Not My Fault!
Title: Not My Fault!
Pairing: Kangin/Leeteuk, Hangeng/Heechul, Eunhyuk/Donghae or Donghae/Eunhyuk, whichever ;P
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own the boys. Oh, if I could!
Summary: “If you were a girl, who will you choose as your ideal boyfriend?” - a simple innocent question brought a mess on someone.
****
“Then, the next question to you boys. If you were a girl, who will you choose as your ideal boyfriend?”
Leeteuk sighed under his breath hearing the question. He and members were now at the shooting of a talk show for the promotion of their third comeback. He always got a little nervous when he was put into the occasions where he must pick out someone for some reason among the members. He believed that he had to be always fair on all members as a leader, and the favoritism was the furthest thing from the requirement for a leader. He always wanted to be a good leader.
“I choose Eunhyuk!”
“I choose Donghae!”
While Leeteuk was lost in his thought, the union of two voices blared out aloud through out the studio. The utterers, Donghae and Eunhyuk of course, looked at each other happily.
“Okay, you can be my girl.”
“No, you can be my girl!”
The audience at the set cheered in excitement over the adorable argument of the two boys, proving that EunHae, or HaeHyuk, whichever, was truly a mainstream among fangirls nowadays. Even the lady playing the host of the show was looking at those two lovable boys dreamingly, not exactly conducting her duty as a host.
Breaking the still continuing meaningless exchange of EunHae, Heechul sitting next to Leeteuk stood up and declared arrogantly.
“I choose me, myself! Simply because I’m damn perfect and superb, and I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!”
Then he tossed a kiss to the audience, earning a burst of scream in return. He nodded in satisfaction at the sight of the frenzy he caused. Leeteuk smiled and admired the fact that Heechul always knew how to please the audience.
Waiting for the hysteria to settle down, the host lady picked up her microphone.
“Well, it seems everyone in this studio agree with you, Heechul-ssi. I’m no exception, of course. Then, uh, Leeteuk-ssi, you are the next. Who will be honored to be chosen as your ideal boyfriend?”
Leeteuk wetted his lips and covered the nervousness with his trademark dimple simle before answering the question.
“Well, uh, I think Siwon-ssi will be kind of an ideal boyfriend. He is such a gentleman, and he has that muscles as you can see.”
Leeteuk jokingly pointed at the said man whose perfectly-built arms exposed proudly from the short-sleeved shirt he wore.
Every middle-aged woman in the audience nodded in agreement, dreaming if their daughters could get a boyfriend like Siwon, or if they could get one for themselves. Siwon smiled shyly and bowed to Leeteuk and the ladies, pressing his hands each other, in his normal manner.
Leeteuk caught a slight pout on his younger lover’s face in the corner of his eye but remained facing to the camera with a smile, because he knew Kangin was a professional so he couldn’t be offended seriously just because he was not picked out in a small question in a mere talk show, right?
Leeteuk dared another look at his real boyfriend sitting in the farthest seat from him. Because the management had warned them for their ‘too much intenseness on their fan service thing’, they were placed at the farthest seats today to avoid ‘unnecessarily sensational exchanges’, and it ended up placing Leeteuk between Heechul and Hangeng, for which Leeteuk was sure that HanChul fans would KILL him. He had heard HanChul fans were as crazy as Heechul himself.
So, because Kangin was also there with him when the management gave a warning, he must have been understanding. Besides, the audience had had enough EunHae today so they didn’t need any further couple activities here, right?
Because he was so absorbed in his own thought, Leeteuk was not prepared to hear the comment uttered from the man next to him.
“Leeteuk hyung. I’ll choose Leeteuk hyung.”
It was Hangeng who was replying to the host lady with a soft smile, and Leeteuk was honestly surprised by the answer but also pleased at the same time. He was not representing a manly figure in Super Junior and he knew it, so being picked out as an ideal boyfriend out of other members somehow satisfied his self-esteem as a man. He smiled at the man next to him for thank-you while the host lady asked Hengeng for the reason.
“Because he is cute when he smiles with that dimple, and his slender figure fits right in my arms. My parents back in China also said he will pass as a girl only if he had long hair.”
Sliding his arm around the elder’s waist, Hangeng flashed an innocent smile brightly. Everybody paused for a moment with big question marks popped up on their heads. Host of the show was the first person who recovered from a temporary coma remembering her job.
“Um, Hangeng-ssi, the question is what if YOU were a girl, but I think you answered assuming Leeteuk-ssi were a girl…?”
She smiled awkwardly at Hangeng who finally realized his misunderstanding. He slipped a simple “oh”, while Leeteuk literally jumped out of the embrace, blushing heavily. Then finally everybody burst into a big laughter excepting for a few people who found no fun in there, especially two people whose expressions dramatically changed into rigid ones.
