WPFAAT, Chapter 16
The end is in sight! I think we've got three or four more chapters and then an epilogue. It's so weird to be so close to the finishing this!
They all crammed in the cab of the truck, the close quarters doing nothing to help the tense situation. Junior was jammed between Ennis and Bobby. In different circumstances, Junior would’ve laughed at their matching scowls. As it was, she decided to stay quiet.
Jack threw the truck into park jerkily. Bobby wrenched the door open and got out. Junior sighed and followed. Jack and Ennis stayed put for a minute, murmuring. Bobby was swearing under his breath as he stomped into the house, kicking at the loose gravel of the driveway and slamming the front door behind him.
Once all four of them had assembled, Jack took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. It was the only sound in the room besides Buddy’s excited panting. He’d jumped on Bobby right away and was currently sniffing at his cast.
“Okay.” Jack said evenly. “Let’s talk about this.”
“Daddy, it wasn’t-I mean, it’s my fault. I was running my mouth ‘bout how great I am on a bull and how I could mop the floor with those other guys and she just…well, I said I was going to ride and she said okay.” Bobby figured a little lie wasn’t going to hurt anyone. Well, maybe just himself, but he’d get over it.
“But why’d she say you could do it?” Jack asked, sounding more frustrated than angry now. “You’re seventeen years old.”
“How old were you when you got on a bull for the first time?” Bobby shot back.
“Bobby, that’s different.”
“How?”
Jack opened and closed his mouth a few times, then gave Ennis a help me out here! look. Ennis shrugged.
“’S different ‘cause guys go to school for it now.” Ennis supplied.
“Yes,” Jack agreed. “There you go. All them other guys trained and knew what they were doing.”
“None of them other guys knew what they were doing. The closest to me only made it five seconds.”
Jack was losing steam. He still wanted to yell at someone…his boy had a cast on his arm! He just didn’t know how to justify it so he wouldn’t look like the bad guy.
“”Sides,” Bobby continued. “How else am I gonna learn? That’s how you learned-just got up there one day.”
“I know, but that’s ‘cause my daddy wouldn’t teach me. I coulda helped you, Bob.”
“Daddy, there’s no law saying you can’t teach me anything just ‘cause I already did it once. I still don’t know how I stayed on and I prob’ly couldn’t do it again. So if that’s the real problem here-”
“It’s not the real problem!” Ennis interjected. “The problem is we sent you to Texas in once piece and she sends you back broken.”
Buddy found himself dumped unceremoniously onto the ground when Bobby stood up angrily, his hands immediately finding his hips.
“I’m not a damn package.” He started angrily.
“That ain’t what I meant and you know it.”
“Yeah, well, how many bones have I broken right here at home?” Bobby pointed out. That sufficiently stumped Jack and Ennis. After all, he’d already broken that arm once, and an ankle and wrist, too.
“Well, she still shoulda told us.” Jack said, desperate for a reason to be mad at Lureen.
“I told her not to.”
“Well, tough balls.” Ennis said. “She’s the parent, not you.”
Bobby didn’t have an answer for that one. “Well…I know you’re gonna call her. But could you please just…don’t yell at her, okay? She’s not used to being the parent and I know-” Bobby held up a hand to ward off any angry outbursts-“it’s mostly her fault, but still. If I can cut her some slack, can’t you?”
Ennis just shrugged. Part of him still wanted to ban Bobby from ever seeing Lureen again, if this was the kind of care he was getting out there. But it wasn’t like parenting was an easy job, and Bobby did have his daddy’s sense for bragging.
Jack pulled Bobby in for a one-armed hug, a soft smile on his face. “When’d you become such a man, huh?” He let Bobby go and looked at him, eye to eye now because Bobby was as tall as him. Jack shook his head. “Musta been when we weren’t looking.” Bobby shrugged and dropped back onto the couch beside Junior. Seeing the two of them side by side reminded Jack of their subterfuge.
“Oh, one other thing.” Jack said, not mad anymore and trying to stave off the amusement that was trying to creep it. “You don’t tell Junior ‘bout it before you tell us and then try to get her to smooth the path for you.”
Bobby and Junior both grinned sheepishly, pushing the last of the anger out of Jack. How could he stay mad when they were getting along so well? Bobby stood up again, grabbing his suitcase with his good hand. On his way out of the room, he stopped and asked,
“But what’s the use of getting a sister if you can’t even conspire with her?” He went up the stairs, chuckling to himself, oblivious to the three people he’d left stunned in the room behind him.
Having the four of them back together again was strange for Junior. Strange because it wasn’t strange. It was familiar and warm and it made her happy. It really did. Junior had always wished her mama would remarry and have more kids. She’d always imagined a sister, though-a sister she could share a room with, that she could stay up all night giggling and talking about boys with, that she could share clothes with. The thought of sharing clothes with Bobby made her snort right out loud, making the three men at the table stare at her like she was crazy. She shrugged.
