WPFAAT
Here you go, guys!
“What’s going on?” Jack demanded as soon as Ennis hung up with Bobby. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t really know,” Ennis tried to sound soothing, but he was too worried for it to work. “He just said he wanted to come home. He didn’t really say why. Just said he was homesick and sick of Lureen and L.D.”
“Of course he’s sick of L.D.” Jack snapped, taking his worry out on Ennis. Ennis, unperturbed, was used to this by now. Junior glanced back and forth between them. Part of her wanted to think of something to say and part of her wanted to leave. The part that wanted to leave was louder and more insistent, but somehow the other part won.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” She said reassuringly. Both men started, like they’d forgotten she was even there. “He’s tough.”
“Yeah, but you don’t know L.D…” Jack trailed off, hands moving to his hips as he started to pace. “Maybe I should call.”
“Nah, he said he’ll call back after they talk.”
Jack ran a hand through his hair, making the back stick straight up. “Fine.” He muttered. “I’ll give it an hour, and then I’m calling.” Ennis nodded, because he was thinking the exact same thing. He didn’t want to get Jack any more riled up than he already was, so he didn’t mention how worried he was, how upset Bobby had sounded or how pissed Lureen had sounded in the background. But his worry must’ve been showing in his eyes, because Jack bit his lip.
“Do you think something bad’s happening?” He asked solemnly, sounding much younger than he was. Ennis shrugged.
“Hope not.” He said, sounding desperate and worried.
“Forty-five minutes, ‘stead of an hour?”
“Sounds good.” Ennis agreed.
Bobby knew he was supposed to call home, but he was suddenly exhausted. He was curled into a ball on the bed in the guest room, wondering distantly if it would’ve been his had he known his mother his whole life, and soon fell into an uneasy sleep. When he woke up to the sound of Lureen shouting at someone, it was dark outside. He rubbed his eyes, his hip stabbing painfully from sleeping in the fetal position. How did babies do that for nine months? It was not comfortable.
He moved quietly to the stairs, which he’d already learned in the short time he’d been there was the best place for eavesdropping.
“Because!” Lureen was shouting. “He’s my son, too!” Bobby got that uncomfortable feeling he always got when he’d stumbled into a conversation about himself. “He was insulting my daddy!” She added indignantly. After a minute, she said angrily, “Oh, very mature, Jack. Try to act at least twenty-five, could you?”
Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course Jack had called her. That’s what he did-he worried and he bitched and then he called and complained. Bobby should’ve called home. But it also gave him a little swell of warmth in his chest. His daddy was always his fiercest protector. He gathered up all his courage and made himself walk down the stairs. He didn’t have enough courage to look Lureen in the eye, though; not yet. He held out his hand, looking at the floor, and requested the phone.
“Here he is. He wants to talk to you.” Lureen suddenly wasn’t yelling anymore; she was wary, just like Bobby. She must’ve decided he needed privacy, or maybe she was just being a chicken; either way, she beat a quick retreat. Bobby heard her bedroom door close.
“Daddy?”
“Bobby! What the hell’s going on out there? Do I need to come get you?”
It was tempting. It was so tempting. Bobby sighed into the phone. “I don’t know.”
“What happened?” Jack asked, quieter, gentler.
“I…” Bobby tried to unstick his throat. “L.D. was saying shit. Shit ‘bout you, and ‘bout Ennis.”
“He ain’t never met Ennis-he got no right to say anything!”
“I know, Daddy, and I told him that.” Bobby’s voice was flat, tired. It scared Jack. Bobby didn’t get unemotional like that. He was always a firecracker. “I started yelling at him, and…” He hesitated, unsure what he was supposed to call Lureen. “…she got mad.”
“Lureen?”
“Uh huh. She got mad and started yelling at me and I yelled back and then…” Bobby sighed again, sinking into a stiff-backed chair. “Well, we got to talking ‘bout why she didn’t want me ‘round.”
“Oh, boy,” Jack murmured. Ennis’s head snapped up from where he’d been unsuccessfully trying to read the paper. He kept looking up at every word Jack said, so he looked like one of those birds people put on their desks, the ones that bobbed into a glass of water or whatever it was. He was starting to get a crick in his neck. Unable to sit and listen to Jack’s side of the conversation any longer, Ennis did the hovering routine he so loathed when Jack did it to him. Jack moved the phone so Ennis could hear, too, and they ended up with their heads squished together, the phone somewhere in the middle.
“Yeah.” Bobby didn’t know what to say.
“So, um…” Jack licked his lips. “What’d she say?”
“She said it would’ve been too hard to keep me around.”
“What the hell kinda thing is that to say to you?” Ennis burst out angrily. Bobby wasn’t even surprised that he was listening in. He didn’t have an answer, though.
“Maybe we oughta go out there.” Jack said to Ennis.
“Maybe we oughta just talk to her.” Ennis suggested. They realized at the same moment how ridiculous they were being-they were talking over the phone to each other, even though they were sharing the same receiver.
“Bob.” Jack said seriously. “I’ll get in the truck right now and come get you, if that’s what you want.”
“That what you need?” Ennis chimed in.
“I don’t…I don’t know.” Bobby felt like his head was full of mud. He was so tired; he couldn’t think. All three men were quiet a moment.
“You want to sleep on it?” Jack asked.
“I want to sleep, that’s for sure.”
“Okay. Sleep on it, rest up, maybe talk some more to Lureen? Then call in the morning?”
