WPFAAT, Chapter 18
This chapter took foreeevvvver to write. I'm not really sure why, other than it was writer's block to the max.
The kids said good bye to Jack before they went to bed that night, because he was leaving long before they hoped to be awake-he said he was leaving at four or four thirty. Bobby couldn’t even imagine being awake at four in the morning, let alone driving anywhere.
Ennis woke when the alarm went off. He sighed. He had a bad feeling about Jack going on this trip, but he didn’t want Jack to think he doubted him. It was probably just his usual paranoia, he knew, but still. It made him grab onto Jack, who was groaning and fighting to wake up, and hold onto him tight.
“Mmf.” Jack murmured. “I need to get out of bed.”
“Do you have to?” Ennis nuzzled at Jack’s neck.
“Uhh…”
“Come on…” Ennis wheedled, squeezing Jack tighter and letting his hands roam.
“Ennis.” Jack was trying to sound stern but wasn’t succeeding. He finally gave up. He could leave at four thirty instead of four. He had more…pressing matters at hand.
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Ennis drove the kids to school. Bobby grumbled some more about not being “an invalid” or “a little girl” (Junior glared at him for that one) but Ennis ignored him. He’d learned that was the best method when Bobby got to complaining.
“Well, uh, okay.” Ennis said with a shrug when they pulled up. “I’ll pick you up later.”
“Hey, Ennis, school gets out at one today.” Bobby tried. Ennis gave him a look and he smiled sheepishly. “Well, it was worth a try, huh?”
Jimmy Kent turned a corner and saw them climbing out of the truck, exchanging smiles and easy words and goodbyes with Ennis. He stopped where he was and waited for them.
“Aw, how sweet.” He sneered as soon as they opened the double doors to get inside. Junior rolled her eyes and Bobby’s nostrils flared, but other than that they both ignored him. “Which of your daddies is your favorite, Panty Twist? Who tastes better?”
“Okay, you-” Bobby felt the hot anger rising in his throat. Junior put a hand on his arm.
“Just don’t, okay?” She whispered. “It’ll just make things worse.”
“Yeah, hold him back.” Kent scoffed. “Like he’d ever have the balls to come after me.”
“I seem to remember him breaking your nose in October. Did you forget that?” Junior shot back, forgetting her own advice and firing back. Kent didn’t have much to say to that, and they left him floundering for words.
Kurt was leaning against the lockers when they got there. Junior couldn’t help smiling when she saw him, thinking about how he was an awfully good kisser. He smiled back at her.
“How’d it go last night?” Bobby asked cautiously.
“Oh.” Kurt shrugged. “It was…good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah. My dad said he was going to be around more. And this morning he helped get everyone up and ready and took Gretty to day care. It was just…kind of weird.”
“What about your mom?” Junior broke in delicately. Kurt shrugged again, this time glumly.
“Haven’t seen her. She hasn’t come out of her room since…the whole thing.”
Junior spun the lock on her locker while they talked. She’d left her math book in there yesterday. Luckily Bobby’d brought his home. Kurt was close enough that their shoulders were touching. Neither minded, and neither acknowledged it. Bobby was shooting glances back and forth between the two of them, a little annoyed. It was one thing if they were some sort of item now, but they were being weird because they weren’t being weird. They were acting completely normal, like nothing had happened, except they were touching and they kept smiling at each other. Bobby hated being out of the loop, and the looks on their faces made him feel lonely even though they were still there with him.
The bell rang and they made their way through the rush of kids to their classes. Junior hesitated a second when they got to her class. Bobby raised an eyebrow at her and her eyes flickered to Kurt quickly and then to the ground. What was the protocol for this?
“See ya.” Kurt said nonchalantly.
“Oh, um, yeah.” Junior bit her lip and started to turn away. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that. Kurt snaked a hand out and grabbed hers, squeezing it tight just once before letting go. She glanced over at him and he gave her a soft smile that seemed much too private for the crowded hall at school. She ducked her head, blushing and unable to stop her own smile. She didn’t even mind when Bobby made fake gagging sounds as she walked into her classroom.
Bobby and Kurt made their way down the hall, both quiet. Bobby was weighing his words carefully and Kurt was ready for them.
“So, uh…” Bobby cleared his throat nervously. “You guys are a thing now, huh?”
Kurt shrugged. “A thing?”
“You can’t play dumb with me, Kurt. I did catch you guys making out.”
“We weren’t making out!” Kurt protested a bit too loudly. Three freshman girls turned to stare, laughing when they saw who it was. Bobby rolled his eyes at them.
“Well, kissing at least.” He hissed.
“Yeah.”
“And…?”
“And what?” Kurt wasn’t exactly trying to avoid the questions; he wasn’t entirely sure what Bobby wanted to hear.
“Are you guys together or something?”
“Bobby, I don’t know.” Kurt sounded embarrassed. “We didn’t talk about it.”
“Do you want to be?” Bobby’s voice squeaked a little.
“Yes.” Kurt’s answer was unhesitant. “Definitely.”
“Well…maybe you should talk about it.” Bobby suggested. Kurt was a good guy. He could handle Junior being with him-and better yet, so could Ennis. As well as Ennis could handle that kind of thing at all.
