Sneaking Suspicions (But Not Being Paranoid) (30 Rock, Jack/Liz)
Title: Sneaking Suspicions (But Not Being Paranoid)
Prompt: 100_situations #030. Lies
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Word Count: 1,967
Rating: R
Table: Number Two.
Summary: Five times Jenna thought Jack and Liz were romantically involved.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue!
*
1.
After Jenna renegotiated her contract and didn't get much of what she asked for -- including the dog masseuse for the labradoodles she might buy -- Liz was mystified to notice Jenna smiling at her during the walk to her office. One of those knowing, anticipatory smiles, as if the two of them shared a secret they couldn't wait to discuss.
Liz studied her friend curiously for a moment before saying, "You realize we kind of crushed you back there, right?" It was mostly Jack, but still. She was there.
Jenna kept on with the knowing smile. Liz still couldn't figure out what she was supposed to be clued in to. "How long has it been going on?"
"Me sitting in on contract negotiations?"
"No. You and Jack. How long have you been--"
The tone of Jenna's voice signaled that she was going to finish her sentence with something sexual, so Liz shook her head. "Never. At no time."
"Come on, Liz, he was gazing at you! The way Mulder used to gaze at Scully."
"Jack does not gaze at me. Mulder does not gaze at Scully. And since when do you watch The X-Files?"
"I saw a picture of David Duchovny in a speedo--"
She held up her hand. "Never mind."
"Well, if you're not sleeping together, he definitely has a thing for you. He was looking at you like he's in love with you."
Liz scoffed. "He just likes contract negotiations. They make him very happy. Too happy. And I'm sure there are dudes he would date before he'd even think of dating me."
Jenna raised her eyebrows, smile widening. "And you're disappointed by that."
"Get out."
*
2.
"I heard some very interesting gossip from Grizz."
Liz didn't look up from her laptop, but she could sense Jenna waiting for a response and knew that she would stay until she got one. She minimized her browser window and met Jenna's eyes. "Okay. What is it?"
"You and Jack were seen holding hands as you walked down the hallway."
She shook her head. "We don't hold hands. If anybody saw anything, it was him holding my arm."
"And why would he hold your arm?"
Liz shrugged. "I don't know." She used to think it was weird, his habit of guiding her when she knew where they were going, but she'd gotten used to it. "He just does. It doesn't mean anything."
"He doesn't hold on to my arm when we walk and talk."
"You don't walk and talk with Jack."
"We did once. You weren't around. But he didn't touch my arm in a way that looks like hand-holding."
She sighed. "Get out."
*
3.
Jenna took off her Paris Hilton wig and immediately started fluffing her own hair. "So. You're going to dinner with Jack and his mother tonight?"
Liz sighed. "I think I know where this is going."
"Who takes their friend out to dinner with their mother?"
"A lot of people, actually. I've taken you out to dinner with my parents. I've been out with Jack and his mother before. He needs a buffer. I'm the third wheel that makes everything run well. Or less terribly."
"Why doesn't he take his girlfriend?"
"He broke up with his girlfriend."
Jenna smiled. "Really?"
She shrugged. "I'd be going anyway."
"Really?"
"Colleen hated Jack's girlfriend. She hates all of his girlfriends."
"Really?"
"Stop saying really that way," Liz snapped. "I don't know why I tell you anything."
"You don't tell me anything! That's the point. You're obviously having sex with Jack and you won't tell me about it. I'd tell you all about it if I were having sex with him."
Her eyes widened. "Well, I'm very glad you're not having sex with him."
"Really?"
"Get out."
Jenna tilted her head. "This is my dressing room."
"Oh. Right. Then I will get out."
*
4.
After the elevator got to their floor and Jack got on, Jenna turned to Liz, doing that anticipatory smile thing again. Liz was preemptively irritated.
"Don't."
But Jenna did. "You were staring at him, Liz."
"He was talking to me."
