Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: A Love Story (Chapter 20)
==========
Chapter Twenty
"Where do you think he went?" Sho asked.
"Maybe Nino locked himself inside the music room. He always does that when he's writing songs." Aiba-chan offers to a very worried Ohno and Jun. "You know, the one with the black door?"
The black door wasn't hard to miss, as I pass by it on the way. I know I'm not supposed to enter restricted rooms but there wasn't a sign that said "Not Allowed" or something. I notice that the door was partly open when I walked by, music and smoke coming out of the room.
I take a peek from the small opening to find Nino sitting down in front of the piano. He was holding a guitar and his fingers were strumming the strings. There was a small table next to him, with a paper and pen. Every now and then, he would stop and scribble something, then continue playing and humming at the same time.
I stepped back and hung around, continuing to watch as he put aside his guitar and started playing on the piano. I didn't notice how small his fingers were until it was on the keys. I listened as he played. The melody was soft, harmonious yet haunting and melancholy. It reminded me of those winter nights, quiet noise that calmed my senses.
Leaning my head against the door, I listened as words weave themselves into the melody, his voice straining and wobbling against the music.
She walks into my dream
A vision appearing so bright
In the darkness, she is all
I can see
Is it okay?
Is it safe to say?
That I want what she has...
Freedom from the world
The world who only asks
for my time, which I don't
even have, not even a spare
I can only offer so much
Yet, I wonder if I can
have what she has
Like my lost soul aches for it
in the dark loneliness
I ask for things I want
but not need
I'm afraid that if
I want something else more,
people will fly away
far from my reach
leaving me in the dark
The world is so unkind
Always wanting me
But never needing me
Even the one I seek solace from
has abandoned me
Let me hold her hand
Let me touch her
A gentleness beside me
And let me wonder
if she'll ever save me
I want her
I want her to save me
Save me...
The lyrics were so sad. It was as if he was yearning for someone, or something more but not quite knowing what he was looking for...
Was he lonely? Was something great troubling him? Did something bad happen to him? Did someone hurt him? So many questions ran through my mind, thinking of the possibilities. Dark gray lined misty eyes. It's as if the world wanted something from him, something he couldn't give yet he wanted something as well, something he couldn't have.
I stare at him for a moment as he stops playing and looks down on the piano keys. I couldn't believe it. Was this Ninomiya Kazunari? The real Ninomiya Kazunari? The same one that was blackmailing me? Somehow, it seemed weird, that the person sitting there, singing the sad song and the person who's suppose to be my "boyfriend" are one and the same...
And he plays the guitar and piano....
Unfortunately, the door creaks as I stop leaning and step back, making a sound. He quickly sees me as he stops spacing out.
"Oh, if it isn't my 'girlfriend'..." He bit out sourly. "How long have you been there?" He asks quietly.
"Not long." I close the door as I let myself in. "So this is where you've been hiding." I looked around. The door led me to a spacious room, with large windows and a balcony that overlooked the whole Odaiba island. I ran over to the ledge and looked down. "Suge~"
"Oi! Get out of here!" He stood up, grabbed my arm and started shoving me towards the door.
"Why? Do you own this?" I asked.
He stopped and let me go. "No but I want to be alone so why don't you just go and get out of here??" He replied shortly.
"You know, everyone's looking for you..." I stood beside him. "They're getting worried..."
He snorts before grunting. "Yeah, right..."
"Why are you hiding out here?" I ask.
"It's none of your business, is it?" He pulls out a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. He takes a puff, closing his eyes and breathing heavily, and walks towards the balcony, leaning back against the ledge. He glances at me moodily and puffs a smoke. After a few seconds, he drops the cigarette onto the floor and stomps on it. He goes back in and sits in front of the piano once more.
I grab a chair from behind the door and sit in front of him. "Do you mind if I ask you...did you write that song?"
"Uhn." He nods at me as he picks up the guitar. He winced and twitched a bit as his left hand went around the neck.
"It's really beautiful. Are you gonna record it to be included in your upcoming album or something?"
If it was possible to kill someone using looks, then Nino's probably going to be the first to get convicted. From the way his eyes squinted (so narrow that you almost couldn't see it, like when you pull the corner of your eyes towards your temples and they disappear and you end up looking like a Chinese Panda or something...), it was as if he wanted to hit my head with the guitar. And he hasn't even said anything yet.
I bit my lower lip. "Hounto ni gomen na sai..." Did I do something wrong?
