Healing Wings, Chapter Three
So, I already broke my "alternate between stories" rule. But I've been kind of on a roll with WPFAAT. Anyway, here's chapter three. A little refresher: Jack's paralyzed, and now living in a long-term care facility. Ennis, his roommate, is a cancer patient, and Jack just found out that Ennis has been there for almost two years.
Jack hung around with Randall for a while, meeting some of the other guys there and getting into a game of poker. He wasn’t winning much, partly because he was distracted, thinking on trying to bust Ennis out of there, and partly because he just wasn’t good at poker. He’d never been too good at keeping his emotions off his face.
When there was about an hour until dinner, Jack was all pokered out. That seemed to be the general consensus, since this kid Mitch kept winning and had pretty much cleaned everyone out. Jack was suspicious that he was cheating-he hadn’t known the guy long, but he already didn’t like him.
“Hey-we ever get to leave here?” Jack asked Randall as they headed to the elevator.
“What do you mean?”
“Like…anyone ever get to go out? Have fun?”
“Uh…” Randall cleared his throat. “Most kids ain’t really in any kind of condition to go out. You know?”
“Guess so.” Jack pondered a minute. “But if a kid was okay enough, and he wanted to go do something, would it be allowed?”
“I don’t know.” Randall admitted. “I don’t think anyone’s ever tried.”
“What?” Jack couldn’t believe his ears. “Nobody’s ever wanted outta here? Everyone’s just fine being cooped up in a gloomy ol’ hospital for as long as the doctor says they gotta be?”
Randall shrugged. “Lotta these kids been sick their whole lives, Jack. They’re used to hospitals and they’re used to…I don’t know. Making fun outta…not so fun.” He shrugged again.
“Huh uh.” Jack shook his head. “Nope. Not me. And not anyone else; not if I can do anything ‘bout it.” He said bye to Randall and went into his room.
“Ennis,” he started. He stopped when he realized Ennis was fast asleep, mouth open, snoring and drooling, the whole nine yards. “Jeez, it’s only four thirty.” Jack muttered. Then he felt bad, because he’d never had cancer, and didn’t that make you tired all the time? He vowed to be as quiet as he possibly could.
Apparently that wasn’t very quiet.
After he dropped his baseball against the floor twice and then bumped into the desk and swore loudly, Ennis stirred, eyelashes fluttering.
“The hell?” He murmured.
“Sorry,” Jack whispered. “You can go back to sleep. I’ll be real quiet; promise.”
“Yeah, right.” Ennis grumbled. Oh, right. Ennis was cranky upon waking, Jack remembered.
“Sorry.” He was still whispering, for some reason. Ennis waved a hand.
“Almost dinner time anyway,” he said with a shrug, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He rubbed his eyes like a little kid, with his fists. Jack felt himself smiling at it. He turned away quickly, not wanting Ennis to catch him staring and smiling at him like some sort of lunatic.
“So I was thinking.” Jack started. He waited for something from Ennis. He got nothing, which he should’ve expected, but still put him out a little. “Um…I think we should go see a movie tomorrow.”
“Movies are only on Friday nights.” Ennis said, getting up and scratching at his belly. Jack tried not to stare at the blond hair there.
“Right, that’s why we’re getting outta here. We’re going to go to a movie theater.” He waited for Ennis to be excited and help him plan. Instead, he got a skeptical look.
“Huh?” Ennis said, eloquent as ever.
“We’re going to the movies.” Jack smiled a very self-satisfied smile. Ennis was still giving him that look like he was out of his head.
“Why?”
“Wha…because! Because it ain’t healthy to be shut inside all the time!”
“Pretty sure the hospital’s prob’ly the healthiest place you could be.” Ennis muttered. Jack ignored that.
“We’re growing boys! We need fresh air!”
“So we’re gonna get it at the movie theater?” Ennis raised his eyebrows. Jack sighed, exasperated.
“Look, we’re going. You’re coming and we’re seeing a movie and we’re going to have a good time!” He added a glare to make his point. Ennis just rolled his eyes and shrugged.
“Whatever. Good luck.”
Jack found out what Ennis’d meant by “good luck” when he tried to put his plan into action later. He was extra polite to the ladies handing out food and made sure to smile real big at the bored nurse on kiddie duty. She smiled a little herself after that. Jack laughed smugly to himself. Still got it.
But after dinner, he had to go to the Big Kahuna, the head director, Mr. Aguirre. He’d never even seen the guy yet, but he figured he had to be pretty cool. He worked at a hospital for kids-surely he’d be an okay kind of guy?
“Come in.” A gruff voice called after Jack knocked on the huge mahogany door. Easier said than done. Jack struggled for a minute, trying to pull the door open and back up, until the secretary spotted his troubles and came over to help.
“Thank you, ma’am,” he said with a big grin. She smiled back. Man, these women were starving for some Jack Twist attention. A natural born flirt, Jack was pretty excited about all these new possibilities.
“Yeah?” The guy behind the desk asked impatiently.
“Well, hi there, sir.” Jack was trying his hardest to be charming. Aguirre’s face remained impassive. “I’m Jack Twist.”
“Ah, the new guy.”
