Where I’m Calling From
Title: Where I’m Calling From
Pairing: Hangeng/Heechul, Kangin/Leeteuk
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, only the plot.
Summary: Hangeng visits the dorm after the announcement of his lawsuit.
Warning: Mention of Hangeng’s lawsuit and Kangin’s suspension.
****
It was an ordinary day excepting for the fact that Hangeng was to come to the dorm to pick up his properties which had been left untouched since he had announced the trial against the company a month ago.
This past one month was like a silent hurricane for Heechul and everyone. All members were shocked, confused and hurt. But none of them showed the panic openly because Heechul and Leeteuk kept the silence. It had been only a few months since Kangin had caused the second accident and been suspended from all the Super Junior activities. Members were still strictly prohibited to contact to him until the management officially settle the punishment on him, and everyone could see Leeteuk had lost weights in this past few months. It was no wonder that Hangeng’s sudden contract trial added another pain to his already worn-out heart.
As for Heechul, he was still not sure if he was angry, shocked or hurt. Maybe all, maybe none. Everytime he tried to figure out his own feelings, the voice of Hangeng calling his name sounded in his head and made it unable to think further. Everybody was scared of his strange quietness and treated him like a silent bomb, which he found funny.
The date of Hangeng’s visit was fixed, and unfortunately or not, most members’ schedule were already taken excepting for a few people. Heechul tried neither to clear nor fill the schedule for this day. He decided to go with the flow and follow his destiny, then he ended up waiting for Hangeng’s arrival in the dorm right now. He thought maybe the fate was tricking him in an ironical way.
Leeteuk was also one of those members whose schedule was clear, but he left the dorm in this early morning without telling anything to anyone. Heechul couldn’t blame the elder for it, because he could understand how hard the current situation was for Leeteuk as the leader of the group. Heechul wished if Kangin had been here for Leeteuk now. If Kangin was here, he would have showed the anger toward Hangeng instead of his lover who always suppressed his own emotion out of the responsibility as the leader, and gave the hurt leader his shoulders to cry.
And if Kangin was here, he would have been brave enough to demand the reason of the action from Hangeng, which Heechul could never bring himself to. Heechul had repeated hundreds of WHYs in his head for this past one month, but he could have never thought of the sufficient answer.
Heechul heard the short ring at the front door and someone came in without waiting for the answer. By the sound of taking off shoes and the footsteps followed, he could tell it was Hangeng. Heechul walked into the living room and found Sungmin and Ryeowook there on the couch. They were the only persons who were staying here today with Heechul, and both of their faces looked tensed and worried.
Ryeowook was the first one who reacted when Hangeng showed up at the doorway of the living room.
“Hangeng hyung…”
Ryeowook stood up from the couch and murmured, but soon his throat was stuck with sobs and he hid his face into the hug Sungmin offered. Hangeng looked at his dongsaeng crying sadly without a word.
“Come on, let’s go to your room.”
Sungmin supported Ryeowook and helped him walk out of the room. On the way, he gave Heechul an understanding look, his eyes were also teary. Not knowing what to say to it, Heechul just nodded to him and watched the dongsaengs leaving.
“Yo.”
Waiting the door closed behind him, Heechul uttered abruptly. He hated being awkward, he hated waiting and worrying.
“Hey.”
Hangeng replied with a small smile. He was carrying a ridiculously large suitcase, and Heechul laughed at it in spite of the situation.
“Let’s go.”
“To where?”, Hangeng asked.
“To your room. You’ve come here for that, idiot.”
Heechul bitched and turned on his heels toward Hangeng’s room without waiting for the reply, but he could hear Hangeng gave a short laugh at his usual rudeness. Heechul suddenly realized he had been missing this laughter so much, and he clenched his fists tightly to keep his composure.
Once in Hangeng’s room, Heechul lost in what to say and just stood at a corner of the room, watching Hangeng opened the suitcase on the floor and started tossing his belongings into there. There was not actually many to pack, because Hangeng had already brought out most of his stuffs just before he had revealed the lawsuit and left to China. There were only some books and clothes left in his space, and those all seemed insignificant and replaceable. Still he came here all the way to pick those things. Heechul wanted to believe Hangeng had not come for worn-out t-shirts but for something else. Something connected to him and their relationship.
Hangeng took extraordinary long time to pack each stuff, but soon he ran out of things to do. Afraid of the silence falling, Heechul sneaked through Hangeng’s side jokingly and jumped in the suitcase.
“Pack me in this suitcase and bring me to China!”
Heechul laughed arrogantly and curled up in the suitcase, like he had done the same back in the day Hangeng was packing for his temporal homecoming when they were shooting the TV program. It was just a few years ago, but it felt like decades ago now. Heechul had never imagined Hangeng would leave like this at that time. He had never doubted his future, their future together. Maybe that had been the so-called happiness, though he had not known it at that time.