"Thanks." He cleared his throat. "No, this song isn't going to be included with the new single. Nor is it gonna be recorded - ever."
"Oh...how come? I, for one, would surely love to hear it."
He sighs and gives me a 'You must be stupid!' look. "My songs are my own - they're special. I didn't write them to end up like - like some stupid merchandise to be made money over. I write songs because I want people to listen to it - to make them happy, not let them forget it."
"You, like so many others, don't understand how I feel. Most of the songs I write are for my own, and not for commercial purposes nor are they radio-friendly. Not many people understand what I sing about anyway. Mou...I sometimes fear that my songs have no listeners. I'm afraid to let the fans hear it because I know people won't understand it. I fear my songs have no audience." He stares down at his guitar and continues to strum it.
I placed my hand over his. "Well, I'm sure some people or fans will understand it. And if they don't, and you still don't have an audience, then I'll be your audience. I'll listen to your songs, if you'll let me."
He raised his head up slowly and stared at me angrily. But his eyes (and his slightly flushed cheeks) were telling me something else.
For a second there, I wanted to stroke his cheeks for some strange reason...
Uh-oh...
I quickly slip my hand away and start to get up. But then halfway through, I feel a hand touch my arm.
"Wait." Nino's voice is quiet, his eyes somber. "Ne...why don't you come over sometime? My mom wants you to visit and it's my day off so..."
"I can't. I'm going home this week..." I slowly pull my arm away from his grasp.
He grunted something under his breath and goes back to strumming his guitar. "Did I say you come over this week?" He growled. "Whatever..." He pouted. "At least I have time to go to the police and tell them about you..."
I rolled my eyes. Is he bluffing again? "Go ahead. Tell your mom while you're at it. Break her heart, why don't you? In the end, it won't be my fault..."
I give him the thumbs up.
He shoves my hands away. "Oh, don't be modest. I won't do it alone. You'll be partly to blame for breaking an old woman's heart. Don't worry! It's no big deal. After all, you're just my "girlfriend" anyway..." He makes quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
I squeeze one eye shut. Guilt trips really make me feel...well, guilty. "Weellll....maybe I could stop by sometime. That okay?"
He hangs his head down and shrugs, hiding a small smile. "Fine. If you say so..."
"Whatever." I turn around. "By the way, do you know any ice cream shop nearby? I want to go get some ice cream."
"There's one near here, a few blocks from the parking lot downstairs." He grunted.
"Thanks!" I open the door halfway and stop. "Hey...why don't you come with me? I don't know where it is so...maybe you could show me?"
"No." He scowled. "Go find it yourself."
"Come on! Aren't you getting lonely out here? Why not keep me company? Come on! My treat! What do you say?"
==========
"Ahhhh...this really hits the spot! This is so delicious!" I took a bite of my ice cream cone. "How's yours?"
"Uhhhnnh..." was all he said as he held an ice cream cone.
"You haven't touched your ice cream yet! It's already melting! Ne, why don't you eat it?" I nudged him as I licked mine.
He stared at his ice cream before carefully taking a lick. "Ah, Umai!" He exclaimed.
"Told you..." I smiled at him as we walked along the boardwalk, the sea air breezing past us. "Ne, What's your favorite flavor?"
He shrugged. "Don't have one. I don't usually eat ice cream much...."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "What flavor did you get then?"
"Chocolate and Strawberry." He leaned over to look at mine. "You?"
"Pistachio and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. My favorite!"
He made a face as I ate my ice cream. "That looks weird!"
I rolled my eyes at him. "So...why were you hiding up there anyway? Avoiding everyone?"
"I guess you could say that..." We stop and hang around, leaning against the boardwalk railing as we continue eating our ice cream cones. "That's where I usually hide when I want to be alone. I first discovered it four years ago, when we were shooting for our show, Nama Arashi. When I don't want to be around anyone or when I just want to take a break from everything, I turn off my cell phone and hide there. Nobody knows about it but me."
"Hmmmm...." I take another bite of my cone. "Hey...I know its probably none of my business but...can I ask you something?" He nodded at me.
"Are you okay? I mean...is there something wrong? Is everything...is everything alright?"
"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?" He gave me a glare. "Baka! Why would there be something wrong?"
"I don't know...it's just that...you don't seem like yourself today..." I shake my head. "You know what? You're right - it's none of my business. I'm sorry. Not like I know what you're really like everyday. I don't even know what I'm talking about..."