“Um…yeah.” Jack was confused by Aguirre’s sneer. But he plowed ahead anyway, thinking maybe Aguirre was just one of those people who were hard to read. “So I was wondering, sir, if it’d be possible to go out for a little while. For some fun. Sir,” he added again for good measure. Aguirre gave him a look like he was something on the bottom of his boot.
“That’s not a scheduled event.”
“Yeah, but…”
“We stick to a schedule around here, Twist. Now I know kids like you think you’re above things like rules and schedules, but there are kids here who didn’t wind up the way they are because of their own stupidity and they like the way we run things around here.”
“Excuse me?” Jack was bewildered. He’d been there just over twenty-four hours and had been talking to Aguirre for about a minute and a half-how did this guy think he had him all figured out already?
“You rebel types-never done an honest day’s work in your life, always out on your skateboards causing trouble, and then you get hurt and you still think you’re above everyone else.” He shook his head, disgusted, and Jack sat there, stunned, trying to wrap his head around what was happening.
“I…” Jack’s brow furrowed. He swallowed hard.
“Get outta here, Twist. No movies. No unscheduled events. Stick to the rules and keep yourself out of trouble and maybe you’ll get some extra privileges.”
“But…”
“Go on, get out!”
Jack did as he was told, not knowing what else to do. He felt like he’d been slapped in the face. Hurt because of his own stupidity? Never done an honest day’s work? By the time he got back up to his room, he was positively fuming.
“So how’d that go?” Ennis asked with a smirk.
“Who the hell does that Aguirre think he is?” Jack bellowed. Ennis’s eyes widened a little at the unexpected outburst. “He don’t even know me! Says I never done an honest day’s work…I been busting my ass on my daddy’s spread since I was six years old! I got hurt ‘cause I was having some fun; I weren’t breaking no rules, weren’t causing no trouble! He got no right to judge me! No right!”
“What the hell?” Ennis finally found something to say.
“Aguirre! I go in there, polite as punch”-Ennis didn’t point out that that wasn’t how the phrase went-“ask him real nice if we can go out and have some fun, and he just goes off on me! Says I got hurt because of my own stupidity and I’m one of them rebel types a kids who don’t listen to rules or whatever!”
Ennis screwed up his face, thinking. “How did you get hurt?” He asked.
“I was skateboarding.” Jack noticed Ennis raise an eyebrow and that just made him angrier. “Oh, so that automatically makes me a no good slacker, huh? I got hurt skateboarding after a full day of school and finishing all my chores ‘round the ranch and I was just trying to have some fun with my friends! Just ‘cause I ain’t a chicken, everyone thinks I’m some horrible person?!”
“Uh…” Ennis was unused to such emotional outbursts; his family had always been very even-tempered (besides K.E., but even he just ground Ennis’s face into the ground and then was done with it). Jack threw his hands into the air and made a disgusted sound before wheeling out of the room.
He was muttering angrily to himself and not paying attention to where he was going. The halls were pretty much deserted, due to the fact that there were no activities scheduled. Jack was hating this place more and more each minute.
“Hey, where you going?” A nurse, the only other person in the hall, called out to him. Jack wheeled around as sharply as possible (which, admittedly, wasn’t very sharp, new as he was to this whole wheels instead of legs thing) and gave her a hard stare. She was pretty, he noted, but he was pissed so he wasn’t backing down.
“What, a guy can’t even walk around now?” He snapped.
“You ain’t walking.” She pointed out. She said with a mock-fierce look to match his own, and he had to laugh a little despite his best efforts not to.
“I’m Lureen Newsome.” She stuck out her hand.
“Jack Twist.”
“So what’s got you all riled up, Jack Twist?” She leaned against the wall, pretty dark eyes amused at his tantrum.
“Oh…I just…well, I went to Aguirre and asked if me and my roommate could get out of here to see a movie, and he blew up on me!” Jack felt his anger coming back at the memory. Lureen snorted and rolled her eyes.
“Why’d you go to him?” She asked.
“I…huh? I thought I had to.”
“Look, kid, what Aguirre don’t know ain’t hurt him yet, unfortunately.” She grinned at Jack’s surprised look. “You want to take your buddy out, I’m your girl. Who’s your roommate?”
“Ennis del Mar.”
A shadow passed over her face when he told her, but she shook it away quickly and shrugged. “Good luck convincing him to leave.” She said. “He don’t seem to like getting out.” But Jack didn’t seem to hear her; he was already planning.
“When can we go?” Jack asked eagerly.
“Hold your horses. I gotta talk to some of the other nurses, see what we can do. I’ll find you when it’s all settled, okay?” She didn’t wait for him to answer before pushing off the wall and walking away. She swung her hips a little more than was strictly necessary, but Jack didn’t even notice.
The plans were all laid out. Now Jack just had to convince Ennis.
“No.”
“Come on!”
“No.”
“Ennis!”
“Jack!”
“You’re coming.” Jack was giving Ennis his patented stubborn glare. Unfortunately, Ennis was proving just as stubborn.
“I’m not.”
“Ennis!” Jack put his hands on his hips. Sort of. It wasn’t real easy to do while sitting. “I went to all this trouble, and so did the nurses, and you’re just gonna put that all to waste?”
“Uh…” Ennis hesitated. He hated other people to go to any trouble for him.
Jack smelled victory. “I thought you were a better man than that, Ennis, wasting the efforts of all these women.”