“I know.” Kurt was blushing. “Look, this is going to sound stupid…and cheesy…and overdramatic…”
“Okay.” Bobby cut in before Kurt could use any more adjectives. He probably knew a lot and Bobby didn’t really want to be late for homeroom.
“It’s just…I don’t think it’s a usual high school thing.” Kurt wasn’t meeting Bobby’s eyes. “I think it’s…it’s more than that.”
“What, like you want to marry her or something?” Bobby barked out a laugh. Who met the person they wanted to marry in high school? Kurt pressed his lips together and didn’t answer, making Bobby stop completely and stare at him. “Oh, shit.” He said, bewildered. “You want to marry Junior.”
“I’m going to get to class.” Kurt said quietly, leaving Bobby stunned in the middle of the hallway.
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Bobby was distracted, to say the least, during class. Who thought about marriage this young? Kurt was eighteen. Junior was still seventeen-closer to sixteen than to eighteen, if you wanted to get technical. Bobby gnawed on a hangnail on his thumb, slumped in his desk and not paying an ounce of attention. The only reason he even knew what class he was in was because he had to go to it every day. The bell rang, jarring him out of his thoughts, and he squinted at the clock to figure what period it was. Oh. Lunchtime now. Lunch was definitely Bobby’s favorite part of the day. He liked lunch even more than he liked gym.
But when he got to his locker, he found himself alone. Kurt had a science club meeting and Junior had to finish the history essay she’d forgotten about last night with all the commotion. He was on his own. He hovered just inside the cafeteria doors, wondering what to do. He had just decided to go eat in his truck when he spotted Samantha, the girl who’d helped him in English that one time-the girl he and his friends had called Mouse Face since second grade. She was sitting at the end of a table, reading a book. She had glasses perched on the end of her nose, and she was so engrossed in whatever the book was that she was hunting around for the straw in her box of apple juice with her mouth, unwilling to take her eyes off the page to take a drink.
Bobby found himself walking over to her. “Uh…hi.” He said tentatively. She looked up distractedly, her face turning to confusion laced with a touch of annoyance when she saw it was him.
“Yeah?” She asked, not exactly rude but not very inviting, either.
“Could I sit…here?” He pointed stupidly to the bench he was standing in front of. She looked from his face to the part of bench in question and back to his face, the look on her face spelling out just how insane she thought he was.
“Go ahead.” She took a pull of her apple juice and went back to her book.
He ate silently, feeling like he should talk to her but not wanting to bug her, since she was reading and all. He kept opening his mouth to say something and changing his mind. Finally, he figured he had to say something to her. You couldn’t just spend almost a whole lunch period with someone and not talk.
“So, uh, thanks again for helping me in English…that one time…” He petered off lamely. She looked up slowly.
“That was like two months ago.” She said.
He didn’t know what to say. He felt his face flush and his shoulders came up to meet his ears, turtling himself the way Ennis always did.
“Yeah.” Was all he said. She studied his face for a minute.
“Well, you’re welcome, anyway.” She finally added quietly.
“And I wanted to apologize…” He sighed. “For, you know, being so mean to you all those years.” Her face changed. It had been almost kind, but she closed off again and tried to look indifferent.
“Whatever.”
“No, I really am.” Bobby told her earnestly. “I mean, every time I think about it, I just want to…to go back in time and punch myself in the head.”
She chuckled a little despite herself and clapped a hand over her mouth. Bobby couldn’t help but laugh a little too at how wide her eyes went at the sound of her own laugh. Soon they were laughing at each other laughing and she had a snorty kind of laugh and it made both of them laugh harder. When their laughter finally died down, they fell into semi-awkward silence.
“Bobby Twist?” Bobby felt his face twist into a grimace at the sound of the voice saying his name. It was Kimmi Jane, and she sounded surprised and disgusted and somehow flirtatious, all at once. He saw Samantha’s lips purse.
“Bobby Twist, what are you doing sitting here with Mouse Face?” Kimmi Jane laughed incredulously. Samantha bit her lip and blinked twice. She didn’t meet Bobby’s eyes, instead dropping hers to her book again. But Bobby didn’t really think she was reading it.
“I’m sitting here with Samantha because she’s nice to me.” Bobby answered neutrally. “And she’s funny.” He grinned at Samantha, whose eyes had darted up at his first sentence.
“Um…okay.” Kimmi Jane laughed again. “Did you hit your head when you fell off that bull, Bobby Twist? Or is this some kind of charity work you’re doing?”
Bobby felt his temper flare up when Samantha’s face fell. She was the only person besides Junior or Kurt to be nice to him in months and he felt like he owed her something.
“Why don’t you go back to ignoring us?” Bobby fired back. “You’re real good at that.”
Kimmi Jane’s face caught fire when she caught the meaning of Bobby’s words. She bit her bottom lip. “Whatever.” She said, tossing her and flouncing off, but Bobby caught the ghost of hurt in her eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping it would stop the guilt from getting him. No luck there.
When he looked up, Samantha was staring at him carefully, head tilted to one side. Her glasses slid a little. It kind of made Bobby want to laugh, but he didn’t feel like laughing just then. He maybe wasn’t as okay with the Kimmi Jane situation as he’d thought. He let out a slow breath.