“Okay.” Bobby agreed automatically.
“And don’t you forget to call back this time.” Ennis growled without any real heat. “Near drove your daddy crazy.”
“Oh, just me, huh?” Jack shot back. “You’ve been in the kitchen for the last hour because you wanted to read the paper you already read front to back?”
“Sure.” Ennis sniffed haughtily.
“I’m going to bed now.” Bobby interrupted their good-natured bickering. It was seven P.M.
“Put your mama back on the phone.” Jack commanded. “I wasn’t done talking to her.”
“I’d like to talk to her.” Ennis muttered darkly, though they all knew he’d never do such a thing.
“Okay.”
“Love you, Bobby.” Jack said.
“Love you, too, Daddy. You too, Ennis.”
“Mm.”
He set the phone on the table.
“I’m worried about him.” Jack said. They were still sharing the phone.
“Me too.” Ennis admitted.
“What do you think we should do?”
“Hm…well-”
“Hello?”
They both jumped away from the phone, so it ended up crashing to the ground. Jack swore and picked it up quickly. Ennis went back to his chair.
“Lureen?”
“Yeah.” She responded dryly. Jack forced out a little chuckle that hurt his throat. He could feel himself gearing up to yell.
“So, is it too hard for you to have Bobby there with you?” He tried to control his voice. “Should I come get him?”
Lureen sighed wearily. “Jack, I told him the truth. He’s almost seventeen years old. He deserves it.”
“Eighteen!” Jack shouted, unable to keep a lid on it, this being the second time in less than two weeks that he’d had to remind her how old her own son was. “He’s almost eighteen!” He heard Ennis start his angry muttering from over at the table, indistinct but for a few words here and there-mostly things like “bitch” and “don’t know her own son” and even “oughta go get him.” He rustled the paper so angrily the sports page ripped.
“Right, right.” She said distractedly. “I just…I thought I owed it to him. To tell him, I mean.” She swallowed hard. “He’s a good kid, Jack.”
“He ain’t a kid, Lureen. He’s practically a man now.”
“Sure. But you did a good job, is what I’m saying.”
“Well…” That threw Jack for a loop. “Um…thank you.”
They were both quiet. “I’d like some more time with him.” She finally said, so quiet Jack almost couldn’t hear her. “If he wants to stay…well, I’d really like him to stay. Can’t blame him if he don’t want to.”
Jack licked his lips. Lureen sounded so down, and, after all, they’d been really good friends…
“I don’t think he wants to leave just yet.” He reassured her, a little grudgingly. “He said he’s gonna sleep on it.”
“Right.”
“Why don’t you go on and get some sleep, too? A little rest’d do you both some good.”
“Yeah. Okay. Night, Jack.”
“Night, Lureen. I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon.”
She didn’t say anything else, just hung up. Jack hung up and buried his face in his hands, sinking down into a chair next to Ennis. He blew out a frustrated breath against his fingers. He felt the strong warmth of Ennis’s hand on his neck, rubbing gently.
“It’ll be okay, darlin,” he said softly. Junior poked her head around the corner. She desperately wanted to know if Bobby was okay. She’d heard lots of shouting and lots of low, worried murmuring, and it was making a sort of dull panic flare up in her throat. She’d been having a slew of nightmares lately involving Bobby getting hurt. She retreated as soon as she saw Ennis rubbing Jack’s neck and Jack looking so helpless. She hurried back to her room when she heard the sound of lips meeting.
“So…you still don’t know what’s going on?” Kurt asked the next day. He’d come over to hang out and they’d walked out to a little duck pond Bobby used to love when he was a little boy. Junior told him everything she knew.
“No. I was too scared to ask either of ‘em this morning.” She admitted sheepishly. “I know they’d tell me, but I just…I feel bad making them worry about it more than they have to.”
“Um, hello, Junior? They’d feel bad if they realized how much you were worrying about it.”
She shrugged noncommittally, looking so much like Ennis it made Kurt chuckle a little.
“What?” Junior asked, a little smile threatening to pop up. Kurt bumped his shoulder gently into hers.
“Nothing.”
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes at him and went back to fretting. “I feel like I shouldn’t have left the house.” She confided. “He’s supposed to call back sometime today and tell them if he’s coming home or not. I’m just…Kurt, I’m real worried. What if it’s something real bad? What if he’s sick or something? Maybe he caught something at the hospital while he was visiting his granddaddy. Or maybe he got hurt.” The last thought was a murmur, because she didn’t want to admit how scared she was of this happening. It’d haunted her dreams again last night. Kurt looked over at her with shrewd eyes.
“You’re extra worried about him being hurt.” It wasn’t a question, so she felt no need to respond. “Junior, he’s fine. They’d a told you if something like that’d happened. Or you’d know, ‘cause Jack’d be freaking out.”
“Mm.”
“You want to go back?” Kurt asked. She bit her lip, debating. Kurt rolled his eyes at her. “Come on.” He said, leading the way.
She opened the door quietly, glancing back at Kurt. He gave her a little nod. She licked her lips and made her way to the kitchen, where Jack and Ennis were both hovering, talking in would-be casual voices.
“Hey, kids.” Jack put on his automatic smile.
“Hey.” Kurt grinned back.
“Bobby called?” Junior asked nonchalantly. Ennis tensed up and Jack sighed.
