Breaking Down the Dawn: PART ONE
Here's the first part of my thoughts essay on Breaking Dawn. I had to divide it into two parts because it was becoming really long, but I worked very very hard on it, and I think it's interesting. I don't have many negative thoughts and opinions...but I don't adore everything either. Please read it. I'll post Part Two soon!
BREAKNG DAWN COMPLETE REVIEW, PART ONE
"What do I look like to you? The Wizard of Oz? You need a brain? A heart? Go ahead. Take mine. Take everything I have."
Ah, it finally came. At midnight, we ran inside stores around the world, seized our copies from the very stressed emploies and ran home. However, I am quite sure that after, oh I don't know, twenty minutes, we found something we were not expecting. Not expecting at all.
Sure, the beginning was to be expected. Sappy, corny (just the way I like it). But slowly, the book edged farther away from the Twilight perimeter and closer to something unknown and unfamiliar. The pregnancy thing hit me hard. And, as I'm sure most of you agree with me, Book One failed. I'm not saying I think the book was an "EPIC FAIL" or anything. The book was not an epic fail. Not at all. The thing was, after book one, I had no will to go on, so I just went to bed (at 4 AM) , seething with rage, ready to post a rant the second I got home. But...it's a good thing I wasn't home. Because, as it turns out, the book was not so bad. So let's go through the book together, shall we?
Book One: The wedding, honeymoon, & the consequences, (Sounds freaky, I know)
We all expected the beginning. The wedding. Bella is nervous, her parents cry, yes yes thank you. But...we all expected dear Jacob to crash the wedding (especially us Team Edward members). But instead, SM decides to soften it up like a chocolaye mousse and Jacob comes as a favor to Edward (that's what it sounded like: "What is it?" I asked. "A surprise wedding gift"......"Thank you," Edward said into the darkness. "This is very...kind of you.") but then Jacob gets angry and we get some action that we know will not evolve into anything. (Jacob had a point in being angry though). Then they're off to the honeymoon and to the Isle Esme! Oh, I agree with Bella here...who buys someone an island? But it was so cute of Carlisle (like I said, sappy is my thing). Then comes the wedding night, and I just was not expecting something so porno (excuse me). Bella coming out naked to a naked-waiting-nervous-swimming Edward and oh, how sweet, her first time on a beach! (Is this getting wierd? Sorry...you're the one who read this book in the first place.) That's not cliche at all. Nope. But when she wakes up, Edward is pissed at himself (as always) because he hurt Bella again and why am I so callous and masochistic, heaven forbid I have sex. Bella herself says she didnt feel pain the entire time but Edward refuses to listen. Whatever. Oh, and what was up with Bella suddenly deciding to go to college? Answer: She liked having sex with Edward so much, and she didnt want to give it up because she thought she wouldnt want it when she was a new born. We all know thats definatley not true (bahhahaa). So Bella is hungry horny and hormonal. PREGGO BELLA, OBVVVV. I mean, I didnt know that would happen, even if the quote in the beginning should have told us that but we didnt even dream of it, but when she was eating and tried and had sexual needs that werent there before, i was like, oh crap SM. Great. Just great. So let me tell you, I was PISSED. I woke up and started Book Two. And was enthralled.
Book Two: Jacob's return, Edward's anguish & Rosalie's narcissim
Jacob get's the wrong idea and runs to kill all those bloodsuckers (bite me. it makes me laugh. you know i'm on team vamps, okay?) and finds out Bella's knocked up with some mutant baby (as far as we know) he gets pissed again and decides to kill Ed, and what do you know? Ed is ALL FOR IT. But only if Bella dies, which seems very likely. But Edward wants Jake to seduce Bella or whatever, which was so wierd. So wierd. But let me back pedal and say that Edward's pain broke my heart. The way he was suffering just made me want to cry or hug him or try to help him. He was in so much pain. But doesnt that leave a dillemma with Jake? I mean, if bella dies he gets to kill Edward. Does that mean he wants Bella to die? Not likely, but thats still something to keep me up at night. Okay, forward. Of course, Bella refuses to such idiocy and Jacob leaves (only to return later). Which leaves us with the little problem of Rosalie. [growls and snarls scary newborn growl and snarl]. W.T.F X5346436. She is the most, by far, self centered BITCH IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. This is something (besides book one) THAT MAKES ME FEEL EXTREMLEY ANGRY. She wants a child so bad she's willing to kill her brother and the love of this life for one? GO KIDNAP ONE IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE EVIL! She doesnt love Bella. She doesn't care for her. Bella is ignorant and niave so she doesnt see through it and no one can stop it. Rosalie has done it again...almost taken away Edward and Bella's (remember: New Moon). Oh, let me say that, as adverse I am to the idea of Jacob, he made me smile in Book One and In Book Two. Book Three? ......