He just grunts back. I shrug and let it go. We keep quiet for awhile, continuing to eat our ice cream cones.
"Demo..." His quiet voice breaks the silence.
"Want to talk about it?" I said softly, leaning slightly close.
He stares at me for a moment, then blinks. "Never mind. It's nothing."
I turn around, looking out onto the sea, my mind wandering off to the view in front of me. I close my eyes, letting myself hear the waves crash against the docks. Seagulls flying by, squawking. Ships passing under the bridge, their horns blaring loudly. The salty air passes through me, blowing my hair back. I sigh and smile, welcoming it's refreshing coldness. It feels just like when I'm back home, lying on the sand, the sun shining down on me. The world doesn't exist, life seems so simple and my body feels light, like I'm floating and -
"Hanari?"
"Hmmm...?" I slowly open my eyes and turn my head to the left.
Nino's eyes are on me. He's giving me that blank, unreadable stare again. The one that says ' I'm pretending to look at you for no reason but what I'm really doing is trying to hypnotize you' or something like that, where his eyebrows are slightly knitted together and his mouth is twisted into a semi-pout. I raise both of my eyebrows and chuckle. "What?"
He ignores my question. Instead, a free hand reaches out and brushes a few strands of my hair, the breeze making it stick against my mouth, and he tucks it behind my left ear, his knuckles delicately brushing my cheek.
"Arigatou..." I gently say as he pops the last piece of ice cream cone onto his mouth.
He nods at me as he finishes eating. "Hey...maybe we should head back. The others are probably looking for me right now. We're supposed to be having a meeting with the producers..."
We head back into the building. As we arrive at the seventh floor, we discover that we were the only people around.
Nino gave my sleeve a tug. "Race you!" He yelled and started running down the hallway.
Not one to lose, I run after him, still holding my almost finished ice cream cone. We try to outrun each other until he stops in front of a door.
I lean against the nearest wall, breathing hard.
He points at me and starts laughing. "Nani?" I ask him as my eyes follow his hand. Looking down, I see that I'm still holding my ice cream cone.
I shove the last piece of cone into my mouth, chewing fast. He stands beside me, trying to catch his breath.
The door opens and a guy comes out, seeing us. "Ninomiya-san! There you are! Please hurry up! The meeting is about to start..." He shakes his head as he closes the door.
He peels his back off the wall and turns to me. "That's my cue to go. Thanks. For the ice cream."
I step forward and turn to him. "No problem. Next time, your treat, okay?"
"Uh-huh..." Raising a finger, he points to the corner of my mouth. "Wait! You've got...something on your mouth..."
"On my mouth? Where?" My fingers quickly touch my mouth and every surrounding area.
"There." He grips my wrist, taking my hand away. I flinch back as he leans closer, his index finger wipes the right corner of my mouth. He raises his finger so I can see.
"Thanks..." My head slightly bows. "Um...Nino?" I nod at my wrist, which he's still gripping with his fingers, signaling him to let it go.
But he doesn't. Instead, he draws me towards him and his lips are brushing against mine. One hand cups the side of my face, pulling me closer. I groan slightly and try to push him away but he only kisses me more, his soft lips pressing deeper. Just as he opens his mouth, I move, pulling myself back a few centimeters from him. His lips lightly graze the corners of my mouth, nibbling gently at my bottom lip.
"Maybe we should stop..." Why do I feel so stupid and guilty all of a sudden? Oh, because I let him kiss me - again! I hope nobody saw us...
He lets go of my hand and steps back. He brushes my lips with his thumb, wiping it slowly. And I'm just standing there stupidly, with my eyes half-closed and my mouth pouting.
What am I doing?? Oh no! My mind is screaming logic that this is wrong and I'm probably going to hell but...why do I really like it? Maybe there is something wrong with me. This goes against all my personal rules, I shouldn't even be doing this and--
He suddenly makes a sound, breaking me away from my thoughts, and I know - no, I can feel him smirking. He's smirking at me, I know it.
I open my eyes to find him smiling smugly at me. I shake my head and turn to the side. My ears are probably turning pink right now, aren't they?
I pointed over my shoulders to the hallway behind me. "I'm...I'm gonna go. Bye..."
"Ja ne!" He quickly gives me a kiss on the cheek before quickly disappearing into the room.
==========
i've got nothing…except i'm lazy. that's it.
[and did i mention i got my muse a blog? how sad...]