“Not yet.” He said quietly. Then he gave Junior a closer look. “Hey.” He sounded surprised. “We didn’t explain anything to you.” She shrugged like it didn’t matter.
“You worried?” Ennis asked. She shrugged again.
“She’s been going crazy.” Kurt ratted her out. Regret twisted Ennis’s face and Junior shot Kurt an angry glare. He shrugged apologetically.
“Aw, shit.” Jack rubbed a hand down his face. “Just got kind of swept up. I’m sorry, Junior.”
“No, it’s okay. I understand. You guys have a lot on your minds.”
“See, Bobby and his mama had a long talk about, um…about why Lureen hasn’t been around. It was just kind of hard for him to hear.”
“Oh…” Junior felt her face crumple into a sympathetic look meant for Bobby, all the way out in Texas. “Is he okay?”
“He sounded fine.” Ennis lied before Jack could tell her the truth. He didn’t want her to worry any more than she already was. Jack shot him a quick sideways look but didn’t say anything. Junior pressed her lips together, not really believing him. Before anyone could say anything, the phone rang. Jack lunged for it immediately, Ennis literally on his heels so that they almost fell to the ground.
“Hello?” Jack finally answered it breathlessly.
“Hey, Daddy.”
“Bobby!” Ennis cried.
Bobby couldn’t help but smile, knowing they were both falling all over themselves and each other in their worry and haste. “Calm down.” He said with a chuckle. “You were right, Daddy. Sleep did me good.”
“Good.” Jack was wary. Bobby sounded happier today, but he was a pretty good faker when he felt like he needed to be. “So…?”
“I…” Bobby hesitated. “I think I should stay.” He said strongly. “I need to stay. I need to figure out some more stuff.”
“You’re sure?” Ennis checked.
“I’m sure.” Bobby watched Lureen go to the counter and grab her keys. They were always on a hook on the wall, in the same spot every day-no hunting around through every drawer, cursing, and certainly no checking behind the fridge, which for some reason was a frequent spot for keys to end up in at home. “I gotta go.” He continued. “I’ll call you back tonight.”
“Alright, bud. Anytime you want to come home, you say the word.”
“Thanks, Daddy. I don’t know how much longer I’ll stay.”
“Well, we’re ready for you to come home when you are.” Ennis murmured.
“Thanks. Bye.”
He hung up and looked at Lureen. “Do you have to go to work?” He asked, very politely.
“Yes, I do.”
Silence.
“Um…can I-I mean, may I come?”
She paused from writing something on her schedule and looked up. “Wh…” She closed her mouth with a little snap. “Yeah. Be ready in ten minutes.” She told him, not realizing that he was still on a ranch schedule and had been up and showered for almost an hour and a half already.
“Sure.” He answered, instead of pointing out that he was ready. They’d been very careful since their explosive conversation the afternoon before, dancing around each other and avoiding any substantial conversation. Bobby was gearing up to corner her in the car on their way back from work.
He went out and sat on the combine, but he didn’t feel like driving it around. He remembered the first time he’d driven a tractor-sitting on his daddy’s lap, Jack beaming and telling him what a natural he was and Ennis congratulating him when they went back in the barn. He wondered how it would’ve been if Lureen had been part of his life-even if he’d just talked to her on the phone. He wondered what she would’ve said.
“What you doing up there?!” A harassed sounding voice demanded. Bobby scrambled down right away.
“Sorry,” he said to the old man in front of him, whose uniform said MAINTENANCE over the left breast pocket in lieu of a name. “I was just sitting on it.”
“It ain’t a bench, son, it’s a four-thousand dollar machine!” He sounded exasperated, about a minute away from shaking his fist and calling Bobby a hooligan.
“Yessir.” Bobby ducked his head. The man gave him a scrutinizing look.
“You work here?”
“Oh-no sir. My…Lureen Newsome’s my…um, my mother.” The word sounded strange and unfamiliar in his mouth.
“Really?” He immediately looked wary, like he should’ve been more respectful. His eyes searched Bobby. Again.
“You don’t dress the way I thought her son would dress.” Apparently he’d decided Bobby wasn’t one of those brat kids who was going to rat him out to the boss. For some reason, Bobby felt his tongue loosen.
“Yeah, well, this is the first time I’ve seen her in three years.” He couldn’t stop the bitterness. “She said it’d be too hard to raise me without my daddy.”
“Where’d your daddy go?”
“Um…” He could tell some random guy that his mother’d abandoned him, but he was definitely not sharing his daddy’s secrets. “He didn’t want to live a lie with my mother.” Well, it was true.
“Your daddy runned off on your mama?” There was clear disdain in his voice.
“You don’t know anything about my daddy or my mama!” Bobby’s temper was right there at the surface and suddenly ignited. “Don’t you go judging my daddy! Why does everyone think they can do that? Huh? He’s raised me and taken care of me and made sure I got a tutor when I was too damn stupid to learn to read! He’s the one who taught me to drive a tractor and he’s the one who taught me all ‘bout girls and…fuck! You don’t know me, you don’t know my daddy!”
The man looked taken aback. “Calm down, son! I’m sorry! Good Lord, you obviously got your mama’s temper, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t get anything from her because she did everything she could to stay away from me!” Bobby spat.
“Okay.” He sounded like he desperately wanted to back away from the situation.
“Sorry.” Bobby hung his head, anger suddenly completely gone, replaced like feeling like an idiot for yelling at some old man.
