Fic: All Fall Down
Title: All Fall Down
Pairing: Marat Safin/Dmitry Tursunov
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: It's fiction, meaning it's not true
Song: Stop and Stare by OneRepublic
A/N: All converstations are in Russian
this is for tennizfanhahaha.
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
"Never glance" is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Fingers trace the rim of the slightly frosted glass. The liquid inside is untouched, unusual for Marat Safin. He sits and stares, at his glass, at his hands, anywhere but forward. He can still hear though. The sound of Dmitry’s laugh permeates the air and Marat slumps a little further into his seat, fingers slipping to grip. He’s surrounded by their countrymen, all showering him love and affection that Dmitry truly deserves, but Marat couldn’t deliever. Marat closes his eyes and remembers the moments where the only thing that mattered was him and his Dima. Remembers the time when Dmitry peppered him with kisses and hugs at the Davis Cup a few years back. Remembers the time Dmitry would tell him stupid jokes at two in the morning because he couldn’t sleep. Remembers the times he had tried so hard to make breakfast for Dmitry but ended up serving him cold cereal and fruit. If he could only explain why…
He hears shuffling and a body settling into the seat across from him. He knows who it is even before a hand covers his over the glass. Marat takes a sharp breath.
“Hi, Marat.”
He slowly lifts his head and opens his eyes. “Dima.”
Dmitry smiles, rubbing the back of Marat’s hand. “How are you?”
He shrugs. “Fine, yourself?”
He shakes his head. “I’m doing well thanks.” He points to the glass. “Mind if I have a sip?”
Marat pushes the glass forward, not showing the emotions he feels. Dmitry lifts the glass, presses it to his open lips and drinks the cool liquid. When he finishes the whole drink, he grins. “A good man once told me to never waste good vodka.”
Marat just stares at his lips mesmerized by the effortless beauty that is Dmitry. When Dmitry doesn’t get the reaction he hoped for, his fingers find Marat’s again. “So we can’t even be friends?”
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
The words shake Marat out of his reverie. “N-no. I want to be friends. We are. It’s just that… It’s”
“Tell me, Marat.” It’s whispered, but Marat hears it clearly.
“I…” Marat lowers his gaze to settle on their hands, still clutched together. “I can’t always be there. And you can’t always be there. We both know I’m not going to around for much longer… I… don’t want to hold you back when I stop playing.”
He stops and doesn’t continue even when he feels Dmitry’s fingers caressing his.
“Marat, I already know that. We can’t always be together, and we understood that. And hold me back? You won’t, you never do.”
Shaking his head, Marat looks at Dmitry. “I’m… When the guys want to go out, I want you to go too. I want you to have fun, not worry about me. You’re young, Dima. You should be out there, having fun, being reckless. I don’t”
He is stopped by Dmitry’s fingers on his lips. “Look. Stop with the excuses, please.” His voice is soft, eyes pleading. “All of what you just said… It’s not important. You don’t even know why you ended us, Marat and don’t say otherwise because you know it’s true.” He pulls his fingers away and places them back on top of Marat’s. “I just want an answer to one question. An honest answer, that’s all. If I don’t get the answer I’m looking for, I’ll walk away and we’ll be friends like we are now, ok?”
They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Marat just stares, body tensing. He’s not sure if he’s ready but Dmitry goes ahead anyway.
“I’m not going to ask if you love me. I just want to know if you could ever allow yourself to.”
The questions shocks Marat at first, then confuses. Allow himself? The memories from earlier flood back to him and he wants to tell Dmitry he’s loved him, loves him for a very long time, since they got together. Gripping Dmitry’s fingers, Marat’s about to tell him, when he realizes that’s not what Dmitry wants answered; instead he replies.
“Yes”
Dmitry just smiles, twining their fingers together. Marat smiles too, whispering, “I’m sorry.”
The noise from around them filters in, but between the two it remains silent, as their fingers continue to hold each other’s, one with a shy smile on his face while the other beams.