The host lady had to wipe off the tears from her eyes.
“You are so funny, Hangeng-ssi! Well, what do you say to his sudden confession, Leeteuk-ssi? God, he even said you are cute!”
Laughing out again, the host lady asked Leeteuk who was least expecting the question.
“Me!? I don’t know, uh, t-thank you?”
Laughter occurred again, then the subject changed into the next person, to the relief of Leeteuk. It was too early to be relieved, however, because someone, as know as Kim Heechul, grabbed his side violently all of a sudden.
“Ouch!! What is it for!?”
Leeteuk flinched in pain with teary eyes.
“Hah! You even have enough fat to pinch!”, Heechul bitched bitterly, “And how did you get a chance to flirt on his parents!?”
“Please! I haven’t even met them!”, the elder whined, “Why don’t you blame Hangeng, not me!”
“I’m sure I’ll teach that moron a good lesson later, and I’ll leave you to him.”
Smirking almost devilishly, Heechul nodded to Kangin who was glaring his older lover with a death look. Leeteuk shivered in fear.
“But he can’t be mad at me, right? It’s not my fault!”
Leeteuk clung onto Heechul for a positive reply in tears, but the devil simply shrugged him off with a sneer on his face. Leeteuk got into a panic. Then, Eunhyuk squeezed his body into a seat between Heechul and Leeteuk, and spoke to the eldest in muted tone.
“Hyung, I’ll distract Kangin hyung for a while so you’d better run out of this studio as soon as the shooting is over, catch the first taxi to the dorm and lock yourself in your room for a whole night. It’s for your safety, hyung.”
Eunhyuk spoke in a rush without any hint of joke in his eyes, which scared the elder even more.
“Do I have to? I mean, it’s not my fault, right?”
“Don’t you know what you did? 1. You let Hangeng hyung call you cute. 2. You let Hangeng hyung cuddle you. 3. You even thanked Hangeng hyung for what he said and did. Hyung, I think you are so dead.”
Leeteuk risked a glance at his lover, and the apparent fury on the face confirmed Eunhyuk’s words. All blood drained from Leeteuk’s face. Now he looked as pale as the dead, and he obediently nodded to Eunhyuk. He made sure he was wearing a pair of athletic shoes which suited for running, and shot a look at the clock which told him that the show would end in several minutes.
Eunhyuk did his best, for his honor’s sake. He tried to detain Kangin by ‘accidentally’ bumping into Shindong and making human domino led to the target, but Kangin could move much faster than he looked, and there was no way to stop determined Kangin as wild as tornado after all.
Leeteuk dashed out of the studio at moment the shooting was over as planed. As he heard the strained voice of Eunhyuk yelling “Run, hyung, run! He’s after you!!”, however, he panicked and ran around the hallway of the building desperately looking for a safe place to hide. He barely succeeded in locking up himself in a cell of a gentlemen’s toilet just in the time angry Kangin also stormed into the toilet. The younger found the only door closed and stood in front of the door.
“Teukie, I know you’re there. Come out, we need to talk.”
Trying to make his voice sound as calm as possible, which was failing miserably in fact, Kangin talked over the door.
“No! I’m not gonna open this door as long as you’re angry at me!”
Leeteuk whined, standing as far from the door as possible in a tiny cell. He was mentally cursing on Hangeng, Heechul, Eunhyuk and everyone for putting him into this situation. What did I do wrong!?
“I’m NOT fuckin’ angry so GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE NOW!!”
Kangin roared and slammed his fist on the door, hard enough to make the elder jump up.
“You liar!”
Leeteuk cried out like a child.
“Kangin hyung, what’s going on?”
Just then, Siwon accidentally walked into the gentlemen’s and spotted the angry man who was almost breaking the door to a small cell with his fist. Leeteuk overheard the voice of the saviour through the door and cried out aloud for help.
“Siwon-ah! Please! Help me! He’s gonna kill me! Make him go away!!”
Siwon was startled by the desperateness in the elder’s voice, and looked confusedly at the closed door and the man standing before it.
Kangin sneered at the said words and cracked his knuckles threateningly.
“Now you’re pleading to your ideal boyfriend, huh!? Good, I’ll teach your boyfriend how to use muscles in a practical way.”
Leeteuk paled out with those words. He heard the rough footsteps pacing maybe to Siwon who let out “Hyung, what’s this?” in a total confusion, then some more finger pops and the muffled sound of meat meeting meat, followed by the holler of Siwon, fading gradually. Leeteuk pressed one of his ears on the door to get a hint of what kind of horrible scene was taking place outside.
“Siwon-ah? Can you hear me…?”
No answer heard. Only the hushed silence filled the place. Leeteuk tiptoed and spoke over the closed door again.
“Siwon-ah, look, I’m sorry. But it’s not my fault, okay?”