“Thought of something funny.” She told them, then went back to her potatoes and her thoughts. Did she think of Bobby as her brother? Well she didn’t really know, seeing as how she’d never had a brother and didn’t have any feelings to base it on. She was pretty sure she did. She definitely didn’t have any romantic feelings for him. Not that he wasn’t a good looking kid, but…well. So then she must think of him as her brother. Right?
“Junior?” Ennis called her back from whatever planet she’d been on. “You gonna draw something on Bobby’s cast?” He was holding the permanent marker out to her.
“Oh.” She reached for it. “Yeah. Thank you.”
Jack and Ennis cleared the table as Junior tried to think of something to draw. She wasn’t exactly an artist. They could hear Jack and Ennis doing the dishes, clanking dishes around and splashing each other like teenagers. The phone rang and Jack grabbed it.
“Bobby, it’s Kurt.” He called. They heard the unmistakable crack of a wet towel snapping and his howl of “Goddamn, Ennis! That hurt like a sumbitch and you better sleep with one eye open ‘cause I swear on your life I will get you back!” Ennis was giggling like a little boy and Junior couldn’t help but smile at the sound. She’d never heard it.
“Hey, Daddy?” Bobby cut into their roughhousing in the kitchen. “Is it all right if Kurt comes over? And brings some of the kids?”
“What? Yeah, sure, it’s fine.” He was a little distracted, having Ennis in a headlock on the kitchen floor and all. He let Ennis up, since this wrestling match couldn’t go where they’d like it to, what with the kids home and more on their way. “Later.” He told Ennis, trying to look menacing. Since they were still on the ground and Bobby and Junior couldn’t see them, Ennis didn’t mind stealing a quick kiss.
“I’ll take that as a promise.” He said with a wink and a wicked grin.
When the McGowan kids showed up, Snappy included in that package, the noise level reached astronomical heights. Everyone exclaimed over Bobby’s broken arm and fought over the pen to write silly messages and draw pictures. Gretty was sitting in his lap and wouldn’t move for the world.
“How’s your mama doing?” Jack asked Lousia. They were in the kitchen rustling up some treats. Jack had offered and Junior had suggested Louisa help him, because no one trusted him to do it by himself. “Ain’t seen her in a while.”
Louisa shrugged, stirring the chocolate pudding they’d found in the pantry. “We thought things were getting better, you know, but since Christmas…well, Christmas was tough.”
Jack gave her a searching look. “Tough for everyone,” he observed softly. Louisa bit her lip and nodded silently. “You guys are all so close…can’t imagine how hard that must be.” He went on. Louisa was losing a fight against tears.
“And it’s even worse ‘cause…” She hesitated. “Well, I mean, we can’t talk about it, ever. I mean, sometimes us kids do, we talk about missing him and we talk about fun stuff we did with him, but…I can’t ever tell my dad I miss Roger because he can’t handle it and I certainly can’t talk to my mom and sometimes I just want Gretty to go away and I know that’s bad but I just…I just…” She was all-out crying now, and Jack moved over to her and hugged her tight, letting her lean into his chest the way she couldn’t lean on her daddy just yet.
But all these months of being strong and taking over the mother role cut her tears short. She pulled away, hiccuping and wiping her eyes, looking quick to the dining room to see if anyone had caught her. Everyone was engrossed in whatever Max was drawing on Bobby’s cast.
“Sorry.” Louisa said, embarrassed.
“Hey, no, you don’t have to be sorry.” Jack chided gently. “And listen, if you ever need to talk ‘bout it, or if you need to go be with your friends and don’t know what to do with the kids, you go ahead and call me and Ennis, okay?”
“Well, I couldn’t-”
“Yes, you could. You can. And you better, you hear me?”
“Okay,” she agreed with a smile.
“Ahh, there’s that smile.” He gave her one of his own. “Ready to go back out there?” She nodded, brave face back in place, and led the way. Jack kept sneaking looks at Junior. He wondered why he could hold Louisa while she cried but not Junior. Part of the problem was that Junior wouldn’t let him-he knew that. But he wouldn’t have thought Louisa would, either.
In bed that night, Jack told Ennis about Louisa’s breakdown. Ennis frowned, worried. “I don’t like that she has to be their mama.” He murmured, thinking on his own big sister. “She’s too young.”
“I know.” Jack agreed. “All them kids have too much responsibility, taking care of each other like that.”
“Well, least they got each other.”
Jack made an agreeing noise and rolled over to look into Ennis’s face. “I just got worried…I mean, if Louisa feels overwhelmed and can’t talk ‘bout it, don’t you think maybe Junior’s feeling some of those same things?”
Ennis was quiet for a long time. “Yes.” He finally whispered. “She is.”
Jack told Junior and Bobby over breakfast about his trip. Bobby frowned. “But I just got home.” He grumbled. He was grumpy because they had to go back to school. And the rate they were going, they were definitely going to be late.
“I know, bud, and I’m sorry. But I don’t think I can not go.”
