And So It Goes...
When we last left off, Neil had been released from his last position with the company at the Kennesaw, GA location at the end of May. Due to budget cuts, they could no longer keep him and three others. It was not good news for the homestead. But, he persevered, and not even three weeks later, he was hired on by another company. They are local - meaning he isn’t driving to another state, nor is he living in a small hotel room. Thank goodness that’s all over with. It is a bit of a commute, and it’s in the central time zone. (I know, isn’t it insane that part of the state is in Central Time zone, and part is in the Eastern Time zone?) Still confuses me somewhat. The new company seems to be reputable and stable. Both of which are very good things, especially in light of past events. Their hiring process was completely professional, and thorough. They actually called all of Neil’s references he listed. He phone interviewed on three separate occasions, he drove up for an in-person interview (which was also combined with videoconferencing from the home office in Minnesota) and once all was said and done, he was unanimously voted the man for the job by everyone present at that interview. They made him an official offer, and he was happy with all of the details. He accepted the job. I am so proud of him. He rarely lets a past situation get him down. He persists, and he perseveres. He was also in the running with another company that was closer to home, so the commute time would’ve been easier for him, but they were not nearly as organized, nor professional with their hiring process. I think this time; he definitely made the better/right choice for him. He really seems to like it there, and they are very happy with their decision to choose him over the other candidates.
I had not been so lucky. When we first determined that we would be staying in TN, rather moving to Duffield, VA; I began serious job searching again. The resume was posted and updated on all the online sites, and I began actively searching the online job sites as well as the newspaper. I also applied back at my former employer (three separate times) and at the completion of their online testing stage, was told each time they would have a recruiter get in touch with me. That never happened. Come to find out, I was wasting my time. They now have a complete hiring freeze (for customer service positions) across the country. So, I began looking elsewhere. I had interview after interview. I had one interview that I thought was very promising. (the one where I applied to a position on CareerBuilder.com and they called me within 30 minutes) I felt the interview went well, and the interviewer said they would definitely call me back for a second interview by the beginning of the following week. I initially interviewed on a Saturday, as it was the only day they said they had time to conduct interviews. Well, mid week following, I still hadn’t heard anything. So, I call them. I really wanted this position. She states that yes, I’m definitely still in the running for the job, but she has been so swamped and busy, she hasn’t had time to sit down and call everyone in for the second interview. But she would. Well, that never happened, at least not for me. So, she either lied, or I really suck at the interview process. I tend to think it’s the later. Why? Because I know myself a bit. I have always sucked at face-to-face intense, interview type scenarios. Always. One example: I have a tendency to speak with my hands. This can be comical in a stand up type of way, but it has limited capacity to favor the speaker anywhere else. I know this, because years ago, on an interview gone wrong moment, I observed a look of almost terror on the face of my interviewer as he was trying to figure out where I would be flailing my arms next. Needless to say, I did not get that position. I can pee in a cup with utmost accuracy, but I cannot interview well. Just give me the job, and allow me to work. Let me prove myself. That’s all I ask. It should be that simple. But, that would be in a perfect world, and we all know this isn’t.
My task has proven a bit harder this go around. But, last week I got a call from a temp agency. They are hiring for positions and placing them for a H-U-G-E employer here in town. I have previously made several attempts to get in to said huge employer and not been able to yet. My first attempt was the end of March. I was called in for testing, and then told by the interviewer, along with about ten other people testing that day, that we would hear if we passed the testing process within two weeks, and that it would be weeks before we would hear anything else from the company. Well, I received my “you passed” e-mail dated early April. I haven’t heard a peep from them since. However, this did not deter me. I kept applying for the listed positions that I knew I was qualified for, determined that one day they would admire my persistence and just hire me. They haven’t.
So, I went in for the interview with the temp agency, took the tests, and was chosen to be one of the applicants to fill the needed positions. Right now, it looks as though the contract will last until end of February 2010. There is a possibility of it being extended; it depends on the work volume of course. There is also a possibility of the huge company offering direct hire after said contract is complete. No guarantees, but a possibility. I will take my chances, plus it gets my foot in the door. I accepted the position. I go in for orientation tomorrow, and begin a two-month training process on Monday. I am all at once; elated and now stressed because I’m worried I won’t succeed. I know it’s just my little girl inside screwing with my big girl head and making me sick and nauseous about it. I’m just so afraid of failing. I’m always afraid of failing. As irrational as that sounds, that fear exists within me everyday.