She looked away when he tried to hold her eyes. She was embarrassed about what Kimmi Jane had said, and probably wondering why he was there. He opened his mouth with no idea what he was going to say, but the bell rang and cut him off. Samantha packed up her book and stuffed her garbage in the trash can by her. They stared at each other for a minute.
“Um…”
“So…”
They laughed again, awkwardly. “See ya.” She said softly, the look on her face meaning she didn’t believe it.
“Yeah.” He answered firmly. “I hope so.” She smiled a little and walked off, only half turning to look back at him once.
He used to be popular. He’d always been friends with everyone, since elementary school, really. But he couldn’t remember ever being so excited about making a new friend.
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Ennis pulled warily into the school parking lot. He didn’t trust most high school kids. They could be awful people. He squinted around for Bobby and Junior but couldn’t really make out faces. Luckily, one kid stood head and shoulders above the rest of the crowd, and Ennis could see, at his shoulder, a black haired head and then lower, around his chest, long auburn hair. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, watching as Bobby pointed toward the truck and Kurt glanced at his watch. And then, Ennis watched as Kurt ran a hand through that long auburn hair and dipped his head quickly. All he did was peck Junior’s cheek, but Ennis’s eyes practically jumped out of his head.
When in the hell did that start up? He thought frantically. Had he known this? No, he would’ve remembered something like that. He saw Bobby point to the truck again and Junior’s hair swung as she swiveled quickly to look. Bobby and Junior started walking away as a small dark-haired girl came up to Kurt-Louisa, Ennis guessed-and the pair also took off.
Ennis’s eyes were still huge when Junior and Bobby were close enough to see his face. Junior looked apprehensive and Bobby looked warily amused.
Bobby pulled the door open and flung his backpack to the backseat before climbing up next to Ennis. Junior followed suit and closed the door gently. Ennis pulled away, still silent.
“So, uh…” He finally found his voice, but only for the two words. Junior didn’t jump in and save him.
“What?” Bobby asked innocently.
“Um…” Ennis cleared his throat. “That…What was that?”
“What was…what?” Bobby was doing all the talking while Junior bit her lip.
“Uh…that kiss.”
“Oh, that.” Bobby shrugged. “Kurt and I just miss each other when we’re apart.”
Ennis and Junior both rolled their eyes while Bobby cracked up over his joke. He figured keeping it light was the way to go.
“It was a good bye peck.” Junior mumbled.
“Does he always do that?”
“Um…he does now.”
“Since when?” Ennis didn’t sound mad-yet. Junior wasn’t sure if she should take that as a good thing or if it just meant he’d be even worse when he did get mad.
“Well, today was the first time.”
“Why?”
“Because we…because he…I…” Junior didn’t know how to explain it. “Why do you kiss Jack good bye?” It was supposed to be a thought, but it popped out as a sentence. Her eyes grew as she realized what she’d said.
Ennis was trying not to have a heart attack. First of all, it was the first time she’d ever said anything about him and Jack kissing without spitting it at him with some fire and brimstone thrown in. And also, his teenage daughter was apparently telling him she was in love.
“Are you...I mean…what?” Ennis sputtered. Bobby rolled his eyes. Those del Mars sure were eloquent.
“What she’s saying, Ennis, is that she is wildly, passionately in love with Kurt and can’t look at him without thinking about kissing his lips off.”
Junior made a sound in the back of her throat. It was a cross between a growl and a scared gasp. Bobby looked at her with wide, innocent eyes. “Well, isn’t that what you meant?” He glanced at Ennis. He couldn’t help but antagonize the two of them. They were such easy targets.
Ennis took his eyes off the road briefly to glare first at Bobby and then at Junior. This conversation was making him very uncomfortable. He wanted to yell at her that she was too young and no way did she know what love was. But she was only two years younger than he’d been when he’d met Jack, and she was about ten times more mature. So he snapped his mouth shut audibly and didn’t speak for the rest of the ride.
He went straight to the barn, hearing Bobby and Junior’s low, angry tones as they bickered.
“What did you do that for?” Junior hissed.
“Not like you can keep it a secret.” Bobby said with a shrug.
“Well you might have let me say it!”
“Oh please. We don’t have that kind of time.”
“Well you could’ve broken it to him a little more gently! Kiss his lips off?” She couldn’t help the snort that escaped her, but quickly went back to looking angry.
“Hey, it’s like ripping a Band-Aid off. You gotta do it fast.”
Junior rolled her eyes and pushed past Bobby to grab her backpack out of the backseat. “I just hope Kurt doesn’t need a Band-Aid next time Ennis sees him.” She muttered.
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Dinner was slightly awkward. Ennis had taken a lot of anger out while tenderizing the meat, so he was calmer, but he kept glancing at Junior out of the corner of his eye.
“Uh, how was school?” He asked. Jack always asked that, and Ennis felt like it shouldn’t go unasked just because Jack was gone.
“Fine.” Both kids answered routinely.
“Okay. Good.”
Well, that definitely didn’t go the way it did when Jack was home. He prompted them, coaxed details out of them. Ennis felt stupid. He didn’t know what questions to ask and he was a little preoccupied, thinking about Junior and Kurt.
