not between ten and four.'
'But it was so hot. It was hot on the Island, it was hot at home, but this is ridiculous.'
'And he looked all hunky and sweaty,' Miles added ruefully. 'I egged him on.'
'Well, now he looks all pink and uncomfortable, so let that be a lesson to you.'
'Only ogle him in the shade?'
'Anyway, it's not as bad as it might be,' she said, peeling back the towel to take a look. 'You're not blistering. You're just going to have a really bad night and be sore for a few days.'
It was an extremely bad night, which they spent on opposite sides of the bed trying not to bump or brush against each other, in between getting up to apply more aloe and complain to each other about how little it helped.
'This is the first night we've spent together that I haven't felt like jumping you,' Miles pointed out. 'And that's even though I'm rubbing gooey slippery lotiony stuff all over you.'
'End of an era?' Richard mumbled. He was lying face down on the bed trying not to be a wimp about cold gel going onto stinging hot skin.
'I hope not. I've gotten used to my daily dose.' He squeezed more aloe into his hand and went to work on the back of Richard's neck, which was particularly red. 'I mean, I know in the long term the sex side of a relationship is supposed to tail off, but I'm not in a hurry for that to happen.'
'Oh, so I haven't worn you out yet?'
'Nope.'
'Well, it's only been a few months. I guess it doesn't feel as urgent as it did in the beginning, but I keep on enjoying it more.'
'I was kind of surprised about that. I figured we'd both get bored and have to do a lot of kinky stuff to stay interested.'
'Why?'
'Dunno. I'm glad I was wrong, because that shit gets expensive and time-consuming. Feeling any better?'
'A little. If I peel, will you take care of my back?'
'You're asking me to peel dead skin off you. I mean, I'll do it, but I just hope you appreciate the love in that.' He leaned over and turned off the light.
'G'night.'
'G'night.' A pause. 'I wonder if I could peel it all off in one piece, like a snakeskin.'
'Creepy.'
'Yeah.'
'I don't know, you must have some kind of work ethic or something,' Miles said. 'At least you can transmit it to Aaron.'
'Well, he's gone to the supermarket with Kate, so at the moment I suppose he's having sensible food shopping transmitted to him. Move over.' There was more room at Claire's end of the hammock, so he edged himself in there. The rope creaked but held.
'Yay, I'm in a manwich,' said Claire.
'Ew,' said Miles.
'Oh come on. It's warm and cuddly and nice. I'm not being pervy.'
'I'm sorry, Claire, Miles' mind will immediately jump to the most salacious possible interpretation of the most innocent possible comment.'
'I know! I said just now that I thought you were a spunk and he was disgusting about that!'
'I... I don't actually know how he could not be disgusting about that... or why you would say that about me...'
'Oh for God's sake. You are in Australia. If you say someone is a spunk, you mean they're attractive.'
'But you are surely aware of what it means in other countries,' Miles protested.
'Yeah, but why should I stop saying it just because you misuse it?'
'I don't know, because it sounds like you're calling Richard a giant glob of-'
'Stop!' Richard said. 'If I'd known the conversation out here was on this level I would have intervened long ago.'
'Tell him about his blazer,' Claire said, poking Miles in the arm.
'What blazer?'
'We've been fictionalising our own past lives and created this little delusory world where we were all at high school together. And you look very cute in a blazer.'
'I think it's red and black striped, with a thin stripe of yellow in between,' Claire added.
'I thought my job in your terrible high school fantasies was to be the stern librarian.'
'You get to play two roles because you're so special.'
'Your other one is Catholic school prefect who gets molested by Miles on the tram,' Claire said.
'Oh, you've upgraded him to prefect?'
'Yes, I think he's definitely a prefect.'
'How old are we all in this?' Richard asked. 'I'm confused and concerned.'
'Sixteen, seventeen?'
'Yeah, about there.'
'Oh, that's not so bad, then. But I wasn't that appealing when I was seventeen. I was very skinny. I'd reached my adult height but my width hadn't caught up. My brother said I hadn't grown, I'd been stretched.'
'Well, that just makes you sound cuter,' Claire said. 'Doesn't it, Miles. He'd be all lanky.'
'We're getting far too deep into this,' Miles said, 'but I don't care, I like it.'
'May I change the subject?' Richard asked. 'How do you want to see in the New Year?'
'I dunno,' said Claire. 'I promised Aaron we'd wake him up for midnight, but other than that, no real plans.'
'Well, I think New Year's parties are wildly overrated. New Year's, in general, is wildly overrated. But this year I have someone to kiss when the ball drops, so I guess I'm less cynical about it than usual.'
