Selfish Shedding of Sorrow

[mightyafrodite]

A fellow member of suicidesupport wrote this recent post in the community. It was intended as a note of encouragement to people teetering on the edge of an irrevocable decision, a way of saying "you are not alone" and "you are loved". I read the entire post, but the part that stood out to me the most is the following selection:

You never know what's going on

Comments

[kisha]

You never know what's going on with someone.

Someone can be going through so much shit, contemplating suicide, and all they'd have to do is say to you, "no, I'm okay. " and put on a smile, and you'd have no idea.

This is EXACTLY what I did after my father passed. Then I realized that if I did something to myself, I would leave my mother alone. And I could never do that to her. I still thought about it long after, I'm just glad I never went through it.

[mightyafrodite]

I'm glad you never went through with it, either!

[nati_thoughts]

What stopped me was what I and my family went through when my mother committed suicide. I didn't want to put my family through that again.

[mightyafrodite]

A classmate of mine in college had the same experience. I honestly cannot imagine it.

[new_iconoclast]

In re. the quote from the other post, we had a similar discussion about this at the dinner table last night. My 14YO daughter was speaking about her suicide awareness group at school and the signs of depression they had been discussing. My 18YO son told her that most people who are truly suicidal don't really give many warning signs, and therefore suicide awareness in high school was pointless, etc. (we live in a district that has had 5 student suicides in the past year or two). Of course, they being teenagers, this became an argument, but it did underline one thing to me - perhaps the "suicide awareness" programs our kids go through in high schools aren't as effective as they could be. They might catch some "cry for help" cases before they become not-too-serious attempts, but they're unlikely to be much good at getting to the kids who are serious about taking their own lives and who end up doing so successfully

[mightyafrodite]

Bravo to you, seriously, for discussing your own struggle with your children. I do agree with you that the programs to address suicide in young people could be improved.

Egad...when I was finished writing my reply, it was quite a lengthy response. Hell, I'm sure that I hadn't said anything you didn't already know! I decided to create a new post rather than put it all in your inbox. :)

[new_iconoclast]

Thanks - I saw the first couple of sentences of your new post and figured you may have been responding to me. There was a lot more I wanted to write here, but a) I couldn't quite find the words - you know how it always comes out better in your head, and then gets lost when you try to put it on paper? and b) I was at work. :( I look forward to reading your post, which I am going to do now. ;)

Oh - and our school district's terrifying stats: Six student suicides in about a year's time. I have a 10th grader (the above-mentioned daughter), a 7th grader (12YO son), a 5th grader (10YO daughter), and two recent graduates (sons 18 and 20), and my wife teaches at one of the district high schools. FWIW, I think some of the more vocal members of the community were much too quick to jump to the conclusion that bullying and/or anti-gay prejudice were "responsible" for any of these deaths, and the supe has been very careful and responsible in his approach to the situation. So, of course, he's taken a lot of fire.