That One Time (Jack/Liz/Carol)
Title: That One Time
Prompt: 100_situations #019. Fun
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairings: Jack/Liz/Carol, Jack/Liz, Liz/Carol
Word Count: PG-13
Rating: 1,248
Table: Number Two.
Notes: This may be unsatisfying as a follow-up to porn, but it just popped into my head and, hey, there's nothing wrong with Jack and Liz talking. Also, I'm a bit behind in emails/comments. I will rectify that in the next couple of days.
Summary: "You still haven't thanked me." Follows " The Strangest Thing."
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue!
*
"So that is the story of how I got to meet Duff Goldman from Ace of Cakes," Liz weakly finishes her story, sensing Jack is bored by the anecdote about her Saturday.
(Which is lame because, come on, since when is coming across a famous food artist in Home Depot *not* exciting, especially when she was only in Home Depot to find out if they had a bathroom that's open to the public? That is one in a million stuff.)
His lack of interest is hammered home by the dismissive way he says:
"Fascinating." He motions for her to sit down before he folds his hands on the desk in front of him. "Now, if you don't mind addressing an issue of somewhat more importance--"
Liz flops down on the chair and slouches in defeat. "You're canceling us, right? If you're canceling us, you should have at least pretended to care about my Duff Goldman story."
"You're not being canceled; you still have a good... well, fair to mediocre season or two ahead of you."
She holds a fist up in the air. "Yay! Suck that, ihatetgs at blogspot dot com!"
He exhales. "How many times have I told you not to pay attention to bloggers?"
"Six. But, seriously, he's watching it every week just to complain! He's the jerk, not me--"
He holds his hand up.
She falls silent.
"Thank you." He pauses. "Speaking of which, you still haven't thanked me."
"That's what this is about? I didn't think you were serious." She huffs in annoyance. "Fine. Thank you for allowing TGS to constantly mock Sarah Palin, a fine American and our next president. And she isn't going to be president, by the way. And I'm not going to say the stuff about Obama being a Communist."
"I appreciate that, but I was referring to the night I spent in your apartment a couple of weeks ago."
Liz tenses. "Oh."
"Assisting your relationship--"
She holds her hand up.
Jack falls silent.
Awesome. She didn't know she could pull that move on him.
"Why," she says, "didn't anyone believe me when I said I was *never* going to talk about this?"
"I take it Carol talks about that evening during sex?"
"Yeah." She pauses. Her eyes narrow. "Did he tell you he does?"
"No. But he obviously would want to revisit you acting out his fantasy."
"Obviously," she says, tone mocking.
Probably too mocking, because it does make sense. Though she wasn't expecting it at first.
"In any case, that's not a conversation you need to participate in, and neither is this. I simply want you to acknowledge that I've done something positive for you."
"Okay, fine. Thank you for having sex with me." Her words come out in this irritated rush and she almost wants to apologize. Because she didn't hate it, but... she doesn't want to talk about how she didn't hate it. She has a boyfriend and she only did it for him, and she and Jack should be back to their normal selves. Until this moment, she felt that they have been. Except for a few times when she *remembered* having sex with him, remembered little things like his hand on her thigh, or more explicit things like where his mouth was when his hand was moving up and down her thigh. But thoughts don't affect friendships; this is why she's kept how she feels about Jenna's music career to herself. (And that, unlike Jenna's movie career, is something she is *not* jealous of on any level, so she *knows* 'Muffin Top' is a bad song. She never wanted to sing, so. See? Completely objective.) "Can we *really* never talk about this again starting *now*?"
He laughs, smile lingering. "Lemon, how is it possible you can--"
"I know what I did! So don't say it."
"--participate in such a situation, thoroughly enjoy yourself, and be so uncomfortable with acknowledging it later?"
"Because... I don't know. We're friends. You... helped me out. We should just let it stay in the past. I mean, you don't talk to Carol about it all the time, do you?"
"No." He half-nods, tilts his head. "But he did thank me in advance of the two of us proposing the situation to you."
"That's nice of him, I guess. Okay." She closes her eyes. "Thank you. I appreciate it."
"And, for what it's worth, I would be open to assisting you in the future."
Jack doesn't sound like he's joking.
Her eyes snap open. He doesn't look like he's joking, either. "One time thing, Jack. I made that clear. Why would you want to do it again?"
