breastfeeding and such

[midnytefae]

I just want to say that I feel so blessed that breastfeeding was relatively easy for me to start and maintain. At 5 months, we're still going strong, and that's after returning to work and having to pump every day. I also feel grateful that the board of directors approved Lowell bringing Gabe to work for me to feed him, because he (and I!!) are

Comments

[mrsluttrell]

Some people aren't as awesome as you. I'm proud of you that you've stuck with it. Breastfeeding is so much better for the Baby-Gabers is one lucky guy...Maybe you're right, maybe shes just too young to know how important that bonding is...does she know that she could give her baby better nutrients through her breastmilk rather than a bottle? Wait...I take that back...I'm young and I've known for years how important it is.
Thats such a hard spot to be.. Because you want to tell her what she needs to be doing-but is it your place.. I don't know if you've already done this or not, but, Maybe use the approach, can I give you some advice from a nursing mother to another...if she says yes...then by all means let her know the error of her ways. I would also say that you're only mentioning it to her because you're concerned for the childs welfare or something like that... What it boils down to is what best for baby....
Its hard to believe people can act like that...
Loves to you!!

[midnytefae]

That's the approach I used in the beginning -- I told her if she ever needed any support, help, etc, that I would be more than happy to help her out. She's the one that told me she wanted to try to wean off supplements and back to the breast. But, as another friend of mine said in my myspace blog (I posted the same thing over there :p), she probably just wanted to avoid criticism (real or imagined). In my response to her comment, I said that any guilt the girl felt was on her, because one person can't make another feel guilty. It's a personal responsibility thing, you know?

It's the propped bottle that bothers me. Yes, there are many great physical benefits of breastmilk itself; it is the optimal nutrition for a baby. However, the bonding that comes from HOLDING the baby is just as important.

But, whatev. What do I know? :)

lovelove.

[pandara]

omg! She kind of sounds stupid if you ask me. But you know, as long as the baby is fine there isn't really anything you can do and you should refrain from butting in too much as that could be dangerous for your position.

I forgot to tell you the other day I laminated something like 32 posters against shared sleeping. I thought of how you would go off on that lady for that and it did annoy me. The posters were so stupid, it was a 'find the baby in 15 seconds or he will die omg!' kind of thing with a VERY messy room and the baby hidden on the bottom of the bed. Why would you do that anyway?! It just seemed so stupid and they never back up anything with actual facts.

To make matters worse the woman was like 'Just remember that for when you have a baby' I almost wanted to say 'Yeah, I'll remember that propoganda while I bond safely with my baby in the bed thank you very much. I mean I can sleep with my tiny little rats and my cat in the bed I think a human baby would be fine XP

Some people I swear are just against bonding with their

[midnytefae]

oh noes!! you'll roll over on your baby and kill it!!!!!!

God.

I'll just reiterate this for fun: Safe co-sleeping REDUCES the risk of SIDS b/c the baby regulates his or her breathing patterns to Mom and Dad's. Are there instances when people shouldn't co-sleep? Yes. Do you need to make sure you're practicing safe co-sleeping? Definitely. Is co-sleeping going to KILL YOUR BABY?? No, not if you're safe about it. And, the million dollar question: Will you get more sleep if you co-sleep, especially if you're breastfeeding? More than likely.

I just hate sheeple that listen to everything the media says and don't do research for themselves, so they don't have to back it up with facts. Imagine that. Argh!

That poster sounds stupid. Let me bury my baby under a pile of shit while I go in the other room for hours. Yay, that's safe.

Anyway, talk to you soon!!

*luffs*

[autumnalmonk]

I think you should continue providing straight information in that same matter of fact way you did with the 8-10 times thing. My guess is that she doesn't have anyone else knowledgable providing her with information on how to be a good mother so she's probably just trying to do the best she can with what seems reasonable to her (or maybe even with bad information). She's not self-motivated (or perhaps educated) enough to actually read things or do any research, so it's going to be verbal guidance that's going to get through to her. You're in a great position to be this guidance, and I know you're smart and tactful enough to present it in ways she'll accept.