“How long you gonna be gone?” Junior asked, wanting to contribute to the conversation and not wanting Bobby to whine about it anymore.
“Five days.” He answered glumly, getting an equally glum look from Ennis. The table was just plain gloomy with the prospect of being separated some more. And school.
“Hey, you kids better get going.” Jack said hurriedly. “Shit, how you gonna get to school?”
“I can drive.” Bobby protested.
“Bobby, you broke your right arm; you need it to shift. Hurry, get your stuff and I’ll run you in.”
They scrambled to find backpacks and books and shoes and coats and Jack went on his daily manhunt for his keys and Ennis sat at the kitchen table, taking it all in. Junior kept pushing her long curtain of hair away impatiently as she tied her shoes, grumbling to herself that she was just going to shave it all off. Bobby kept muttering as he shoved books into his backpack and rearranged them when it wouldn’t zip shut. Jack was cursing as he slammed drawers and shoved things aside. And to top it all off, Buddy started whining when he realized Bobby was leaving him again.
Ennis wished he could record the sounds for the long days ahead when the kids’d be at school and Jack’d be at his conference and Ennis’d be left in the silent house by himself. Well, he’d still have a whining Buddy on his hands, but it wasn’t quite enough.
“Well, I can’t find my keys.” Jack finally exploded, frustrated as all get out. “But I found Ennis’s, so get out there.”
The kids obediently went outside, both complaining about school, though Bobby was certainly winning the whining competition.
“Hey.” Jack said softly, pulling Ennis back. “You alright?”
“Yeah.” Ennis shook the lonesome thoughts from his head. “Just thinking.”
“Well, don’t hurt yourself.” Jack teased gently. He dropped three or four quick, chaste kisses on Ennis’s lips before someone-he assumed Bobby, because Junior was too polite-honked the horn several times. He left a last one in Ennis’s hair and said, “Be back ‘fore you know it.”
Ennis started in on the dishes, taking more time than was strictly necessary. He could see, from the kitchen window, Joel telling Jeremy and David what needed doing. There wasn’t much, since calving was over and the calves weren’t old enough for branding or weaning yet. They had a mare ready to drop a foal any day now, but she wasn’t much work until she started having the thing and even then, that was Jack and Ennis’s job first, the hands’ job second. She’d probably foal while Jack was away. Damn. Jack loved the newborns, and this meant Ennis’d have to pick a name, which he was terrible at.
He finished the dishes and wondered what else to do. Oh, wasn’t there some laundry that needed doing? He could do laundry. He felt vaguely guilty for being warm inside, doing laundry, while the hands were out in the biting cold handling his ranch, but that was one of the beauties of being the boss. You didn’t have to be out there all the time. But wasn’t that the point of having your own spread?
The slamming door pulled him out of his musings.
“Ennis?” Jack called.
“In here, bud.”
“Mm, laundry, I see.” Jack nodded approvingly.
“Getting pretty damn good at it.” Ennis said with a touch of pride.
“Well, I’d hope so. We been trading off for sixteen years. It ain’t rocket science.”
“Hey, you’re the one who got us stuck with yellow socks and underwear last month, not me.” Ennis pointed out, letting the dryer door close with a bang.
“How was I s’posed to know Junior’s sweater was gonna bleed?” Jack shrugged blithely. “Don’t worry; I don’t think any less of ya for your yellow underwear.” He added reassuringly. Ennis shook his head, chortling.
“So, what should we do today?” Ennis asked. “Gotta go out and check on Starshine sometime, but I don’t think it’s her day. Too bad for her; she’s starting to look pretty miserable. And then I thought we’d ride up to-”
“Ennis.” Jack interrupted. “You wanna know what I want to do today?” He had that look in his eyes that meant yes, Ennis did want to hear it.
“What’s that?” Ennis grinned a little, anticipating what was next.
“I want to go upstairs, take off all my clothes, and spend the day in bed.”
“That so?”
“Mmhmm. Have fun doing whatever you’re doing.” He started scurrying up the stairs, laughing.
“Hey!” Ennis hustled after him, not wanting to miss a second of it. He caught up to Jack on the stairs and grabbed him around the hips. “Don’t think it’d be nearly as fun all by your lonesome, huh? Maybe you need some company.”
“You know, I was hoping you’d say that.”
Bobby hated stupid school. He hated reading and he hated math and he hated people staring at him and giggling behind his back. He was hoping things would’ve died off by now, but no such luck. No other scandals had arisen, so he was still the number one target. He made it through his morning classes and met up with Junior and Kurt for lunch. As they pushed their way through the crowd, Bobby spotted Kimmi Jane and immediately flushed. He felt like a horrible asshole every time he thought about it. He wasn’t that kind of guy! He wasn’t a one night stand guy.
“Oh, hey, Bobby.” She said, feeling the awkwardness same as him. Bobby nodded to her and gave her a smile. “What happened to your arm?”
“Oh…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I was, uh, bull riding over Christmas break and I fell off.”