"Well, on one level, I appreciate being invited into a threesome instead of giving a twenty-three-year-old I'm dating a series of increasingly expensive gifts while periodically telling her how 'nice' I think one of her friends is. Granted, I do prefer having two women instead of a man and a woman, since having another man involved is useless to me, sexually speaking, but regardless."
Liz doesn't know how to respond to that... She ends up muttering, "Yep."
"However, for the most part, I'm thinking of you; after all, you enjoyed yourself thoroughly."
"You already said that. You can't think of something else to say? Like..."
Had a fun night?
That sounds like he took her to Dave & Buster's.
Had a good time?
That sounds like they went to dinner and a movie.
She is already out of euphemisms.
"Something. You're better at thinking of ways to talk about sex."
"I would like to be more diverse in my descriptors, but I doubt you'd appreciate hearing 'climax' or 'multiple orgasms'--"
"Gah. Shut up."
"I was correct. In any case, you did benefit from Carol's fantasy. I believe you might have an exhibitionist streak."
"Yeah, that sounds like me. I'm gonna go show Lutz my boobs right now."
"I said streak, Lemon; I didn't imply you had a desperate need for attention at the level of a Kardashian sister or Lady Gaga."
She laughs, sharp and sudden. "Sorry, you saying Lady Gaga is funny. Anyway... seriously, Jack, I am not an exhibitionist of any type." She stops before she says something like, I enjoyed it because you're good at that stuff or mentions that she enjoyed it more when she ignored the presence of a third party, because both statements could imply... things. Things that aren't really true. Things that just mean she's not an exhibitionist. "I don't need to do that to enjoy, you know, sex. So. Your services will not be needed. But--" She keeps her eyes open. "Thank you. Okay? Thank you."
He smiles at her. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could help."
The moment feels weird... sweet and kind of totally gross, and she's thinking about his mouth being places again, and it was not fair of him to bring this up.
"And that, Jack, is the last time I'm going to ever let you mention any of... what happened."
"Very well."
She looks at him for a moment -- he seems... smug? God, he better hold to never talking about this again or she will smack him... or threaten to smack him, since she's only a hitter when it comes to Kenneth, it seems -- before she gets up to leave.
As she's walking to the door, he says, "If circumstances change--"
"They will not!"
"I believe you."
He sounds like he doesn't.
She doesn't turn around to see if he looks like he doesn't.
END
Prompt: 100_situations #019. Fun
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairings: Jack/Liz/Carol, Jack/Liz, Liz/Carol
Word Count: PG-13
Rating: 1,248
Table: Number Two.
Notes: This may be unsatisfying as a follow-up to porn, but it just popped into my head and, hey, there's nothing wrong with Jack and Liz talking. Also, I'm a bit behind in emails/comments. I will rectify that in the next couple of days.
Summary: "You still haven't thanked me." Follows " The Strangest Thing."
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue!
*
"So that is the story of how I got to meet Duff Goldman from Ace of Cakes," Liz weakly finishes her story, sensing Jack is bored by the anecdote about her Saturday.
(Which is lame because, come on, since when is coming across a famous food artist in Home Depot *not* exciting, especially when she was only in Home Depot to find out if they had a bathroom that's open to the public? That is one in a million stuff.)
His lack of interest is hammered home by the dismissive way he says:
"Fascinating." He motions for her to sit down before he folds his hands on the desk in front of him. "Now, if you don't mind addressing an issue of somewhat more importance--"
Liz flops down on the chair and slouches in defeat. "You're canceling us, right? If you're canceling us, you should have at least pretended to care about my Duff Goldman story."
"You're not being canceled; you still have a good... well, fair to mediocre season or two ahead of you."
She holds a fist up in the air. "Yay! Suck that, ihatetgs at blogspot dot com!"
He exhales. "How many times have I told you not to pay attention to bloggers?"
"Six. But, seriously, he's watching it every week just to complain! He's the jerk, not me--"
He holds his hand up.
She falls silent.
"Thank you." He pauses. "Speaking of which, you still haven't thanked me."
"That's what this is about? I didn't think you were serious." She huffs in annoyance. "Fine. Thank you for allowing TGS to constantly mock Sarah Palin, a fine American and our next president. And she isn't going to be president, by the way. And I'm not going to say the stuff about Obama being a Communist."
"I appreciate that, but I was referring to the night I spent in your apartment a couple of weeks ago."
Liz tenses. "Oh."
"Assisting your relationship--"
She holds her hand up.
Jack falls silent.
Awesome. She didn't know she could pull that move on him.