“Ugh, fine.” Ennis muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Woo-ee!” Jack whooped. “Let’s go!”
They snuck out as inconspicuously as a guy in a wheelchair and a tall, lanky, somewhat clumsy guy could. So, not really very inconspicuously. Luckily, no one seemed to notice or care that they were walking by, although some kids did give Ennis a second glance, seeing as how he left his room for something other than meals or school just about…never.
They made it to the movie, Lureen smoking and chattering away to Jack as she drove them in one of the hospital’s smaller wheel-chair accessible vans, and Jack found himself faced with a problem he hadn’t counted on-where was he going to sit? Ennis glanced down at him, obviously wondering the same thing. They were pretty early, so they didn’t have to deal with too much annoyance as they stood there stupidly, trying to decide what to do. Lureen, coming up behind them, snorted and led them to the wheelchair-friendly part of the theater. Jack’d never noticed anything like that at the theater at home; maybe it was only here because of the hospital being close?
It was a funny movie. Jack even caught Ennis chuckling once or twice. And afterward, Jack talked Ennis and Lureen into getting ice cream. Lureen got strawberry, Jack got rocky road, and Ennis got vanilla.
“Plain vanilla?” Jack asked incredulously, crunching away. Ennis shrugged.
“Like it.” He mumbled.
“But it’s so…plain. Don’t you want, like, something…more flavorful?”
“Um…no.” But he was eyeing all the flavors.
“Come on, Ennis, get something else. You want it; I can tell.”
“Oh, how would you know?” Ennis muttered. “Happy with what I got.”
Jack let it drop, but it nagged at him the whole ride back to the hospital. What kind of person was afraid to get a different flavor of ice cream? If he wanted a different flavor, why did he stick with vanilla? It just didn’t make any sense to Jack-he didn’t get why anyone wouldn’t take what they wanted.
School. It was a word Jack’d loathed since he was seven. Sure, it was nice to be around other kids and get away from the old man, but he hated being stuck inside all day, sitting at a desk. Maybe it’d be different here? Although-Jack looked around the cafeteria at the other kids-everyone else seemed kind of…zombie like.
“Come on,” Ennis grunted at 8:30. “School.” He grimaced, obviously as enthusiastic about school as Jack was.
Jack sighed. They made their way to the elevators, Jack feeling nervous and jumpy. He’d gone to the same school with the same kids since kindergarten. He’d always had friends. Always. What was this going to be like? They got to the lounge (the plaque outside said “conference room”), where screens were dividing the room into different sections. Ennis took off for one. Jack didn’t know if he was supposed to follow, until Ennis turned around and gave a little jerk of his head. Okay. Follow.
To Jack’s dismay, Nurse Suzy was standing in the front of their little section. She gave him a sugary sweet smile and patted his head. Jack felt his whole body stiffen. Ennis snorted and shook his head. Jack clenched his teeth together to keep in a rude comment.
“Jack Twist!” Randall boomed out. He was waving for Jack to come over and join him with some other “wheelers,” as he’d called them the other day. Jack glanced at Ennis, who wasn’t looking around at anyone, but had grabbed a seat at the end of the row. Jack waved at Randall and took the spot between Ennis and the wall.
It was school. Jack had to take math, English, history, and Spanish. He controlled an angry outburst, but just barely. Why did he need to know Spanish? He was just going to take over his daddy’s spread, and it wasn’t big enough to even hire hands, so he didn’t need to know any other languages. Although if he had his way he’d expand it and get the place up to speed again, so maybe he’d have to hire some more guys.
This was all assuming he ever walked again.
Jack stopped thinking about that and went back to learning verb endings. At least this school was only four hours instead of the regular six. But there was no P.E. Well, duh, he thought. How could any of us do P.E.?
He and Ennis were taking off, laden with books and homework assignments, when Nurse Suzy called his name in her too-high voice, as if he were a four-year-old or maybe some sort of dangerous animal she was trying to tame.
“You need to go see Dr. LaShawn, Jackie.”
“My name is Jack,” he said with clenched teeth. This woman infuriated him more than any other he’d ever met.
“Okay, off you go.” She was still smiling. Jack longed to punch her. No hitting women. He chanted in his head, reminding himself. He wasn’t his daddy, after all. He headed down to the “administrative ward” still muttering angrily.
“Come on in!” An enthusiastic voice chirped. This door was already cracked open. The woman there was small and blonde and she was positively beaming at Jack. She didn’t look like a doctor.
“Hi there! I’m Dr. LaShawn. You can just call me LaShawn or you can call me Dr. LaShawn, I don’t mind which you choose, but I just need you to know that this is a safe place and you can tell me anything and I want you to be comfortable here because I’m not going to tell your secrets to anyone, not ever.” She smiled at him again and it took him almost a full minute to catch up with her words.
“Oh.” Was all he could say when he finally realized it was his turn to talk.
“Okay, now, John-or do you like Jack better? Jack, right?-I’m a child psychologist and I’ve been working here at Healing Wings for almost two years now and it’s such an amazing place to work, you know, I could’ve opened a private practice but I thought coming here would be a better idea and I was right because you kids are just great!”
“Wait, you’re a shrink?” Jack blurted when she paused for breath. Her smile slipped a little.
“I don’t like that term much, Jack, but yeah, I guess you could say I am!”
