30 Rock, Jack/Liz, Random One, Prompt #11. Complicated
Title: Page in a Book
Author: michellek
Challenge: drabble123
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Table: Random One
Prompt: #11. Complicated
Rating: R
Word Count: 300
Summary: "This is way too complicated."
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
*
"Okay. This is way too complicated."
"Penetration is the simplest act a man and woman can engage in--"
"What about shaking hands? I feel like shaking hands with a guy is simpler than letting him put his penis in me."
"From my personal experience, sex is more primal, meant to communicate a straightforward message: that those involved are aroused and wish to achieve orgasm. Shaking hands can mean hundreds of different things."
"This isn't the point. I'm not even taking issue with 'penetration...' Why am I using air quotes? Oh, right, because it's a weird way to talk about sex. Or maybe the word just sounds weird... But, anyway, I'm not saying I don't want to be 'penetrated...' I don't know why I did air quotes again. Anyway, you know I don't have a problem with that."
"I'm not saying you do. I'm saying sex isn't complicated."
"It is. This in particular is way too complicated. If you have to show me a picture in a book, if there are *diagrams* involved, it's too complicated."
"I didn't *need* to use diagrams; you simply seem like a woman who learns at a quicker pace when visual aids are involved. That's why I had Jenna give you a DVD about the art of oral sex for your birthday."
"Oh God. It was creepy enough when I thought she gave that to me on her own. I haven't watched it, by the way."
"I know."
"Am I *that* bad? No, don't answer. Just... next time I do it, tell me what you want. Okay? Tell me. And if this is an easy position to get into, tell me how to get into it."
"I believe that, at some points, it would be easier for me to guide parts of your body into the intended alignment."
"Okay. That's good."
"It will be, Lemon. It will be."
END
Author: michellek
Challenge: drabble123
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Table: Random One
Prompt: #11. Complicated
Rating: R
Word Count: 300
Summary: "This is way too complicated."
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
*
"Okay. This is way too complicated."
"Penetration is the simplest act a man and woman can engage in--"
"What about shaking hands? I feel like shaking hands with a guy is simpler than letting him put his penis in me."
"From my personal experience, sex is more primal, meant to communicate a straightforward message: that those involved are aroused and wish to achieve orgasm. Shaking hands can mean hundreds of different things."
"This isn't the point. I'm not even taking issue with 'penetration...' Why am I using air quotes? Oh, right, because it's a weird way to talk about sex. Or maybe the word just sounds weird... But, anyway, I'm not saying I don't want to be 'penetrated...' I don't know why I did air quotes again. Anyway, you know I don't have a problem with that."
"I'm not saying you do. I'm saying sex isn't complicated."
"It is. This in particular is way too complicated. If you have to show me a picture in a book, if there are *diagrams* involved, it's too complicated."
"I didn't *need* to use diagrams; you simply seem like a woman who learns at a quicker pace when visual aids are involved. That's why I had Jenna give you a DVD about the art of oral sex for your birthday."
"Oh God. It was creepy enough when I thought she gave that to me on her own. I haven't watched it, by the way."
"I know."
"Am I *that* bad? No, don't answer. Just... next time I do it, tell me what you want. Okay? Tell me. And if this is an easy position to get into, tell me how to get into it."
"I believe that, at some points, it would be easier for me to guide parts of your body into the intended alignment."
"Okay. That's good."
"It will be, Lemon. It will be."
END