****
Humor? Or maybe Crack? Or Fluff? xD
Pairing: Kangin/Leeteuk, Hangeng/Heechul, Eunhyuk/Donghae or Donghae/Eunhyuk, whichever ;P
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own the boys. Oh, if I could!
Summary: “If you were a girl, who will you choose as your ideal boyfriend?” - a simple innocent question brought a mess on someone.
****
“Then, the next question to you boys. If you were a girl, who will you choose as your ideal boyfriend?”
Leeteuk sighed under his breath hearing the question. He and members were now at the shooting of a talk show for the promotion of their third comeback. He always got a little nervous when he was put into the occasions where he must pick out someone for some reason among the members. He believed that he had to be always fair on all members as a leader, and the favoritism was the furthest thing from the requirement for a leader. He always wanted to be a good leader.
“I choose Eunhyuk!”
“I choose Donghae!”
While Leeteuk was lost in his thought, the union of two voices blared out aloud through out the studio. The utterers, Donghae and Eunhyuk of course, looked at each other happily.
“Okay, you can be my girl.”
“No, you can be my girl!”
The audience at the set cheered in excitement over the adorable argument of the two boys, proving that EunHae, or HaeHyuk, whichever, was truly a mainstream among fangirls nowadays. Even the lady playing the host of the show was looking at those two lovable boys dreamingly, not exactly conducting her duty as a host.
Breaking the still continuing meaningless exchange of EunHae, Heechul sitting next to Leeteuk stood up and declared arrogantly.
“I choose me, myself! Simply because I’m damn perfect and superb, and I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!”
Then he tossed a kiss to the audience, earning a burst of scream in return. He nodded in satisfaction at the sight of the frenzy he caused. Leeteuk smiled and admired the fact that Heechul always knew how to please the audience.
Waiting for the hysteria to settle down, the host lady picked up her microphone.
“Well, it seems everyone in this studio agree with you, Heechul-ssi. I’m no exception, of course. Then, uh, Leeteuk-ssi, you are the next. Who will be honored to be chosen as your ideal boyfriend?”
Leeteuk wetted his lips and covered the nervousness with his trademark dimple simle before answering the question.
“Well, uh, I think Siwon-ssi will be kind of an ideal boyfriend. He is such a gentleman, and he has that muscles as you can see.”
Leeteuk jokingly pointed at the said man whose perfectly-built arms exposed proudly from the short-sleeved shirt he wore.
Every middle-aged woman in the audience nodded in agreement, dreaming if their daughters could get a boyfriend like Siwon, or if they could get one for themselves. Siwon smiled shyly and bowed to Leeteuk and the ladies, pressing his hands each other, in his normal manner.
Leeteuk caught a slight pout on his younger lover’s face in the corner of his eye but remained facing to the camera with a smile, because he knew Kangin was a professional so he couldn’t be offended seriously just because he was not picked out in a small question in a mere talk show, right?
Leeteuk dared another look at his real boyfriend sitting in the farthest seat from him. Because the management had warned them for their ‘too much intenseness on their fan service thing’, they were placed at the farthest seats today to avoid ‘unnecessarily sensational exchanges’, and it ended up placing Leeteuk between Heechul and Hangeng, for which Leeteuk was sure that HanChul fans would KILL him. He had heard HanChul fans were as crazy as Heechul himself.
So, because Kangin was also there with him when the management gave a warning, he must have been understanding. Besides, the audience had had enough EunHae today so they didn’t need any further couple activities here, right?
Because he was so absorbed in his own thought, Leeteuk was not prepared to hear the comment uttered from the man next to him.
“Leeteuk hyung. I’ll choose Leeteuk hyung.”
It was Hangeng who was replying to the host lady with a soft smile, and Leeteuk was honestly surprised by the answer but also pleased at the same time. He was not representing a manly figure in Super Junior and he knew it, so being picked out as an ideal boyfriend out of other members somehow satisfied his self-esteem as a man. He smiled at the man next to him for thank-you while the host lady asked Hengeng for the reason.
“Because he is cute when he smiles with that dimple, and his slender figure fits right in my arms. My parents back in China also said he will pass as a girl only if he had long hair.”
Sliding his arm around the elder’s waist, Hangeng flashed an innocent smile brightly. Everybody paused for a moment with big question marks popped up on their heads. Host of the show was the first person who recovered from a temporary coma remembering her job.
“Um, Hangeng-ssi, the question is what if YOU were a girl, but I think you answered assuming Leeteuk-ssi were a girl…?”
She smiled awkwardly at Hangeng who finally realized his misunderstanding. He slipped a simple “oh”, while Leeteuk literally jumped out of the embrace, blushing heavily. Then finally everybody burst into a big laughter excepting for a few people who found no fun in there, especially two people whose expressions dramatically changed into rigid ones.
The host lady had to wipe off the tears from her eyes.
