Oops, Wrong Send! (Chapter 3)
----------
Chapter 3
October 4, 2006
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Stupid alarm clock. And stupid traffic. >__<"
I woke up late again today. Came to school late. Slept most of the time throughout my last class. Barely made it in time to work.
Damn it. I need coffee.
I'm clearly not thinking straight today. Who would be, what with only six hours of sleep?? I made like a zombie and dragged myself around school most of today. I felt so sleepy that I couldn't even understand what was going on in my classes. My mind mostly drifted off to dreamland...
I've been thinking some stuff for the spare time that I had and...well, I've been thinking...maybe it's time for a change. I'm not really satisfied with the way things have been going lately and...actually, scratch that. I'm not satisfied with the way things have been going for the last few months and I think a change would do me some good.
I don't know what brought on this idea but I just thought...I'm attracting bad karma and in order for me to get rid of it, I have to attract good ones. I don't exactly know how I'm gonna do that but all my mind kept screaming was to change my life. Nothing big or major, just little changes. Which is a good thing because tomorrow is the school's Setsubun celebration. A little late considering the fact that the festival has already passed but...eh, whatever. Its not too late to make some changes.
So I've decided. Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna start some changes in my life. I resolve to be more proactive in my life instead of being passive. I resolve to be the lead heroine instead of just merely playing a minor character in my life. I resolve to live my life the way I want to. Furthermore, I resolve to do the following things:
a. Eat more healthily.
b. Be more punctual.
c. Sleep 8 hours a day.
d. Be more organized.
e. Be more outgoing.
f. Be more responsible.
g. Spend more time with family and friends.
h. Be more physically active.
i. Be more environment-conscious.
j. Read more books.
k. Enjoy being single.
I'm serious about the last one. After what happened last night, I'm through with guys and love. I don't need the drama and I don't need the complication. Frankly, I never appreciated how simple my life was before everything happened. I forgot how much I enjoyed being single.
To be honest, I'm actually thankful that Nino rejected me. It made me see the error of my ways and made me see what a stupid thing I've been doing. What the hell was I thinking??!! Falling in love with Nino??!! I was about to fall in love and with Nino! Of all people! Yuck!! Who the heck wants to fall in love with that guy??
Gross. Now I feel like throwing up.
Ugh. What a joke. That could've probably been the worst thing I could've done - seriously. Falling for a player like him is a dangerous thing. Good thing he stopped me before I completely did it. In hindsight, I'm actually glad he did me a favor. At least now, I have no more reason to be tied to him or whatever.
So it's settled then. Starting tomorrow, my new routine will be in effect. I will resolve to challenge myself by doing it...just as soon as I finish eating my sandwich...and my Macaroni salad...and my Chocolate pie...
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hanari wrote at 0 1: 3 1: 5 6 p.m.
**********
October 4, 2006
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well, that went well...
It wasn't what I actually expected but...then again, I guess I deserve it. From here on out, I guess I deserve everything that's gonna come my way.
I never told anyone why I left Tokyo. And I never told anyone why I left Kyoto and came back here. I only left word to my aunt that I was coming back to Tokyo but my reasons are my own. The real reason why is because I felt it was time for me to change my life, time to atone for my sins.
That was my mission when I finally left the train station, with my remaining piece of dignity left, and standing in front of Studio 8. People must probably be wondering what the heck is a bathroom-smelling girl with a large duffel bag doing in Shibuya. Good question...I'm wondering myself too...
I knocked on the door, hoping to find my senior and only friend back in high school. I wasn't sure but I had to take a chance. I came all the way from Kyoto and I didn't have anything else left to lose.
The door opens...and there she was. It took me a few seconds to realize it was her - my senior. I almost didn't recognize her since she was wearing denim jeans, a white sleeveless top and a red jacket, her long dark hair loose.
"What - " I guess she was shocked too because it was written all over her face. " - Sume?! SUME??!! What are you doing here?!" There was a spot of mayonnaise on the left corner of her lips, which she wipes with the back of her hand. She quickly peeks out of the door, looking to her left then right.
She suddenly pulls me in and shuts the door. My wrists are being gripped and I'm being dragged across the hallway and into a room. The door suddenly closes, leaving me and her.
