Fic: What Wasn't
Title: What Wasn't
Pairing: Marat Safin/Andy Roddick
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Angst
Disclaimer: Not true
Summary: Set in Once Again 'Verse. Dinara's getting married and it brings up memories for Marat.
Lyrics are to Kanye West's Welcome to Heartbreak listen to it!
My friend showed me pictures of his kids
And all I could show him was pictures of my cribs
He said his daughter got a brand new report card (card)
And all I got was a brand new sports car
The sky is bright, blue and clear as it ever could be. The air is warm with an occasional breeze that carries the various smells of the food. Today’s a big day. It’s not everyday that your baby sister gets married, yet Marat still manages to show up late. He’s sitting outside, conversing with relatives and friends he hasn’t seen for years. Everyone seems to have kids, wildly informing him about report cards and sports games. Some show him pictures, asking Marat, “aren’t they just adorable?” He’ll smile and nod, sometimes even throwing in, “better watch out when they’re older!” When it’s his turn to share himself, all he can offer is pictures of his various houses around the world and detail descriptions of his new baby, a bright yellow Lamborghini. Some would offer smiles and indulge him a little by making comments; others would switch topics. He knows he’s not materialistic, knows for him, it isn’t all about his cars and luxuries. But he doesn’t have that somebody to make it all different. That one somebody…
He sighs as he walks towards the mansion Dinara and he bought for his parents. She’s getting married today to Mikhail and Marat is happy for her, truly happy but for some reason, he can’t feel it like he was expecting. He thinks he should be feeling like little balls of happy are traveling through his veins. But no, nothing. He hopes Dina isn’t too mad about him not arriving at the time she told him to.
Knocking on Dina’s room, Marat backs up and waits until he hears, “Come in!”
With a twist and push, Marat enters the room and smiles as soon as Dinara turns around.
“Oh, Dina, you look… so beautiful.” He walks up to her and hugs her carefully, not wanting to ruin her dress.
Dina kisses him on the cheek as she pulls back, smile still evident on her face. “I should be mad at you for showing up late, but I’ll let it slide.”
Marat can feel the little balls of happiness now, still is awe of his sister. “I can’t believe this is happening. Micha’s the luckiest man in the world.”
Dinara giggles and blushes a little. “Thank you, Marat. Enough of that. Did you bring a guest like I told you to? Perhaps a blond one?”
“No, Natasha was busy so”
“Marat,” Dinara scowls. “I’m not talking about her and you know it.”
“Oh,” Marat goes silent as he drops his gaze to the floor, but Dinara’s not having any of it. She places her fingers under his chin and raises it until she’s looking him in the eye.
“Why don’t you contact him?”
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
Dina swats him on the nose. “Don’t act like you can’t get his number from anyone. You know you can find it in a heartbeat if you really wanted to. Actually, Mardy said he’ll be here for the wedding. I’ll talk to him at the reception and”
“No!” Marat practically screams in Dina’s face as he pries himself away. “No, that’s ok,” he says a little more calmly as he moves towards the window.
“I don’t understand why you’re avoiding Andy. Clearly”
“He broke up with me, remember? He ended it because he couldn’t decide. I’m not running back to him. I’m not that desperate.”
Dinara lets out a low laugh. “Who are you kidding, Marat? When’s the last time you were in a relationship? Or the last time you just went out?”
She walks up and hugs him from behind, placing her chin on his shoulder. “You know I’m only saying this because I love you, right?”
Marat sighs and turns around. He smiles. “I know. But don’t worry about me. It’s your day!” He says the last word loud with a laugh and kiss to her cheek. Dinara laughs right along with him, knowing that’s all she can do right now.
{*}
“Please give a warm welcome for Mr and Mrs Mikhail Youzhny!”
Marat is on his feet, clapping and hollering with the rest of the party as the beautiful couple makes their entrance. The ceremony was perfect in every way possible. The vows, the undeniable love between the two. Marat knows his baby sister’s in very good hands.
The reception is in fully swing: loud happy people, liquor flowing copiously, good music. Everything that should have your undivided attention, yet Marat finds himself fading in and out of reality. By the time Micha’s best man steps up to the mic for his speech, Marat’s thoughts float to another happy time…
**
“Marat?”
