Untitled
Title: Untitled
Pairings: Yukido/Haiki
Disclaimer: I don’t own neither of them …this is a fiction only.
Genre : Drama/AU (multichapter)
Summary: Yukihiro struggles in accepting himself as he struggles to fight his loneliness.
Chapter 1
It always easier to hurt people than to make them happy… I guess that’s why I couldn’t feel the true happiness and its hurting me.
There’s so many things that he could name if someone asked him what he wants in his life that he could never get. He wants to have a childhood just like all the other kids; he wants to have many friends, he wants to have a best friend; he wants to be happy all the time; he wants to see the world outside his comfort zone; he wants to be independent, he wanted his parents to be less overprotecting him; but most of all, he wanted someone that would understand him, someone that understand what he feel when he ‘voice out’ his heart even though that person does not understand his ‘way’ of communicate or even if he’s not communicating at all. Someone that does not look at him with that stereotype looks again that everyone always gave when they realize what he lack of… and maybe; just maybe, if that person understand him better than no one else, then that person would know that he was lonely… so lonely that he always wonders how it feels like to love someone so much and that person would love him back; he wanted to feel it so bad because he knew that if he had a person love him that much, he wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.
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Yukihiro walks through the crowds, going into the routine that he adapted for the past three months. It was obvious, even his family could tell that he was happy with his new found life; the fact that now he live by himself away from his family. Going to work every day even though it wasn’t much of a real work, just a small job at a record store own by his father’s best friend; but its’ surely enough to make him feel better about himself. He sick of being told to stay at home all the time, some time he felt like his parents were being unreasonable over his ‘safety’; he understand that they were worried, but it was almost like too much. Ever since he was little he realize that his parents treating him differently even if compared to his little sister; unlike his only sibling, yukihiro never went to school, his parents hire tutors for home-schooling instead. He never had a chance to go out if without his parents’ supervision, in which they will come along to wherever yukihiro wanted to go. It’s was just only after his little sister was old enough to be permitted to go out on her own that yukihiro got a chance to go out without his parents tagging along, though its’ mean that he has to be ‘babysit’ by his younger sister instead. They also never really allowed him to go around play with other kids when he was little. Yukihiro always hated the non-existence rules that his parents made for all his life; just because it happen once to yukihiro, his parents were so paranoid that it could happen again. It was a miracle that he could wheedled his parents in agreeing that its’ about time that he learn how to earns his own leaving, it was a hard-work but it worthwhile when his parents finally said ‘yes’ to him.
The pays wasn’t much but it was enough for him to make up his living independently; he loves his work, the owner of that small record store was really kind to him. That ‘old guy’ always said that he loves yukihiro company whenever they went out eating together; despite the facts that yukihiro doesn’t drink and that guy always ends up drunk every time. The old guy always used that particular moment to open up his problems to yukihiro; whether it was about his business to even his personal life, he shared it with yukihiro.
“You always gave the best responds… aren’t like some other kids though…” Said that guy to yukihiro once, after he’s complaining about his car that broke down then babbling on something else in his drunken-mode.
The above mention ‘respond’ and all of the other ‘responds’ that yukihiro always gave whenever they communicate wasn’t that much impressive rather than his nodding or shook his head, give a sincere smile or shrugged his shoulders according to the necessities of the situation, or give sympathetic or empathy looks on his face if needed. Though it was his sincerity and attentively listening to no matter what the story that; that guy has to offer is what makes him special.