She sits on a chair and continues to eat. I just stood there, watching her. For some reason, I felt that the atmosphere had suddenly changed. Her back was turned to me.
"Sen - " I started to say but she cuts me off. "What are you doing here?" Her voice is cold.
I wanted to say something but no words came out. After a few minutes, she spoke again. "You left me."
"You left me." She says again. "You were my only friend in that god forsaken school, and you left me."
I sighed. I couldn't argue with that. Well, what did you expect? It's the truth. "I'm sorry." It was all I could think of to say.
I watched as a hand go up to her face. "Sure you are."
"I am. Listen, I never meant to leave you. Heck, I never meant to leave!"
"So why did you?"
"It's not like I had a choice!" I close my eyes and sigh. I could feel my temper rising again and tried to reign it in. "Remember the last time you saw me? That was a friday, right? Well, that night, my father came home - on time for once. He came home for dinner and...announced he wanted a divorce from my mother." I winced as soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth. I never wanted to tell her this but I felt I had no other choice.
"What?! Your parents got divorced?" She turns her chair around and faces me.
I nodded and proceeded to tell her everything - how my mother destroyed all his pictures, how she packed our bags and dragged me along to Kyoto, etc. I didn't tell her about the part how I couldn't bring myself to contact her or any of my other friends because I was too ashamed about what happened.
"But...why didn't you call?" Her voice became soft.
"My mother banned me from calling anyone." I lied. "She was paranoid I would call my dad. She feared he would take me away from her. Plus, we were living with my grandparents, people who've never heard of computers or a telephone."
"Oh..." She shakes her head slightly. "All this time I thought you were dead, never to come back..."
I reach across the table and take her hands into mine. "Hanari-senpai, I'm sorry I never called. And I'm sorry I left you. I never meant to. You know that. That's why I came back - because I'm staying for good."
"Really?"
"Yeah. The good news is that I'm staying here - permanently. Is that okay?"
She nods. "Just promise me one thing."
"What?"
"Next time you leave, at least leave a number or address before you go!" She playfully slapped my hand.
I raise a hand up. "Okay, okay! I promise."
"Sume, I'm glad you're back."
"You know what? So am I."
And you know what? I am actually glad to be back. it's been awhile since I felt that "at-home" feeling...
It does feel good to be back, doesn't it?
Watch out, Tokyo! Sume is back in town!
*evil laugh*
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
My name is Sume wrote at 0 2: 2 8: 3 1 p.m.
**********
October 5, 2006
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Mixed feelings
So...
So...
So...Sume's back in town. Its actually...um...a little weird.
Sume was my only friend back in high school. I had quite a few acquaintances back then but no real friend. She was the only one.
It's weird saying that cos I never thought I would be saying it. "Sume's back in town". Did she ever really leave town?
I never told anyone but I was devastated when she left suddenly. I spent one friday with her in school, not knowing it would be the last time I would see her. When I woke up on monday, she was gone. Everyone acted sad for a minute and then forgot about her. I kept asking myself all that time, what happened?
She says her parents got divorced. Which is a little bit shocking considering that her parents were the very image of marital and domestic bliss.
*sighs*
I guess it was just as hard for her to go through as it was for me without her. I could imagine the pain of being alone at a time when your parents are separating, with no one to turn to and changing schools suddenly. But still, she could've called me or sent me an email. She knows where I live.
There are times when I think about those last few months at school. The first few days, I had hoped that she would come back. I would always watch the door and thought that whoever opened the door would be Sume. Days turned to weeks, which turned into months. Eventually I gave up. I spent the next few months wandering the halls, not caring anymore. I never felt more alone in my life. So many things happened and -
I grew up and I realized that loneliness was just a word. And that everything is just temporary.
Don't know how I really feel abt the whole thing. On the one hand, I'm happy but on the other, I'm...I'm not really sure about this. I mean, is this the real Sume? It looks like her but...is it the same girl I knew from back then? I guess...I'm just a little bit hesitant to welcome her back since I fear that this might not be permanent.
I'm thinking I should adopt a wait-and-see attitude. Wait and see how things go. But I don't want to get too attached. I don't think I can take it any more than I can now...
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hanari wrote at 0 8: 4 5: 2 7 p.m.
----------
err...hmm...
the exciting part is yet to come. chapter 2 is here, chapter 1 is here & prologue is here.
as always, comments are <3!