“Hmm?” Marat hummed, lazily tracing patterns on Andy’s back, as they lie together, exhausted from their earlier activities.
“Do you ever think about our wedding?”
Marat looked down at Andy, eyebrows raised in interest. “We’re getting married?”
Andy grins and nods, squishing his body closer to Marat’s. “Yup.”
Running his fingers though Andy’s hair, Marat chuckles low in this throat. “Ok then since you’ve thought about it, you tell me.”
Andy sits up; arms still wrapped around his big warm Russian. “Well, it’ll probably have to happen in Canada or England or something. But I’d rather have it in Canada, closer. Anyway. It’ll be small. Just me, you and a few friends, if necessary. But we’ll still go all out. White. And we’re going to wear black matching outfits, but obviously a bit different. Don’t want to be exactly the same, now do we?”
Marat just shakes his head, a huge smile on his face as Andy continues spouting off about their “wedding”.
“It’ll be outside, maybe my place outside of Toronto. Or I have an aunt who lives in a town near Calgary. It’s really nice in the summertime, hot. We’ll have an awesome jazz band playing. Yes, you heard correctly. A jazz band. We’ll have a vanilla and chocolate cake. Hmm, that’s all I can come up with right now.”
Running out of gas, Andy snuggled in slower to Marat, placing little kisses on his neck. “Is that ok?”
Letting the fantasy wedding play in his head, Marat nods. “Definitely.”
“Good. Now let me tell you about the honeymoon…”
A brush against Marat’s shoulder brings him back to reality, back to Dina’s wedding not his own. He takes it all in; the smiling people, his excited parents, Dina and Micha…
He can’t do this. He just can’t. He can’t witness the first dance, or the cutting of the cake. It’s all too painful of what he almost had.
As quietly as possible, Marat slips out the back, not having the courage to stay or to at least say goodbye to his sister.
My god sister gettin' married by the lake
But I couldn't figure out who I want to take
Bad enough that I showed up late
I had to leave 'fore they even cut the cake
Welcome to Heartbreak
Pairing: Marat Safin/Andy Roddick
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Angst
Disclaimer: Not true
Summary: Set in Once Again 'Verse. Dinara's getting married and it brings up memories for Marat.
Lyrics are to Kanye West's Welcome to Heartbreak listen to it!
My friend showed me pictures of his kids
And all I could show him was pictures of my cribs
He said his daughter got a brand new report card (card)
And all I got was a brand new sports car
The sky is bright, blue and clear as it ever could be. The air is warm with an occasional breeze that carries the various smells of the food. Today’s a big day. It’s not everyday that your baby sister gets married, yet Marat still manages to show up late. He’s sitting outside, conversing with relatives and friends he hasn’t seen for years. Everyone seems to have kids, wildly informing him about report cards and sports games. Some show him pictures, asking Marat, “aren’t they just adorable?” He’ll smile and nod, sometimes even throwing in, “better watch out when they’re older!” When it’s his turn to share himself, all he can offer is pictures of his various houses around the world and detail descriptions of his new baby, a bright yellow Lamborghini. Some would offer smiles and indulge him a little by making comments; others would switch topics. He knows he’s not materialistic, knows for him, it isn’t all about his cars and luxuries. But he doesn’t have that somebody to make it all different. That one somebody…
He sighs as he walks towards the mansion Dinara and he bought for his parents. She’s getting married today to Mikhail and Marat is happy for her, truly happy but for some reason, he can’t feel it like he was expecting. He thinks he should be feeling like little balls of happy are traveling through his veins. But no, nothing. He hopes Dina isn’t too mad about him not arriving at the time she told him to.
Knocking on Dina’s room, Marat backs up and waits until he hears, “Come in!”
With a twist and push, Marat enters the room and smiles as soon as Dinara turns around.
“Oh, Dina, you look… so beautiful.” He walks up to her and hugs her carefully, not wanting to ruin her dress.
Dina kisses him on the cheek as she pulls back, smile still evident on her face. “I should be mad at you for showing up late, but I’ll let it slide.”