The kids hustled off to their rooms and Ennis did the dishes, feeling lonely and sad. Things weren’t the same without Jack there. He scrubbed an already-clean plate absently. Jack would call sometime tonight. It was going to be the highlight of Ennis’s day. Well, besides early that morning, before Jack’d left.
He sighed and kept glancing at the phone. So far it was silent. Just as he turned to stare at it again, he caught Junior poking her head around the corner to look at it, too. She noticed him noticing her and blushed.
“I was just…” She didn’t finish, just flushed deeper and scurried back to her room. Ennis chuckled a little. It was kind of…adorable. And Kurt was a good guy. Better than Troy, at any rate. The phone rang then, making Ennis jump even though he’d been waiting all night for it. He picked it up quickly-it hadn’t even rung a second time yet.
“Hello?” He didn’t waste energy being embarrassed at how hopeful he sounded.
“Hey.” He could hear the smile in Jack’s voice and couldn’t stop a sigh.
“Hey.” He said back, a smile of his own spreading across his wide face. “You make it there okay?”
“Yep. Got here ‘bout fifteen minutes ago.” Jack sounded tired. It worried Ennis. All that driving couldn’t be good for his back.
“You hurtin’?”
“Mm…a little. Nothing that’ll kill me.”
“Better not.” Ennis sank into a chair, stretching his legs. He wondered if he could keep Jack on the line all night and listen to him breathe while he slept. Probably not-that’d be expensive.
“So how’s everything there?” Jack asked. “Starshine drop her foal yet?”
“Not yet. Poor girl.” Ennis shook his head, though Jack couldn’t see.
“What’re you gonna name it?”
“I don’t know…why don’t you think of something? I’m no good at that; not like you.”
“Well, I can’t name it without seeing it, Ennis.” Jack sounded like he was rolling his eyes.
“Then I’ll just wait ‘till you get back, then. Doesn’t really need a name when it’s first born, anyway.”
“Maybe she won’t drop ‘til I’m home anyway.”
“Maybe…but she’d be pretty miserable.”
“What’s going on? You sound distracted.”
“I saw Kurt kiss Junior today.” Ennis said in a rush.
“Really? I thought something was going on with th-”
“What?! You knew and you didn’t tell me?”
“Ennis.” Jack started patiently. “One, I didn’t know; I suspected. Two, things got crazy last night, remember? And three, I knew you’d lose it.”
“I didn’t lose it!” Ennis protested. “I was really good. I didn’t even scream when I saw it happen!”
“You are now.” Jack pointed out, holding the phone away a bit and wincing.
“Sorry.” Ennis sighed. There was a quiet pause. “I hate not having you here with me.”
Now Jack sighed. “I know. I hate it too. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Ennis said automatically. “We’re kind of ridiculous, huh?” Ennis chuckled. “I mean, we can’t handle being apart for a week.”
“I don’t think it’s ridiculous.” Jack said seriously. “I like it.”
“Me too.”
“Ennis?” Jack sounded scared.
“What?”
“I have a bad feeling.” Jack felt stupid bringing it up, but he had an insistent nagging in the pit of his stomach that something was off.
“A bad feeling about what?” Ennis didn’t even notice that he was practically whispering.
“I don’t know.” Jack was whispering, too. “Just…I’m scared something bad’s gonna happen.”
“To you?” Ennis’s heart was beating much faster than usual, even given that he was on the phone with Jack.
“No.” Jack said slowly. “I don’t think so.”
“Oh, good.” Ennis breathed. If it wasn't Jack, how bad could it be?
“But still…” Jack trailed off. “Anyway. Never mind.”
Neither spoke for a minute.
“Bobby’s arm hurting him?” Jack broke the silence.
“Don’t think so.” Ennis was ashamed that he hadn’t asked. But Bobby was seventeen; he knew where they kept painkillers and was responsible enough to take them on his own. He didn’t need Ennis to baby him. “He hasn’t said anything.”
“Well, that’s good.”
They were silent again, listening to each other breathe for a minute, reassuring themselves that they were both safe. There wasn’t much for them to say to each other, now that they’d covered the kids and the pregnant mare. They didn’t often fill silences with words.
“Wish I could touch you right now.” Jack said, low.
Ennis let out a long breath. “Me too.” He whispered, knowing Jack would hear him. He always did.
“Well.” Jack stopped after the word and let it dangle. He didn’t want to hang up but there wasn’t much to talk about. They weren’t big on small talk.
“Yeah.” Ennis knew what he meant. “You should prob’ly rest up. Get ready to be a salesman tomorrow or something.”
Jack laughed. “I’m always ready to be a salesmen, Ennis.”
“Mm, that’s true. You’re always making me buy stuff.”
“Excuse me?” Jack snorted. “I seem to remember you convincing me to buy that fancy bridle for Legend.”
“No, that was your idea.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “If you say so, del Mar.”
Ennis sighed. He was doing that a lot lately. “Bye, bud.”
“I’ll call tomorrow.” Jack promised. “Sweet dreams.” He teased before he hung up.
He’d been joking, mostly, but Ennis hoped desperately it’d be true. He didn’t want any nightmares-not tonight, not when Jack wasn’t there to wake him up and save him.
