Finding David Part II
silent
softly spoken
wanting
a name
a word
a sigh
my voice
drips,
liquifies
and i am
undone.
It's easy to love someone based on their attractive qualities. That intoxicating brew of physical, intellectual and emotional attributes that push all the right buttons. But I think you know you love someone if you fail to understand something about them and you're so scared to reach out but you do anyway. You know you love someone that even when cracks begin to form, you don't run away but step into the future and know everything's going to be okay because you'll make sure they will be. You know you love someone when you have your own issues to deal with and you feel just as raw inside but you cast your own unhappiness, fears and needs aside because, you discover, what you really want most is to see him happy. The kind of selflessness that begs questioning because the situation was flawed from the start.
And even as you switch from love to pain in a heartbeat, you don't look away from his faults and inconsistencies. You surprise yourself when you find your heart so forgiving and understanding. You realise that you can try and convince yourself otherwise but you know that none of those faults can overshadow what you know about him from the inside. That light that will never be extinguished and never should be.
You see, you read, you hear, you know. While his actions planted seeds of distrust and doubt in your heart, your overwhelming feeling remains constant: that he finds himself in a good place, even if that place doesn't include you. You walk away content in knowing that loving is enough and you pray that in God's infinite wisdom, all things happened for a reason and the best you can do is wait for things to unravel naturally.
You wait because you know that life is not a deck of cards shuffled randomly and generates random consequences. Everything has its rightful place and time. And while it is because of love that you've waited patiently for that moment, it will be your fortitude, self-respect and wisdom that will take you there.
softly spoken
wanting
a name
a word
a sigh
my voice
drips,
liquifies
and i am
undone.
It's easy to love someone based on their attractive qualities. That intoxicating brew of physical, intellectual and emotional attributes that push all the right buttons. But I think you know you love someone if you fail to understand something about them and you're so scared to reach out but you do anyway. You know you love someone that even when cracks begin to form, you don't run away but step into the future and know everything's going to be okay because you'll make sure they will be. You know you love someone when you have your own issues to deal with and you feel just as raw inside but you cast your own unhappiness, fears and needs aside because, you discover, what you really want most is to see him happy. The kind of selflessness that begs questioning because the situation was flawed from the start.
And even as you switch from love to pain in a heartbeat, you don't look away from his faults and inconsistencies. You surprise yourself when you find your heart so forgiving and understanding. You realise that you can try and convince yourself otherwise but you know that none of those faults can overshadow what you know about him from the inside. That light that will never be extinguished and never should be.
You see, you read, you hear, you know. While his actions planted seeds of distrust and doubt in your heart, your overwhelming feeling remains constant: that he finds himself in a good place, even if that place doesn't include you. You walk away content in knowing that loving is enough and you pray that in God's infinite wisdom, all things happened for a reason and the best you can do is wait for things to unravel naturally.
You wait because you know that life is not a deck of cards shuffled randomly and generates random consequences. Everything has its rightful place and time. And while it is because of love that you've waited patiently for that moment, it will be your fortitude, self-respect and wisdom that will take you there.