“You are so funny, Hangeng-ssi! Well, what do you say to his sudden confession, Leeteuk-ssi? God, he even said you are cute!”
Laughing out again, the host lady asked Leeteuk who was least expecting the question.
“Me!? I don’t know, uh, t-thank you?”
Laughter occurred again, then the subject changed into the next person, to the relief of Leeteuk. It was too early to be relieved, however, because someone, as know as Kim Heechul, grabbed his side violently all of a sudden.
“Ouch!! What is it for!?”
Leeteuk flinched in pain with teary eyes.
“Hah! You even have enough fat to pinch!”, Heechul bitched bitterly, “And how did you get a chance to flirt on his parents!?”
“Please! I haven’t even met them!”, the elder whined, “Why don’t you blame Hangeng, not me!”
“I’m sure I’ll teach that moron a good lesson later, and I’ll leave you to him.”
Smirking almost devilishly, Heechul nodded to Kangin who was glaring his older lover with a death look. Leeteuk shivered in fear.
“But he can’t be mad at me, right? It’s not my fault!”
Leeteuk clung onto Heechul for a positive reply in tears, but the devil simply shrugged him off with a sneer on his face. Leeteuk got into a panic. Then, Eunhyuk squeezed his body into a seat between Heechul and Leeteuk, and spoke to the eldest in muted tone.
“Hyung, I’ll distract Kangin hyung for a while so you’d better run out of this studio as soon as the shooting is over, catch the first taxi to the dorm and lock yourself in your room for a whole night. It’s for your safety, hyung.”
Eunhyuk spoke in a rush without any hint of joke in his eyes, which scared the elder even more.
“Do I have to? I mean, it’s not my fault, right?”
“Don’t you know what you did? 1. You let Hangeng hyung call you cute. 2. You let Hangeng hyung cuddle you. 3. You even thanked Hangeng hyung for what he said and did. Hyung, I think you are so dead.”
Leeteuk risked a glance at his lover, and the apparent fury on the face confirmed Eunhyuk’s words. All blood drained from Leeteuk’s face. Now he looked as pale as the dead, and he obediently nodded to Eunhyuk. He made sure he was wearing a pair of athletic shoes which suited for running, and shot a look at the clock which told him that the show would end in several minutes.
Eunhyuk did his best, for his honor’s sake. He tried to detain Kangin by ‘accidentally’ bumping into Shindong and making human domino led to the target, but Kangin could move much faster than he looked, and there was no way to stop determined Kangin as wild as tornado after all.
Leeteuk dashed out of the studio at moment the shooting was over as planed. As he heard the strained voice of Eunhyuk yelling “Run, hyung, run! He’s after you!!”, however, he panicked and ran around the hallway of the building desperately looking for a safe place to hide. He barely succeeded in locking up himself in a cell of a gentlemen’s toilet just in the time angry Kangin also stormed into the toilet. The younger found the only door closed and stood in front of the door.
“Teukie, I know you’re there. Come out, we need to talk.”
Trying to make his voice sound as calm as possible, which was failing miserably in fact, Kangin talked over the door.
“No! I’m not gonna open this door as long as you’re angry at me!”
Leeteuk whined, standing as far from the door as possible in a tiny cell. He was mentally cursing on Hangeng, Heechul, Eunhyuk and everyone for putting him into this situation. What did I do wrong!?
“I’m NOT fuckin’ angry so GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE NOW!!”
Kangin roared and slammed his fist on the door, hard enough to make the elder jump up.
“You liar!”
Leeteuk cried out like a child.
“Kangin hyung, what’s going on?”
Just then, Siwon accidentally walked into the gentlemen’s and spotted the angry man who was almost breaking the door to a small cell with his fist. Leeteuk overheard the voice of the saviour through the door and cried out aloud for help.
“Siwon-ah! Please! Help me! He’s gonna kill me! Make him go away!!”
Siwon was startled by the desperateness in the elder’s voice, and looked confusedly at the closed door and the man standing before it.
Kangin sneered at the said words and cracked his knuckles threateningly.
“Now you’re pleading to your ideal boyfriend, huh!? Good, I’ll teach your boyfriend how to use muscles in a practical way.”
Leeteuk paled out with those words. He heard the rough footsteps pacing maybe to Siwon who let out “Hyung, what’s this?” in a total confusion, then some more finger pops and the muffled sound of meat meeting meat, followed by the holler of Siwon, fading gradually. Leeteuk pressed one of his ears on the door to get a hint of what kind of horrible scene was taking place outside.
“Siwon-ah? Can you hear me…?”
No answer heard. Only the hushed silence filled the place. Leeteuk tiptoed and spoke over the closed door again.
“Siwon-ah, look, I’m sorry. But it’s not my fault, okay?”
****
Humor? Or maybe Crack? Or Fluff? xD