The kids said good bye to Jack before they went to bed that night, because he was leaving long before they hoped to be awake-he said he was leaving at four or four thirty. Bobby couldn’t even imagine being awake at four in the morning, let alone driving anywhere.
Ennis woke when the alarm went off. He sighed. He had a bad feeling about Jack going on this trip, but he didn’t want Jack to think he doubted him. It was probably just his usual paranoia, he knew, but still. It made him grab onto Jack, who was groaning and fighting to wake up, and hold onto him tight.
“Mmf.” Jack murmured. “I need to get out of bed.”
“Do you have to?” Ennis nuzzled at Jack’s neck.
“Uhh…”
“Come on…” Ennis wheedled, squeezing Jack tighter and letting his hands roam.
“Ennis.” Jack was trying to sound stern but wasn’t succeeding. He finally gave up. He could leave at four thirty instead of four. He had more…pressing matters at hand.
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Ennis drove the kids to school. Bobby grumbled some more about not being “an invalid” or “a little girl” (Junior glared at him for that one) but Ennis ignored him. He’d learned that was the best method when Bobby got to complaining.
“Well, uh, okay.” Ennis said with a shrug when they pulled up. “I’ll pick you up later.”
“Hey, Ennis, school gets out at one today.” Bobby tried. Ennis gave him a look and he smiled sheepishly. “Well, it was worth a try, huh?”
Jimmy Kent turned a corner and saw them climbing out of the truck, exchanging smiles and easy words and goodbyes with Ennis. He stopped where he was and waited for them.
“Aw, how sweet.” He sneered as soon as they opened the double doors to get inside. Junior rolled her eyes and Bobby’s nostrils flared, but other than that they both ignored him. “Which of your daddies is your favorite, Panty Twist? Who tastes better?”
“Okay, you-” Bobby felt the hot anger rising in his throat. Junior put a hand on his arm.
“Just don’t, okay?” She whispered. “It’ll just make things worse.”
“Yeah, hold him back.” Kent scoffed. “Like he’d ever have the balls to come after me.”
“I seem to remember him breaking your nose in October. Did you forget that?” Junior shot back, forgetting her own advice and firing back. Kent didn’t have much to say to that, and they left him floundering for words.
Kurt was leaning against the lockers when they got there. Junior couldn’t help smiling when she saw him, thinking about how he was an awfully good kisser. He smiled back at her.
“How’d it go last night?” Bobby asked cautiously.
“Oh.” Kurt shrugged. “It was…good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah. My dad said he was going to be around more. And this morning he helped get everyone up and ready and took Gretty to day care. It was just…kind of weird.”
“What about your mom?” Junior broke in delicately. Kurt shrugged again, this time glumly.
“Haven’t seen her. She hasn’t come out of her room since…the whole thing.”
Junior spun the lock on her locker while they talked. She’d left her math book in there yesterday. Luckily Bobby’d brought his home. Kurt was close enough that their shoulders were touching. Neither minded, and neither acknowledged it. Bobby was shooting glances back and forth between the two of them, a little annoyed. It was one thing if they were some sort of item now, but they were being weird because they weren’t being weird. They were acting completely normal, like nothing had happened, except they were touching and they kept smiling at each other. Bobby hated being out of the loop, and the looks on their faces made him feel lonely even though they were still there with him.
The bell rang and they made their way through the rush of kids to their classes. Junior hesitated a second when they got to her class. Bobby raised an eyebrow at her and her eyes flickered to Kurt quickly and then to the ground. What was the protocol for this?
“See ya.” Kurt said nonchalantly.
“Oh, um, yeah.” Junior bit her lip and started to turn away. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that. Kurt snaked a hand out and grabbed hers, squeezing it tight just once before letting go. She glanced over at him and he gave her a soft smile that seemed much too private for the crowded hall at school. She ducked her head, blushing and unable to stop her own smile. She didn’t even mind when Bobby made fake gagging sounds as she walked into her classroom.
Bobby and Kurt made their way down the hall, both quiet. Bobby was weighing his words carefully and Kurt was ready for them.
“So, uh…” Bobby cleared his throat nervously. “You guys are a thing now, huh?”
Kurt shrugged. “A thing?”
“You can’t play dumb with me, Kurt. I did catch you guys making out.”
“We weren’t making out!” Kurt protested a bit too loudly. Three freshman girls turned to stare, laughing when they saw who it was. Bobby rolled his eyes at them.
“Well, kissing at least.” He hissed.
“Yeah.”
“And…?”
“And what?” Kurt wasn’t exactly trying to avoid the questions; he wasn’t entirely sure what Bobby wanted to hear.
“Are you guys together or something?”
“Bobby, I don’t know.” Kurt sounded embarrassed. “We didn’t talk about it.”
“Do you want to be?” Bobby’s voice squeaked a little.
“Yes.” Kurt’s answer was unhesitant. “Definitely.”
“Well…maybe you should talk about it.” Bobby suggested. Kurt was a good guy. He could handle Junior being with him-and better yet, so could Ennis. As well as Ennis could handle that kind of thing at all.
