Bye Dutchess :(
Reminisce ... (a short story, to help get mee sadness out)
It was a shock, Dutchess woke up, and we thought she was going to make it. But in the late afternoon between 5pm-6pm, her little heart gave in and she passed away.
I was so excited to see her. My mother took her to her house, she thought it would be better that Dutchess gets the ultimate care. I hesitantly agreed. I wanted Dutchess back home in my apartment, laying on her favorite spot next to the heater. Where she would so casually lift her head and stare at me then meow, to state her existence besides the TV I would be watching. I had her bed set and ready. One week at my moms, that’s all I have to wait, before my bebe can come home to me. I was fidgeting at work. I wanted to see her. Cory was kind enough to drive me to my mothers and back so I could make a class at 7pm. Cory’s car is the funniest thing in the world. I use to love the smell of it, the cold leather on my tush, the way his muffler would sound like it hit a big rock. His car was souped up. Well in my opinion. He has high standards and his car to him is a POS. Its beautiful though. With such excitement I jumped into the car, the cold leather brought back an all too fond memory. With hope in my hand I called my parents ... no answer ... I called my mothers cell phone ... no answer ... then I called my stepfathers phone.... "Hello" FINAALLY!!! Though in that hello, everything stopped. My ears rang, I knew it, he didn't have to say it, but he did.
"Melissa, Dutchess just died"
I didn't want to cry in front of Cory, my friends aren't supposed to see me sad; they aren't supposed to see me cry. But he did, out of everyone... he did. I tried to hide it. But my eyes cascaded, it all went blue. My body numb. Cory sped to my parent’s house, he was smart enough to stay in the car "no trust me, you really don’t want me to go in". He should know, he had recently lost his pup Maggie. I took his word, and stepped out of the car alone.
I sauntered in to my parents house. My mothers eyes, my mothers eyes …I held her as she cried. They had her in the warm guest room downstairs, she always loved warmth. At night she would often grace me with her presence, and go under the covers and make her way to my belie where she would curl up and prrr. I walked down, step-down, step-down, step-down, stop. I was frightened. I turned in to the room. And there he was taking up all the space in the room, like he always has... Death. It had been about 2 years since I came across him. I was hoping to avoid him for a little longer, but heck, id be fooling myself. Look at her … she was curled up, my bebe. She wasn't completely cold. I touched her tail, her paws, her nose, her ears. Her ears ... Dutchess had a teeny piece of her ear nibbed out. It looked like a mouse bit it. I remember when it happened; she was barely 2 years old and crying under my bed. I pulled her out and saw the blood on the tip of her ear. With cat in arms I ran to the bathroom, and cleaned it out and put a band aide on it. She didn't like that at all, she shook her head and wouldn't stop, she shook so hard she got dizzy and plopped on the floor and started whining. Hah, whata goofball. I caressed her smooth coat; there will never be a cat with a smoother coat, and greener eyes. Well all except the only four Kittens she bore. All beautiful and unique in there own way. That little slut, you know she was in heat so badly she took a running start at the screen window one awfully hot spring night. Run, Jump, Leap. Right through the screen and right out a second floor window.
It wasn’t hard for her to find a mate, the projects were full of stray cats. My sister and I use to feed them by lowering the food down in buckets tied with gimp. Granted we couldn't afford it at all. My sister and I worked illegally so we could help out with the bills, but we took $3 a week to buy the cheapest kittie food at the pet store to feed them. I think it was our generosity that did it, because the top alley cat, chose my girl. But then again, with Dutchesses demeanor, you’d be crazy not to give in to her. She had this way about her, you could never deny her what she wanted, and she probably wanted him. He was a beautiful white cat, with the deepest green eyes, very close to Dutchesses green eyes. You were lucky if you caught a glimpse of him, because he only came out at night. As if the moon came on the ground for stroll, he would shine. He’d illuminate the darkness the moment he stepped right out of the side woods; where during the day, we would often search for the stays hidden layer (which we never found).
Her kittens were beautiful 2 black, 2 white. With distinct markings, boots was all back with what looked like white boots on, Diamond was all black with a white diamond on her forehead. Then there was sweetheart, all white with a grey upside-down heart mark on her forehead, and my favorite cotton beanie, he was all white with a grey “pope” like hat mark on his head. Beautiful, all four of them.
And at that moment when i was saying goodbye to my 14 year old friend, I wished we kept them all. Last touch, last kiss, last tear staining her coat. Deep inhale. Thank you Ductchess for being such a great friend. So many memories, flying through my head. This sadness is none to compare, because she’s the first "pet" I have ever lost, yet so much more. As my fingers touch these keys I see people stare at me, wondering how and why I am so broken up about my bebe. This I cannot articulate. But I can tell you how it feels. It feels as if, I am inside out, vulnerable and weak. I feel like one look from anyone, can deteriorate the iron curtain that once stood. No pride, no passion, just air, just breathing, just thinking.
~Micha~
.
Byebye Dutchess ...
