Mexican Ramen Chapter 4
Mexican Ramen
Chapter 4
Meanwhile, in another world, also known as the up stairs, Rya has amazingly almost made her way to Shinya’s room. So far as unnoted, but now noted, Mienaku has tempted Rya with everything she could think of from offering to buy her Twizzlers, to throwing a guilt trip on her on how much the poor, skinny drummer needed his rest so he could live to beat he drums another day.
“Just one peak, Miku. One little smudge of peakage from my poor sight seeing eyes can’t harm him.” She continued as she acted to struggle to pull herself along the wall.
“What are you so freaking curious about anyway? It’s not like you haven’t seen a feminine-looking male before.”
“I know.” She stopped acting and seriously turned to Mienaku. “Don’t laugh but I just wanna see his nifty shoes.”
“That’s it? Good grief, Rya. Fine.” Now almost dragging Rya to Shinya’s room, they open the door to see Shinya delicately setting up his room, placing every item in a particular position, at a particular angle.
“Gomen. Uh…Wasn’t Toshiya with you?” Mienaku asked the partly startled and wide-eyed Shinya. He simply points to the bathroom, not sure of what to make of the evasion.
Head down, with her hands on her hips she asks, “Let me guess. Trying out the front door or back door to the mermaid suit to go to the bathroom?”
“Iie. Batiub. Sweam.” He spoke in the best English he could. “Nani?!?” Jumping for a second, he looked down to see a ‘your in my bubble’ Rya squatting down to have a close inspection of his foot ware.
“Rya!” Mienaku almost shouted.
Getting up quickly she apologizes, crosses her arms over her chest, and is wearing a huge smirk on her face.
“Rya, get away from Shinya. The poor guy’s freaked out enough as is…” It is then that Mienaku notices what Rya is smirking about. Apparently while Rya was ‘inspecting’ Shinya’s shoes, she thought it would be in her range of humor to tie her shoelaces with his. Why was a question only the good ‘ol burrito that went to taco heaven, or purgatory, your choice, that Rya ate last night could answer.
About to scold Rya, several large crashes can be heard echoing around the house. Mienaku starts to head for the noise, when she realizes that Rya might follow and drag poor Shin-Shin crashing down to the floor with her. She scuttles over to them, bends down and begins to untie the laces.
“Geeze, Rya. Did you knot them?” Mienaku makes tiny hurrying noises as she struggles with the laces from hell.
“No simple bow. Ack. Move Miku.” Rya shoos Miku out of her way and begins her own struggle to untie the laces. Giving up, she sits back on her heels. “Agghh! Get it off! Get it off!”
More crashes can be heard from below, along with one scream from Takai. Water noises can be heard from the bathtub as Toshi calls to his bosom band buddy to ask if he is okay.
“Choto matte o kudasai.” Shinya calls back to him.
“Rya, work on this. If you’re not down stairs in a few minutes I’ll bring back Mana with me.” Leaving the room, she run to the elevator and two minutes finds herself in one of the bathrooms downstairs.
“Is for your good, Gackt.” Hyde holds one of the keys high about the open toilet.
“Like hell!” Gackt says the words in such a deep and low tone; one would almost take him seriously as having the bad guy from hell image if he didn’t look like a hippo in a ballerina’s outfit doing the mad pee-pee dance. By the way, the hippo part comes from him being beat red from running madly around the house. The ballerina part comes from the top his shirt that had somehow been shredded and is only still hanging on to him by being tucked into his pants.
Breaking a Mana rule, Amai appears from out of nowhere. Having broken through the threshold and now in the bathroom she stops in front of the toilet, Hyde, and Takai, who had been sandwiched between Gackt’s flailing mad mittens and Hyde’s guitar case full of Gackt’s piano keys.
Amai looks at a very surprised Takai and Hyde, then the toilet and the key dangling above. Without a second of hesitation, she kicks the key into the toilet and then high kicks the toilet, flushing it. Gackt’s jaw dropped as Hyde gave a thumbs up to Amai. “Good Job!” He annunciated with an Engrish accent.
Having completed the mission for the man she dibbed, Amai promptly vanishes as quickly as she appeared. Gackt makes a dive for the flushing toilet, but with his so-called ‘friends’ blocking the way, the key made it’s way to the greatly stuffed chimichanga in the sky, also known as the Mexican sewers.
Gackt lets out a cry of disbelief as his strawberry short cake wrapped hands light sit on the salty rim of the toilet seat.
“Wow. I defiantly wasn’t expecting to come downstairs to see piano keys being flushed down the world’s largest Margarita.” Mienaku said with a low whistle at the end.
“We were trying to recreate the ocean sense and send the keys there to break the curse on them.” Takai said trying to push Gackt away from killing Hyde.
“Okay then. Well, I guess you’ve never been outside because not twelve yards away from the back door is a cliff over the ocean.” Mienaku stated blatantly.
“Revenge!” Gackt cried as he towered over a cowering Hyde.
“But Gackt…” Hyde tried to plea, but Gackt cut him off.
“Koroshite!” Gackt quickly bent down and started untying his shoe.
“What the hell?” Naku asked, while trying to peek around and figure out what he was doing.
Meanwhile Hyde continued to try to hide himself behind the tall Takai, while only poking his head out on the sides to try to speak.
“No Gackt. They had to go!” Hyde said in between ducks.
“Seijaku!” Gackt stood looking fiercely with one shoe in his hand. Hyde’s eyes moved form the shoe to Gackt then up towards Takai.
“Aw, you couldn’t hurt her much less singe her poor little nose hairs.” Hyde grinned at Gackt, showing off his boyish smile.