“Look, kid. You just defended your daddy without a second thought. Obviously he’s been good to you. Who cares ‘bout your mama? I mean, look up there!” He wheeled Bobby around to face Lureen’s window. The blinds were open and she was bent over the adding machine in a cloud of smoke. “You want that for a mother?” She looked up and gave a tight smile. Then she opened the window and yelled,
“Arthur! Get back to work!”
Arthur mumbled something and shuffled off, calling back to Bobby, “See?”
But Bobby couldn’t help but wonder what Lureen would’ve been like if she’d had Bobby around. Surely she would’ve paid more attention to him than to work. Surely she wouldn’t be so cold and calloused. Bobby knew she could’ve been a good mother.
And Arthur had made Bobby think. Yeah, he did have a good daddy. Two of them, actually. So what if Lureen hadn’t been there? Her loss. He had a happy life. He had friends. Well, okay, he’d had friends. And he was a football star. Well, actually, he’d been a football star.
He needed to get off this train of thought before he got too depressed to remember why he’d gotten on.
Right. He was happy with his life and secure enough that he could give Lureen another chance at being part of said happy life and not be crushed if she decided to not be part of said happy life, the way she did the first time. His head was starting to hurt. Lureen stuck her head out the window again.
“Bobby! Get back in here!” She barked.
He held in a very Ennis-like growl and did as he was told.
“I’m done for the day, I s’pose.” She said, rummaging around on her desk. “Well, I can just bring this stuff back with me…damn salesmen…” She kept muttering.
“Maybe you could, um…not work today.” He licked his lips nervously. She looked at him like he had three heads.
“What?”
“Well…” He coughed and shuffled his feet, suddenly wishing he were on a plane home. “I was thinking we’d spend time together today because I’m leaving soon.” His voice dropped off at the end and he was fiddling with some nick-knack on her desk that, come to examine it, he’d made in the third grade. Lureen dropped the file she’d been rifling through.
“Oh.”
“We don’t have to.” He rushed.
“Well…sure. You know what, let’s-let’s see a movie.” She said it like it was the most spontaneous thing she’d ever thought of. It probably was, in the last decade.
“Okay…” Bobby didn’t really want to see a movie with his mother, but if that’s what she wanted to do, he’d do it. This was rapidly becoming more awkward than anytime he’d ever asked a girl on a date.
“Oh!” She looked up from gathering the papers she’d spilled. “There’s a rodeo tonight!”
This sounded so much better to Bobby he felt his body actually physically relax. “That sounds good.”
She gave him that tight little smile, but there was a little more to her eyes this time. It made Bobby happy. And how could he not get excited about going to a rodeo? It was one of his favorite things in the world. She used to be a barrel racer. They could bond.
Oh, God, what was he getting himself into?
The rodeo wasn’t huge. Bobby knew, from offhand comments over the years, that Jack had met Lureen on these very rodeo grounds. He wondered idly where exactly it’d happened.
“That’s where I met your daddy.” Lureen said stiffly, pointing to a spot just outside the arena.
“Oh.” Bobby didn’t know if he was supposed to ask for more detail. He couldn’t say he actually wanted more detail. She sighed and then smiled at him.
“Well, anyway.” She murmured.
Not only was the rodeo not huge, but it also wasn’t very exciting. Not a single bull rider lasted the whole eight seconds.
“Pssh, weak!” Bobby shouted as the last competitor flew through the air at a whopping two and a half seconds. “I could’ve made that ride, easy!”
“Yeah?” Lureen raised her eyebrows at him.
“Of course.” He waved a hand.
“Go enter.” She said daringly.
“Huh?”
“Tell ‘em I’m your mama and they’ll let you ride.”
“Um…” He bit a hangnail. “Daddy doesn’t really like me to ride.”
“Oh, what a hypocrite. Come on, don’t be a chicken.”
So he did it. He was saving face with his mother. Was that normal? How the hell was he supposed to know? This was the longest he’d spent with her since, like, the womb. He said his last name was Twist and Lureen Newsome was his mother and the man at the gate whistled.
“Get out there, boy!” He roared with a grin.
Bobby’s legs were shaking as he climbed up to the chute. This idea seemed much stupider now that the bull was six inches from him and seemed very angry. Snot or drool or something was dripping from its face. And it had horns. Oh, God, he was going to die. In Texas.
“You okay, kid?” One of the chute guys asked lazily. He nodded without saying anything because he was pretty sure he’d barf if he opened his mouth. He breathed deep, remembering everything Jack’d ever said about bull riding. And then he nodded and they opened the chute.
He wasn’t even wearing spurs. He dug his heels in as hard as he could and held on for dear life, praying harder than he’d ever prayed in his life (which wasn’t very hard, admittedly) that the buzzer would go off. It did. Shit, he didn’t know how to get off! He tugged at the rope around his hand and was soon flying through the air. It really wasn’t a pleasant feeling, actually. The bull stomped on Bobby’s left arm, hard, and white sparks exploded in front of his eyes.
In the end, he got four hundred dollars, a shiny new belt buckle, and a plaster cast on his arm. They decided to prolong telling Jack and Ennis for as long as possible, agreeing that a freak-out was inevitable. Lureen was the first to sign his cast, drawing a pretty realistic bull.
He woke up sometime in the middle of the night to find her slumped in the chair in the corner of the room, arm hanging in front of her like she’d wanted to grab his hand but couldn’t reach. He stared for a minute, then went back to sleep.