"But you were staring at him like you didn't want to look away, like you were completely captivated. I've had that look directed at me enough times to know it when I see it."
"Oh brother."
"I'm only pointing these things out for your own good. So you get up the nerve to go for it, if you actually haven't. Because, seriously, Liz, the way he looks at you--"
"I've got to go. And Jack doesn't look at me."
It took her a couple of minutes to realize that was too strong a denial.
*
5.
Liz generally wouldn't have sex with Jack at work... and, well, until three weeks ago, she wasn't having sex with Jack at all. But, you know, for almost a month, there had been no workplace boffing. She's made -- was about to make -- an exception tonight, as everyone's gone home and she found herself thinking about Jack (and sex with Jack) while making edits on Lutz's second draft of his Rock of Love Bus parody (one of the ladies: Octomom, who was to be played by Josh in a wig and oversized fake lips). Not that there was anything in the sketch she could connect to Jack (or sex with Jack); it was just kind of boring and Jack had called her in the middle of reading it. Then when Jack was at her door, she decided to fool around with him a little on her couch. Because she liked fooling around with him. And fooling around became her jeans on the floor and his hand down her panties. Which was something she was also in favor of.
A lot.
He noticed, of course, and had made a comment about how wet she was. It was odd, but she didn't mind him saying stuff like that. Obviously, Dennis's version of dirty talk was the problem, not dirty talk in general.
Well, maybe it was dirty talk in general and Jack was an exception to the rule. Somehow, it made more sense that things -- like hearing how much he wanted to fuck her, like doing it more than once a week, like doing it at all -- were simply better with Jack rather than her being totally wrong about the usefulness of sex.
Because this -- a man's hand between her legs, his mouth on her neck -- had happened before, but it had never felt quite this good.
He kissed his way up to her lips, lingered for a while before pulling away. His gaze shifted to the motion of his hand, then back up her body. She licked her lips and pulled his mouth to hers. Her fingers slid through his hair and her breath hitched. She said his name in a way that was half-pleading because she had yet to become comfortable with saying, "I need you to make me come."
He pulled back again but didn't break eye contact as his fingers kept stroking her. One brushed over the apex of her sex, then again. She whimpered his name, and he pressed two fingers on either side of her clit. Started touching her in tighter, smaller movements. "You like that, Lemon?"
"Yes," she gasped out. Her gasp turned into a moan she didn't try to stifle because, well, no one was around to hear it.
Suddenly, from the other side of the door: "Oh my God!"
Liz sat up straight and Jack pulled his hand away.
"What in God's name--" he began.
"Jenna!" she whispered. "She heard you doing stuff to me!"
"And?"
She didn't answer as she quickly put her jeans on. Jack was frowning at her, almost pouting, and Liz considered saying she wasn't going to stop fooling around with him, merely put it on pause, but she didn't want Jenna to hear that, too. She quickly closed the door behind her after she exited her office.
"Hey, friend!" she said. "How's it going?"
Jenna was smiling way too widely. "You were having sex with Jack in there."
"Ha ha, no!" Liz's fake laugh was a little too fake even for her. "What an odd thing for you to say."
"I heard him ask if you liked 'that,' and then you moaned."
"I was eating cheesecake. He bought me cheesecake."
Jenna considered this for a moment. "Fine, I've heard you make that noise while eating, but I am definitely right this time."
Why was she still denying this when it was true? When she was fine with it being true? "Okay, okay! You're right. I'm having sex with Jack."
At this point, Jenna was practically beaming. "You have to tell me if what this woman said about his penis was true--"
"Whoa!"
"She's in my yoga class. And I know what you're thinking; I'm limber enough. And you're right, but I'm really doing it for the sense of emotional centeredness. So, she said it was--"
"No!"
"She was complimentary--"
"I am not talking to you about my boyfriend's penis. Or any penises. Now... please go, okay? There was a whole... you know. Mood. Or something. Please go away."