==========
Chapter Twenty
"Where do you think he went?" Sho asked.
"Maybe Nino locked himself inside the music room. He always does that when he's writing songs." Aiba-chan offers to a very worried Ohno and Jun. "You know, the one with the black door?"
The black door wasn't hard to miss, as I pass by it on the way. I know I'm not supposed to enter restricted rooms but there wasn't a sign that said "Not Allowed" or something. I notice that the door was partly open when I walked by, music and smoke coming out of the room.
I take a peek from the small opening to find Nino sitting down in front of the piano. He was holding a guitar and his fingers were strumming the strings. There was a small table next to him, with a paper and pen. Every now and then, he would stop and scribble something, then continue playing and humming at the same time.
I stepped back and hung around, continuing to watch as he put aside his guitar and started playing on the piano. I didn't notice how small his fingers were until it was on the keys. I listened as he played. The melody was soft, harmonious yet haunting and melancholy. It reminded me of those winter nights, quiet noise that calmed my senses.
Leaning my head against the door, I listened as words weave themselves into the melody, his voice straining and wobbling against the music.
She walks into my dream
A vision appearing so bright
In the darkness, she is all
I can see
Is it okay?
Is it safe to say?
That I want what she has...
Freedom from the world
The world who only asks
for my time, which I don't
even have, not even a spare
I can only offer so much
Yet, I wonder if I can
have what she has
Like my lost soul aches for it
in the dark loneliness
I ask for things I want
but not need
I'm afraid that if
I want something else more,
people will fly away
far from my reach
leaving me in the dark
The world is so unkind
Always wanting me
But never needing me
Even the one I seek solace from
has abandoned me
Let me hold her hand
Let me touch her
A gentleness beside me
And let me wonder
if she'll ever save me
I want her
I want her to save me
Save me...
The lyrics were so sad. It was as if he was yearning for someone, or something more but not quite knowing what he was looking for...
Was he lonely? Was something great troubling him? Did something bad happen to him? Did someone hurt him? So many questions ran through my mind, thinking of the possibilities. Dark gray lined misty eyes. It's as if the world wanted something from him, something he couldn't give yet he wanted something as well, something he couldn't have.
I stare at him for a moment as he stops playing and looks down on the piano keys. I couldn't believe it. Was this Ninomiya Kazunari? The real Ninomiya Kazunari? The same one that was blackmailing me? Somehow, it seemed weird, that the person sitting there, singing the sad song and the person who's suppose to be my "boyfriend" are one and the same...
And he plays the guitar and piano....
Unfortunately, the door creaks as I stop leaning and step back, making a sound. He quickly sees me as he stops spacing out.
"Oh, if it isn't my 'girlfriend'..." He bit out sourly. "How long have you been there?" He asks quietly.
"Not long." I close the door as I let myself in. "So this is where you've been hiding." I looked around. The door led me to a spacious room, with large windows and a balcony that overlooked the whole Odaiba island. I ran over to the ledge and looked down. "Suge~"
"Oi! Get out of here!" He stood up, grabbed my arm and started shoving me towards the door.
"Why? Do you own this?" I asked.
He stopped and let me go. "No but I want to be alone so why don't you just go and get out of here??" He replied shortly.
"You know, everyone's looking for you..." I stood beside him. "They're getting worried..."
He snorts before grunting. "Yeah, right..."
"Why are you hiding out here?" I ask.
"It's none of your business, is it?" He pulls out a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. He takes a puff, closing his eyes and breathing heavily, and walks towards the balcony, leaning back against the ledge. He glances at me moodily and puffs a smoke. After a few seconds, he drops the cigarette onto the floor and stomps on it. He goes back in and sits in front of the piano once more.
I grab a chair from behind the door and sit in front of him. "Do you mind if I ask you...did you write that song?"
"Uhn." He nods at me as he picks up the guitar. He winced and twitched a bit as his left hand went around the neck.
"It's really beautiful. Are you gonna record it to be included in your upcoming album or something?"
If it was possible to kill someone using looks, then Nino's probably going to be the first to get convicted. From the way his eyes squinted (so narrow that you almost couldn't see it, like when you pull the corner of your eyes towards your temples and they disappear and you end up looking like a Chinese Panda or something...), it was as if he wanted to hit my head with the guitar. And he hasn't even said anything yet.
I bit my lower lip. "Hounto ni gomen na sai..." Did I do something wrong?