And as the routine goes like all the other days; yukihiro would never forget to stop and stare at the huge screen up high on a building at that busy street, which always plays random music-related videos while on his way to work. Yukihiro fond for music ever since he was a kid; he loves listen to it and that what makes him preoccupied by himself, it’s safe to say that music have been his only friend and that what’s kept him happy every days. Today was a special day; the huge screen plays an interview video of one of the biggest rock band in japan, there’s a big crowds filling in front of that huge screen and yukihiro stuck in the middle of that massive crowds. Everyone in japan is a fan of that band and yukihiro is no exception; though to say that he was a fanatic fan is a litle too much. The crowds all excites up to watch the interview that the noises were all yukihiro could hear, he couldn’t even understand nor to even concentrate to the interview. Soon the huge screen plays the latest single from the band; and all of a sudden as the singer lends his voice out, all the noises shut away from yukihiro’s ears. The crowds are still talking, in fact there were some of them that are screaming; but only the singer’s mellow voice that lingers in yukihiro’s head as he sang that ballad song. Yukihiro’s eyes widened, he looks around and see everyone in the crowds was talking but everything were mute except for that singer’s voice; he shut his eyes then that’s when he realize there were aching pain beneath his chest. As yukihiro opened his eyes, he quickly turns around and makes his way escaping the crowds; his chest still feel that throbbing pain, so yukihiro start to fasten his speed and eventually pushing some of the people that was in his way.
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Yukihiro ready to broke into full-speed run as soon as he was out from the small-sea of people, but he then bump into someone really hard that he fall onto the ground. The first thing that yukihiro spotted as he opened his eyes was his bento already fall upside-down next to him, his hand only could reach out half way to it before he realize that will be useless effort as he lunch could considered as ruin already.
“Ahh I’m really sorry… Are you alright?” Yukihiro looked up and saw a hand was offered to his way; he accepted the offered help and stood up. The guy he bumps into was shorter than him in height, looks all worried. Then the guy bend down and reaching for something on the floor.
“I guess this is yours right?” He handed yukihiro’s mp3 while his eyes looks around. Yukihiro nods and took the mp3 then bow down his head a little in thanking gesture. It was later then that guy’s eyes went wide at the direction nearer to yukihiro’s feet.
“Oh shit! Your bento… I ruined your bento… I ‘m really sorry… Let me make up to it… I can get you another one… or I can buy you something else… I’m really sorry… Let’s find something” That guy seems like couldn’t stop the streaming words come out from his mouth due to his overwhelmed guilt, while yukihiro felt like its’ was all his owns fault. Yukihiro shook his head to that guy’s offer with a soft smile and brush away his apology with his right hand.
“No… I have to do something for you…” He grab yukihiro’s right hand and gently pulled it forward in suggestion of finding a place he could buy yukihiro a lunch.
“Now we just have to find a place that sold foods… ahh… I don’t know this place much….” That guy finally turns around to yukihiro that was silently struggling to let his hand off that guy’s tight grips. When yukihiro realize the guy is now looking at him, he stop his attempt to be free and his left hand unconsciously start gesturing in the air as an effort to tell the guy that he was fine and he could bought a new one himself at his work place.
Silence…. That smaller guy eyes widen in surprise that he slowly letting yukihiro’s hand go. Yukihiro, who have just realize that he was using his hand to ‘speak’ to a well speaking guy; finally halt half way and drop his hands at his side.
“You’re mute?”
A/N: I didn't really like my writing on this one for some reason, I been going through it thousand times but I still wasn't satisfied with it, so feel free to comment on my writing as it might help me to improve for the next one. And as for the story, I got the idea for this one about more than a month ago during my practical attachment at psychiatric hospital for two weeks. Somehow all I see in those patients are their loneliness as they waited for each day to past by slowly(painful as it sounds). So everyday during my working hours, I tends to sing "Alone in la vida" and gazed at their faces blankly. Oneday when I was with my friend joining this two patient sitting together, I talked to the patient that in front of me but she didn't respond, it was my friend who told me that she was mute and deaf. It make me think that how is it to feel that feeling... I meant its hurt enough to feel lonely then I have to be mute, were I have limitation in my communication, will I ever found anyone that would understand me or will it be someone who will understand me... so yes, I become a little emotional and carried away by it, I guess it mainly because I always felt like I'm all by myself although I'm surrounded by tons of people that I know or I learn to love... but it won't fight this loneliness away, and its really hurt(seriously hurt)... to thinks I still have all those people with me and I have what she don't have make a huge difference in our lives. So there goes my long notes that could make a story on its own nee~GOMEN~
Chapter 2
Pairings: Yukido/Haiki
Disclaimer: I don’t own neither of them …this is a fiction only.