The other thing, up until now, I’ve always been in an environment where jeans and t-shirts were considered acceptable work attire. This is no longer the case. That has to change. I had to go big girl clothes shopping. I do not know how to do this. I can shop all day for clothes for Neil, and I’m very good at that. But, I cannot clothes shop for myself. I don’t like clothes shopping for dress clothes for me at all. It means I spend hours upon hours trying to pick out things I might consider wearing. Then I have to try them on. I don’t just know my size, and different manufacturers size somewhat differently. My first trip into the dressing room I had ten pairs of dress pants to try on. I had to determine maker, style and size. I don’t have the right body type for dress clothes. I’m not proportionate for my size. I also do not have any one characteristic that stands out that allows me the ability to accentuate it successfully. I’m short, so that makes it difficult to shop in the women’s department. I might find some clothes that I could fit into in the juniors department, but it doesn’t mean I should. I’m sort of stuck somewhere between juvenile and matronly. That’s the problem; I don’t want to look like either. I also have no sense of style. You know how some people are just born with it (ie: Audrey Hepburn) or they’ve cultivated it after years of watching shows like America’s Next Top Model. Either way, I don’t have it. So trying to put together an outfit, much less a complete wardrobe is painfully ridiculous for me. I am completely out of my element.
After spending the last eleven or so years working primarily in various different call centers, I have also moved away from being an early morning riser. After years of working various different shifts, usually second or graves; my body clock has halted to perform on a routine 9 to 5 schedule. The new position (at least the training portion) is set up on an 8 to 4 type schedule, I believe. You cannot imagine the panic that is coursing through my veins right now. I am going to need copious amounts of caffeine to make me happy for the next two months. So, add all of this together, and I’m stressed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very excited about the new position, but it’s just so many changes all at once that I have to absorb.
So, all in all, things at the homestead are beginning to look up. We are happy for that, and are also aware of how fortunate we are. Things could be worse. Much worse. We have been lucky in some ways, and learned some tough lessons along this road. But, we are still here and we are still kicking. That’s all that matters. Future good updates to follow on a more timely basis, I hope.
Totally off-topic Tidbits:
When you forget ½ cup of flour while making toll house cookies; you still get good tasting, pliable, flat little rounds of chocolate-nutty goodness. But they just look sad. They are not happy puffy cookies like they should be.
I made easy, “cheater pickles.” I finished a jar of store bought pickles, and rather than drink the pickle juice like I normally do, I decided to save it. My next trip to the grocery store I bought cucumber pickles. I chopped them up, put them in the original jar of pickle juice, added a bit more vinegar, and a few spices (dill, peeled whole cloves of garlic, whole peppercorns, some crushed red pepper, and a bit of sugar) I shook everything up, and let them sit in the refrigerator for about a week. They were fabulous. I will continue to do this. Maybe next year I will grow my own cucumber pickles or baby cucumbers, or whatever they actually are.
I have decided with the big hair mishap of most of 2008 (where my hair was falling out in buckets from stress) that I was going to try to leave well enough alone. Which means no more stuff, not even henna, which I have been using for years on my hair to give it a more reddish tint. But, I first wanted to color it as close to my natural color of hair so that when it starts to grow out, there isn’t a huge discrepancy in the color of my roots and the rest of my hair. So, I went in search of a permanent color that was what I thought was the original color of my hair. I was wrong. My hair has started to grow out, and I was off by about a shade or two. My natural color is darker than I last remembered it. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me; I was born with a head full of jet-black hair, just like my mother. I will now have to go back one more time, and get one shade darker. Then once that is taken care of, I will no longer apply color, of any kind, to my hair. I’m just going to allow the gray to come in naturally and hope it doesn’t depress the hell out of me.
I am still corresponding through e-mail with my Aunt Sally’s daughter; M. It’s been interesting to say the least. I find myself at times wanting to run away from it all. I often don’t want to know the things that are told to me now, but it’s too late for that. Although no face-to-face contact has come into play, so I could conceivably cut off contact and pretend they never happened. Would it make me a bad person for doing so? I’m not sure. That’s where the dilemma comes in. I’m not sure where this may lead. I do have more things to (more detail) write about when it comes to a few things I’ve found out about the family and the late grandmother. That’s another post for another day, maybe.