Hangeng didn’t come to hit Heechul or throw him out of the suitcase. He just smiled weakly and averted his eyes, and the confusion on his face made Heechul’s heart ache more than anything. It was like telling him that they would never be the way they had been before again.
“…I’m just kidding. Ya, laugh.”
Heechul stepped out of the suitcase and forced a smile. Hangeng walked to the suitcase without a word and shut it. The sound hollowed aloud in the small room, making Heechul flinch a little.
“I’m going now”, Hangeng stood up and declared quietly. “Take care of yourself, you get a cold easily in this time of season, you know.” He smiled a little and touched the doorknob.
Is that all? Is this a goodbye?
Heechul’s body went cold suddenly. He didn’t know it might be anger or fear consuming him from inside. It was not a TV drama. Hangeng was leaving actually.
“So you’re just leaving now?”
“You have your life, and I have mine. That’s all what this about.”
Yeah, but I thought those could be OUR lives.
Heechul couldn’t utter any more words. He just stood there, eyes intensely on Hangeng’s back disappearing into the other side of the door.
Hangeng had left, leaving Heechul behind with the hundreds of unanswered WHYs.
Hangeng had been incomprehensible all time, after all. He was different from anyone. He didn’t talk much. He didn’t put jokes. He was not scared of Heechul unlike other people. He was stubborn always. He was insensitive sometimes. He didn’t speak Korean well. He preferred dogs over cats.
Heechul could think of thousands more reasons to forget Hangeng, but the only one reason prevented him.
He loved Hangeng.
“Is he gone?”
It was Leeteuk who opened the door. Heechul had been losing the sense of time, so he was not sure if it was still the same day Hangeng had left or the years had past leaving only him at the same place all alone.
“I’m sorry I left you here. I just couldn’t bear this…”
Leeteuk rubbed his swollen eyes where the new tears were already starting to pool.
“Don’t be. Maybe I needed this. To see him gone”, Heechul answered in unemotional voice.
Leeteuk hugged Heechul tightly and started to cry. His body was cold like a stone, and it told Heechul that Leeteuk must have been wandering outside, having nowhere to go. Heechul wanted to hug him back, but his body was strangely numb and unable to move even a finger, so he just stood still there.
Heechul stared vacantly at the closed door Hangeng had left, then he noticed Hangeng hadn’t touched him even once. He was trying to remember the last time he could feel the warmth of his lost love, while the senses were coming back to his numbed body and wetting the cheeks with his own tears.
****
Pairing: Hangeng/Heechul, Kangin/Leeteuk
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, only the plot.
Summary: Hangeng visits the dorm after the announcement of his lawsuit.
Warning: Mention of Hangeng’s lawsuit and Kangin’s suspension.
****
It was an ordinary day excepting for the fact that Hangeng was to come to the dorm to pick up his properties which had been left untouched since he had announced the trial against the company a month ago.
This past one month was like a silent hurricane for Heechul and everyone. All members were shocked, confused and hurt. But none of them showed the panic openly because Heechul and Leeteuk kept the silence. It had been only a few months since Kangin had caused the second accident and been suspended from all the Super Junior activities. Members were still strictly prohibited to contact to him until the management officially settle the punishment on him, and everyone could see Leeteuk had lost weights in this past few months. It was no wonder that Hangeng’s sudden contract trial added another pain to his already worn-out heart.
As for Heechul, he was still not sure if he was angry, shocked or hurt. Maybe all, maybe none. Everytime he tried to figure out his own feelings, the voice of Hangeng calling his name sounded in his head and made it unable to think further. Everybody was scared of his strange quietness and treated him like a silent bomb, which he found funny.
The date of Hangeng’s visit was fixed, and unfortunately or not, most members’ schedule were already taken excepting for a few people. Heechul tried neither to clear nor fill the schedule for this day. He decided to go with the flow and follow his destiny, then he ended up waiting for Hangeng’s arrival in the dorm right now. He thought maybe the fate was tricking him in an ironical way.
Leeteuk was also one of those members whose schedule was clear, but he left the dorm in this early morning without telling anything to anyone. Heechul couldn’t blame the elder for it, because he could understand how hard the current situation was for Leeteuk as the leader of the group. Heechul wished if Kangin had been here for Leeteuk now. If Kangin was here, he would have showed the anger toward Hangeng instead of his lover who always suppressed his own emotion out of the responsibility as the leader, and gave the hurt leader his shoulders to cry.
And if Kangin was here, he would have been brave enough to demand the reason of the action from Hangeng, which Heechul could never bring himself to. Heechul had repeated hundreds of WHYs in his head for this past one month, but he could have never thought of the sufficient answer.
Heechul heard the short ring at the front door and someone came in without waiting for the answer. By the sound of taking off shoes and the footsteps followed, he could tell it was Hangeng. Heechul walked into the living room and found Sungmin and Ryeowook there on the couch. They were the only persons who were staying here today with Heechul, and both of their faces looked tensed and worried.