"I'll leave," Jenna said. "But first, admit I was right."
"I already did."
"I mean the times before this."
"You weren't right," Liz said. "We started sleeping together a few weeks ago."
"But you wanted to sleep together. My intuition was, as always, correct, and I should think you would know by now not to underestimate my keen insight simply because of my stunning good looks--"
"Sure, okay. Leave now."
She nodded. "I can see you're eager to get rid of me, so I will assume the answers to all my questions are yes. On behalf of my entire yoga class, congratulations."
Liz didn't know how to respond to that.
After Jenna left, Liz returned to her office. Jack immediately said, "Personally, I would like to know what's being said about my penis."
"Come on, you don't need to be told anything about your penis." She sighed. "So I guess the mood is ruined."
"I do feel much less aroused," he said, using both hands to gesture to his lap, "as you can see."
"I did notice."
"Perhaps we should go back to my place and try to... reclaim what was so cruelly stolen."
Liz raised her eyebrows. "Well, that sounds way too dramatic."
"Interrupting a moment in someone's sex life is a serious offense. If you hear what you believe to be two people being intimate, you should either leave quietly or stay quietly."
"Gross," she muttered. "Anyway, let's just forget this and go have sex in your bed, which is a lot better than my old couch anyway."
He nodded. "Yes. Let's." He stood up and kissed her before grabbing his jacket off the armrest of the couch and her bag from the floor. After he handed Liz her purse, he slid his arm around her and kissed her again, lingering for longer this time. "My bed isn't the only piece of furniture in my apartment that's suitable for sex."
"I don't doubt it."
She deepened the kiss and pressed herself against him. He slid his hand down her back until he reached her ass, smirking against her mouth as she moaned into his.
"Are we already reclaiming what was lost?" Liz asked.
"I believe so." He threw his jacket on the couch. Both hands moved to the front of her jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them. "We can have sex on my piano at a later time."
She dropped her bag to the floor. "Well. Okay then."
Liz smiled and thought words she generally never did:
I'm glad Jenna was right.
END
Prompt: 100_situations #030. Lies
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Word Count: 1,967
Rating: R
Table: Number Two.
Summary: Five times Jenna thought Jack and Liz were romantically involved.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue!
*
1.
After Jenna renegotiated her contract and didn't get much of what she asked for -- including the dog masseuse for the labradoodles she might buy -- Liz was mystified to notice Jenna smiling at her during the walk to her office. One of those knowing, anticipatory smiles, as if the two of them shared a secret they couldn't wait to discuss.
Liz studied her friend curiously for a moment before saying, "You realize we kind of crushed you back there, right?" It was mostly Jack, but still. She was there.
Jenna kept on with the knowing smile. Liz still couldn't figure out what she was supposed to be clued in to. "How long has it been going on?"
"Me sitting in on contract negotiations?"
"No. You and Jack. How long have you been--"
The tone of Jenna's voice signaled that she was going to finish her sentence with something sexual, so Liz shook her head. "Never. At no time."
"Come on, Liz, he was gazing at you! The way Mulder used to gaze at Scully."
"Jack does not gaze at me. Mulder does not gaze at Scully. And since when do you watch The X-Files?"
"I saw a picture of David Duchovny in a speedo--"
She held up her hand. "Never mind."
"Well, if you're not sleeping together, he definitely has a thing for you. He was looking at you like he's in love with you."
Liz scoffed. "He just likes contract negotiations. They make him very happy. Too happy. And I'm sure there are dudes he would date before he'd even think of dating me."
Jenna raised her eyebrows, smile widening. "And you're disappointed by that."
"Get out."
*
2.
"I heard some very interesting gossip from Grizz."
Liz didn't look up from her laptop, but she could sense Jenna waiting for a response and knew that she would stay until she got one. She minimized her browser window and met Jenna's eyes. "Okay. What is it?"
"You and Jack were seen holding hands as you walked down the hallway."