----------
Chapter 3
October 4, 2006
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Stupid alarm clock. And stupid traffic. >__<"
I woke up late again today. Came to school late. Slept most of the time throughout my last class. Barely made it in time to work.
Damn it. I need coffee.
I'm clearly not thinking straight today. Who would be, what with only six hours of sleep?? I made like a zombie and dragged myself around school most of today. I felt so sleepy that I couldn't even understand what was going on in my classes. My mind mostly drifted off to dreamland...
I've been thinking some stuff for the spare time that I had and...well, I've been thinking...maybe it's time for a change. I'm not really satisfied with the way things have been going lately and...actually, scratch that. I'm not satisfied with the way things have been going for the last few months and I think a change would do me some good.
I don't know what brought on this idea but I just thought...I'm attracting bad karma and in order for me to get rid of it, I have to attract good ones. I don't exactly know how I'm gonna do that but all my mind kept screaming was to change my life. Nothing big or major, just little changes. Which is a good thing because tomorrow is the school's Setsubun celebration. A little late considering the fact that the festival has already passed but...eh, whatever. Its not too late to make some changes.
So I've decided. Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna start some changes in my life. I resolve to be more proactive in my life instead of being passive. I resolve to be the lead heroine instead of just merely playing a minor character in my life. I resolve to live my life the way I want to. Furthermore, I resolve to do the following things:
a. Eat more healthily.
b. Be more punctual.
c. Sleep 8 hours a day.
d. Be more organized.
e. Be more outgoing.
f. Be more responsible.
g. Spend more time with family and friends.
h. Be more physically active.
i. Be more environment-conscious.
j. Read more books.
k. Enjoy being single.
I'm serious about the last one. After what happened last night, I'm through with guys and love. I don't need the drama and I don't need the complication. Frankly, I never appreciated how simple my life was before everything happened. I forgot how much I enjoyed being single.
To be honest, I'm actually thankful that Nino rejected me. It made me see the error of my ways and made me see what a stupid thing I've been doing. What the hell was I thinking??!! Falling in love with Nino??!! I was about to fall in love and with Nino! Of all people! Yuck!! Who the heck wants to fall in love with that guy??
Gross. Now I feel like throwing up.
Ugh. What a joke. That could've probably been the worst thing I could've done - seriously. Falling for a player like him is a dangerous thing. Good thing he stopped me before I completely did it. In hindsight, I'm actually glad he did me a favor. At least now, I have no more reason to be tied to him or whatever.
So it's settled then. Starting tomorrow, my new routine will be in effect. I will resolve to challenge myself by doing it...just as soon as I finish eating my sandwich...and my Macaroni salad...and my Chocolate pie...
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hanari wrote at 0 1: 3 1: 5 6 p.m.
**********
October 4, 2006
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well, that went well...
It wasn't what I actually expected but...then again, I guess I deserve it. From here on out, I guess I deserve everything that's gonna come my way.
I never told anyone why I left Tokyo. And I never told anyone why I left Kyoto and came back here. I only left word to my aunt that I was coming back to Tokyo but my reasons are my own. The real reason why is because I felt it was time for me to change my life, time to atone for my sins.
That was my mission when I finally left the train station, with my remaining piece of dignity left, and standing in front of Studio 8. People must probably be wondering what the heck is a bathroom-smelling girl with a large duffel bag doing in Shibuya. Good question...I'm wondering myself too...
I knocked on the door, hoping to find my senior and only friend back in high school. I wasn't sure but I had to take a chance. I came all the way from Kyoto and I didn't have anything else left to lose.
The door opens...and there she was. It took me a few seconds to realize it was her - my senior. I almost didn't recognize her since she was wearing denim jeans, a white sleeveless top and a red jacket, her long dark hair loose.
"What - " I guess she was shocked too because it was written all over her face. " - Sume?! SUME??!! What are you doing here?!" There was a spot of mayonnaise on the left corner of her lips, which she wipes with the back of her hand. She quickly peeks out of the door, looking to her left then right.
She suddenly pulls me in and shuts the door. My wrists are being gripped and I'm being dragged across the hallway and into a room. The door suddenly closes, leaving me and her.
She sits on a chair and continues to eat. I just stood there, watching her. For some reason, I felt that the atmosphere had suddenly changed. Her back was turned to me.