Ryeowook was the first one who reacted when Hangeng showed up at the doorway of the living room.
“Hangeng hyung…”
Ryeowook stood up from the couch and murmured, but soon his throat was stuck with sobs and he hid his face into the hug Sungmin offered. Hangeng looked at his dongsaeng crying sadly without a word.
“Come on, let’s go to your room.”
Sungmin supported Ryeowook and helped him walk out of the room. On the way, he gave Heechul an understanding look, his eyes were also teary. Not knowing what to say to it, Heechul just nodded to him and watched the dongsaengs leaving.
“Yo.”
Waiting the door closed behind him, Heechul uttered abruptly. He hated being awkward, he hated waiting and worrying.
“Hey.”
Hangeng replied with a small smile. He was carrying a ridiculously large suitcase, and Heechul laughed at it in spite of the situation.
“Let’s go.”
“To where?”, Hangeng asked.
“To your room. You’ve come here for that, idiot.”
Heechul bitched and turned on his heels toward Hangeng’s room without waiting for the reply, but he could hear Hangeng gave a short laugh at his usual rudeness. Heechul suddenly realized he had been missing this laughter so much, and he clenched his fists tightly to keep his composure.
Once in Hangeng’s room, Heechul lost in what to say and just stood at a corner of the room, watching Hangeng opened the suitcase on the floor and started tossing his belongings into there. There was not actually many to pack, because Hangeng had already brought out most of his stuffs just before he had revealed the lawsuit and left to China. There were only some books and clothes left in his space, and those all seemed insignificant and replaceable. Still he came here all the way to pick those things. Heechul wanted to believe Hangeng had not come for worn-out t-shirts but for something else. Something connected to him and their relationship.
Hangeng took extraordinary long time to pack each stuff, but soon he ran out of things to do. Afraid of the silence falling, Heechul sneaked through Hangeng’s side jokingly and jumped in the suitcase.
“Pack me in this suitcase and bring me to China!”
Heechul laughed arrogantly and curled up in the suitcase, like he had done the same back in the day Hangeng was packing for his temporal homecoming when they were shooting the TV program. It was just a few years ago, but it felt like decades ago now. Heechul had never imagined Hangeng would leave like this at that time. He had never doubted his future, their future together. Maybe that had been the so-called happiness, though he had not known it at that time.
Hangeng didn’t come to hit Heechul or throw him out of the suitcase. He just smiled weakly and averted his eyes, and the confusion on his face made Heechul’s heart ache more than anything. It was like telling him that they would never be the way they had been before again.
“…I’m just kidding. Ya, laugh.”
Heechul stepped out of the suitcase and forced a smile. Hangeng walked to the suitcase without a word and shut it. The sound hollowed aloud in the small room, making Heechul flinch a little.
“I’m going now”, Hangeng stood up and declared quietly. “Take care of yourself, you get a cold easily in this time of season, you know.” He smiled a little and touched the doorknob.
Is that all? Is this a goodbye?
Heechul’s body went cold suddenly. He didn’t know it might be anger or fear consuming him from inside. It was not a TV drama. Hangeng was leaving actually.
“So you’re just leaving now?”
“You have your life, and I have mine. That’s all what this about.”
Yeah, but I thought those could be OUR lives.
Heechul couldn’t utter any more words. He just stood there, eyes intensely on Hangeng’s back disappearing into the other side of the door.
Hangeng had left, leaving Heechul behind with the hundreds of unanswered WHYs.
Hangeng had been incomprehensible all time, after all. He was different from anyone. He didn’t talk much. He didn’t put jokes. He was not scared of Heechul unlike other people. He was stubborn always. He was insensitive sometimes. He didn’t speak Korean well. He preferred dogs over cats.
Heechul could think of thousands more reasons to forget Hangeng, but the only one reason prevented him.
He loved Hangeng.
“Is he gone?”
It was Leeteuk who opened the door. Heechul had been losing the sense of time, so he was not sure if it was still the same day Hangeng had left or the years had past leaving only him at the same place all alone.
“I’m sorry I left you here. I just couldn’t bear this…”
Leeteuk rubbed his swollen eyes where the new tears were already starting to pool.
“Don’t be. Maybe I needed this. To see him gone”, Heechul answered in unemotional voice.
Leeteuk hugged Heechul tightly and started to cry. His body was cold like a stone, and it told Heechul that Leeteuk must have been wandering outside, having nowhere to go. Heechul wanted to hug him back, but his body was strangely numb and unable to move even a finger, so he just stood still there.
Heechul stared vacantly at the closed door Hangeng had left, then he noticed Hangeng hadn’t touched him even once. He was trying to remember the last time he could feel the warmth of his lost love, while the senses were coming back to his numbed body and wetting the cheeks with his own tears.
****