She shook her head. "We don't hold hands. If anybody saw anything, it was him holding my arm."
"And why would he hold your arm?"
Liz shrugged. "I don't know." She used to think it was weird, his habit of guiding her when she knew where they were going, but she'd gotten used to it. "He just does. It doesn't mean anything."
"He doesn't hold on to my arm when we walk and talk."
"You don't walk and talk with Jack."
"We did once. You weren't around. But he didn't touch my arm in a way that looks like hand-holding."
She sighed. "Get out."
*
3.
Jenna took off her Paris Hilton wig and immediately started fluffing her own hair. "So. You're going to dinner with Jack and his mother tonight?"
Liz sighed. "I think I know where this is going."
"Who takes their friend out to dinner with their mother?"
"A lot of people, actually. I've taken you out to dinner with my parents. I've been out with Jack and his mother before. He needs a buffer. I'm the third wheel that makes everything run well. Or less terribly."
"Why doesn't he take his girlfriend?"
"He broke up with his girlfriend."
Jenna smiled. "Really?"
She shrugged. "I'd be going anyway."
"Really?"
"Colleen hated Jack's girlfriend. She hates all of his girlfriends."
"Really?"
"Stop saying really that way," Liz snapped. "I don't know why I tell you anything."
"You don't tell me anything! That's the point. You're obviously having sex with Jack and you won't tell me about it. I'd tell you all about it if I were having sex with him."
Her eyes widened. "Well, I'm very glad you're not having sex with him."
"Really?"
"Get out."
Jenna tilted her head. "This is my dressing room."
"Oh. Right. Then I will get out."
*
4.
After the elevator got to their floor and Jack got on, Jenna turned to Liz, doing that anticipatory smile thing again. Liz was preemptively irritated.
"Don't."
But Jenna did. "You were staring at him, Liz."
"He was talking to me."
"But you were staring at him like you didn't want to look away, like you were completely captivated. I've had that look directed at me enough times to know it when I see it."
"Oh brother."
"I'm only pointing these things out for your own good. So you get up the nerve to go for it, if you actually haven't. Because, seriously, Liz, the way he looks at you--"
"I've got to go. And Jack doesn't look at me."
It took her a couple of minutes to realize that was too strong a denial.
*
5.
Liz generally wouldn't have sex with Jack at work... and, well, until three weeks ago, she wasn't having sex with Jack at all. But, you know, for almost a month, there had been no workplace boffing. She's made -- was about to make -- an exception tonight, as everyone's gone home and she found herself thinking about Jack (and sex with Jack) while making edits on Lutz's second draft of his Rock of Love Bus parody (one of the ladies: Octomom, who was to be played by Josh in a wig and oversized fake lips). Not that there was anything in the sketch she could connect to Jack (or sex with Jack); it was just kind of boring and Jack had called her in the middle of reading it. Then when Jack was at her door, she decided to fool around with him a little on her couch. Because she liked fooling around with him. And fooling around became her jeans on the floor and his hand down her panties. Which was something she was also in favor of.
A lot.
He noticed, of course, and had made a comment about how wet she was. It was odd, but she didn't mind him saying stuff like that. Obviously, Dennis's version of dirty talk was the problem, not dirty talk in general.
Well, maybe it was dirty talk in general and Jack was an exception to the rule. Somehow, it made more sense that things -- like hearing how much he wanted to fuck her, like doing it more than once a week, like doing it at all -- were simply better with Jack rather than her being totally wrong about the usefulness of sex.
Because this -- a man's hand between her legs, his mouth on her neck -- had happened before, but it had never felt quite this good.
He kissed his way up to her lips, lingered for a while before pulling away. His gaze shifted to the motion of his hand, then back up her body. She licked her lips and pulled his mouth to hers. Her fingers slid through his hair and her breath hitched. She said his name in a way that was half-pleading because she had yet to become comfortable with saying, "I need you to make me come."