“Bull riding? That is so sexy.” She purred and laid a hand on his arm. “Does it hurt?” She asked simperingly, tossing her long blonde hair.
“Not too much.” He answered, backing away a little. He glanced over and noticed Junior’s lip curling dangerously. She was giving Kimmi Jane the same kind of look she used to give Jack and Ennis, when she’d first come to live with them. “Uh, so, I’ll see you later.” Bobby said quickly, wanting to hurry Junior away before she launched herself on Kimmi Jane.
“What was that all about?” Kurt asked as soon as they were out of earshot, at the same time that Junior growled,
“Ugh, I hate her!”
Kurt gave Junior a confused look. “You do?”
“Yes! She’s such a…a slut!” Junior flushed as the word passed her lips.
“Whoa! That’s a strong word.”
“Um, she kind of is.” Bobby cut in apologetically. “Has been since we were like thirteen.”
“Oh. But… you hate her for that?”
“I hate her for the way she uses people and the way she’s only nice to guys when she wants to sleep with them.” Junior spat the words in Kimmi Jane’s direction, a murderous look on her face.
“Well, does it really affect you? Is that a good reason to hate her?”
Bobby worked to keep his face normal. This conversation was getting a tad uncomfortable for him. He hadn’t told Kurt about the whole Kimmi Jane…situation.
“Yes,” Junior said defensively. “It is. God, Kurt, do you have to be so nice to everyone, all the time?”
“Well, excuse me for being a nice guy.”
“You can be a nice guy without-”
“Hey!” Bobby interrupted their spat. “Junior hates her because I slept with her and then she just blew me off.” He blushed and said most of it to his lunch, but at least he’d said it. Kurt’s eyes bugged out and his mouth dropped open.
“You had sex with her?” Kurt exclaimed in a half-whisper. Bobby sighed.
“Yeah.”
Kurt craned his neck to look at her again. “Why?!” Junior snorted at the disgust in his voice. Bobby dropped his head to his hands.
“Because she was wearing the shortest, tightest little skirt I’ve ever seen and she has nice legs and she was all over me and I was so sick of everyone ignoring me or making fun of me and plus, you know what? I was horny! Okay?!”
He chanced a look up and saw Kurt and Junior both looking shocked by his outburst. He turned even redder when he realized he’d just said the word horny in front of Junior. He focused on the table top for a minute before murmuring, “I never said I was proud of it.”
“Wow.” Kurt said quietly, picking up his sandwich and taking a bite. “Your life’s such a soap opera, Bobby.”
“Hello?” Lureen already sounded annoyed.
“Hey Lureen, it’s Jack.”
“Oh, I was surprised I didn’t hear from y’all last night when Bobby got home.” She said dryly.
Jack laughed with no humor. “Yeah…well, I’m not gonna say I didn’t fly off the handle a bit when I saw the cast-”
“I bet.”
“-But Bobby explained it all.”
Awkward silence.
“Well, I really am sorry.” Lureen said. Jack could hear the sincerity in her voice. “I’m afraid he didn’t have a very good time, what with Daddy upsetting him and breaking his arm and then my New Year’s party…” She sighed. “I don’t even know him.” She said it quietly, more to herself than to Jack.
“Well, you know…” He shrugged, though she couldn’t see it. “Better late than never. And he said he had a good time.”
“He did?”
“Sure.” It wasn’t really a lie. He hadn’t said he’d had a bad time, anyway.
“Well. You, um, you’ve done a good job raising him, Jack.”
“Thanks, Lureen. But mostly I think we got lucky.”
She clammed up at the “we” in that statement. It was strange, in a way, to hear him talking about raising their son and knowing that “we” didn’t include her. “Well, he sure stood up to Daddy.” She said with a little laugh.
“Yeah, you mentioned that before, and he kinda did but he didn’t tell us what that whole thing was about. What happened?”
Lureen took a deep breath. Should she really tell him? He probably had an idea anyway. “Well, you know Daddy. He has his opinions and he ain’t worried about expressing ‘em.”
“Mm. I see. Oh well. I mean, I don’t worry too much what he thinks about me.” Jack chuckled, glad she couldn’t see the anger on his face.
“He…Jack, he wasn’t saying anything about you. He was saying some nasty things about...”
“Ennis?” Jack blurted, surprised. L.D. didn’t even know Ennis.
“Uh, yeah. Sorry.”
Jack fought the urge to fill the silence with some choice words about L.D.’s opinions. But it wouldn’t help anything, and Lureen didn’t deserve that.
“How is your daddy, anyway? Getting any better?”
“No. He’s pretty bad. He’s…he’s gonna die soon.” Someone who didn’t know her wouldn’t have heard the crack in her voice, but Jack did.
“Oh, Lu.” He sighed. “I sure am sorry. For you.”
“Thanks.” She cleared her throat. “Well, thanks for calling.” She said briskly, a businesswoman again. “I should get back to work.”
“Alright. You can call anytime you want, Lureen, you know that, right?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Jack. I’ll talk to you later.”