Jack was getting a migraine.
“Anyway,” LaShawn was pulling herself back from some tangent she’d been on. “Policy here at Healing Wings is that every patient-that’s you, honey-comes to meet with the psychologist-that’s me-at least once a month, but you can absolutely come any time you want; don’t feel like you wait until your monthly appointment to come see me about any problems you’re having, because that’s why I’m here. My office is a safe place! And for your first month here at the hospital, you’ll come see me every week, just to make sure you’re settling in and everything.”
And then the meeting was over, and Jack realized that in his first therapy session, he’d only said five words. Now, he’d never been to a therapist before, but he was pretty sure the psychologist was supposed to shut up and the patient was supposed to do the babbling. Whatever. He didn’t think he’d be utilizing her much.
Jack and Ennis settled into a nice routine. They stuck together, mostly, and they groused about school and the stupid therapy sessions. LaShawn had come to Healing Wings in the middle of Ennis’s first month there, so he’d had to adjust from an actual therapist to crackpot LaShawn. The good thing about her was that Jack didn’t have to talk about his daddy much; he could turn the conversation over to her and be set for the whole hour.
Jack was slowly getting Ennis to talk more--they argued, mostly, but they did have some of the same opinions, about horses and dogs and such.
“Del Mar!” Some kid came over during dinner one night after Jack’d been there about a week and clapped Ennis on the back. “How much longer you got on your vacation time?” Jack noticed he had the same blue wrist tag as Ennis-he was another cancer patient. Ennis’s eyes cut to Jack for a heartbeat.
“Got another week.” He finally said.
“Another week for what? What vacation? You’re stuck here, what kinda sucky vacation is that?” Jack asked, mouth full of carrots. He’d never had trouble eating his vegetables like some kids, though he preferred the fresh kind his mama picked out of her garden to these frozen ones.
“Uh…”
“Oh, he’s on vacation from chemo right now.” The kid said, sounding like it was no big thing.
“What?” Jack coughed as he choked slightly on his mouthful of carrots. Ennis whacked him on the back a couple times.
“Yeah, Ennis here takes time off from chemo every once in a while. Kinda pisses his doctors off, but they don’t know what to do anymore, so they pretty much let him do whatever he wants.” Again, he sounded like he was explaining a football game to someone instead of how Ennis could very possible die soon. “Well anyway,” he went on. “See you around, del Mar.”
Jack stared at Ennis. “You haven’t been on chemo at all while I’ve known you?”
“Uh…nope.” Ennis coughed. “You’d know. I mean…I sleep a lot. And I prob’ly won’t be eating much. Chemo…well, makes you real sick.”
“But…but you don’t seem sick now. Maybe chemo is what makes you sick more than the actual cancer!” Jack said indignantly. Chemo sounded pretty crappy. Why’d he have to do it if he was fine?
“Well, I’m fine ‘cause the chemo I already had’s been keeping the cancer from spreading. But if you go too long without it, well, it spreads some more and the pain comes back.”
“Oh.” Jack pondered this a while. His eyes landed on Ennis’s hair, starting to get long enough to curl around his ears. “Oh, no!” He exclaimed. “Is your hair gonna fall out?”
Ennis looked at him like he was stupid. “Yeah. It’s just starting to grow back because I haven’t been having chemo. It’ll take a while to fall out, though.”
“Ennis, this sounds like a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation. Chemo makes you feel like shit, but if you don’t do the chemo your cancer comes back? It sounds pretty lose-lose to me.”
“Well…” Ennis didn’t feel like explaining that the cancer wasn’t “coming back”-it’d never really gone away, which was the problem, the reason he still had to do the chemo. “Yeah.” He finished lamely.
“Why does it piss your doctors off?”
Ennis sighed. Cancer and chemo talks tended to get long-winded. “Well…they don’t think it’s a good idea. Just ‘cause they’re doctors, I guess, so deciding not to do treatment anymore seems dumb to them.”
“Then why do you do it?”
“I’d go crazy if I had to chemo all the time.” He moved some of the food on his plate around, not really hungry anymore.
“Ennis…” He wanted to ask if the doctors really didn’t know what else to do for him, but he chickened out at the last second. “You should eat more.”
Ennis quirked his lips to the side. “Whatever you say, Mom.”
“Where is your mom, anyway?” Jack asked. He’d been dying of curiosity. Jack’s mom had come to visit the other day, and it’d got Jack thinking about Ennis’s family. Randall said he couldn’t remember ever seeing Ennis’s parents. What kind of parent left their kid in some hospital for two years and never came to visit? Ennis tensed beside him.
“Dead.” He said shortly.
“Oh, shit! Sorry.”
Ennis shrugged, trying to play it off like it was no big deal. “Her and my daddy. One curve in the road in forty-three miles and they missed it. My brother and sister raised me. Then with the cancer…well, she and K.E. never woulda been able to pay for all the doctors and shit, so…that’s how come me end up here.”
Jack didn’t know what to say. Ennis was still playing with his food, not eating. “Shit.” Jack muttered. “That’s hard.” He was quiet some more. “But, friend, that’s the most you’ve said in a week.”
“Hell, that’s the most I said in two years.” Ennis told him with a quirky little smile.
