Writing practice #2345
Are all women crazy? Or just chronically dissatisfied?
I’ve heard it all before. When things get nasty, as they usually do in relationships, the first thing that comes out of a man’s mouth is ‘Women are crazy!’ or suchlike. This becomes the battle cry for what might happen next. The break up, the heartache, the tears, the anger, the hate and finally, nothing.
I wonder, why is it that relationships that start out promising and wonderful sometimes turn into a mountain of misery and muck? Is it that she changed? he changed? Or things changed?
It’s easy to laugh now. But not while you’re riding that rollercoaster of emotions as you try and rescue the relationship from all the craziness.
Every woman is different so I can’t speak for all. And I am not saying that men are right when they say ‘women are crazy’, but taking myself out of the picture, I can see why they would think so. :P
We start out normal and in fact, highly desirable. We have a social life, a set of friends we see regularly, a list of extracurricular activities longer than a car pile up in peak traffic and a ton of books to read that feeds us with all these juicy, smart insightful comments to win our next victim.
Once the trap is set, said man is all twinkly-eyed at finding the woman that they’ve been waiting for all their life, different to all the crazy, psycho bitches they’ve loved and dated previously.
Months later the love bubble bursts and the couple returns to reality. That is, all the other stuff they’ve neglected when they were heavily besotted with each other such as work, friends, social engagements, family, etc. have to be dealt with.
As these variables enter the fray, the woman now feels like she is not at the center of the universe. This leads to first, accepting that this is the case but then later, wondering why this is the case and that said man should get his priorities straight and devote all his attention to said woman.
Of course this is not going to happen and out they come, the ‘crazy’ symptoms such as the crying, the outbursts, accusations of infidelity, obsessive phone calls and text messages, mood swings, sulkiness, perhaps spying and so on. All of these of course only aggravate the situation.
But that is just the tip of the iceberg. What happens when there is a real crisis (as opposed to the ones we made up :P) and both parties have different coping mechanisms? What if they can’t seem to find a common ground and the woman just gets 'crazier'?
And what about the man? Does he stay sane or does he add fuel to the fire by his behaviour and reactions too?
I hate to admit this but if someone asks me ‘why are women crazy?’, I would answer that nothing you do will ever be good enough. Ack! It might start out that we are happy with something then a lot then everything but there is always room for more. I think no matter how much a man gives, they can always give a little bit more. Or that what one man can’t give, we think someone else can. So it’s almost like we go crazy as some sort of self-destructive behaviour to get what we want (which we don’t get) or move on to start afresh hoping the next man will give that to us (which never happens either, except to some).
Also, we exhibit irrational behaviour under stress when we feel like we're going to lose you. Ironically, it's that same behaviour which results to the fallout, not the reasons we had in our heads!
Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone. I’m sure there are women out there who are, for all intents and purposes, unencumbered by the abovementioned moments of insanity-slash-insecurity.
Different levels of craziness reveal themselves when it comes to behaving and communicating with the one you love. The question a man should ask himself is not whether he can find someone who is not crazy but rather, find someone whose level of craziness he can live with. :P I know *I* can get crazy and as much as I am aware of it and would rather that the monster in me doesn’t come out, it’s almost a built-in flaw. Thankfully, I think I get better at toning it down and learning how to just be with age.
Yes, there are the lucky few who find that special someone in their life, who is their match in so many ways, that the ‘crazy’ gene rarely surfaces.
But sometimes, I am left scratching my head too. Because I can flip this and ask are all men bastards? or just chronically dissatisfied?