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...
Pairing: Marat Safin/Dmitry Tursunov
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: It's fiction, meaning it's not true
Song: Stop and Stare by OneRepublic
A/N: All converstations are in Russian
this is for tennizfanhahaha.
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
"Never glance" is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Fingers trace the rim of the slightly frosted glass. The liquid inside is untouched, unusual for Marat Safin. He sits and stares, at his glass, at his hands, anywhere but forward. He can still hear though. The sound of Dmitry’s laugh permeates the air and Marat slumps a little further into his seat, fingers slipping to grip. He’s surrounded by their countrymen, all showering him love and affection that Dmitry truly deserves, but Marat couldn’t deliever. Marat closes his eyes and remembers the moments where the only thing that mattered was him and his Dima. Remembers the time when Dmitry peppered him with kisses and hugs at the Davis Cup a few years back. Remembers the time Dmitry would tell him stupid jokes at two in the morning because he couldn’t sleep. Remembers the times he had tried so hard to make breakfast for Dmitry but ended up serving him cold cereal and fruit. If he could only explain why…
He hears shuffling and a body settling into the seat across from him. He knows who it is even before a hand covers his over the glass. Marat takes a sharp breath.
“Hi, Marat.”
He slowly lifts his head and opens his eyes. “Dima.”
Dmitry smiles, rubbing the back of Marat’s hand. “How are you?”
He shrugs. “Fine, yourself?”
He shakes his head. “I’m doing well thanks.” He points to the glass. “Mind if I have a sip?”
Marat pushes the glass forward, not showing the emotions he feels. Dmitry lifts the glass, presses it to his open lips and drinks the cool liquid. When he finishes the whole drink, he grins. “A good man once told me to never waste good vodka.”
Marat just stares at his lips mesmerized by the effortless beauty that is Dmitry. When Dmitry doesn’t get the reaction he hoped for, his fingers find Marat’s again. “So we can’t even be friends?”
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
The words shake Marat out of his reverie. “N-no. I want to be friends. We are. It’s just that… It’s”
“Tell me, Marat.” It’s whispered, but Marat hears it clearly.
“I…” Marat lowers his gaze to settle on their hands, still clutched together. “I can’t always be there. And you can’t always be there. We both know I’m not going to around for much longer… I… don’t want to hold you back when I stop playing.”
He stops and doesn’t continue even when he feels Dmitry’s fingers caressing his.
“Marat, I already know that. We can’t always be together, and we understood that. And hold me back? You won’t, you never do.”
Shaking his head, Marat looks at Dmitry. “I’m… When the guys want to go out, I want you to go too. I want you to have fun, not worry about me. You’re young, Dima. You should be out there, having fun, being reckless. I don’t”
He is stopped by Dmitry’s fingers on his lips. “Look. Stop with the excuses, please.” His voice is soft, eyes pleading. “All of what you just said… It’s not important. You don’t even know why you ended us, Marat and don’t say otherwise because you know it’s true.” He pulls his fingers away and places them back on top of Marat’s. “I just want an answer to one question. An honest answer, that’s all. If I don’t get the answer I’m looking for, I’ll walk away and we’ll be friends like we are now, ok?”
They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Marat just stares, body tensing. He’s not sure if he’s ready but Dmitry goes ahead anyway.
“I’m not going to ask if you love me. I just want to know if you could ever allow yourself to.”
The questions shocks Marat at first, then confuses. Allow himself? The memories from earlier flood back to him and he wants to tell Dmitry he’s loved him, loves him for a very long time, since they got together. Gripping Dmitry’s fingers, Marat’s about to tell him, when he realizes that’s not what Dmitry wants answered; instead he replies.
“Yes”
Dmitry just smiles, twining their fingers together. Marat smiles too, whispering, “I’m sorry.”
The noise from around them filters in, but between the two it remains silent, as their fingers continue to hold each other’s, one with a shy smile on his face while the other beams.
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...