Jack sighed and hung up the phone. At least he hadn’t yelled at her.
They all crammed in the cab of the truck, the close quarters doing nothing to help the tense situation. Junior was jammed between Ennis and Bobby. In different circumstances, Junior would’ve laughed at their matching scowls. As it was, she decided to stay quiet.
Jack threw the truck into park jerkily. Bobby wrenched the door open and got out. Junior sighed and followed. Jack and Ennis stayed put for a minute, murmuring. Bobby was swearing under his breath as he stomped into the house, kicking at the loose gravel of the driveway and slamming the front door behind him.
Once all four of them had assembled, Jack took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. It was the only sound in the room besides Buddy’s excited panting. He’d jumped on Bobby right away and was currently sniffing at his cast.
“Okay.” Jack said evenly. “Let’s talk about this.”
“Daddy, it wasn’t-I mean, it’s my fault. I was running my mouth ‘bout how great I am on a bull and how I could mop the floor with those other guys and she just…well, I said I was going to ride and she said okay.” Bobby figured a little lie wasn’t going to hurt anyone. Well, maybe just himself, but he’d get over it.
“But why’d she say you could do it?” Jack asked, sounding more frustrated than angry now. “You’re seventeen years old.”
“How old were you when you got on a bull for the first time?” Bobby shot back.
“Bobby, that’s different.”
“How?”
Jack opened and closed his mouth a few times, then gave Ennis a help me out here! look. Ennis shrugged.
“’S different ‘cause guys go to school for it now.” Ennis supplied.
“Yes,” Jack agreed. “There you go. All them other guys trained and knew what they were doing.”
“None of them other guys knew what they were doing. The closest to me only made it five seconds.”
Jack was losing steam. He still wanted to yell at someone…his boy had a cast on his arm! He just didn’t know how to justify it so he wouldn’t look like the bad guy.
“”Sides,” Bobby continued. “How else am I gonna learn? That’s how you learned-just got up there one day.”
“I know, but that’s ‘cause my daddy wouldn’t teach me. I coulda helped you, Bob.”
“Daddy, there’s no law saying you can’t teach me anything just ‘cause I already did it once. I still don’t know how I stayed on and I prob’ly couldn’t do it again. So if that’s the real problem here-”
“It’s not the real problem!” Ennis interjected. “The problem is we sent you to Texas in once piece and she sends you back broken.”
Buddy found himself dumped unceremoniously onto the ground when Bobby stood up angrily, his hands immediately finding his hips.
“I’m not a damn package.” He started angrily.
“That ain’t what I meant and you know it.”
“Yeah, well, how many bones have I broken right here at home?” Bobby pointed out. That sufficiently stumped Jack and Ennis. After all, he’d already broken that arm once, and an ankle and wrist, too.
“Well, she still shoulda told us.” Jack said, desperate for a reason to be mad at Lureen.
“I told her not to.”
“Well, tough balls.” Ennis said. “She’s the parent, not you.”
Bobby didn’t have an answer for that one. “Well…I know you’re gonna call her. But could you please just…don’t yell at her, okay? She’s not used to being the parent and I know-” Bobby held up a hand to ward off any angry outbursts-“it’s mostly her fault, but still. If I can cut her some slack, can’t you?”
Ennis just shrugged. Part of him still wanted to ban Bobby from ever seeing Lureen again, if this was the kind of care he was getting out there. But it wasn’t like parenting was an easy job, and Bobby did have his daddy’s sense for bragging.
Jack pulled Bobby in for a one-armed hug, a soft smile on his face. “When’d you become such a man, huh?” He let Bobby go and looked at him, eye to eye now because Bobby was as tall as him. Jack shook his head. “Musta been when we weren’t looking.” Bobby shrugged and dropped back onto the couch beside Junior. Seeing the two of them side by side reminded Jack of their subterfuge.
“Oh, one other thing.” Jack said, not mad anymore and trying to stave off the amusement that was trying to creep it. “You don’t tell Junior ‘bout it before you tell us and then try to get her to smooth the path for you.”
Bobby and Junior both grinned sheepishly, pushing the last of the anger out of Jack. How could he stay mad when they were getting along so well? Bobby stood up again, grabbing his suitcase with his good hand. On his way out of the room, he stopped and asked,
“But what’s the use of getting a sister if you can’t even conspire with her?” He went up the stairs, chuckling to himself, oblivious to the three people he’d left stunned in the room behind him.
Having the four of them back together again was strange for Junior. Strange because it wasn’t strange. It was familiar and warm and it made her happy. It really did. Junior had always wished her mama would remarry and have more kids. She’d always imagined a sister, though-a sister she could share a room with, that she could stay up all night giggling and talking about boys with, that she could share clothes with. The thought of sharing clothes with Bobby made her snort right out loud, making the three men at the table stare at her like she was crazy. She shrugged.