Book Two: Jacob Rebels, Bella drinks up, & the baby softens up (not literally)
So we leave Bella dying while her baby bruises and kills her as Jacob phases and tells the pack of this "abomination". They decide to kill all of the cullens but Jacob says hale no and decides to become his own damn Alpha. Seth comes with and they tell the cullen's what's going on. Jacob see's Bella and (accidentley) decides that the baby needs blood and they give it to Bella and she decides it smells good and taste good, and bada bing bada boom (in the words of jacob haha) problem solved! But the baby decides to break her bones anyway. I really liked this part of the book because things were finally hitting home. Back in dog world, Leah joins up with Seth and Jake and here I am thinking that Jake and Leah are the best couple because they have sexual tension (REALLY!!!) and she was saying how she likes being with him. I seriously started shipping them. Esme tries to be nice and gives food and water and clothes to the dogs but they decide to acy like dogs and throw it in the river. Okay, Leah does. But I feel so bad for her. She can't have a normal girl's life or anything. It made that lump in my throat rise. I don't neccessarily rememeber what happens next but I do remember this sweet moment between Edward and Bella. When Edward hears the baby. I melted.
"What were you thinking about a minute ago?" he asked.
"Just...Esme's Island. And feathers."
.....
"Say something else," He whispered.
"Like what? Edward, what's going on?"
His face changed again, and he did something that made my mouth fall open with a pop. I heard a gasp behind me, adn I knew that Rosalie was back, and just as flabbergasted as I was.
Edward, very lightly, put both of his hands against her hige round stomach.
"the f--" He swallowed. "It..the baby likes the sound of your voice."
,,,,,
"He likes my voice too"
"Of course he does" Her tone was almost gloating now. "You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldnt like it?"
.....
"What?" Bella asked, her face glowing away. "What's he thinking now?"
At first he didnt answer and then--shockingall the rest of us again--he laid his ear tenderly against her belly.
"He loves you," Edward whispered, sounding dazed. "He absolutley adores you."
That was amazing. So sweet and tender. You forget about Jacob. And that's when I left Team Edward and, for just a second, became a part of Team Switz, because Jacob was all alone. By himself. Watching the girl he loved share this moment he'd wanted with her with someone he hated. And then he leaves. But my version of Team Switz is different because I'm all for E&B, but I also want Jake to be happy now. Before I couldn't care less. Oh and then Leah bitches at Bella, which proves my point that she liked Jacob.
Then Jacob gives the okay for Edward to bite her and Bella throws up blood. Now, this is where it goes from good to AWESOME AND EPIC!
Book Two: Bella pulls a Harry Potter.
So the baby is dying and Bella is dying. This is the best scene in the book so far. Rosalie tries to get it ouy of her but then ends up wanting to kill Bella, and I thought that it was going to be Rose who turned Bella. But Jacob kicks her ass and starts doing CPR while they get the baby out. It was so emotional, what with Jacob trying to give her air and Edward...being Edward. Then he injects his venom into her, which I found very interesting. How did he get the venom out? Probably pressing something to his teeth, or I guess its like our salavia? Um, ew. And also after Edward bit her, he would lick the wound and it would seal up. Where did that come from? How does that happen? Why don't you throw us a whole new different species of mythical creatures while you're at it, Steph? Then Bella "dies" and Jacob goes down to destroy the baby. And he imprints. Let me tell you how gross that was for me. I knew it right away. Because it was just so wrong. So wierd and wrong. I never even got the whole Quil and Claire thing. Whatever, it's not like there's anything about the book so far thats "normal"...In Twilight terms, that is. I really didnt feel like I was reading Twilight this entire time, though. I felt like it was something else entirely. Creepy and freaky and wierd. Kind of like naming your child Renessmee Carlie. Like Albus Severus. So Bella pulled a Harry twice: In dying and coming back and giving her child a "unique" name. But, I have to admit, I like the name just a little. It suits the kid.
BOOK THREE COMING UP IN PART TWO!
PART TWO