(no subject)
This is the BIG entry ...
I talked to Cory, and I told him everything. He was pretty shocked and I felt bad that I blindsided him like that. He explained to me his side of the break-up. He said how happy he was with me, and all of this wonderful stuff, but there was so much going on. I knew this, and a year ago I didn't want to be that extra thing in his life. Something more to deal with amongst a crap load of issues. Long story short, he's out of my life now. Fuck it hurts writing that. We agreed to be friends again when we wont interfere in one anothers love lives. I get jealous when he dates, he gets jealous when I date. Its better this way. So in turn naturally my body is searching for comfort in another. Here is where Jbase comes in again. I don't know if the feelings I have now are legit or just an after shock. I know that before Cory I liked him, I'm scared I'm going to ruin this right now. OH SHIT did I tell you he's younger than me? Yeeeea thats an issue. He can't want something serious, nevermid as damaged as me. I'll give it time, rebound about who knows for how long. LOL go logistics! Anyways being around him puts a pit in my stomach, I cant really pinpoint why, but I think its because he feels like home and knowing me I am bound to royaly fuck that one up, if I haven't already. I'm going to go a little in depth about him and me now. Well we started hanging out Nov, Dec. Mainly hanging out, then we started messing around. I liked it, and I wanted more. For those who know me well, I usually would mess about once and move on. But him nope, we talk mess about, laugh, chat, mess about some more. Its was great till I pushed him away, thats when Cory and I got close again. It was then I realized, I need to stay away from JBase, atleast until I could sort things out. My guard shot up I tell him we are just friends and about Cory. I was terrible to him. I don't know why, I pushed him away so hard, so far. I hope he's still there when I come around. Fuck me ...
~Micha~
I talked to Cory, and I told him everything. He was pretty shocked and I felt bad that I blindsided him like that. He explained to me his side of the break-up. He said how happy he was with me, and all of this wonderful stuff, but there was so much going on. I knew this, and a year ago I didn't want to be that extra thing in his life. Something more to deal with amongst a crap load of issues. Long story short, he's out of my life now. Fuck it hurts writing that. We agreed to be friends again when we wont interfere in one anothers love lives. I get jealous when he dates, he gets jealous when I date. Its better this way. So in turn naturally my body is searching for comfort in another. Here is where Jbase comes in again. I don't know if the feelings I have now are legit or just an after shock. I know that before Cory I liked him, I'm scared I'm going to ruin this right now. OH SHIT did I tell you he's younger than me? Yeeeea thats an issue. He can't want something serious, nevermid as damaged as me. I'll give it time, rebound about who knows for how long. LOL go logistics! Anyways being around him puts a pit in my stomach, I cant really pinpoint why, but I think its because he feels like home and knowing me I am bound to royaly fuck that one up, if I haven't already. I'm going to go a little in depth about him and me now. Well we started hanging out Nov, Dec. Mainly hanging out, then we started messing around. I liked it, and I wanted more. For those who know me well, I usually would mess about once and move on. But him nope, we talk mess about, laugh, chat, mess about some more. Its was great till I pushed him away, thats when Cory and I got close again. It was then I realized, I need to stay away from JBase, atleast until I could sort things out. My guard shot up I tell him we are just friends and about Cory. I was terrible to him. I don't know why, I pushed him away so hard, so far. I hope he's still there when I come around. Fuck me ...
~Micha~