“What’s going on?” Jack demanded as soon as Ennis hung up with Bobby. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t really know,” Ennis tried to sound soothing, but he was too worried for it to work. “He just said he wanted to come home. He didn’t really say why. Just said he was homesick and sick of Lureen and L.D.”
“Of course he’s sick of L.D.” Jack snapped, taking his worry out on Ennis. Ennis, unperturbed, was used to this by now. Junior glanced back and forth between them. Part of her wanted to think of something to say and part of her wanted to leave. The part that wanted to leave was louder and more insistent, but somehow the other part won.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” She said reassuringly. Both men started, like they’d forgotten she was even there. “He’s tough.”
“Yeah, but you don’t know L.D…” Jack trailed off, hands moving to his hips as he started to pace. “Maybe I should call.”
“Nah, he said he’ll call back after they talk.”
Jack ran a hand through his hair, making the back stick straight up. “Fine.” He muttered. “I’ll give it an hour, and then I’m calling.” Ennis nodded, because he was thinking the exact same thing. He didn’t want to get Jack any more riled up than he already was, so he didn’t mention how worried he was, how upset Bobby had sounded or how pissed Lureen had sounded in the background. But his worry must’ve been showing in his eyes, because Jack bit his lip.
“Do you think something bad’s happening?” He asked solemnly, sounding much younger than he was. Ennis shrugged.
“Hope not.” He said, sounding desperate and worried.
“Forty-five minutes, ‘stead of an hour?”
“Sounds good.” Ennis agreed.
Bobby knew he was supposed to call home, but he was suddenly exhausted. He was curled into a ball on the bed in the guest room, wondering distantly if it would’ve been his had he known his mother his whole life, and soon fell into an uneasy sleep. When he woke up to the sound of Lureen shouting at someone, it was dark outside. He rubbed his eyes, his hip stabbing painfully from sleeping in the fetal position. How did babies do that for nine months? It was not comfortable.
He moved quietly to the stairs, which he’d already learned in the short time he’d been there was the best place for eavesdropping.
“Because!” Lureen was shouting. “He’s my son, too!” Bobby got that uncomfortable feeling he always got when he’d stumbled into a conversation about himself. “He was insulting my daddy!” She added indignantly. After a minute, she said angrily, “Oh, very mature, Jack. Try to act at least twenty-five, could you?”
Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course Jack had called her. That’s what he did-he worried and he bitched and then he called and complained. Bobby should’ve called home. But it also gave him a little swell of warmth in his chest. His daddy was always his fiercest protector. He gathered up all his courage and made himself walk down the stairs. He didn’t have enough courage to look Lureen in the eye, though; not yet. He held out his hand, looking at the floor, and requested the phone.
“Here he is. He wants to talk to you.” Lureen suddenly wasn’t yelling anymore; she was wary, just like Bobby. She must’ve decided he needed privacy, or maybe she was just being a chicken; either way, she beat a quick retreat. Bobby heard her bedroom door close.
“Daddy?”
“Bobby! What the hell’s going on out there? Do I need to come get you?”
It was tempting. It was so tempting. Bobby sighed into the phone. “I don’t know.”
“What happened?” Jack asked, quieter, gentler.
“I…” Bobby tried to unstick his throat. “L.D. was saying shit. Shit ‘bout you, and ‘bout Ennis.”
“He ain’t never met Ennis-he got no right to say anything!”
“I know, Daddy, and I told him that.” Bobby’s voice was flat, tired. It scared Jack. Bobby didn’t get unemotional like that. He was always a firecracker. “I started yelling at him, and…” He hesitated, unsure what he was supposed to call Lureen. “…she got mad.”
“Lureen?”
“Uh huh. She got mad and started yelling at me and I yelled back and then…” Bobby sighed again, sinking into a stiff-backed chair. “Well, we got to talking ‘bout why she didn’t want me ‘round.”
“Oh, boy,” Jack murmured. Ennis’s head snapped up from where he’d been unsuccessfully trying to read the paper. He kept looking up at every word Jack said, so he looked like one of those birds people put on their desks, the ones that bobbed into a glass of water or whatever it was. He was starting to get a crick in his neck. Unable to sit and listen to Jack’s side of the conversation any longer, Ennis did the hovering routine he so loathed when Jack did it to him. Jack moved the phone so Ennis could hear, too, and they ended up with their heads squished together, the phone somewhere in the middle.
“Yeah.” Bobby didn’t know what to say.
“So, um…” Jack licked his lips. “What’d she say?”
“She said it would’ve been too hard to keep me around.”
“What the hell kinda thing is that to say to you?” Ennis burst out angrily. Bobby wasn’t even surprised that he was listening in. He didn’t have an answer, though.
“Maybe we oughta go out there.” Jack said to Ennis.
“Maybe we oughta just talk to her.” Ennis suggested. They realized at the same moment how ridiculous they were being-they were talking over the phone to each other, even though they were sharing the same receiver.
“Bob.” Jack said seriously. “I’ll get in the truck right now and come get you, if that’s what you want.”
“That what you need?” Ennis chimed in.
“I don’t…I don’t know.” Bobby felt like his head was full of mud. He was so tired; he couldn’t think. All three men were quiet a moment.
“You want to sleep on it?” Jack asked.
“I want to sleep, that’s for sure.”
“Okay. Sleep on it, rest up, maybe talk some more to Lureen? Then call in the morning?”