“Thought of something funny.” She told them, then went back to her potatoes and her thoughts. Did she think of Bobby as her brother? Well she didn’t really know, seeing as how she’d never had a brother and didn’t have any feelings to base it on. She was pretty sure she did. She definitely didn’t have any romantic feelings for him. Not that he wasn’t a good looking kid, but…well. So then she must think of him as her brother. Right?
“Junior?” Ennis called her back from whatever planet she’d been on. “You gonna draw something on Bobby’s cast?” He was holding the permanent marker out to her.
“Oh.” She reached for it. “Yeah. Thank you.”
Jack and Ennis cleared the table as Junior tried to think of something to draw. She wasn’t exactly an artist. They could hear Jack and Ennis doing the dishes, clanking dishes around and splashing each other like teenagers. The phone rang and Jack grabbed it.
“Bobby, it’s Kurt.” He called. They heard the unmistakable crack of a wet towel snapping and his howl of “Goddamn, Ennis! That hurt like a sumbitch and you better sleep with one eye open ‘cause I swear on your life I will get you back!” Ennis was giggling like a little boy and Junior couldn’t help but smile at the sound. She’d never heard it.
“Hey, Daddy?” Bobby cut into their roughhousing in the kitchen. “Is it all right if Kurt comes over? And brings some of the kids?”
“What? Yeah, sure, it’s fine.” He was a little distracted, having Ennis in a headlock on the kitchen floor and all. He let Ennis up, since this wrestling match couldn’t go where they’d like it to, what with the kids home and more on their way. “Later.” He told Ennis, trying to look menacing. Since they were still on the ground and Bobby and Junior couldn’t see them, Ennis didn’t mind stealing a quick kiss.
“I’ll take that as a promise.” He said with a wink and a wicked grin.
When the McGowan kids showed up, Snappy included in that package, the noise level reached astronomical heights. Everyone exclaimed over Bobby’s broken arm and fought over the pen to write silly messages and draw pictures. Gretty was sitting in his lap and wouldn’t move for the world.
“How’s your mama doing?” Jack asked Lousia. They were in the kitchen rustling up some treats. Jack had offered and Junior had suggested Louisa help him, because no one trusted him to do it by himself. “Ain’t seen her in a while.”
Louisa shrugged, stirring the chocolate pudding they’d found in the pantry. “We thought things were getting better, you know, but since Christmas…well, Christmas was tough.”
Jack gave her a searching look. “Tough for everyone,” he observed softly. Louisa bit her lip and nodded silently. “You guys are all so close…can’t imagine how hard that must be.” He went on. Louisa was losing a fight against tears.
“And it’s even worse ‘cause…” She hesitated. “Well, I mean, we can’t talk about it, ever. I mean, sometimes us kids do, we talk about missing him and we talk about fun stuff we did with him, but…I can’t ever tell my dad I miss Roger because he can’t handle it and I certainly can’t talk to my mom and sometimes I just want Gretty to go away and I know that’s bad but I just…I just…” She was all-out crying now, and Jack moved over to her and hugged her tight, letting her lean into his chest the way she couldn’t lean on her daddy just yet.
But all these months of being strong and taking over the mother role cut her tears short. She pulled away, hiccuping and wiping her eyes, looking quick to the dining room to see if anyone had caught her. Everyone was engrossed in whatever Max was drawing on Bobby’s cast.
“Sorry.” Louisa said, embarrassed.
“Hey, no, you don’t have to be sorry.” Jack chided gently. “And listen, if you ever need to talk ‘bout it, or if you need to go be with your friends and don’t know what to do with the kids, you go ahead and call me and Ennis, okay?”
“Well, I couldn’t-”
“Yes, you could. You can. And you better, you hear me?”
“Okay,” she agreed with a smile.
“Ahh, there’s that smile.” He gave her one of his own. “Ready to go back out there?” She nodded, brave face back in place, and led the way. Jack kept sneaking looks at Junior. He wondered why he could hold Louisa while she cried but not Junior. Part of the problem was that Junior wouldn’t let him-he knew that. But he wouldn’t have thought Louisa would, either.
In bed that night, Jack told Ennis about Louisa’s breakdown. Ennis frowned, worried. “I don’t like that she has to be their mama.” He murmured, thinking on his own big sister. “She’s too young.”
“I know.” Jack agreed. “All them kids have too much responsibility, taking care of each other like that.”
“Well, least they got each other.”
Jack made an agreeing noise and rolled over to look into Ennis’s face. “I just got worried…I mean, if Louisa feels overwhelmed and can’t talk ‘bout it, don’t you think maybe Junior’s feeling some of those same things?”
Ennis was quiet for a long time. “Yes.” He finally whispered. “She is.”
Jack told Junior and Bobby over breakfast about his trip. Bobby frowned. “But I just got home.” He grumbled. He was grumpy because they had to go back to school. And the rate they were going, they were definitely going to be late.
“I know, bud, and I’m sorry. But I don’t think I can not go.”
“How long you gonna be gone?” Junior asked, wanting to contribute to the conversation and not wanting Bobby to whine about it anymore.