“I know.” Kurt was blushing. “Look, this is going to sound stupid…and cheesy…and overdramatic…”
“Okay.” Bobby cut in before Kurt could use any more adjectives. He probably knew a lot and Bobby didn’t really want to be late for homeroom.
“It’s just…I don’t think it’s a usual high school thing.” Kurt wasn’t meeting Bobby’s eyes. “I think it’s…it’s more than that.”
“What, like you want to marry her or something?” Bobby barked out a laugh. Who met the person they wanted to marry in high school? Kurt pressed his lips together and didn’t answer, making Bobby stop completely and stare at him. “Oh, shit.” He said, bewildered. “You want to marry Junior.”
“I’m going to get to class.” Kurt said quietly, leaving Bobby stunned in the middle of the hallway.
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Bobby was distracted, to say the least, during class. Who thought about marriage this young? Kurt was eighteen. Junior was still seventeen-closer to sixteen than to eighteen, if you wanted to get technical. Bobby gnawed on a hangnail on his thumb, slumped in his desk and not paying an ounce of attention. The only reason he even knew what class he was in was because he had to go to it every day. The bell rang, jarring him out of his thoughts, and he squinted at the clock to figure what period it was. Oh. Lunchtime now. Lunch was definitely Bobby’s favorite part of the day. He liked lunch even more than he liked gym.
But when he got to his locker, he found himself alone. Kurt had a science club meeting and Junior had to finish the history essay she’d forgotten about last night with all the commotion. He was on his own. He hovered just inside the cafeteria doors, wondering what to do. He had just decided to go eat in his truck when he spotted Samantha, the girl who’d helped him in English that one time-the girl he and his friends had called Mouse Face since second grade. She was sitting at the end of a table, reading a book. She had glasses perched on the end of her nose, and she was so engrossed in whatever the book was that she was hunting around for the straw in her box of apple juice with her mouth, unwilling to take her eyes off the page to take a drink.
Bobby found himself walking over to her. “Uh…hi.” He said tentatively. She looked up distractedly, her face turning to confusion laced with a touch of annoyance when she saw it was him.
“Yeah?” She asked, not exactly rude but not very inviting, either.
“Could I sit…here?” He pointed stupidly to the bench he was standing in front of. She looked from his face to the part of bench in question and back to his face, the look on her face spelling out just how insane she thought he was.
“Go ahead.” She took a pull of her apple juice and went back to her book.
He ate silently, feeling like he should talk to her but not wanting to bug her, since she was reading and all. He kept opening his mouth to say something and changing his mind. Finally, he figured he had to say something to her. You couldn’t just spend almost a whole lunch period with someone and not talk.
“So, uh, thanks again for helping me in English…that one time…” He petered off lamely. She looked up slowly.
“That was like two months ago.” She said.
He didn’t know what to say. He felt his face flush and his shoulders came up to meet his ears, turtling himself the way Ennis always did.
“Yeah.” Was all he said. She studied his face for a minute.
“Well, you’re welcome, anyway.” She finally added quietly.
“And I wanted to apologize…” He sighed. “For, you know, being so mean to you all those years.” Her face changed. It had been almost kind, but she closed off again and tried to look indifferent.
“Whatever.”
“No, I really am.” Bobby told her earnestly. “I mean, every time I think about it, I just want to…to go back in time and punch myself in the head.”
She chuckled a little despite herself and clapped a hand over her mouth. Bobby couldn’t help but laugh a little too at how wide her eyes went at the sound of her own laugh. Soon they were laughing at each other laughing and she had a snorty kind of laugh and it made both of them laugh harder. When their laughter finally died down, they fell into semi-awkward silence.
“Bobby Twist?” Bobby felt his face twist into a grimace at the sound of the voice saying his name. It was Kimmi Jane, and she sounded surprised and disgusted and somehow flirtatious, all at once. He saw Samantha’s lips purse.
“Bobby Twist, what are you doing sitting here with Mouse Face?” Kimmi Jane laughed incredulously. Samantha bit her lip and blinked twice. She didn’t meet Bobby’s eyes, instead dropping hers to her book again. But Bobby didn’t really think she was reading it.
“I’m sitting here with Samantha because she’s nice to me.” Bobby answered neutrally. “And she’s funny.” He grinned at Samantha, whose eyes had darted up at his first sentence.
“Um…okay.” Kimmi Jane laughed again. “Did you hit your head when you fell off that bull, Bobby Twist? Or is this some kind of charity work you’re doing?”
Bobby felt his temper flare up when Samantha’s face fell. She was the only person besides Junior or Kurt to be nice to him in months and he felt like he owed her something.
“Why don’t you go back to ignoring us?” Bobby fired back. “You’re real good at that.”
Kimmi Jane’s face caught fire when she caught the meaning of Bobby’s words. She bit her bottom lip. “Whatever.” She said, tossing her and flouncing off, but Bobby caught the ghost of hurt in her eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping it would stop the guilt from getting him. No luck there.
When he looked up, Samantha was staring at him carefully, head tilted to one side. Her glasses slid a little. It kind of made Bobby want to laugh, but he didn’t feel like laughing just then. He maybe wasn’t as okay with the Kimmi Jane situation as he’d thought. He let out a slow breath.