"Sen - " I started to say but she cuts me off. "What are you doing here?" Her voice is cold.
I wanted to say something but no words came out. After a few minutes, she spoke again. "You left me."
"You left me." She says again. "You were my only friend in that god forsaken school, and you left me."
I sighed. I couldn't argue with that. Well, what did you expect? It's the truth. "I'm sorry." It was all I could think of to say.
I watched as a hand go up to her face. "Sure you are."
"I am. Listen, I never meant to leave you. Heck, I never meant to leave!"
"So why did you?"
"It's not like I had a choice!" I close my eyes and sigh. I could feel my temper rising again and tried to reign it in. "Remember the last time you saw me? That was a friday, right? Well, that night, my father came home - on time for once. He came home for dinner and...announced he wanted a divorce from my mother." I winced as soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth. I never wanted to tell her this but I felt I had no other choice.
"What?! Your parents got divorced?" She turns her chair around and faces me.
I nodded and proceeded to tell her everything - how my mother destroyed all his pictures, how she packed our bags and dragged me along to Kyoto, etc. I didn't tell her about the part how I couldn't bring myself to contact her or any of my other friends because I was too ashamed about what happened.
"But...why didn't you call?" Her voice became soft.
"My mother banned me from calling anyone." I lied. "She was paranoid I would call my dad. She feared he would take me away from her. Plus, we were living with my grandparents, people who've never heard of computers or a telephone."
"Oh..." She shakes her head slightly. "All this time I thought you were dead, never to come back..."
I reach across the table and take her hands into mine. "Hanari-senpai, I'm sorry I never called. And I'm sorry I left you. I never meant to. You know that. That's why I came back - because I'm staying for good."
"Really?"
"Yeah. The good news is that I'm staying here - permanently. Is that okay?"
She nods. "Just promise me one thing."
"What?"
"Next time you leave, at least leave a number or address before you go!" She playfully slapped my hand.
I raise a hand up. "Okay, okay! I promise."
"Sume, I'm glad you're back."
"You know what? So am I."
And you know what? I am actually glad to be back. it's been awhile since I felt that "at-home" feeling...
It does feel good to be back, doesn't it?
Watch out, Tokyo! Sume is back in town!
*evil laugh*
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
My name is Sume wrote at 0 2: 2 8: 3 1 p.m.
**********
October 5, 2006
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Mixed feelings
So...
So...
So...Sume's back in town. Its actually...um...a little weird.
Sume was my only friend back in high school. I had quite a few acquaintances back then but no real friend. She was the only one.
It's weird saying that cos I never thought I would be saying it. "Sume's back in town". Did she ever really leave town?
I never told anyone but I was devastated when she left suddenly. I spent one friday with her in school, not knowing it would be the last time I would see her. When I woke up on monday, she was gone. Everyone acted sad for a minute and then forgot about her. I kept asking myself all that time, what happened?
She says her parents got divorced. Which is a little bit shocking considering that her parents were the very image of marital and domestic bliss.
*sighs*
I guess it was just as hard for her to go through as it was for me without her. I could imagine the pain of being alone at a time when your parents are separating, with no one to turn to and changing schools suddenly. But still, she could've called me or sent me an email. She knows where I live.
There are times when I think about those last few months at school. The first few days, I had hoped that she would come back. I would always watch the door and thought that whoever opened the door would be Sume. Days turned to weeks, which turned into months. Eventually I gave up. I spent the next few months wandering the halls, not caring anymore. I never felt more alone in my life. So many things happened and -
I grew up and I realized that loneliness was just a word. And that everything is just temporary.
Don't know how I really feel abt the whole thing. On the one hand, I'm happy but on the other, I'm...I'm not really sure about this. I mean, is this the real Sume? It looks like her but...is it the same girl I knew from back then? I guess...I'm just a little bit hesitant to welcome her back since I fear that this might not be permanent.
I'm thinking I should adopt a wait-and-see attitude. Wait and see how things go. But I don't want to get too attached. I don't think I can take it any more than I can now...
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hanari wrote at 0 8: 4 5: 2 7 p.m.
----------
err...hmm...
the exciting part is yet to come. chapter 2 is here, chapter 1 is here & prologue is here.
as always, comments are <3!
----------