“Five days.” He answered glumly, getting an equally glum look from Ennis. The table was just plain gloomy with the prospect of being separated some more. And school.
“Hey, you kids better get going.” Jack said hurriedly. “Shit, how you gonna get to school?”
“I can drive.” Bobby protested.
“Bobby, you broke your right arm; you need it to shift. Hurry, get your stuff and I’ll run you in.”
They scrambled to find backpacks and books and shoes and coats and Jack went on his daily manhunt for his keys and Ennis sat at the kitchen table, taking it all in. Junior kept pushing her long curtain of hair away impatiently as she tied her shoes, grumbling to herself that she was just going to shave it all off. Bobby kept muttering as he shoved books into his backpack and rearranged them when it wouldn’t zip shut. Jack was cursing as he slammed drawers and shoved things aside. And to top it all off, Buddy started whining when he realized Bobby was leaving him again.
Ennis wished he could record the sounds for the long days ahead when the kids’d be at school and Jack’d be at his conference and Ennis’d be left in the silent house by himself. Well, he’d still have a whining Buddy on his hands, but it wasn’t quite enough.
“Well, I can’t find my keys.” Jack finally exploded, frustrated as all get out. “But I found Ennis’s, so get out there.”
The kids obediently went outside, both complaining about school, though Bobby was certainly winning the whining competition.
“Hey.” Jack said softly, pulling Ennis back. “You alright?”
“Yeah.” Ennis shook the lonesome thoughts from his head. “Just thinking.”
“Well, don’t hurt yourself.” Jack teased gently. He dropped three or four quick, chaste kisses on Ennis’s lips before someone-he assumed Bobby, because Junior was too polite-honked the horn several times. He left a last one in Ennis’s hair and said, “Be back ‘fore you know it.”
Ennis started in on the dishes, taking more time than was strictly necessary. He could see, from the kitchen window, Joel telling Jeremy and David what needed doing. There wasn’t much, since calving was over and the calves weren’t old enough for branding or weaning yet. They had a mare ready to drop a foal any day now, but she wasn’t much work until she started having the thing and even then, that was Jack and Ennis’s job first, the hands’ job second. She’d probably foal while Jack was away. Damn. Jack loved the newborns, and this meant Ennis’d have to pick a name, which he was terrible at.
He finished the dishes and wondered what else to do. Oh, wasn’t there some laundry that needed doing? He could do laundry. He felt vaguely guilty for being warm inside, doing laundry, while the hands were out in the biting cold handling his ranch, but that was one of the beauties of being the boss. You didn’t have to be out there all the time. But wasn’t that the point of having your own spread?
The slamming door pulled him out of his musings.
“Ennis?” Jack called.
“In here, bud.”
“Mm, laundry, I see.” Jack nodded approvingly.
“Getting pretty damn good at it.” Ennis said with a touch of pride.
“Well, I’d hope so. We been trading off for sixteen years. It ain’t rocket science.”
“Hey, you’re the one who got us stuck with yellow socks and underwear last month, not me.” Ennis pointed out, letting the dryer door close with a bang.
“How was I s’posed to know Junior’s sweater was gonna bleed?” Jack shrugged blithely. “Don’t worry; I don’t think any less of ya for your yellow underwear.” He added reassuringly. Ennis shook his head, chortling.
“So, what should we do today?” Ennis asked. “Gotta go out and check on Starshine sometime, but I don’t think it’s her day. Too bad for her; she’s starting to look pretty miserable. And then I thought we’d ride up to-”
“Ennis.” Jack interrupted. “You wanna know what I want to do today?” He had that look in his eyes that meant yes, Ennis did want to hear it.
“What’s that?” Ennis grinned a little, anticipating what was next.
“I want to go upstairs, take off all my clothes, and spend the day in bed.”
“That so?”
“Mmhmm. Have fun doing whatever you’re doing.” He started scurrying up the stairs, laughing.
“Hey!” Ennis hustled after him, not wanting to miss a second of it. He caught up to Jack on the stairs and grabbed him around the hips. “Don’t think it’d be nearly as fun all by your lonesome, huh? Maybe you need some company.”
“You know, I was hoping you’d say that.”
Bobby hated stupid school. He hated reading and he hated math and he hated people staring at him and giggling behind his back. He was hoping things would’ve died off by now, but no such luck. No other scandals had arisen, so he was still the number one target. He made it through his morning classes and met up with Junior and Kurt for lunch. As they pushed their way through the crowd, Bobby spotted Kimmi Jane and immediately flushed. He felt like a horrible asshole every time he thought about it. He wasn’t that kind of guy! He wasn’t a one night stand guy.
“Oh, hey, Bobby.” She said, feeling the awkwardness same as him. Bobby nodded to her and gave her a smile. “What happened to your arm?”
“Oh…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I was, uh, bull riding over Christmas break and I fell off.”
“Bull riding? That is so sexy.” She purred and laid a hand on his arm. “Does it hurt?” She asked simperingly, tossing her long blonde hair.