She looked away when he tried to hold her eyes. She was embarrassed about what Kimmi Jane had said, and probably wondering why he was there. He opened his mouth with no idea what he was going to say, but the bell rang and cut him off. Samantha packed up her book and stuffed her garbage in the trash can by her. They stared at each other for a minute.
“Um…”
“So…”
They laughed again, awkwardly. “See ya.” She said softly, the look on her face meaning she didn’t believe it.
“Yeah.” He answered firmly. “I hope so.” She smiled a little and walked off, only half turning to look back at him once.
He used to be popular. He’d always been friends with everyone, since elementary school, really. But he couldn’t remember ever being so excited about making a new friend.
---------------------
Ennis pulled warily into the school parking lot. He didn’t trust most high school kids. They could be awful people. He squinted around for Bobby and Junior but couldn’t really make out faces. Luckily, one kid stood head and shoulders above the rest of the crowd, and Ennis could see, at his shoulder, a black haired head and then lower, around his chest, long auburn hair. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, watching as Bobby pointed toward the truck and Kurt glanced at his watch. And then, Ennis watched as Kurt ran a hand through that long auburn hair and dipped his head quickly. All he did was peck Junior’s cheek, but Ennis’s eyes practically jumped out of his head.
When in the hell did that start up? He thought frantically. Had he known this? No, he would’ve remembered something like that. He saw Bobby point to the truck again and Junior’s hair swung as she swiveled quickly to look. Bobby and Junior started walking away as a small dark-haired girl came up to Kurt-Louisa, Ennis guessed-and the pair also took off.
Ennis’s eyes were still huge when Junior and Bobby were close enough to see his face. Junior looked apprehensive and Bobby looked warily amused.
Bobby pulled the door open and flung his backpack to the backseat before climbing up next to Ennis. Junior followed suit and closed the door gently. Ennis pulled away, still silent.
“So, uh…” He finally found his voice, but only for the two words. Junior didn’t jump in and save him.
“What?” Bobby asked innocently.
“Um…” Ennis cleared his throat. “That…What was that?”
“What was…what?” Bobby was doing all the talking while Junior bit her lip.
“Uh…that kiss.”
“Oh, that.” Bobby shrugged. “Kurt and I just miss each other when we’re apart.”
Ennis and Junior both rolled their eyes while Bobby cracked up over his joke. He figured keeping it light was the way to go.
“It was a good bye peck.” Junior mumbled.
“Does he always do that?”
“Um…he does now.”
“Since when?” Ennis didn’t sound mad-yet. Junior wasn’t sure if she should take that as a good thing or if it just meant he’d be even worse when he did get mad.
“Well, today was the first time.”
“Why?”
“Because we…because he…I…” Junior didn’t know how to explain it. “Why do you kiss Jack good bye?” It was supposed to be a thought, but it popped out as a sentence. Her eyes grew as she realized what she’d said.
Ennis was trying not to have a heart attack. First of all, it was the first time she’d ever said anything about him and Jack kissing without spitting it at him with some fire and brimstone thrown in. And also, his teenage daughter was apparently telling him she was in love.
“Are you...I mean…what?” Ennis sputtered. Bobby rolled his eyes. Those del Mars sure were eloquent.
“What she’s saying, Ennis, is that she is wildly, passionately in love with Kurt and can’t look at him without thinking about kissing his lips off.”
Junior made a sound in the back of her throat. It was a cross between a growl and a scared gasp. Bobby looked at her with wide, innocent eyes. “Well, isn’t that what you meant?” He glanced at Ennis. He couldn’t help but antagonize the two of them. They were such easy targets.
Ennis took his eyes off the road briefly to glare first at Bobby and then at Junior. This conversation was making him very uncomfortable. He wanted to yell at her that she was too young and no way did she know what love was. But she was only two years younger than he’d been when he’d met Jack, and she was about ten times more mature. So he snapped his mouth shut audibly and didn’t speak for the rest of the ride.
He went straight to the barn, hearing Bobby and Junior’s low, angry tones as they bickered.
“What did you do that for?” Junior hissed.
“Not like you can keep it a secret.” Bobby said with a shrug.
“Well you might have let me say it!”
“Oh please. We don’t have that kind of time.”
“Well you could’ve broken it to him a little more gently! Kiss his lips off?” She couldn’t help the snort that escaped her, but quickly went back to looking angry.
“Hey, it’s like ripping a Band-Aid off. You gotta do it fast.”
Junior rolled her eyes and pushed past Bobby to grab her backpack out of the backseat. “I just hope Kurt doesn’t need a Band-Aid next time Ennis sees him.” She muttered.
------------------
Dinner was slightly awkward. Ennis had taken a lot of anger out while tenderizing the meat, so he was calmer, but he kept glancing at Junior out of the corner of his eye.
“Uh, how was school?” He asked. Jack always asked that, and Ennis felt like it shouldn’t go unasked just because Jack was gone.
“Fine.” Both kids answered routinely.
“Okay. Good.”
Well, that definitely didn’t go the way it did when Jack was home. He prompted them, coaxed details out of them. Ennis felt stupid. He didn’t know what questions to ask and he was a little preoccupied, thinking about Junior and Kurt.