It was true-he talked to Jack more than he talked to anyone, even more than he’d talked to K.E. or his sister. It scared Ennis. One thing he’d learned was to not get attached to people, because there weren’t no guarantee they were sticking around. But with Jack Twist…
Well, too late. He was hooked.
Jack hung around with Randall for a while, meeting some of the other guys there and getting into a game of poker. He wasn’t winning much, partly because he was distracted, thinking on trying to bust Ennis out of there, and partly because he just wasn’t good at poker. He’d never been too good at keeping his emotions off his face.
When there was about an hour until dinner, Jack was all pokered out. That seemed to be the general consensus, since this kid Mitch kept winning and had pretty much cleaned everyone out. Jack was suspicious that he was cheating-he hadn’t known the guy long, but he already didn’t like him.
“Hey-we ever get to leave here?” Jack asked Randall as they headed to the elevator.
“What do you mean?”
“Like…anyone ever get to go out? Have fun?”
“Uh…” Randall cleared his throat. “Most kids ain’t really in any kind of condition to go out. You know?”
“Guess so.” Jack pondered a minute. “But if a kid was okay enough, and he wanted to go do something, would it be allowed?”
“I don’t know.” Randall admitted. “I don’t think anyone’s ever tried.”
“What?” Jack couldn’t believe his ears. “Nobody’s ever wanted outta here? Everyone’s just fine being cooped up in a gloomy ol’ hospital for as long as the doctor says they gotta be?”
Randall shrugged. “Lotta these kids been sick their whole lives, Jack. They’re used to hospitals and they’re used to…I don’t know. Making fun outta…not so fun.” He shrugged again.
“Huh uh.” Jack shook his head. “Nope. Not me. And not anyone else; not if I can do anything ‘bout it.” He said bye to Randall and went into his room.
“Ennis,” he started. He stopped when he realized Ennis was fast asleep, mouth open, snoring and drooling, the whole nine yards. “Jeez, it’s only four thirty.” Jack muttered. Then he felt bad, because he’d never had cancer, and didn’t that make you tired all the time? He vowed to be as quiet as he possibly could.
Apparently that wasn’t very quiet.
After he dropped his baseball against the floor twice and then bumped into the desk and swore loudly, Ennis stirred, eyelashes fluttering.
“The hell?” He murmured.
“Sorry,” Jack whispered. “You can go back to sleep. I’ll be real quiet; promise.”
“Yeah, right.” Ennis grumbled. Oh, right. Ennis was cranky upon waking, Jack remembered.
“Sorry.” He was still whispering, for some reason. Ennis waved a hand.
“Almost dinner time anyway,” he said with a shrug, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He rubbed his eyes like a little kid, with his fists. Jack felt himself smiling at it. He turned away quickly, not wanting Ennis to catch him staring and smiling at him like some sort of lunatic.
“So I was thinking.” Jack started. He waited for something from Ennis. He got nothing, which he should’ve expected, but still put him out a little. “Um…I think we should go see a movie tomorrow.”
“Movies are only on Friday nights.” Ennis said, getting up and scratching at his belly. Jack tried not to stare at the blond hair there.
“Right, that’s why we’re getting outta here. We’re going to go to a movie theater.” He waited for Ennis to be excited and help him plan. Instead, he got a skeptical look.
“Huh?” Ennis said, eloquent as ever.
“We’re going to the movies.” Jack smiled a very self-satisfied smile. Ennis was still giving him that look like he was out of his head.
“Why?”
“Wha…because! Because it ain’t healthy to be shut inside all the time!”
“Pretty sure the hospital’s prob’ly the healthiest place you could be.” Ennis muttered. Jack ignored that.
“We’re growing boys! We need fresh air!”
“So we’re gonna get it at the movie theater?” Ennis raised his eyebrows. Jack sighed, exasperated.
“Look, we’re going. You’re coming and we’re seeing a movie and we’re going to have a good time!” He added a glare to make his point. Ennis just rolled his eyes and shrugged.
“Whatever. Good luck.”
Jack found out what Ennis’d meant by “good luck” when he tried to put his plan into action later. He was extra polite to the ladies handing out food and made sure to smile real big at the bored nurse on kiddie duty. She smiled a little herself after that. Jack laughed smugly to himself. Still got it.
But after dinner, he had to go to the Big Kahuna, the head director, Mr. Aguirre. He’d never even seen the guy yet, but he figured he had to be pretty cool. He worked at a hospital for kids-surely he’d be an okay kind of guy?
“Come in.” A gruff voice called after Jack knocked on the huge mahogany door. Easier said than done. Jack struggled for a minute, trying to pull the door open and back up, until the secretary spotted his troubles and came over to help.
“Thank you, ma’am,” he said with a big grin. She smiled back. Man, these women were starving for some Jack Twist attention. A natural born flirt, Jack was pretty excited about all these new possibilities.
“Yeah?” The guy behind the desk asked impatiently.
“Well, hi there, sir.” Jack was trying his hardest to be charming. Aguirre’s face remained impassive. “I’m Jack Twist.”
“Ah, the new guy.”
“Um…yeah.” Jack was confused by Aguirre’s sneer. But he plowed ahead anyway, thinking maybe Aguirre was just one of those people who were hard to read. “So I was wondering, sir, if it’d be possible to go out for a little while. For some fun. Sir,” he added again for good measure. Aguirre gave him a look like he was something on the bottom of his boot.