“Not too much.” He answered, backing away a little. He glanced over and noticed Junior’s lip curling dangerously. She was giving Kimmi Jane the same kind of look she used to give Jack and Ennis, when she’d first come to live with them. “Uh, so, I’ll see you later.” Bobby said quickly, wanting to hurry Junior away before she launched herself on Kimmi Jane.
“What was that all about?” Kurt asked as soon as they were out of earshot, at the same time that Junior growled,
“Ugh, I hate her!”
Kurt gave Junior a confused look. “You do?”
“Yes! She’s such a…a slut!” Junior flushed as the word passed her lips.
“Whoa! That’s a strong word.”
“Um, she kind of is.” Bobby cut in apologetically. “Has been since we were like thirteen.”
“Oh. But… you hate her for that?”
“I hate her for the way she uses people and the way she’s only nice to guys when she wants to sleep with them.” Junior spat the words in Kimmi Jane’s direction, a murderous look on her face.
“Well, does it really affect you? Is that a good reason to hate her?”
Bobby worked to keep his face normal. This conversation was getting a tad uncomfortable for him. He hadn’t told Kurt about the whole Kimmi Jane…situation.
“Yes,” Junior said defensively. “It is. God, Kurt, do you have to be so nice to everyone, all the time?”
“Well, excuse me for being a nice guy.”
“You can be a nice guy without-”
“Hey!” Bobby interrupted their spat. “Junior hates her because I slept with her and then she just blew me off.” He blushed and said most of it to his lunch, but at least he’d said it. Kurt’s eyes bugged out and his mouth dropped open.
“You had sex with her?” Kurt exclaimed in a half-whisper. Bobby sighed.
“Yeah.”
Kurt craned his neck to look at her again. “Why?!” Junior snorted at the disgust in his voice. Bobby dropped his head to his hands.
“Because she was wearing the shortest, tightest little skirt I’ve ever seen and she has nice legs and she was all over me and I was so sick of everyone ignoring me or making fun of me and plus, you know what? I was horny! Okay?!”
He chanced a look up and saw Kurt and Junior both looking shocked by his outburst. He turned even redder when he realized he’d just said the word horny in front of Junior. He focused on the table top for a minute before murmuring, “I never said I was proud of it.”
“Wow.” Kurt said quietly, picking up his sandwich and taking a bite. “Your life’s such a soap opera, Bobby.”
“Hello?” Lureen already sounded annoyed.
“Hey Lureen, it’s Jack.”
“Oh, I was surprised I didn’t hear from y’all last night when Bobby got home.” She said dryly.
Jack laughed with no humor. “Yeah…well, I’m not gonna say I didn’t fly off the handle a bit when I saw the cast-”
“I bet.”
“-But Bobby explained it all.”
Awkward silence.
“Well, I really am sorry.” Lureen said. Jack could hear the sincerity in her voice. “I’m afraid he didn’t have a very good time, what with Daddy upsetting him and breaking his arm and then my New Year’s party…” She sighed. “I don’t even know him.” She said it quietly, more to herself than to Jack.
“Well, you know…” He shrugged, though she couldn’t see it. “Better late than never. And he said he had a good time.”
“He did?”
“Sure.” It wasn’t really a lie. He hadn’t said he’d had a bad time, anyway.
“Well. You, um, you’ve done a good job raising him, Jack.”
“Thanks, Lureen. But mostly I think we got lucky.”
She clammed up at the “we” in that statement. It was strange, in a way, to hear him talking about raising their son and knowing that “we” didn’t include her. “Well, he sure stood up to Daddy.” She said with a little laugh.
“Yeah, you mentioned that before, and he kinda did but he didn’t tell us what that whole thing was about. What happened?”
Lureen took a deep breath. Should she really tell him? He probably had an idea anyway. “Well, you know Daddy. He has his opinions and he ain’t worried about expressing ‘em.”
“Mm. I see. Oh well. I mean, I don’t worry too much what he thinks about me.” Jack chuckled, glad she couldn’t see the anger on his face.
“He…Jack, he wasn’t saying anything about you. He was saying some nasty things about...”
“Ennis?” Jack blurted, surprised. L.D. didn’t even know Ennis.
“Uh, yeah. Sorry.”
Jack fought the urge to fill the silence with some choice words about L.D.’s opinions. But it wouldn’t help anything, and Lureen didn’t deserve that.
“How is your daddy, anyway? Getting any better?”
“No. He’s pretty bad. He’s…he’s gonna die soon.” Someone who didn’t know her wouldn’t have heard the crack in her voice, but Jack did.
“Oh, Lu.” He sighed. “I sure am sorry. For you.”
“Thanks.” She cleared her throat. “Well, thanks for calling.” She said briskly, a businesswoman again. “I should get back to work.”
“Alright. You can call anytime you want, Lureen, you know that, right?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Jack. I’ll talk to you later.”
Jack sighed and hung up the phone. At least he hadn’t yelled at her.