The kids hustled off to their rooms and Ennis did the dishes, feeling lonely and sad. Things weren’t the same without Jack there. He scrubbed an already-clean plate absently. Jack would call sometime tonight. It was going to be the highlight of Ennis’s day. Well, besides early that morning, before Jack’d left.
He sighed and kept glancing at the phone. So far it was silent. Just as he turned to stare at it again, he caught Junior poking her head around the corner to look at it, too. She noticed him noticing her and blushed.
“I was just…” She didn’t finish, just flushed deeper and scurried back to her room. Ennis chuckled a little. It was kind of…adorable. And Kurt was a good guy. Better than Troy, at any rate. The phone rang then, making Ennis jump even though he’d been waiting all night for it. He picked it up quickly-it hadn’t even rung a second time yet.
“Hello?” He didn’t waste energy being embarrassed at how hopeful he sounded.
“Hey.” He could hear the smile in Jack’s voice and couldn’t stop a sigh.
“Hey.” He said back, a smile of his own spreading across his wide face. “You make it there okay?”
“Yep. Got here ‘bout fifteen minutes ago.” Jack sounded tired. It worried Ennis. All that driving couldn’t be good for his back.
“You hurtin’?”
“Mm…a little. Nothing that’ll kill me.”
“Better not.” Ennis sank into a chair, stretching his legs. He wondered if he could keep Jack on the line all night and listen to him breathe while he slept. Probably not-that’d be expensive.
“So how’s everything there?” Jack asked. “Starshine drop her foal yet?”
“Not yet. Poor girl.” Ennis shook his head, though Jack couldn’t see.
“What’re you gonna name it?”
“I don’t know…why don’t you think of something? I’m no good at that; not like you.”
“Well, I can’t name it without seeing it, Ennis.” Jack sounded like he was rolling his eyes.
“Then I’ll just wait ‘till you get back, then. Doesn’t really need a name when it’s first born, anyway.”
“Maybe she won’t drop ‘til I’m home anyway.”
“Maybe…but she’d be pretty miserable.”
“What’s going on? You sound distracted.”
“I saw Kurt kiss Junior today.” Ennis said in a rush.
“Really? I thought something was going on with th-”
“What?! You knew and you didn’t tell me?”
“Ennis.” Jack started patiently. “One, I didn’t know; I suspected. Two, things got crazy last night, remember? And three, I knew you’d lose it.”
“I didn’t lose it!” Ennis protested. “I was really good. I didn’t even scream when I saw it happen!”
“You are now.” Jack pointed out, holding the phone away a bit and wincing.
“Sorry.” Ennis sighed. There was a quiet pause. “I hate not having you here with me.”
Now Jack sighed. “I know. I hate it too. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Ennis said automatically. “We’re kind of ridiculous, huh?” Ennis chuckled. “I mean, we can’t handle being apart for a week.”
“I don’t think it’s ridiculous.” Jack said seriously. “I like it.”
“Me too.”
“Ennis?” Jack sounded scared.
“What?”
“I have a bad feeling.” Jack felt stupid bringing it up, but he had an insistent nagging in the pit of his stomach that something was off.
“A bad feeling about what?” Ennis didn’t even notice that he was practically whispering.
“I don’t know.” Jack was whispering, too. “Just…I’m scared something bad’s gonna happen.”
“To you?” Ennis’s heart was beating much faster than usual, even given that he was on the phone with Jack.
“No.” Jack said slowly. “I don’t think so.”
“Oh, good.” Ennis breathed. If it wasn't Jack, how bad could it be?
“But still…” Jack trailed off. “Anyway. Never mind.”
Neither spoke for a minute.
“Bobby’s arm hurting him?” Jack broke the silence.
“Don’t think so.” Ennis was ashamed that he hadn’t asked. But Bobby was seventeen; he knew where they kept painkillers and was responsible enough to take them on his own. He didn’t need Ennis to baby him. “He hasn’t said anything.”
“Well, that’s good.”
They were silent again, listening to each other breathe for a minute, reassuring themselves that they were both safe. There wasn’t much for them to say to each other, now that they’d covered the kids and the pregnant mare. They didn’t often fill silences with words.
“Wish I could touch you right now.” Jack said, low.
Ennis let out a long breath. “Me too.” He whispered, knowing Jack would hear him. He always did.
“Well.” Jack stopped after the word and let it dangle. He didn’t want to hang up but there wasn’t much to talk about. They weren’t big on small talk.
“Yeah.” Ennis knew what he meant. “You should prob’ly rest up. Get ready to be a salesman tomorrow or something.”
Jack laughed. “I’m always ready to be a salesmen, Ennis.”
“Mm, that’s true. You’re always making me buy stuff.”
“Excuse me?” Jack snorted. “I seem to remember you convincing me to buy that fancy bridle for Legend.”
“No, that was your idea.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “If you say so, del Mar.”
Ennis sighed. He was doing that a lot lately. “Bye, bud.”
“I’ll call tomorrow.” Jack promised. “Sweet dreams.” He teased before he hung up.
He’d been joking, mostly, but Ennis hoped desperately it’d be true. He didn’t want any nightmares-not tonight, not when Jack wasn’t there to wake him up and save him.