“That’s not a scheduled event.”
“Yeah, but…”
“We stick to a schedule around here, Twist. Now I know kids like you think you’re above things like rules and schedules, but there are kids here who didn’t wind up the way they are because of their own stupidity and they like the way we run things around here.”
“Excuse me?” Jack was bewildered. He’d been there just over twenty-four hours and had been talking to Aguirre for about a minute and a half-how did this guy think he had him all figured out already?
“You rebel types-never done an honest day’s work in your life, always out on your skateboards causing trouble, and then you get hurt and you still think you’re above everyone else.” He shook his head, disgusted, and Jack sat there, stunned, trying to wrap his head around what was happening.
“I…” Jack’s brow furrowed. He swallowed hard.
“Get outta here, Twist. No movies. No unscheduled events. Stick to the rules and keep yourself out of trouble and maybe you’ll get some extra privileges.”
“But…”
“Go on, get out!”
Jack did as he was told, not knowing what else to do. He felt like he’d been slapped in the face. Hurt because of his own stupidity? Never done an honest day’s work? By the time he got back up to his room, he was positively fuming.
“So how’d that go?” Ennis asked with a smirk.
“Who the hell does that Aguirre think he is?” Jack bellowed. Ennis’s eyes widened a little at the unexpected outburst. “He don’t even know me! Says I never done an honest day’s work…I been busting my ass on my daddy’s spread since I was six years old! I got hurt ‘cause I was having some fun; I weren’t breaking no rules, weren’t causing no trouble! He got no right to judge me! No right!”
“What the hell?” Ennis finally found something to say.
“Aguirre! I go in there, polite as punch”-Ennis didn’t point out that that wasn’t how the phrase went-“ask him real nice if we can go out and have some fun, and he just goes off on me! Says I got hurt because of my own stupidity and I’m one of them rebel types a kids who don’t listen to rules or whatever!”
Ennis screwed up his face, thinking. “How did you get hurt?” He asked.
“I was skateboarding.” Jack noticed Ennis raise an eyebrow and that just made him angrier. “Oh, so that automatically makes me a no good slacker, huh? I got hurt skateboarding after a full day of school and finishing all my chores ‘round the ranch and I was just trying to have some fun with my friends! Just ‘cause I ain’t a chicken, everyone thinks I’m some horrible person?!”
“Uh…” Ennis was unused to such emotional outbursts; his family had always been very even-tempered (besides K.E., but even he just ground Ennis’s face into the ground and then was done with it). Jack threw his hands into the air and made a disgusted sound before wheeling out of the room.
He was muttering angrily to himself and not paying attention to where he was going. The halls were pretty much deserted, due to the fact that there were no activities scheduled. Jack was hating this place more and more each minute.
“Hey, where you going?” A nurse, the only other person in the hall, called out to him. Jack wheeled around as sharply as possible (which, admittedly, wasn’t very sharp, new as he was to this whole wheels instead of legs thing) and gave her a hard stare. She was pretty, he noted, but he was pissed so he wasn’t backing down.
“What, a guy can’t even walk around now?” He snapped.
“You ain’t walking.” She pointed out. She said with a mock-fierce look to match his own, and he had to laugh a little despite his best efforts not to.
“I’m Lureen Newsome.” She stuck out her hand.
“Jack Twist.”
“So what’s got you all riled up, Jack Twist?” She leaned against the wall, pretty dark eyes amused at his tantrum.
“Oh…I just…well, I went to Aguirre and asked if me and my roommate could get out of here to see a movie, and he blew up on me!” Jack felt his anger coming back at the memory. Lureen snorted and rolled her eyes.
“Why’d you go to him?” She asked.
“I…huh? I thought I had to.”
“Look, kid, what Aguirre don’t know ain’t hurt him yet, unfortunately.” She grinned at Jack’s surprised look. “You want to take your buddy out, I’m your girl. Who’s your roommate?”
“Ennis del Mar.”
A shadow passed over her face when he told her, but she shook it away quickly and shrugged. “Good luck convincing him to leave.” She said. “He don’t seem to like getting out.” But Jack didn’t seem to hear her; he was already planning.
“When can we go?” Jack asked eagerly.
“Hold your horses. I gotta talk to some of the other nurses, see what we can do. I’ll find you when it’s all settled, okay?” She didn’t wait for him to answer before pushing off the wall and walking away. She swung her hips a little more than was strictly necessary, but Jack didn’t even notice.
The plans were all laid out. Now Jack just had to convince Ennis.
“No.”
“Come on!”
“No.”
“Ennis!”
“Jack!”
“You’re coming.” Jack was giving Ennis his patented stubborn glare. Unfortunately, Ennis was proving just as stubborn.
“I’m not.”
“Ennis!” Jack put his hands on his hips. Sort of. It wasn’t real easy to do while sitting. “I went to all this trouble, and so did the nurses, and you’re just gonna put that all to waste?”
“Uh…” Ennis hesitated. He hated other people to go to any trouble for him.
Jack smelled victory. “I thought you were a better man than that, Ennis, wasting the efforts of all these women.”
“Ugh, fine.” Ennis muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Woo-ee!” Jack whooped. “Let’s go!”