“Okay.” Bobby agreed automatically.
“And don’t you forget to call back this time.” Ennis growled without any real heat. “Near drove your daddy crazy.”
“Oh, just me, huh?” Jack shot back. “You’ve been in the kitchen for the last hour because you wanted to read the paper you already read front to back?”
“Sure.” Ennis sniffed haughtily.
“I’m going to bed now.” Bobby interrupted their good-natured bickering. It was seven P.M.
“Put your mama back on the phone.” Jack commanded. “I wasn’t done talking to her.”
“I’d like to talk to her.” Ennis muttered darkly, though they all knew he’d never do such a thing.
“Okay.”
“Love you, Bobby.” Jack said.
“Love you, too, Daddy. You too, Ennis.”
“Mm.”
He set the phone on the table.
“I’m worried about him.” Jack said. They were still sharing the phone.
“Me too.” Ennis admitted.
“What do you think we should do?”
“Hm…well-”
“Hello?”
They both jumped away from the phone, so it ended up crashing to the ground. Jack swore and picked it up quickly. Ennis went back to his chair.
“Lureen?”
“Yeah.” She responded dryly. Jack forced out a little chuckle that hurt his throat. He could feel himself gearing up to yell.
“So, is it too hard for you to have Bobby there with you?” He tried to control his voice. “Should I come get him?”
Lureen sighed wearily. “Jack, I told him the truth. He’s almost seventeen years old. He deserves it.”
“Eighteen!” Jack shouted, unable to keep a lid on it, this being the second time in less than two weeks that he’d had to remind her how old her own son was. “He’s almost eighteen!” He heard Ennis start his angry muttering from over at the table, indistinct but for a few words here and there-mostly things like “bitch” and “don’t know her own son” and even “oughta go get him.” He rustled the paper so angrily the sports page ripped.
“Right, right.” She said distractedly. “I just…I thought I owed it to him. To tell him, I mean.” She swallowed hard. “He’s a good kid, Jack.”
“He ain’t a kid, Lureen. He’s practically a man now.”
“Sure. But you did a good job, is what I’m saying.”
“Well…” That threw Jack for a loop. “Um…thank you.”
They were both quiet. “I’d like some more time with him.” She finally said, so quiet Jack almost couldn’t hear her. “If he wants to stay…well, I’d really like him to stay. Can’t blame him if he don’t want to.”
Jack licked his lips. Lureen sounded so down, and, after all, they’d been really good friends…
“I don’t think he wants to leave just yet.” He reassured her, a little grudgingly. “He said he’s gonna sleep on it.”
“Right.”
“Why don’t you go on and get some sleep, too? A little rest’d do you both some good.”
“Yeah. Okay. Night, Jack.”
“Night, Lureen. I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon.”
She didn’t say anything else, just hung up. Jack hung up and buried his face in his hands, sinking down into a chair next to Ennis. He blew out a frustrated breath against his fingers. He felt the strong warmth of Ennis’s hand on his neck, rubbing gently.
“It’ll be okay, darlin,” he said softly. Junior poked her head around the corner. She desperately wanted to know if Bobby was okay. She’d heard lots of shouting and lots of low, worried murmuring, and it was making a sort of dull panic flare up in her throat. She’d been having a slew of nightmares lately involving Bobby getting hurt. She retreated as soon as she saw Ennis rubbing Jack’s neck and Jack looking so helpless. She hurried back to her room when she heard the sound of lips meeting.
“So…you still don’t know what’s going on?” Kurt asked the next day. He’d come over to hang out and they’d walked out to a little duck pond Bobby used to love when he was a little boy. Junior told him everything she knew.
“No. I was too scared to ask either of ‘em this morning.” She admitted sheepishly. “I know they’d tell me, but I just…I feel bad making them worry about it more than they have to.”
“Um, hello, Junior? They’d feel bad if they realized how much you were worrying about it.”
She shrugged noncommittally, looking so much like Ennis it made Kurt chuckle a little.
“What?” Junior asked, a little smile threatening to pop up. Kurt bumped his shoulder gently into hers.
“Nothing.”
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes at him and went back to fretting. “I feel like I shouldn’t have left the house.” She confided. “He’s supposed to call back sometime today and tell them if he’s coming home or not. I’m just…Kurt, I’m real worried. What if it’s something real bad? What if he’s sick or something? Maybe he caught something at the hospital while he was visiting his granddaddy. Or maybe he got hurt.” The last thought was a murmur, because she didn’t want to admit how scared she was of this happening. It’d haunted her dreams again last night. Kurt looked over at her with shrewd eyes.
“You’re extra worried about him being hurt.” It wasn’t a question, so she felt no need to respond. “Junior, he’s fine. They’d a told you if something like that’d happened. Or you’d know, ‘cause Jack’d be freaking out.”
“Mm.”
“You want to go back?” Kurt asked. She bit her lip, debating. Kurt rolled his eyes at her. “Come on.” He said, leading the way.
She opened the door quietly, glancing back at Kurt. He gave her a little nod. She licked her lips and made her way to the kitchen, where Jack and Ennis were both hovering, talking in would-be casual voices.
“Hey, kids.” Jack put on his automatic smile.
“Hey.” Kurt grinned back.
“Bobby called?” Junior asked nonchalantly. Ennis tensed up and Jack sighed.