July 4th 1990 - Jan 31st 2005
It was a shock, Dutchess woke up, and we thought she was going to make it. But in the late afternoon between 5pm-6pm, her little heart gave in and she passed away.
I was so excited to see her. My mother took her to her house, she thought it would be better that Dutchess gets the ultimate care. I hesitantly agreed. I wanted Dutchess back home in my apartment, laying on her favorite spot next to the heater. Where she would so casually lift her head and stare at me then meow, to state her existence besides the TV I would be watching. I had her bed set and ready. One week at my moms, that’s all I have to wait, before my bebe can come home to me. I was fidgeting at work. I wanted to see her. Cory was kind enough to drive me to my mothers and back so I could make a class at 7pm. Cory’s car is the funniest thing in the world. I use to love the smell of it, the cold leather on my tush, the way his muffler would sound like it hit a big rock. His car was souped up. Well in my opinion. He has high standards and his car to him is a POS. Its beautiful though. With such excitement I jumped into the car, the cold leather brought back an all too fond memory. With hope in my hand I called my parents ... no answer ... I called my mothers cell phone ... no answer ... then I called my stepfathers phone.... "Hello" FINAALLY!!! Though in that hello, everything stopped. My ears rang, I knew it, he didn't have to say it, but he did.
"Melissa, Dutchess just died"
I didn't want to cry in front of Cory, my friends aren't supposed to see me sad; they aren't supposed to see me cry. But he did, out of everyone... he did. I tried to hide it. But my eyes cascaded, it all went blue. My body numb. Cory sped to my parent’s house, he was smart enough to stay in the car "no trust me, you really don’t want me to go in". He should know, he had recently lost his pup Maggie. I took his word, and stepped out of the car alone.
I sauntered in to my parents house. My mothers eyes, my mothers eyes …I held her as she cried. They had her in the warm guest room downstairs, she always loved warmth. At night she would often grace me with her presence, and go under the covers and make her way to my belie where she would curl up and prrr. I walked down, step-down, step-down, step-down, stop. I was frightened. I turned in to the room. And there he was taking up all the space in the room, like he always has... Death. It had been about 2 years since I came across him. I was hoping to avoid him for a little longer, but heck, id be fooling myself. Look at her … she was curled up, my bebe. She wasn't completely cold. I touched her tail, her paws, her nose, her ears. Her ears ... Dutchess had a teeny piece of her ear nibbed out. It looked like a mouse bit it. I remember when it happened; she was barely 2 years old and crying under my bed. I pulled her out and saw the blood on the tip of her ear. With cat in arms I ran to the bathroom, and cleaned it out and put a band aide on it. She didn't like that at all, she shook her head and wouldn't stop, she shook so hard she got dizzy and plopped on the floor and started whining. Hah, whata goofball. I caressed her smooth coat; there will never be a cat with a smoother coat, and greener eyes. Well all except the only four Kittens she bore. All beautiful and unique in there own way. That little slut, you know she was in heat so badly she took a running start at the screen window one awfully hot spring night. Run, Jump, Leap. Right through the screen and right out a second floor window.
It wasn’t hard for her to find a mate, the projects were full of stray cats. My sister and I use to feed them by lowering the food down in buckets tied with gimp. Granted we couldn't afford it at all. My sister and I worked illegally so we could help out with the bills, but we took $3 a week to buy the cheapest kittie food at the pet store to feed them. I think it was our generosity that did it, because the top alley cat, chose my girl. But then again, with Dutchesses demeanor, you’d be crazy not to give in to her. She had this way about her, you could never deny her what she wanted, and she probably wanted him. He was a beautiful white cat, with the deepest green eyes, very close to Dutchesses green eyes. You were lucky if you caught a glimpse of him, because he only came out at night. As if the moon came on the ground for stroll, he would shine. He’d illuminate the darkness the moment he stepped right out of the side woods; where during the day, we would often search for the stays hidden layer (which we never found).
Her kittens were beautiful 2 black, 2 white. With distinct markings, boots was all back with what looked like white boots on, Diamond was all black with a white diamond on her forehead. Then there was sweetheart, all white with a grey upside-down heart mark on her forehead, and my favorite cotton beanie, he was all white with a grey “pope” like hat mark on his head. Beautiful, all four of them.
And at that moment when i was saying goodbye to my 14 year old friend, I wished we kept them all. Last touch, last kiss, last tear staining her coat. Deep inhale. Thank you Ductchess for being such a great friend. So many memories, flying through my head. This sadness is none to compare, because she’s the first "pet" I have ever lost, yet so much more. As my fingers touch these keys I see people stare at me, wondering how and why I am so broken up about my bebe. This I cannot articulate. But I can tell you how it feels. It feels as if, I am inside out, vulnerable and weak. I feel like one look from anyone, can deteriorate the iron curtain that once stood. No pride, no passion, just air, just breathing, just thinking.
~Micha~
.
Byebye Dutchess ...
July 4th 1990 - Jan 31st 2005