They snuck out as inconspicuously as a guy in a wheelchair and a tall, lanky, somewhat clumsy guy could. So, not really very inconspicuously. Luckily, no one seemed to notice or care that they were walking by, although some kids did give Ennis a second glance, seeing as how he left his room for something other than meals or school just about…never.
They made it to the movie, Lureen smoking and chattering away to Jack as she drove them in one of the hospital’s smaller wheel-chair accessible vans, and Jack found himself faced with a problem he hadn’t counted on-where was he going to sit? Ennis glanced down at him, obviously wondering the same thing. They were pretty early, so they didn’t have to deal with too much annoyance as they stood there stupidly, trying to decide what to do. Lureen, coming up behind them, snorted and led them to the wheelchair-friendly part of the theater. Jack’d never noticed anything like that at the theater at home; maybe it was only here because of the hospital being close?
It was a funny movie. Jack even caught Ennis chuckling once or twice. And afterward, Jack talked Ennis and Lureen into getting ice cream. Lureen got strawberry, Jack got rocky road, and Ennis got vanilla.
“Plain vanilla?” Jack asked incredulously, crunching away. Ennis shrugged.
“Like it.” He mumbled.
“But it’s so…plain. Don’t you want, like, something…more flavorful?”
“Um…no.” But he was eyeing all the flavors.
“Come on, Ennis, get something else. You want it; I can tell.”
“Oh, how would you know?” Ennis muttered. “Happy with what I got.”
Jack let it drop, but it nagged at him the whole ride back to the hospital. What kind of person was afraid to get a different flavor of ice cream? If he wanted a different flavor, why did he stick with vanilla? It just didn’t make any sense to Jack-he didn’t get why anyone wouldn’t take what they wanted.
School. It was a word Jack’d loathed since he was seven. Sure, it was nice to be around other kids and get away from the old man, but he hated being stuck inside all day, sitting at a desk. Maybe it’d be different here? Although-Jack looked around the cafeteria at the other kids-everyone else seemed kind of…zombie like.
“Come on,” Ennis grunted at 8:30. “School.” He grimaced, obviously as enthusiastic about school as Jack was.
Jack sighed. They made their way to the elevators, Jack feeling nervous and jumpy. He’d gone to the same school with the same kids since kindergarten. He’d always had friends. Always. What was this going to be like? They got to the lounge (the plaque outside said “conference room”), where screens were dividing the room into different sections. Ennis took off for one. Jack didn’t know if he was supposed to follow, until Ennis turned around and gave a little jerk of his head. Okay. Follow.
To Jack’s dismay, Nurse Suzy was standing in the front of their little section. She gave him a sugary sweet smile and patted his head. Jack felt his whole body stiffen. Ennis snorted and shook his head. Jack clenched his teeth together to keep in a rude comment.
“Jack Twist!” Randall boomed out. He was waving for Jack to come over and join him with some other “wheelers,” as he’d called them the other day. Jack glanced at Ennis, who wasn’t looking around at anyone, but had grabbed a seat at the end of the row. Jack waved at Randall and took the spot between Ennis and the wall.
It was school. Jack had to take math, English, history, and Spanish. He controlled an angry outburst, but just barely. Why did he need to know Spanish? He was just going to take over his daddy’s spread, and it wasn’t big enough to even hire hands, so he didn’t need to know any other languages. Although if he had his way he’d expand it and get the place up to speed again, so maybe he’d have to hire some more guys.
This was all assuming he ever walked again.
Jack stopped thinking about that and went back to learning verb endings. At least this school was only four hours instead of the regular six. But there was no P.E. Well, duh, he thought. How could any of us do P.E.?
He and Ennis were taking off, laden with books and homework assignments, when Nurse Suzy called his name in her too-high voice, as if he were a four-year-old or maybe some sort of dangerous animal she was trying to tame.
“You need to go see Dr. LaShawn, Jackie.”
“My name is Jack,” he said with clenched teeth. This woman infuriated him more than any other he’d ever met.
“Okay, off you go.” She was still smiling. Jack longed to punch her. No hitting women. He chanted in his head, reminding himself. He wasn’t his daddy, after all. He headed down to the “administrative ward” still muttering angrily.
“Come on in!” An enthusiastic voice chirped. This door was already cracked open. The woman there was small and blonde and she was positively beaming at Jack. She didn’t look like a doctor.
“Hi there! I’m Dr. LaShawn. You can just call me LaShawn or you can call me Dr. LaShawn, I don’t mind which you choose, but I just need you to know that this is a safe place and you can tell me anything and I want you to be comfortable here because I’m not going to tell your secrets to anyone, not ever.” She smiled at him again and it took him almost a full minute to catch up with her words.
“Oh.” Was all he could say when he finally realized it was his turn to talk.
“Okay, now, John-or do you like Jack better? Jack, right?-I’m a child psychologist and I’ve been working here at Healing Wings for almost two years now and it’s such an amazing place to work, you know, I could’ve opened a private practice but I thought coming here would be a better idea and I was right because you kids are just great!”
“Wait, you’re a shrink?” Jack blurted when she paused for breath. Her smile slipped a little.
“I don’t like that term much, Jack, but yeah, I guess you could say I am!”
Jack was getting a migraine.
