Experiment In Shopping…
Grocery shopping needed to be done last weekend, and Neil volunteered to do it. I decided this was the perfect time to conduct an experiment of sorts. Neil and I rarely do the weekly grocery shopping together. I normally go alone. It’s been this way for quite some time.
We have completely different shopping styles. Neil has a kamikaze way of shopping. He wants to go in and get out as quickly as possible. He is very efficient in that manner, not a lot of wasted time or effort. I enjoy the task of grocery shopping the majority of the time, and thus do not feel the need to rush through it at break neck speed. I always prepare a shopping list and take my coupons. Before I leave the house, I will check the refrigerator and cabinets in case I may have missed anything that needs to be added to my list. When I shop, I try to get everything on my list, as well as the extra supplemental items now and then. If I see something we use that is a non-perishable, and it’s on sale or I have a coupon ready to expire, I will also purchase the item. It may not be on my list, but the budget allows for it so it goes into the cart. I also get the customary staples; fresh fruit, veggies, and items you know you need to purchase on a weekly basis. They may not be on the list, or I may not be explicit about which fruits and veggies to get, but I buy what is available, what looks good and what I will cook with that week.
I decided to take advantage of his generosity and push him out the door before he had time to come to his senses and change his mind. So, off he went with shopping list in hand. Also note, that I don’t usually write down brand names, for example, I will not write Dawn dishwashing liquid; I will just write dishwashing liquid. I know what I mean. But Neil does not. I told him to call if he had any questions.
Now, all I could do was sit and wait. You have no idea how difficult this was for me. You have to understand that for an OCD person like myself to let go of something, even a minor task, can be a struggle. I’m used to doing the shopping. I like doing the shopping. So, to just not do it, and allow Neil to go, and further more to trust him to accomplish the task usually reserved for me, well you see my dilemma. I know, I know, it’s only grocery shopping-it’s not brain surgery. I understand this. But, when you have OCD, not doing something is releasing your control over a given situation. I rationalize that since I do the majority of the cooking in the household, I should do all the grocery shopping. I know what we use, and what we don’t. It only makes sense to me.
I have to say that when he didn’t call at all, I feared the worst. I expected at least one call. I didn’t have enough faith that my list would be self-explanatory enough. Obviously, I was mistaken. He is more observant than I’ve given him credit for. He came home, and there were only a couple minor mishaps. Nothing that was earth shattering or completely unnecessary was purchased. He got everything on the list, and a few extra items. But, all in all, he did really well. Two valuable lessons I’ve learned: Neil is a lot more observant than I’d realized, and I worry and obsess far too much.