'What do you want to do, Miles?' Richard asked patiently.
'I dunno. Let's eat a lot and watch DVDs. We could watch Australian movies. Are there any good ones?'
'Shuddup.' Claire smacked him.
'I mean apart from Crocodile Dundee, obviously.'
'Aargh. Okay then, we'll watch The Castle and The Nugget. That's a good double feature. Then, maybe, Strictly Ballroom... ummm... Muriel's Wedding. I think that's all the ones we've got. At home, Miles, not in the history of Australian film.'
'Sounds like a good lineup.'
'Sounds like a plan, then.' Claire said, satisfied. They were quiet for a while.
'What is it,' Richard wondered aloud, 'about lying in a hammock in the sunshine that robs you of the will to move?'
'I don't know. What happened to your work ethic?' Miles asked.
'It's faded away. I just want to lie here and bask.' He closed his eyes and folded his hands on his chest.
'Look how pretty he is,' Claire whispered.
'I know. What a spunk,' Miles whispered back.
'That's what we say about him on the tram. It's a very teenage sort of word. Look at that spunk in the blazer.'
'Claire, you are setting him off,' Richard said reproachfully as Miles dissolved into wheezing laughter, curling up like a pillbug.
'I can't help it if he's got a dirty mind!' she protested insincerely.
'Well, just stop it. Go away before he wets his pants. Go on, get out of here. You're a bad influence.' He shooed her out of the hammock, which caused the middle to sag and Miles to roll onto him, still cackling.
'Byeeeeee,' Claire called, running away towards the house and leaving him to deal with a helplessly giggling person.
And so 2008 was rung in, with applause, kisses and an assault on the paso doble.
After New Year, the summer seemed to swell, the sun growing hotter and the days growing brighter still. Kate started her new job, which seemed to agree with her. She spent evenings studying field guides to the local wildlife, and buttonholing anyone who passed to test her on the key facts. Richard had the most patience for this, and would quite contentedly pass an hour or so sitting at the other end of the couch quizzing her on birds, reptiles and marsupials.
Renovations on the sleep-out began in earnest, although not without some hiccups. They both got thoroughly sunburnt on the first day, having severely underestimated Australian sun while digging out the extension to the foundation for the new bathroom.
'I never burn,' Richard complained, lying face-down on the verandah floor in the evening with a cold wet towel on his back. 'This doesn't make any sense.'
'You shouldn't've taken your shirt off,' Claire pointed out, applying aloe vera gel to Miles' red shoulders in a brisk, nurse-like manner. 'Especially not between ten and four.'
'But it was so hot. It was hot on the Island, it was hot at home, but this is ridiculous.'
'And he looked all hunky and sweaty,' Miles added ruefully. 'I egged him on.'
'Well, now he looks all pink and uncomfortable, so let that be a lesson to you.'
'Only ogle him in the shade?'
'Anyway, it's not as bad as it might be,' she said, peeling back the towel to take a look. 'You're not blistering. You're just going to have a really bad night and be sore for a few days.'
It was an extremely bad night, which they spent on opposite sides of the bed trying not to bump or brush against each other, in between getting up to apply more aloe and complain to each other about how little it helped.
'This is the first night we've spent together that I haven't felt like jumping you,' Miles pointed out. 'And that's even though I'm rubbing gooey slippery lotiony stuff all over you.'
'End of an era?' Richard mumbled. He was lying face down on the bed trying not to be a wimp about cold gel going onto stinging hot skin.
'I hope not. I've gotten used to my daily dose.' He squeezed more aloe into his hand and went to work on the back of Richard's neck, which was particularly red. 'I mean, I know in the long term the sex side of a relationship is supposed to tail off, but I'm not in a hurry for that to happen.'
'Oh, so I haven't worn you out yet?'
'Nope.'
'Well, it's only been a few months. I guess it doesn't feel as urgent as it did in the beginning, but I keep on enjoying it more.'
'I was kind of surprised about that. I figured we'd both get bored and have to do a lot of kinky stuff to stay interested.'
'Why?'
'Dunno. I'm glad I was wrong, because that shit gets expensive and time-consuming. Feeling any better?'
'A little. If I peel, will you take care of my back?'
'You're asking me to peel dead skin off you. I mean, I'll do it, but I just hope you appreciate the love in that.' He leaned over and turned off the light.
'G'night.'
'G'night.' A pause. 'I wonder if I could peel it all off in one piece, like a snakeskin.'
'Creepy.'
'Yeah.'