He pulled back again but didn't break eye contact as his fingers kept stroking her. One brushed over the apex of her sex, then again. She whimpered his name, and he pressed two fingers on either side of her clit. Started touching her in tighter, smaller movements. "You like that, Lemon?"
"Yes," she gasped out. Her gasp turned into a moan she didn't try to stifle because, well, no one was around to hear it.
Suddenly, from the other side of the door: "Oh my God!"
Liz sat up straight and Jack pulled his hand away.
"What in God's name--" he began.
"Jenna!" she whispered. "She heard you doing stuff to me!"
"And?"
She didn't answer as she quickly put her jeans on. Jack was frowning at her, almost pouting, and Liz considered saying she wasn't going to stop fooling around with him, merely put it on pause, but she didn't want Jenna to hear that, too. She quickly closed the door behind her after she exited her office.
"Hey, friend!" she said. "How's it going?"
Jenna was smiling way too widely. "You were having sex with Jack in there."
"Ha ha, no!" Liz's fake laugh was a little too fake even for her. "What an odd thing for you to say."
"I heard him ask if you liked 'that,' and then you moaned."
"I was eating cheesecake. He bought me cheesecake."
Jenna considered this for a moment. "Fine, I've heard you make that noise while eating, but I am definitely right this time."
Why was she still denying this when it was true? When she was fine with it being true? "Okay, okay! You're right. I'm having sex with Jack."
At this point, Jenna was practically beaming. "You have to tell me if what this woman said about his penis was true--"
"Whoa!"
"She's in my yoga class. And I know what you're thinking; I'm limber enough. And you're right, but I'm really doing it for the sense of emotional centeredness. So, she said it was--"
"No!"
"She was complimentary--"
"I am not talking to you about my boyfriend's penis. Or any penises. Now... please go, okay? There was a whole... you know. Mood. Or something. Please go away."
"I'll leave," Jenna said. "But first, admit I was right."
"I already did."
"I mean the times before this."
"You weren't right," Liz said. "We started sleeping together a few weeks ago."
"But you wanted to sleep together. My intuition was, as always, correct, and I should think you would know by now not to underestimate my keen insight simply because of my stunning good looks--"
"Sure, okay. Leave now."
She nodded. "I can see you're eager to get rid of me, so I will assume the answers to all my questions are yes. On behalf of my entire yoga class, congratulations."
Liz didn't know how to respond to that.
After Jenna left, Liz returned to her office. Jack immediately said, "Personally, I would like to know what's being said about my penis."
"Come on, you don't need to be told anything about your penis." She sighed. "So I guess the mood is ruined."
"I do feel much less aroused," he said, using both hands to gesture to his lap, "as you can see."
"I did notice."
"Perhaps we should go back to my place and try to... reclaim what was so cruelly stolen."
Liz raised her eyebrows. "Well, that sounds way too dramatic."
"Interrupting a moment in someone's sex life is a serious offense. If you hear what you believe to be two people being intimate, you should either leave quietly or stay quietly."
"Gross," she muttered. "Anyway, let's just forget this and go have sex in your bed, which is a lot better than my old couch anyway."
He nodded. "Yes. Let's." He stood up and kissed her before grabbing his jacket off the armrest of the couch and her bag from the floor. After he handed Liz her purse, he slid his arm around her and kissed her again, lingering for longer this time. "My bed isn't the only piece of furniture in my apartment that's suitable for sex."
"I don't doubt it."
She deepened the kiss and pressed herself against him. He slid his hand down her back until he reached her ass, smirking against her mouth as she moaned into his.
"Are we already reclaiming what was lost?" Liz asked.
"I believe so." He threw his jacket on the couch. Both hands moved to the front of her jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them. "We can have sex on my piano at a later time."
She dropped her bag to the floor. "Well. Okay then."
Liz smiled and thought words she generally never did:
I'm glad Jenna was right.
END