Genre : Drama/AU (multichapter)
Summary: Yukihiro struggles in accepting himself as he struggles to fight his loneliness.
Chapter 1
It always easier to hurt people than to make them happy… I guess that’s why I couldn’t feel the true happiness and its hurting me.
There’s so many things that he could name if someone asked him what he wants in his life that he could never get. He wants to have a childhood just like all the other kids; he wants to have many friends, he wants to have a best friend; he wants to be happy all the time; he wants to see the world outside his comfort zone; he wants to be independent, he wanted his parents to be less overprotecting him; but most of all, he wanted someone that would understand him, someone that understand what he feel when he ‘voice out’ his heart even though that person does not understand his ‘way’ of communicate or even if he’s not communicating at all. Someone that does not look at him with that stereotype looks again that everyone always gave when they realize what he lack of… and maybe; just maybe, if that person understand him better than no one else, then that person would know that he was lonely… so lonely that he always wonders how it feels like to love someone so much and that person would love him back; he wanted to feel it so bad because he knew that if he had a person love him that much, he wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.
---------------------------------------------------------
Yukihiro walks through the crowds, going into the routine that he adapted for the past three months. It was obvious, even his family could tell that he was happy with his new found life; the fact that now he live by himself away from his family. Going to work every day even though it wasn’t much of a real work, just a small job at a record store own by his father’s best friend; but its’ surely enough to make him feel better about himself. He sick of being told to stay at home all the time, some time he felt like his parents were being unreasonable over his ‘safety’; he understand that they were worried, but it was almost like too much. Ever since he was little he realize that his parents treating him differently even if compared to his little sister; unlike his only sibling, yukihiro never went to school, his parents hire tutors for home-schooling instead. He never had a chance to go out if without his parents’ supervision, in which they will come along to wherever yukihiro wanted to go. It’s was just only after his little sister was old enough to be permitted to go out on her own that yukihiro got a chance to go out without his parents tagging along, though its’ mean that he has to be ‘babysit’ by his younger sister instead. They also never really allowed him to go around play with other kids when he was little. Yukihiro always hated the non-existence rules that his parents made for all his life; just because it happen once to yukihiro, his parents were so paranoid that it could happen again. It was a miracle that he could wheedled his parents in agreeing that its’ about time that he learn how to earns his own leaving, it was a hard-work but it worthwhile when his parents finally said ‘yes’ to him.
The pays wasn’t much but it was enough for him to make up his living independently; he loves his work, the owner of that small record store was really kind to him. That ‘old guy’ always said that he loves yukihiro company whenever they went out eating together; despite the facts that yukihiro doesn’t drink and that guy always ends up drunk every time. The old guy always used that particular moment to open up his problems to yukihiro; whether it was about his business to even his personal life, he shared it with yukihiro.
“You always gave the best responds… aren’t like some other kids though…” Said that guy to yukihiro once, after he’s complaining about his car that broke down then babbling on something else in his drunken-mode.
The above mention ‘respond’ and all of the other ‘responds’ that yukihiro always gave whenever they communicate wasn’t that much impressive rather than his nodding or shook his head, give a sincere smile or shrugged his shoulders according to the necessities of the situation, or give sympathetic or empathy looks on his face if needed. Though it was his sincerity and attentively listening to no matter what the story that; that guy has to offer is what makes him special.