"Thanks." He cleared his throat. "No, this song isn't going to be included with the new single. Nor is it gonna be recorded - ever."
"Oh...how come? I, for one, would surely love to hear it."
He sighs and gives me a 'You must be stupid!' look. "My songs are my own - they're special. I didn't write them to end up like - like some stupid merchandise to be made money over. I write songs because I want people to listen to it - to make them happy, not let them forget it."
"You, like so many others, don't understand how I feel. Most of the songs I write are for my own, and not for commercial purposes nor are they radio-friendly. Not many people understand what I sing about anyway. Mou...I sometimes fear that my songs have no listeners. I'm afraid to let the fans hear it because I know people won't understand it. I fear my songs have no audience." He stares down at his guitar and continues to strum it.
I placed my hand over his. "Well, I'm sure some people or fans will understand it. And if they don't, and you still don't have an audience, then I'll be your audience. I'll listen to your songs, if you'll let me."
He raised his head up slowly and stared at me angrily. But his eyes (and his slightly flushed cheeks) were telling me something else.
For a second there, I wanted to stroke his cheeks for some strange reason...
Uh-oh...
I quickly slip my hand away and start to get up. But then halfway through, I feel a hand touch my arm.
"Wait." Nino's voice is quiet, his eyes somber. "Ne...why don't you come over sometime? My mom wants you to visit and it's my day off so..."
"I can't. I'm going home this week..." I slowly pull my arm away from his grasp.
He grunted something under his breath and goes back to strumming his guitar. "Did I say you come over this week?" He growled. "Whatever..." He pouted. "At least I have time to go to the police and tell them about you..."
I rolled my eyes. Is he bluffing again? "Go ahead. Tell your mom while you're at it. Break her heart, why don't you? In the end, it won't be my fault..."
I give him the thumbs up.
He shoves my hands away. "Oh, don't be modest. I won't do it alone. You'll be partly to blame for breaking an old woman's heart. Don't worry! It's no big deal. After all, you're just my "girlfriend" anyway..." He makes quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
I squeeze one eye shut. Guilt trips really make me feel...well, guilty. "Weellll....maybe I could stop by sometime. That okay?"
He hangs his head down and shrugs, hiding a small smile. "Fine. If you say so..."
"Whatever." I turn around. "By the way, do you know any ice cream shop nearby? I want to go get some ice cream."
"There's one near here, a few blocks from the parking lot downstairs." He grunted.
"Thanks!" I open the door halfway and stop. "Hey...why don't you come with me? I don't know where it is so...maybe you could show me?"
"No." He scowled. "Go find it yourself."
"Come on! Aren't you getting lonely out here? Why not keep me company? Come on! My treat! What do you say?"
==========
"Ahhhh...this really hits the spot! This is so delicious!" I took a bite of my ice cream cone. "How's yours?"
"Uhhhnnh..." was all he said as he held an ice cream cone.
"You haven't touched your ice cream yet! It's already melting! Ne, why don't you eat it?" I nudged him as I licked mine.
He stared at his ice cream before carefully taking a lick. "Ah, Umai!" He exclaimed.
"Told you..." I smiled at him as we walked along the boardwalk, the sea air breezing past us. "Ne, What's your favorite flavor?"
He shrugged. "Don't have one. I don't usually eat ice cream much...."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "What flavor did you get then?"
"Chocolate and Strawberry." He leaned over to look at mine. "You?"
"Pistachio and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. My favorite!"
He made a face as I ate my ice cream. "That looks weird!"
I rolled my eyes at him. "So...why were you hiding up there anyway? Avoiding everyone?"
"I guess you could say that..." We stop and hang around, leaning against the boardwalk railing as we continue eating our ice cream cones. "That's where I usually hide when I want to be alone. I first discovered it four years ago, when we were shooting for our show, Nama Arashi. When I don't want to be around anyone or when I just want to take a break from everything, I turn off my cell phone and hide there. Nobody knows about it but me."
"Hmmmm...." I take another bite of my cone. "Hey...I know its probably none of my business but...can I ask you something?" He nodded at me.
"Are you okay? I mean...is there something wrong? Is everything...is everything alright?"
"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?" He gave me a glare. "Baka! Why would there be something wrong?"
"I don't know...it's just that...you don't seem like yourself today..." I shake my head. "You know what? You're right - it's none of my business. I'm sorry. Not like I know what you're really like everyday. I don't even know what I'm talking about..."