Marat can feel the little balls of happiness now, still is awe of his sister. “I can’t believe this is happening. Micha’s the luckiest man in the world.”
Dinara giggles and blushes a little. “Thank you, Marat. Enough of that. Did you bring a guest like I told you to? Perhaps a blond one?”
“No, Natasha was busy so”
“Marat,” Dinara scowls. “I’m not talking about her and you know it.”
“Oh,” Marat goes silent as he drops his gaze to the floor, but Dinara’s not having any of it. She places her fingers under his chin and raises it until she’s looking him in the eye.
“Why don’t you contact him?”
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
Dina swats him on the nose. “Don’t act like you can’t get his number from anyone. You know you can find it in a heartbeat if you really wanted to. Actually, Mardy said he’ll be here for the wedding. I’ll talk to him at the reception and”
“No!” Marat practically screams in Dina’s face as he pries himself away. “No, that’s ok,” he says a little more calmly as he moves towards the window.
“I don’t understand why you’re avoiding Andy. Clearly”
“He broke up with me, remember? He ended it because he couldn’t decide. I’m not running back to him. I’m not that desperate.”
Dinara lets out a low laugh. “Who are you kidding, Marat? When’s the last time you were in a relationship? Or the last time you just went out?”
She walks up and hugs him from behind, placing her chin on his shoulder. “You know I’m only saying this because I love you, right?”
Marat sighs and turns around. He smiles. “I know. But don’t worry about me. It’s your day!” He says the last word loud with a laugh and kiss to her cheek. Dinara laughs right along with him, knowing that’s all she can do right now.
{*}
“Please give a warm welcome for Mr and Mrs Mikhail Youzhny!”
Marat is on his feet, clapping and hollering with the rest of the party as the beautiful couple makes their entrance. The ceremony was perfect in every way possible. The vows, the undeniable love between the two. Marat knows his baby sister’s in very good hands.
The reception is in fully swing: loud happy people, liquor flowing copiously, good music. Everything that should have your undivided attention, yet Marat finds himself fading in and out of reality. By the time Micha’s best man steps up to the mic for his speech, Marat’s thoughts float to another happy time…
**
“Marat?”
“Hmm?” Marat hummed, lazily tracing patterns on Andy’s back, as they lie together, exhausted from their earlier activities.
“Do you ever think about our wedding?”
Marat looked down at Andy, eyebrows raised in interest. “We’re getting married?”
Andy grins and nods, squishing his body closer to Marat’s. “Yup.”
Running his fingers though Andy’s hair, Marat chuckles low in this throat. “Ok then since you’ve thought about it, you tell me.”
Andy sits up; arms still wrapped around his big warm Russian. “Well, it’ll probably have to happen in Canada or England or something. But I’d rather have it in Canada, closer. Anyway. It’ll be small. Just me, you and a few friends, if necessary. But we’ll still go all out. White. And we’re going to wear black matching outfits, but obviously a bit different. Don’t want to be exactly the same, now do we?”
Marat just shakes his head, a huge smile on his face as Andy continues spouting off about their “wedding”.
“It’ll be outside, maybe my place outside of Toronto. Or I have an aunt who lives in a town near Calgary. It’s really nice in the summertime, hot. We’ll have an awesome jazz band playing. Yes, you heard correctly. A jazz band. We’ll have a vanilla and chocolate cake. Hmm, that’s all I can come up with right now.”
Running out of gas, Andy snuggled in slower to Marat, placing little kisses on his neck. “Is that ok?”
Letting the fantasy wedding play in his head, Marat nods. “Definitely.”
“Good. Now let me tell you about the honeymoon…”
A brush against Marat’s shoulder brings him back to reality, back to Dina’s wedding not his own. He takes it all in; the smiling people, his excited parents, Dina and Micha…
He can’t do this. He just can’t. He can’t witness the first dance, or the cutting of the cake. It’s all too painful of what he almost had.
As quietly as possible, Marat slips out the back, not having the courage to stay or to at least say goodbye to his sister.
My god sister gettin' married by the lake
But I couldn't figure out who I want to take
Bad enough that I showed up late
I had to leave 'fore they even cut the cake
Welcome to Heartbreak