Gackt crumpled his hands into a ball and then straightened his fingers. After a moment of silence and glaring at his feet, he turned hunter eyes on Hyde. Takai, then getting the hint that Gackt would attack regardless of her presence, tried to escape. However, where she moved, he moved, and when she turned around to move Hyde in front, he out-smarted her, and just remained where he was. Takai sighed in frustration, but alas it was too late. Gackt and shoe were honing in close and the last option was to grab the nearest Toshiya and to use him as a shield.
With a slight yelp Toshiya soon found himself with one badass stinky mother of a bastard smelling shoe shoved straight into his face.
Choking for air, he lost his balance; smacked Takai in the face and minutes later found Hyde squished at the bottom of a pile of fighting body parts, all trying to counter-act Gackt.
Naku, trying to help, began to tug at Gackt’s shoed foot. But the bastard of the shoe was more slippery than any greasy baby seal born on the day that the damn bowels of hell decided to relight themselves. Needless to say, Naku found herself minutes later passed out, yet waking up on the floor with three different types of socks on or around her.
Chaos soon found order when apparently Mana had entered the room, for all fights and struggles had ceased. Halting to the name of the so-called almighty magical Mana, Rya was left as the good old saint, explaining whatever it was that was the excuse for the situation, while Gackt, Hyde, Tosh and Takai found themselves all face to face in their own personal corners of the room, tongues stuck out. Naku guessed soap. But then again knowing what those tricky japs are, considering punishment for today; she guessed it to be far worse than any mild soap.
“And this mess and smell must be cleaned up before dinner. Any questions Rya?” Mana asked gloved hands once again pressed to his temples.
“Yea, actually one.” Fingers tips tapping together she nudged with her face towards the direction of a black pile of fur. “Before cleaning that up, I’d like to know what that is.”
Mana gracefully walked over to the black pile of fur. He bent down over it, his face finally puzzled. “Nmmm….anyone missing some hair?”
Gackt snickered in his corner lightly, shaking his shoulders, yet trying to hide it.
Toshiya peered at Gackt, then did a pit check, before bursting into tears from his furless pits.
“Aw, the poor by-stander got shaved?” Naku asked half in shock, half in sympathy.
Takai turned around a bit, just to face Mana. “Id’s ush-ash,” she said tongue out with Mana’s mysterious voodoo soap still remaining.
“Yeah, like we understood that,” Naku scoffed while getting up. “Mana, howsabout them ears putting to work for a translation?”
“Hyde’s mustache,” Mana clapped his hands together as if dusting them from chalk. Yes, it was Holmes gone gothic on our side, with just a pinch of nunnish femininity. Yea, with Mana on our side, we could kick Scooby-Doo’s ass any day.
Naku walked over to Hyde, who no longer looked like a greasy Mexican somehow, but now he looked like a Puerto Rican? “Hyde had a mustache before?”
Looking around Mana only raised his hands in question, but finally it was Takai who shook her head standing in the corner.
Confused, Naku looked around. About to say something, she was cut off as what sounded like someone molesting an ape that was coming from Toshiya’s corner.
Obviously still upset over the fact that someone had shaved his poor unsuspecting pit hairs, Toshiya was trying to share his pain.
Staring at him in pity, Naku said, “Aw, don’t worry Totchi, I’m sure it’ll grow back by tomorrow.” Getting out a small “Honto ni?” between sniffles he stared at Naku, hopeful.
“Honto no honto ni,” she replied turning back to Hyde and his mustache magic. “If not,” she added as an afterthought, “we can always just glue it back on.”
Continuing on her previous though, Naku leaned closer to the poor befuddled Hyde, oblivious to Takai’s snickers.
“That’s not funny,” Naku stammered, “these poor japs have been violated of all their greasy hairs.”
Turning around, she faced Mana now unaware of the prominent doom to befall her.
“Agghh,” Rya gasped, “Naku, I don’t know how to tell you this, but uh, well it looks like you have Toshiya’s under arm hair streaming out of your nose.”
“What’s wrong with my nose?” Mienaku asked in shock. Crossing her eyes as she scrunched her nose, Mienaku tried to inspect her nasal area. Not finding anything she looked back up at Rya. “I don’t understand, she cried as she wiggled her nose. Only getting laughed at, she stomped to the nearest mirror. Before she could reach said piece of shiny glass, however, Naku tripped over Toshiya’s poor unsuspecting pit hairs.
She hit the floor with should have been a thud, but was replaced with a huge crunch.
“Are you injured?” Mana asked coming in closer to lend a magical touch from his faerie-like hands.
“No,” she huffed out. “ I think,” she paused to pull something out form underneath her, ”Gackt’s underwear broke my fall?”
Standing up, Naku held said under wear between her thumb and forefinger. Tossing them towards Rya, she said, “Ry, do me a favor will ya? Sniff those and Please, PLEASE tell me they’re clean.”
Standing from her “duck” position, Rya did a dance as she pointed at Naku shouting, “ Hahaha! You missed me!”
“Well,” Naku asked, “If you didn’t catch them, then where did they land?”
Walking around behind Rya, Naku was shocked--amused-shocked? to see a slightly confused Shinya wearing Gackt’s underwear as a hat, the thong part acting as a chinstrap.
“Uh, Shinya?” She asked trying to make sure he was okay.
“Agghh!!” Rya shrieked.
“What now?!?!” Naku huffed once again.
“Gackt is fondling himself again!” she continued to shriek.
“And?” Naku asked.
“So turn the fluff around! He’s using my hand!”
“Wha?” she began.
Turning around she got a good look at Rya who was squinting her eyes and scrunching up her face as Gackt used her hand to touch himself. He was paying special attention to the nipple area.
“Rya,” she sighed, “calm down, it’s only his chest.”