it's ok it's ok it's ok
I need to be asleep. But...it will be ok, eventually.
The weekend at the beach and shopping and everything was wonderful. I did a little (a BUNCH) of splurging...but it will be OKAY! As long as my mother does NOT find out.
And so I need a memory of this, for myself. Kendall and I officially or not-so-officially gave back each others stuff last night. It was kinda werid to give it back his jacket since I've had it for the past 2 months, even if it was only hanging in my room for some of that time. I also gave him some pictures of us from our time of "us," and also a tie (green and light blue stripes) and a belt with Cherries on it. (just in case he ever DOES wear them, I thought both would like nice on him and I had been planning to give him both anyway...and I don't wear/use either...but tangent, sorry.)
He also gave me back my sweater which now smells like him...and my ring. MY RING. My ring. I'm not usually material (LIE) and stuff, but the ring is very important to me. I've been wearing it for the last (almost) four years, with the exception of when he had it. I'd never given it to anyone or let anyone borrow it before, so it was kind of a big deal for me.
He almost lost it once (I almost cried.)...but then he found it and we celebrated. I debated letting him keep the ring, seeing that I don't/didn't NEED it on my finger anymore and that seeing it on there would only remind me of him. But he forced it back to my finger, even if the heart was turned the wrong way. (haha!)
But now, I'm taking his picture down and the note he wrote me on the paper towel...because even though it makes me feel good, it makes me feel bad. And I am happy right now with the way everything has turned out.
He was a good boyfriend. And I am thankful/glad I Hhad him as part of my life/high school "career"...even for a little awhile. He's a lot more mature on somethings then I'll probably ever be. Thank you Kendall.
BUT, everything happens for a reason
nothing matters til your married
and I am HAPPY with everything right now, except college but i'll fuck it over anyway
I feel lucky right now...thank you baby.
ladsj;fadncxa;oueasd
i've lost my train of thought, well there wasnt one anyway...yeah
love always, judi
The weekend at the beach and shopping and everything was wonderful. I did a little (a BUNCH) of splurging...but it will be OKAY! As long as my mother does NOT find out.
And so I need a memory of this, for myself. Kendall and I officially or not-so-officially gave back each others stuff last night. It was kinda werid to give it back his jacket since I've had it for the past 2 months, even if it was only hanging in my room for some of that time. I also gave him some pictures of us from our time of "us," and also a tie (green and light blue stripes) and a belt with Cherries on it. (just in case he ever DOES wear them, I thought both would like nice on him and I had been planning to give him both anyway...and I don't wear/use either...but tangent, sorry.)
He also gave me back my sweater which now smells like him...and my ring. MY RING. My ring. I'm not usually material (LIE) and stuff, but the ring is very important to me. I've been wearing it for the last (almost) four years, with the exception of when he had it. I'd never given it to anyone or let anyone borrow it before, so it was kind of a big deal for me.
He almost lost it once (I almost cried.)...but then he found it and we celebrated. I debated letting him keep the ring, seeing that I don't/didn't NEED it on my finger anymore and that seeing it on there would only remind me of him. But he forced it back to my finger, even if the heart was turned the wrong way. (haha!)
But now, I'm taking his picture down and the note he wrote me on the paper towel...because even though it makes me feel good, it makes me feel bad. And I am happy right now with the way everything has turned out.
He was a good boyfriend. And I am thankful/glad I Hhad him as part of my life/high school "career"...even for a little awhile. He's a lot more mature on somethings then I'll probably ever be. Thank you Kendall.
BUT, everything happens for a reason
nothing matters til your married
and I am HAPPY with everything right now, except college but i'll fuck it over anyway
I feel lucky right now...thank you baby.
ladsj;fadncxa;oueasd
i've lost my train of thought, well there wasnt one anyway...yeah
love always, judi