“Not yet.” He said quietly. Then he gave Junior a closer look. “Hey.” He sounded surprised. “We didn’t explain anything to you.” She shrugged like it didn’t matter.
“You worried?” Ennis asked. She shrugged again.
“She’s been going crazy.” Kurt ratted her out. Regret twisted Ennis’s face and Junior shot Kurt an angry glare. He shrugged apologetically.
“Aw, shit.” Jack rubbed a hand down his face. “Just got kind of swept up. I’m sorry, Junior.”
“No, it’s okay. I understand. You guys have a lot on your minds.”
“See, Bobby and his mama had a long talk about, um…about why Lureen hasn’t been around. It was just kind of hard for him to hear.”
“Oh…” Junior felt her face crumple into a sympathetic look meant for Bobby, all the way out in Texas. “Is he okay?”
“He sounded fine.” Ennis lied before Jack could tell her the truth. He didn’t want her to worry any more than she already was. Jack shot him a quick sideways look but didn’t say anything. Junior pressed her lips together, not really believing him. Before anyone could say anything, the phone rang. Jack lunged for it immediately, Ennis literally on his heels so that they almost fell to the ground.
“Hello?” Jack finally answered it breathlessly.
“Hey, Daddy.”
“Bobby!” Ennis cried.
Bobby couldn’t help but smile, knowing they were both falling all over themselves and each other in their worry and haste. “Calm down.” He said with a chuckle. “You were right, Daddy. Sleep did me good.”
“Good.” Jack was wary. Bobby sounded happier today, but he was a pretty good faker when he felt like he needed to be. “So…?”
“I…” Bobby hesitated. “I think I should stay.” He said strongly. “I need to stay. I need to figure out some more stuff.”
“You’re sure?” Ennis checked.
“I’m sure.” Bobby watched Lureen go to the counter and grab her keys. They were always on a hook on the wall, in the same spot every day-no hunting around through every drawer, cursing, and certainly no checking behind the fridge, which for some reason was a frequent spot for keys to end up in at home. “I gotta go.” He continued. “I’ll call you back tonight.”
“Alright, bud. Anytime you want to come home, you say the word.”
“Thanks, Daddy. I don’t know how much longer I’ll stay.”
“Well, we’re ready for you to come home when you are.” Ennis murmured.
“Thanks. Bye.”
He hung up and looked at Lureen. “Do you have to go to work?” He asked, very politely.
“Yes, I do.”
Silence.
“Um…can I-I mean, may I come?”
She paused from writing something on her schedule and looked up. “Wh…” She closed her mouth with a little snap. “Yeah. Be ready in ten minutes.” She told him, not realizing that he was still on a ranch schedule and had been up and showered for almost an hour and a half already.
“Sure.” He answered, instead of pointing out that he was ready. They’d been very careful since their explosive conversation the afternoon before, dancing around each other and avoiding any substantial conversation. Bobby was gearing up to corner her in the car on their way back from work.
He went out and sat on the combine, but he didn’t feel like driving it around. He remembered the first time he’d driven a tractor-sitting on his daddy’s lap, Jack beaming and telling him what a natural he was and Ennis congratulating him when they went back in the barn. He wondered how it would’ve been if Lureen had been part of his life-even if he’d just talked to her on the phone. He wondered what she would’ve said.
“What you doing up there?!” A harassed sounding voice demanded. Bobby scrambled down right away.
“Sorry,” he said to the old man in front of him, whose uniform said MAINTENANCE over the left breast pocket in lieu of a name. “I was just sitting on it.”
“It ain’t a bench, son, it’s a four-thousand dollar machine!” He sounded exasperated, about a minute away from shaking his fist and calling Bobby a hooligan.
“Yessir.” Bobby ducked his head. The man gave him a scrutinizing look.
“You work here?”
“Oh-no sir. My…Lureen Newsome’s my…um, my mother.” The word sounded strange and unfamiliar in his mouth.
“Really?” He immediately looked wary, like he should’ve been more respectful. His eyes searched Bobby. Again.
“You don’t dress the way I thought her son would dress.” Apparently he’d decided Bobby wasn’t one of those brat kids who was going to rat him out to the boss. For some reason, Bobby felt his tongue loosen.
“Yeah, well, this is the first time I’ve seen her in three years.” He couldn’t stop the bitterness. “She said it’d be too hard to raise me without my daddy.”
“Where’d your daddy go?”
“Um…” He could tell some random guy that his mother’d abandoned him, but he was definitely not sharing his daddy’s secrets. “He didn’t want to live a lie with my mother.” Well, it was true.
“Your daddy runned off on your mama?” There was clear disdain in his voice.
“You don’t know anything about my daddy or my mama!” Bobby’s temper was right there at the surface and suddenly ignited. “Don’t you go judging my daddy! Why does everyone think they can do that? Huh? He’s raised me and taken care of me and made sure I got a tutor when I was too damn stupid to learn to read! He’s the one who taught me to drive a tractor and he’s the one who taught me all ‘bout girls and…fuck! You don’t know me, you don’t know my daddy!”
The man looked taken aback. “Calm down, son! I’m sorry! Good Lord, you obviously got your mama’s temper, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t get anything from her because she did everything she could to stay away from me!” Bobby spat.
“Okay.” He sounded like he desperately wanted to back away from the situation.
“Sorry.” Bobby hung his head, anger suddenly completely gone, replaced like feeling like an idiot for yelling at some old man.