[beautifulmithra]

I would say something. But in passing. Just drop a light line. My advice probably wouldn't be good advice, because when something peeves me, usually I am VERY blunt about it. And I have found.. that that creates many issues in my life. :-X
I am in agreeance about the propped bottle issue. Once at Goodwill, I saw a Mom shopping, who was too busy to get the child out and hold her- so instead while strolling down the isles she just held the bottle in the baby's mouth, not even looking at her. The bottle even kept falling out while the baby was trying to suck. That's how LITTLE attention she was paying. It was sick.
And on a side note- not only does propping bottles lack bonding, it also causes an increased amount of ear infections.

You are so lucky breastfeeding came so easy to you. With what I went through, I would do anything to be in your shoes.

<3,
K

[midnytefae]

Hmmmm...maybe I'll mention that to her (about the ear infections). I mean, no one wants their baby to get sick, right? (Unless, of course, they have that whole Munchhausen (sp?) syndrome...but that's another rant, lol.)

Most of the time, I try to be straightforward with people. I just don't want to cross a line with my work, you know? And, I know that the women in our facility are already under a lot of stress; I don't want to add to that. But, maybe, sometimes something needs to be said.

Thanks for the ear infection info. I'm definitely going to mention that to her.

*huggles*

[beautifulmithra]

Np. ;)
Oh, and while we are on the breastfeeding issue.. since I am no longer (sadly) able to do it- I have some stuff I want you to have. I don't want it to go to waste and I doubt I will use any of it before it does. I have two half used jars of fenugreek, and some fennel- two tubes of lansinoh lanolin (also used a little) and some not used (but opened) lansinoh nursing pads. (Disposible). If you want any or all of these things, let me know. I will give you my email adresse and you can email me your mailing adresse.

-k

[smogkills]

I make it a point to never be critical of another's parenting. This has mostly to do with the fact that it drives me to near psychotics when someone is critical of mine. I feel like they are telling me that I don't love my kid as much as they love theirs.

[midnytefae]

I try to never be critical (unless it's in my blog and I'm blowing off steam and I know the person will never see it) of another mother. To the ladies in the shelter, if I notice something, it's part of my job to say something, as it's kind of a "living in a fishbowl" kind of situation. However, if I do end up saying anything to anyone, I try to present it in as helpful a manner as possible, kind of like, "Well, have you thought about doing insert appropriate wording here?"

With the girl I referred to in the post, I just mentioned that I knew propped bottles could lead to ear infections. She didn't know that, and as her baby already had a cold, it worried her. She is just very young and hasn't had a lot of guidance really about anything (her background makes me hurt for her), so I'm just going to be available whenever possible if she needs advice or whatever.

Thanks, though, for the reply. :D I appreciate it.

[smogkills]

I'm sorry if I made you feel defensive by it! (And if I didn't i'm glad!) I'm glad you are able to point out things to other moms in a way that isn't condecending, and it is a part of your job after all.

I work in a place where a lot of crunchy moms hang out, and I hear a lot of very judgemental statements about how children should and should not be reared. It gets old very fast. There are as many ways to bring up healthy happy children as there are children.

It sounds like you really care for this girl and her baby, and for that she is very lucky.

[midnytefae]

No, you didn't make me feel defensive. :) I just felt like I could have explained myself better in my post. :D

I think a lot of crunchy mothers are waaaaay too judgemental and self-rightous. I mean, I consider myself slightly crunchy, but I would never act like some of these women do (and I've given all of my friends permission to bitch smack me if I do, heehee). And, that's only the way they act over the internet; I would hate to see them in action in real life. I don't think it's right for them to basically tell someone they're going to parenting hell b/c they don't breastfeed/babywear/cloth diaper/whatever. I mean, they're all about doing the right thing for their children, but what are they teaching their children by behaving in such a manner?

I do care for her...I think she has a lot to learn (not just about parenting), but what 19 year old doesn't? :)