He just grunts back. I shrug and let it go. We keep quiet for awhile, continuing to eat our ice cream cones.
"Demo..." His quiet voice breaks the silence.
"Want to talk about it?" I said softly, leaning slightly close.
He stares at me for a moment, then blinks. "Never mind. It's nothing."
I turn around, looking out onto the sea, my mind wandering off to the view in front of me. I close my eyes, letting myself hear the waves crash against the docks. Seagulls flying by, squawking. Ships passing under the bridge, their horns blaring loudly. The salty air passes through me, blowing my hair back. I sigh and smile, welcoming it's refreshing coldness. It feels just like when I'm back home, lying on the sand, the sun shining down on me. The world doesn't exist, life seems so simple and my body feels light, like I'm floating and -
"Hanari?"
"Hmmm...?" I slowly open my eyes and turn my head to the left.
Nino's eyes are on me. He's giving me that blank, unreadable stare again. The one that says ' I'm pretending to look at you for no reason but what I'm really doing is trying to hypnotize you' or something like that, where his eyebrows are slightly knitted together and his mouth is twisted into a semi-pout. I raise both of my eyebrows and chuckle. "What?"
He ignores my question. Instead, a free hand reaches out and brushes a few strands of my hair, the breeze making it stick against my mouth, and he tucks it behind my left ear, his knuckles delicately brushing my cheek.
"Arigatou..." I gently say as he pops the last piece of ice cream cone onto his mouth.
He nods at me as he finishes eating. "Hey...maybe we should head back. The others are probably looking for me right now. We're supposed to be having a meeting with the producers..."
We head back into the building. As we arrive at the seventh floor, we discover that we were the only people around.
Nino gave my sleeve a tug. "Race you!" He yelled and started running down the hallway.
Not one to lose, I run after him, still holding my almost finished ice cream cone. We try to outrun each other until he stops in front of a door.
I lean against the nearest wall, breathing hard.
He points at me and starts laughing. "Nani?" I ask him as my eyes follow his hand. Looking down, I see that I'm still holding my ice cream cone.
I shove the last piece of cone into my mouth, chewing fast. He stands beside me, trying to catch his breath.
The door opens and a guy comes out, seeing us. "Ninomiya-san! There you are! Please hurry up! The meeting is about to start..." He shakes his head as he closes the door.
He peels his back off the wall and turns to me. "That's my cue to go. Thanks. For the ice cream."
I step forward and turn to him. "No problem. Next time, your treat, okay?"
"Uh-huh..." Raising a finger, he points to the corner of my mouth. "Wait! You've got...something on your mouth..."
"On my mouth? Where?" My fingers quickly touch my mouth and every surrounding area.
"There." He grips my wrist, taking my hand away. I flinch back as he leans closer, his index finger wipes the right corner of my mouth. He raises his finger so I can see.
"Thanks..." My head slightly bows. "Um...Nino?" I nod at my wrist, which he's still gripping with his fingers, signaling him to let it go.
But he doesn't. Instead, he draws me towards him and his lips are brushing against mine. One hand cups the side of my face, pulling me closer. I groan slightly and try to push him away but he only kisses me more, his soft lips pressing deeper. Just as he opens his mouth, I move, pulling myself back a few centimeters from him. His lips lightly graze the corners of my mouth, nibbling gently at my bottom lip.
"Maybe we should stop..." Why do I feel so stupid and guilty all of a sudden? Oh, because I let him kiss me - again! I hope nobody saw us...
He lets go of my hand and steps back. He brushes my lips with his thumb, wiping it slowly. And I'm just standing there stupidly, with my eyes half-closed and my mouth pouting.
What am I doing?? Oh no! My mind is screaming logic that this is wrong and I'm probably going to hell but...why do I really like it? Maybe there is something wrong with me. This goes against all my personal rules, I shouldn't even be doing this and--
He suddenly makes a sound, breaking me away from my thoughts, and I know - no, I can feel him smirking. He's smirking at me, I know it.
I open my eyes to find him smiling smugly at me. I shake my head and turn to the side. My ears are probably turning pink right now, aren't they?
I pointed over my shoulders to the hallway behind me. "I'm...I'm gonna go. Bye..."
"Ja ne!" He quickly gives me a kiss on the cheek before quickly disappearing into the room.
==========
i've got nothing…except i'm lazy. that's it.
[and did i mention i got my muse a blog? how sad...]
==========