“Anyway,” LaShawn was pulling herself back from some tangent she’d been on. “Policy here at Healing Wings is that every patient-that’s you, honey-comes to meet with the psychologist-that’s me-at least once a month, but you can absolutely come any time you want; don’t feel like you wait until your monthly appointment to come see me about any problems you’re having, because that’s why I’m here. My office is a safe place! And for your first month here at the hospital, you’ll come see me every week, just to make sure you’re settling in and everything.”
And then the meeting was over, and Jack realized that in his first therapy session, he’d only said five words. Now, he’d never been to a therapist before, but he was pretty sure the psychologist was supposed to shut up and the patient was supposed to do the babbling. Whatever. He didn’t think he’d be utilizing her much.
Jack and Ennis settled into a nice routine. They stuck together, mostly, and they groused about school and the stupid therapy sessions. LaShawn had come to Healing Wings in the middle of Ennis’s first month there, so he’d had to adjust from an actual therapist to crackpot LaShawn. The good thing about her was that Jack didn’t have to talk about his daddy much; he could turn the conversation over to her and be set for the whole hour.
Jack was slowly getting Ennis to talk more--they argued, mostly, but they did have some of the same opinions, about horses and dogs and such.
“Del Mar!” Some kid came over during dinner one night after Jack’d been there about a week and clapped Ennis on the back. “How much longer you got on your vacation time?” Jack noticed he had the same blue wrist tag as Ennis-he was another cancer patient. Ennis’s eyes cut to Jack for a heartbeat.
“Got another week.” He finally said.
“Another week for what? What vacation? You’re stuck here, what kinda sucky vacation is that?” Jack asked, mouth full of carrots. He’d never had trouble eating his vegetables like some kids, though he preferred the fresh kind his mama picked out of her garden to these frozen ones.
“Uh…”
“Oh, he’s on vacation from chemo right now.” The kid said, sounding like it was no big thing.
“What?” Jack coughed as he choked slightly on his mouthful of carrots. Ennis whacked him on the back a couple times.
“Yeah, Ennis here takes time off from chemo every once in a while. Kinda pisses his doctors off, but they don’t know what to do anymore, so they pretty much let him do whatever he wants.” Again, he sounded like he was explaining a football game to someone instead of how Ennis could very possible die soon. “Well anyway,” he went on. “See you around, del Mar.”
Jack stared at Ennis. “You haven’t been on chemo at all while I’ve known you?”
“Uh…nope.” Ennis coughed. “You’d know. I mean…I sleep a lot. And I prob’ly won’t be eating much. Chemo…well, makes you real sick.”
“But…but you don’t seem sick now. Maybe chemo is what makes you sick more than the actual cancer!” Jack said indignantly. Chemo sounded pretty crappy. Why’d he have to do it if he was fine?
“Well, I’m fine ‘cause the chemo I already had’s been keeping the cancer from spreading. But if you go too long without it, well, it spreads some more and the pain comes back.”
“Oh.” Jack pondered this a while. His eyes landed on Ennis’s hair, starting to get long enough to curl around his ears. “Oh, no!” He exclaimed. “Is your hair gonna fall out?”
Ennis looked at him like he was stupid. “Yeah. It’s just starting to grow back because I haven’t been having chemo. It’ll take a while to fall out, though.”
“Ennis, this sounds like a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation. Chemo makes you feel like shit, but if you don’t do the chemo your cancer comes back? It sounds pretty lose-lose to me.”
“Well…” Ennis didn’t feel like explaining that the cancer wasn’t “coming back”-it’d never really gone away, which was the problem, the reason he still had to do the chemo. “Yeah.” He finished lamely.
“Why does it piss your doctors off?”
Ennis sighed. Cancer and chemo talks tended to get long-winded. “Well…they don’t think it’s a good idea. Just ‘cause they’re doctors, I guess, so deciding not to do treatment anymore seems dumb to them.”
“Then why do you do it?”
“I’d go crazy if I had to chemo all the time.” He moved some of the food on his plate around, not really hungry anymore.
“Ennis…” He wanted to ask if the doctors really didn’t know what else to do for him, but he chickened out at the last second. “You should eat more.”
Ennis quirked his lips to the side. “Whatever you say, Mom.”
“Where is your mom, anyway?” Jack asked. He’d been dying of curiosity. Jack’s mom had come to visit the other day, and it’d got Jack thinking about Ennis’s family. Randall said he couldn’t remember ever seeing Ennis’s parents. What kind of parent left their kid in some hospital for two years and never came to visit? Ennis tensed beside him.
“Dead.” He said shortly.
“Oh, shit! Sorry.”
Ennis shrugged, trying to play it off like it was no big deal. “Her and my daddy. One curve in the road in forty-three miles and they missed it. My brother and sister raised me. Then with the cancer…well, she and K.E. never woulda been able to pay for all the doctors and shit, so…that’s how come me end up here.”
Jack didn’t know what to say. Ennis was still playing with his food, not eating. “Shit.” Jack muttered. “That’s hard.” He was quiet some more. “But, friend, that’s the most you’ve said in a week.”
“Hell, that’s the most I said in two years.” Ennis told him with a quirky little smile.
It was true-he talked to Jack more than he talked to anyone, even more than he’d talked to K.E. or his sister. It scared Ennis. One thing he’d learned was to not get attached to people, because there weren’t no guarantee they were sticking around. But with Jack Twist…
Well, too late. He was hooked.