"Why," she says, "didn't anyone believe me when I said I was *never* going to talk about this?"
"I take it Carol talks about that evening during sex?"
"Yeah." She pauses. Her eyes narrow. "Did he tell you he does?"
"No. But he obviously would want to revisit you acting out his fantasy."
"Obviously," she says, tone mocking.
Probably too mocking, because it does make sense. Though she wasn't expecting it at first.
"In any case, that's not a conversation you need to participate in, and neither is this. I simply want you to acknowledge that I've done something positive for you."
"Okay, fine. Thank you for having sex with me." Her words come out in this irritated rush and she almost wants to apologize. Because she didn't hate it, but... she doesn't want to talk about how she didn't hate it. She has a boyfriend and she only did it for him, and she and Jack should be back to their normal selves. Until this moment, she felt that they have been. Except for a few times when she *remembered* having sex with him, remembered little things like his hand on her thigh, or more explicit things like where his mouth was when his hand was moving up and down her thigh. But thoughts don't affect friendships; this is why she's kept how she feels about Jenna's music career to herself. (And that, unlike Jenna's movie career, is something she is *not* jealous of on any level, so she *knows* 'Muffin Top' is a bad song. She never wanted to sing, so. See? Completely objective.) "Can we *really* never talk about this again starting *now*?"
He laughs, smile lingering. "Lemon, how is it possible you can--"
"I know what I did! So don't say it."
"--participate in such a situation, thoroughly enjoy yourself, and be so uncomfortable with acknowledging it later?"
"Because... I don't know. We're friends. You... helped me out. We should just let it stay in the past. I mean, you don't talk to Carol about it all the time, do you?"
"No." He half-nods, tilts his head. "But he did thank me in advance of the two of us proposing the situation to you."
"That's nice of him, I guess. Okay." She closes her eyes. "Thank you. I appreciate it."
"And, for what it's worth, I would be open to assisting you in the future."
Jack doesn't sound like he's joking.
Her eyes snap open. He doesn't look like he's joking, either. "One time thing, Jack. I made that clear. Why would you want to do it again?"
"Well, on one level, I appreciate being invited into a threesome instead of giving a twenty-three-year-old I'm dating a series of increasingly expensive gifts while periodically telling her how 'nice' I think one of her friends is. Granted, I do prefer having two women instead of a man and a woman, since having another man involved is useless to me, sexually speaking, but regardless."
Liz doesn't know how to respond to that... She ends up muttering, "Yep."
"However, for the most part, I'm thinking of you; after all, you enjoyed yourself thoroughly."
"You already said that. You can't think of something else to say? Like..."
Had a fun night?
That sounds like he took her to Dave & Buster's.
Had a good time?
That sounds like they went to dinner and a movie.
She is already out of euphemisms.
"Something. You're better at thinking of ways to talk about sex."
"I would like to be more diverse in my descriptors, but I doubt you'd appreciate hearing 'climax' or 'multiple orgasms'--"
"Gah. Shut up."
"I was correct. In any case, you did benefit from Carol's fantasy. I believe you might have an exhibitionist streak."
"Yeah, that sounds like me. I'm gonna go show Lutz my boobs right now."
"I said streak, Lemon; I didn't imply you had a desperate need for attention at the level of a Kardashian sister or Lady Gaga."
She laughs, sharp and sudden. "Sorry, you saying Lady Gaga is funny. Anyway... seriously, Jack, I am not an exhibitionist of any type." She stops before she says something like, I enjoyed it because you're good at that stuff or mentions that she enjoyed it more when she ignored the presence of a third party, because both statements could imply... things. Things that aren't really true. Things that just mean she's not an exhibitionist. "I don't need to do that to enjoy, you know, sex. So. Your services will not be needed. But--" She keeps her eyes open. "Thank you. Okay? Thank you."
He smiles at her. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could help."
The moment feels weird... sweet and kind of totally gross, and she's thinking about his mouth being places again, and it was not fair of him to bring this up.
"And that, Jack, is the last time I'm going to ever let you mention any of... what happened."
"Very well."
She looks at him for a moment -- he seems... smug? God, he better hold to never talking about this again or she will smack him... or threaten to smack him, since she's only a hitter when it comes to Kenneth, it seems -- before she gets up to leave.
As she's walking to the door, he says, "If circumstances change--"
"They will not!"
"I believe you."
He sounds like he doesn't.
She doesn't turn around to see if he looks like he doesn't.
END