The Manhattan Elites Do Self-Deception Better Than Anyone Else (30 Rock, Jack/Liz)
Title: The Manhattan Elites Do Self-Deception Better Than Anyone Else
Prompt: 100_situations #032. Deception
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Word Count: 559
Rating: PG
Table: Number Two.
Summary: Liz, Jack, a McCain fundraiser, and a series of lists.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue!
*
Liz goes to the John McCain fundraiser for two reasons:
1) To see how sad the Republicans look.
2) Because Jack asked her. (And she doesn't mean because Jack asked her. She means she had nothing else to do, and Jack is her friend.)
Liz doesn't enjoy the John McCain fundraiser for six reasons:
1) Everyone keeps greeting her as "Mrs. Palin," "Governor Palin," or "Barracuda." Gross.
2) One dude thought she was the lady who played Palin in that porn movie. Double gross.
3) Jack keeps making comments about how Liz should be flattered, as Governor Palin is exceptionally attractive.
4) Jack says, in a whisper, that the woman in the pornographic film is also rather alluring. God, she hates him sometimes.
5) When she does get into a few political discussions with people who recognize she's not Sarah Palin, Liz is called a socialist, a commie, and "the most unmavericky type of Washington insider." Which makes no sense, because she hasn't been there since a field trip in high school.
6) She's a little irritated that Jack finds Sarah Palin so desirable.
Liz is irritated because:
1) That woman is just... ugh.
2) When she breaks out her Palin impression to make fun of the Charlie Gibson interview and chirps out a few phrases like "I can see Russia from my house!" and "Let me tell you, Charlie!" Jack looks... a little... turned-on.
3) Obviously, for Jack to find her attractive, she would have to be an entirely different person.
4) She doesn't like that she kind of wants Jack to find her attractive.
Liz doesn't like it for two reasons:
1) It would never, ever happen. The 'Jack being into her' thing.
2) It means she kind of finds Jack attractive.
Liz wants to go back to thinking about McCain because:
1) He's less horrifying than her very mild sexual attraction to Jack Donaghy.
Liz currently wants to leave the McCain fundraiser because:
1) Another dude just called her "Governor Palin"... with the tone of voice a person should use while talking to the one in the porno. While in the porno.
2) Jack keeps asking her to say "hockey mom" and "maverick."
Liz currently wants to say the following things to Jack:
1) "Shut up."
2) "Ugh, please don't use me as a prelude to whatever creepy sex dream you're going to have about Sarah Palin tonight."
3) "Really, shut up."
Liz says:
1) "My feet hurt and I want to go home."
Jack does:
1) Look her over, going from her feet up.
Says:
1) "I think you should play Sarah Palin on your show."
Liz:
1) Finally tells him to shut up.
2) Goes home.
3) Decides she doesn't care if he's all crazy about Sarah Palin. Really. It's his gross business, just like all of his other sex-related stuff, or whatever.
4) Is still irritated by the rest of the Republican dudes, because she doesn't know them and, therefore, finds it easier to dislike them.
Jack:
1) Goes home.
2) Wonders if he might be drawn to Sarah Palin because of her resemblance to Liz Lemon.
2a) Decides that would be crazy.
3) Does admit, at least to himself, that Palin's accent can be somewhat grating.
3a) And that what he finds grating about Lemon, he also finds somewhat charming.
END
Prompt: 100_situations #032. Deception
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Word Count: 559
Rating: PG
Table: Number Two.
Summary: Liz, Jack, a McCain fundraiser, and a series of lists.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue!
*
Liz goes to the John McCain fundraiser for two reasons:
1) To see how sad the Republicans look.
2) Because Jack asked her. (And she doesn't mean because Jack asked her. She means she had nothing else to do, and Jack is her friend.)
Liz doesn't enjoy the John McCain fundraiser for six reasons:
1) Everyone keeps greeting her as "Mrs. Palin," "Governor Palin," or "Barracuda." Gross.
2) One dude thought she was the lady who played Palin in that porn movie. Double gross.
3) Jack keeps making comments about how Liz should be flattered, as Governor Palin is exceptionally attractive.
4) Jack says, in a whisper, that the woman in the pornographic film is also rather alluring. God, she hates him sometimes.
5) When she does get into a few political discussions with people who recognize she's not Sarah Palin, Liz is called a socialist, a commie, and "the most unmavericky type of Washington insider." Which makes no sense, because she hasn't been there since a field trip in high school.
6) She's a little irritated that Jack finds Sarah Palin so desirable.
Liz is irritated because:
1) That woman is just... ugh.
2) When she breaks out her Palin impression to make fun of the Charlie Gibson interview and chirps out a few phrases like "I can see Russia from my house!" and "Let me tell you, Charlie!" Jack looks... a little... turned-on.
3) Obviously, for Jack to find her attractive, she would have to be an entirely different person.
4) She doesn't like that she kind of wants Jack to find her attractive.
Liz doesn't like it for two reasons:
1) It would never, ever happen. The 'Jack being into her' thing.
2) It means she kind of finds Jack attractive.
Liz wants to go back to thinking about McCain because:
1) He's less horrifying than her very mild sexual attraction to Jack Donaghy.
Liz currently wants to leave the McCain fundraiser because:
1) Another dude just called her "Governor Palin"... with the tone of voice a person should use while talking to the one in the porno. While in the porno.
2) Jack keeps asking her to say "hockey mom" and "maverick."
Liz currently wants to say the following things to Jack:
1) "Shut up."
2) "Ugh, please don't use me as a prelude to whatever creepy sex dream you're going to have about Sarah Palin tonight."
3) "Really, shut up."
Liz says:
1) "My feet hurt and I want to go home."
Jack does:
1) Look her over, going from her feet up.
Says:
1) "I think you should play Sarah Palin on your show."
Liz:
1) Finally tells him to shut up.
2) Goes home.
3) Decides she doesn't care if he's all crazy about Sarah Palin. Really. It's his gross business, just like all of his other sex-related stuff, or whatever.
4) Is still irritated by the rest of the Republican dudes, because she doesn't know them and, therefore, finds it easier to dislike them.
Jack:
1) Goes home.
2) Wonders if he might be drawn to Sarah Palin because of her resemblance to Liz Lemon.
2a) Decides that would be crazy.
3) Does admit, at least to himself, that Palin's accent can be somewhat grating.
3a) And that what he finds grating about Lemon, he also finds somewhat charming.
END