“Look, kid. You just defended your daddy without a second thought. Obviously he’s been good to you. Who cares ‘bout your mama? I mean, look up there!” He wheeled Bobby around to face Lureen’s window. The blinds were open and she was bent over the adding machine in a cloud of smoke. “You want that for a mother?” She looked up and gave a tight smile. Then she opened the window and yelled,
“Arthur! Get back to work!”
Arthur mumbled something and shuffled off, calling back to Bobby, “See?”
But Bobby couldn’t help but wonder what Lureen would’ve been like if she’d had Bobby around. Surely she would’ve paid more attention to him than to work. Surely she wouldn’t be so cold and calloused. Bobby knew she could’ve been a good mother.
And Arthur had made Bobby think. Yeah, he did have a good daddy. Two of them, actually. So what if Lureen hadn’t been there? Her loss. He had a happy life. He had friends. Well, okay, he’d had friends. And he was a football star. Well, actually, he’d been a football star.
He needed to get off this train of thought before he got too depressed to remember why he’d gotten on.
Right. He was happy with his life and secure enough that he could give Lureen another chance at being part of said happy life and not be crushed if she decided to not be part of said happy life, the way she did the first time. His head was starting to hurt. Lureen stuck her head out the window again.
“Bobby! Get back in here!” She barked.
He held in a very Ennis-like growl and did as he was told.
“I’m done for the day, I s’pose.” She said, rummaging around on her desk. “Well, I can just bring this stuff back with me…damn salesmen…” She kept muttering.
“Maybe you could, um…not work today.” He licked his lips nervously. She looked at him like he had three heads.
“What?”
“Well…” He coughed and shuffled his feet, suddenly wishing he were on a plane home. “I was thinking we’d spend time together today because I’m leaving soon.” His voice dropped off at the end and he was fiddling with some nick-knack on her desk that, come to examine it, he’d made in the third grade. Lureen dropped the file she’d been rifling through.
“Oh.”
“We don’t have to.” He rushed.
“Well…sure. You know what, let’s-let’s see a movie.” She said it like it was the most spontaneous thing she’d ever thought of. It probably was, in the last decade.
“Okay…” Bobby didn’t really want to see a movie with his mother, but if that’s what she wanted to do, he’d do it. This was rapidly becoming more awkward than anytime he’d ever asked a girl on a date.
“Oh!” She looked up from gathering the papers she’d spilled. “There’s a rodeo tonight!”
This sounded so much better to Bobby he felt his body actually physically relax. “That sounds good.”
She gave him that tight little smile, but there was a little more to her eyes this time. It made Bobby happy. And how could he not get excited about going to a rodeo? It was one of his favorite things in the world. She used to be a barrel racer. They could bond.
Oh, God, what was he getting himself into?
The rodeo wasn’t huge. Bobby knew, from offhand comments over the years, that Jack had met Lureen on these very rodeo grounds. He wondered idly where exactly it’d happened.
“That’s where I met your daddy.” Lureen said stiffly, pointing to a spot just outside the arena.
“Oh.” Bobby didn’t know if he was supposed to ask for more detail. He couldn’t say he actually wanted more detail. She sighed and then smiled at him.
“Well, anyway.” She murmured.
Not only was the rodeo not huge, but it also wasn’t very exciting. Not a single bull rider lasted the whole eight seconds.
“Pssh, weak!” Bobby shouted as the last competitor flew through the air at a whopping two and a half seconds. “I could’ve made that ride, easy!”
“Yeah?” Lureen raised her eyebrows at him.
“Of course.” He waved a hand.
“Go enter.” She said daringly.
“Huh?”
“Tell ‘em I’m your mama and they’ll let you ride.”
“Um…” He bit a hangnail. “Daddy doesn’t really like me to ride.”
“Oh, what a hypocrite. Come on, don’t be a chicken.”
So he did it. He was saving face with his mother. Was that normal? How the hell was he supposed to know? This was the longest he’d spent with her since, like, the womb. He said his last name was Twist and Lureen Newsome was his mother and the man at the gate whistled.
“Get out there, boy!” He roared with a grin.
Bobby’s legs were shaking as he climbed up to the chute. This idea seemed much stupider now that the bull was six inches from him and seemed very angry. Snot or drool or something was dripping from its face. And it had horns. Oh, God, he was going to die. In Texas.
“You okay, kid?” One of the chute guys asked lazily. He nodded without saying anything because he was pretty sure he’d barf if he opened his mouth. He breathed deep, remembering everything Jack’d ever said about bull riding. And then he nodded and they opened the chute.
He wasn’t even wearing spurs. He dug his heels in as hard as he could and held on for dear life, praying harder than he’d ever prayed in his life (which wasn’t very hard, admittedly) that the buzzer would go off. It did. Shit, he didn’t know how to get off! He tugged at the rope around his hand and was soon flying through the air. It really wasn’t a pleasant feeling, actually. The bull stomped on Bobby’s left arm, hard, and white sparks exploded in front of his eyes.
In the end, he got four hundred dollars, a shiny new belt buckle, and a plaster cast on his arm. They decided to prolong telling Jack and Ennis for as long as possible, agreeing that a freak-out was inevitable. Lureen was the first to sign his cast, drawing a pretty realistic bull.
He woke up sometime in the middle of the night to find her slumped in the chair in the corner of the room, arm hanging in front of her like she’d wanted to grab his hand but couldn’t reach. He stared for a minute, then went back to sleep.