And as the routine goes like all the other days; yukihiro would never forget to stop and stare at the huge screen up high on a building at that busy street, which always plays random music-related videos while on his way to work. Yukihiro fond for music ever since he was a kid; he loves listen to it and that what makes him preoccupied by himself, it’s safe to say that music have been his only friend and that what’s kept him happy every days. Today was a special day; the huge screen plays an interview video of one of the biggest rock band in japan, there’s a big crowds filling in front of that huge screen and yukihiro stuck in the middle of that massive crowds. Everyone in japan is a fan of that band and yukihiro is no exception; though to say that he was a fanatic fan is a litle too much. The crowds all excites up to watch the interview that the noises were all yukihiro could hear, he couldn’t even understand nor to even concentrate to the interview. Soon the huge screen plays the latest single from the band; and all of a sudden as the singer lends his voice out, all the noises shut away from yukihiro’s ears. The crowds are still talking, in fact there were some of them that are screaming; but only the singer’s mellow voice that lingers in yukihiro’s head as he sang that ballad song. Yukihiro’s eyes widened, he looks around and see everyone in the crowds was talking but everything were mute except for that singer’s voice; he shut his eyes then that’s when he realize there were aching pain beneath his chest. As yukihiro opened his eyes, he quickly turns around and makes his way escaping the crowds; his chest still feel that throbbing pain, so yukihiro start to fasten his speed and eventually pushing some of the people that was in his way.
--------------------------------------------------------
Yukihiro ready to broke into full-speed run as soon as he was out from the small-sea of people, but he then bump into someone really hard that he fall onto the ground. The first thing that yukihiro spotted as he opened his eyes was his bento already fall upside-down next to him, his hand only could reach out half way to it before he realize that will be useless effort as he lunch could considered as ruin already.
“Ahh I’m really sorry… Are you alright?” Yukihiro looked up and saw a hand was offered to his way; he accepted the offered help and stood up. The guy he bumps into was shorter than him in height, looks all worried. Then the guy bend down and reaching for something on the floor.
“I guess this is yours right?” He handed yukihiro’s mp3 while his eyes looks around. Yukihiro nods and took the mp3 then bow down his head a little in thanking gesture. It was later then that guy’s eyes went wide at the direction nearer to yukihiro’s feet.
“Oh shit! Your bento… I ruined your bento… I ‘m really sorry… Let me make up to it… I can get you another one… or I can buy you something else… I’m really sorry… Let’s find something” That guy seems like couldn’t stop the streaming words come out from his mouth due to his overwhelmed guilt, while yukihiro felt like its’ was all his owns fault. Yukihiro shook his head to that guy’s offer with a soft smile and brush away his apology with his right hand.
“No… I have to do something for you…” He grab yukihiro’s right hand and gently pulled it forward in suggestion of finding a place he could buy yukihiro a lunch.
“Now we just have to find a place that sold foods… ahh… I don’t know this place much….” That guy finally turns around to yukihiro that was silently struggling to let his hand off that guy’s tight grips. When yukihiro realize the guy is now looking at him, he stop his attempt to be free and his left hand unconsciously start gesturing in the air as an effort to tell the guy that he was fine and he could bought a new one himself at his work place.
Silence…. That smaller guy eyes widen in surprise that he slowly letting yukihiro’s hand go. Yukihiro, who have just realize that he was using his hand to ‘speak’ to a well speaking guy; finally halt half way and drop his hands at his side.
“You’re mute?”
A/N: I didn't really like my writing on this one for some reason, I been going through it thousand times but I still wasn't satisfied with it, so feel free to comment on my writing as it might help me to improve for the next one. And as for the story, I got the idea for this one about more than a month ago during my practical attachment at psychiatric hospital for two weeks. Somehow all I see in those patients are their loneliness as they waited for each day to past by slowly(painful as it sounds). So everyday during my working hours, I tends to sing "Alone in la vida" and gazed at their faces blankly. Oneday when I was with my friend joining this two patient sitting together, I talked to the patient that in front of me but she didn't respond, it was my friend who told me that she was mute and deaf. It make me think that how is it to feel that feeling... I meant its hurt enough to feel lonely then I have to be mute, were I have limitation in my communication, will I ever found anyone that would understand me or will it be someone who will understand me... so yes, I become a little emotional and carried away by it, I guess it mainly because I always felt like I'm all by myself although I'm surrounded by tons of people that I know or I learn to love... but it won't fight this loneliness away, and its really hurt(seriously hurt)... to thinks I still have all those people with me and I have what she don't have make a huge difference in our lives. So there goes my long notes that could make a story on its own nee~GOMEN~
Chapter 2