[Fanfic] A Beautiful Mess (Chapter Twenty Six)
Christmas is just around the corner and that means I have more free time for the next two weeks to write and finish this until holiday vacation is over. Two chapters to go! :D
By the way, I was carried away by this chapter that it reached 4000+ words. @_@ Hope you liked it!
As usual, this is unbeta-ed so do tell if you spotted any errors or mistakes. Comments, suggestions, reactions and criticisms are welcomed. Happy reading! :D
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
Jun and Yana spent the entire afternoon playing with the waves with their surf boards, the other one attempting to outdo the other. Today they learned that things can get pretty intense when they’re challenging each other, since both of them hate losing and they have they’re wearing their pride above their heads.
He shows no mercy for the birthday girl as he compete with her like his life is at risk but no one can look down to the surfer girl, she effortlessly crushes Matsumoto Jun to the ground with the way she rides that surf board like a pro, until his numbing legs and aching body voluntarily gave up in defeat, earning Izumi Yana some bragging rights until their next trip to the ocean.
“I kinda kicked your ass, am I?” Yana arrogantly said making Jun bit his lower lip in humiliation. That’s exactly the right words to describe how she practically outsmarts him in this water sport. She carefully watched every expression on his face and she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry, Jun-kun.” She said, sarcastically, that is.
“I’ll beat you next time.” Jun firmly said, although he doesn’t have an inch of confidence on that next time.
“I can’t wait.” Yana replied, still in her mocking voice. She slowly removes her wetsuit until she’s only left with the two-piece bikini underneath as Jun watched intently.
Without warning, he pulled her towards him, run a hand on her jaw and whispers, “Next time, I’ll wear you out first before we hit the water and I’ll make sure your legs don’t have enough power to ride that surf board.”
She drops her jaw as she smiled with that thought. It’s not so often that Jun talks dirty but when he does, he would totally blew her off completely without fail.
“Are you threatening me?” She decided to play along, calmly unzipping the front part of his wetsuit.
“Are you threatened?” He replied, running his hand on her torso down to her waist as he slips a finger in the string of her bikini.
She struggled to get him out of the wet clothes and when she finally does, she stroked his bare chest with her hand while electrifying him with her stare. “I care more about the fact that you’re trying to cheat with that strategy.”
He cupped her chin and leans forward, their faces are inches away from each other. “I bet you like that idea, though.” He confidently says before jumping in for a kiss while his hands settled with her lower back.
Jun pushed her inside the camping tent as he lay on top of her, his lips wandering down her neck and his hands pushing their way inside her bikini.
“Aren’t we going to eat?” He heard her say and he laughed lightly.
“That can wait.” He answered, going back up to her face and gently planting a kiss on her lips.
“But I’m freaking hungry.” She insisted and that’s when he caught a glimpse of her face, she’s playing with him again with that mischievous grin on her lips.
“That can wait.” He said again, not giving in to her request and went back to planting kisses on her face and neck.
“Are you not satisfied with what we did earlier on the shore?” Yana asked, her eyebrows are crossing each other.
Jun pulled back to look at her again. “It was amazing.” He gave a quick peck on her lips. “But I can’t resist you when you suddenly strips in front of me.” He pressed his body on hers and she can feel his hard on her crotch. “Makes me think you’re doing it purposely to lure me.”
She laughed and strokes back his wet hair. “You’re easily seduced, Matsumoto.”
Jun almost never allow others, especially girls, to address him with his last name without the honorifics but something about Yana fondly calling him that way turns him on.
“I am if it’s you who’s doing the seducing.” Jun replied huskily, gently pressing their lips together until his tongue demands to play.
His hands reached out for the strings of her bikini and slowly undid it until he finally gains access inside. He smiled after seeing her closing her eyes and moaning with his every touch.
He may have lost their surfing battle earlier but this time around, in this cramped and hot camping tent, he is the winner.
---
After their steamy make out session, they finally decided to eat. They set up a mat and the portable grill and started cooking their food.
“I never had this much shellfish in my entire life.” Yana beams happily as she stuffs an oyster in her mouth.
“You look like a poor person who didn’t get to eat for weeks.” Jun said, slowly pulling back for any retreat she may do with his comment but luckily for him, she just rolled her eyes and didn’t do any physical retaliation. “I never knew you liked shellfish.”
She looks up from her bowl of rice and smiled. “I love it but I’m allergic.”
Jun widened his eyes and she just grinned. It took him awhile before stealing her chopsticks away. “You’re allergic?” he repeated.
“Yes, but it’s okay, I can drink medicine later.” Yana is surprisingly cool with this as she took the chopsticks from him but he pulled it away. She pouted before she took an oyster with her bare hand.
“Don’t eat that!” Jun slaps her wrist. “I witnessed someone gets attacked with his allergy to seafood and it’s not pretty. He was hospitalized for days!” Contrary to Yana, Jun is panicking.
“It’s my body, Jun.” Yana told him and successfully steals the chopsticks from him.
“No seriously. Don’t eat that. Eat the meat instead.” Jun quickly went to her side, trying to stop her by holding on to her arm.
“I eat meat almost every day.” She replied. “Let’s stop at a pharmacy later on our way back Tokyo to buy antihistamine and I’ll be fine.”
Jun shakes his head. “If something happened to you-”
“Nothing will happen to me.” Yana placed her hand on his cheek to calm him down. “You prepared this, so I will eat it.”
“It doesn’t matter, what’s important to me is that you’ll be safe.” Jun said in calmer tone, his eyes are pleading her to stop eating.
“Okay, I’ll just eat the meat. Happy?” She finally gave in to his wish.
After eating, they both lay on the mat side by side as they let the lazy afternoon pass by with the sun on their faces and the waves in the background.
“Do you feel itchy anywhere?” Jun startled her. She thought he’s sleeping. “You’ve eaten a lot already before telling me that you’re allergic.”
“No.” She answered nonchalantly.
“Just tell me when you feel something, okay?” Jun said again, still worried.
“Okay.” Yana answers while glimpsing at him, his eyes were close.
She took his hand and gently tangled their fingers together, making him open his eyes in surprise but it’s her eyes that are close this time. He smiled, tightened his grip and closes his eyes again.
“So, how long do I have to wait for your next surprise?” Yana asked. “I’m preparing myself already.”
Jun laughs. “Won’t be long.”
She sighed before speaking again. “I really love this beach. It reminds me of my childhood.”
“What’s your childhood like?” Jun is curious to know.
There is a brief silence before she began to talk.
“Sad…” she softly said. “And painful.” It was on the last word that Jun quickly opens his eyes to look at her face. It was gloomy. “Do you really want to hear about it? Coz I can’t promise you that I can put it out nicely.”
“If you wanted to share it with me, I don’t care how painful and sad it is.” Jun assures her.
Yana collected herself first before beginning her story. If she’s allowing Jun in her life after this day, he should know everything about her past first.
“My mother is a daughter of a well-known industrialist here in Japan. She lived a good life. She went to good schools, she travelled a lot compared to other girls her age, she never had a problem with money. Basically, she has everything. When she reached college, she decided to go abroad and study music and her parents allow her to. She went to a renowned music school in New York and that’s when she met my father.” She stopped and she met Jun’s eyes. He signaled for her to continue.
“My father is a starting businessman during that time and he’s in New York for a business trip. My mom told me it was love at first sight.” She chuckled and Jun smiled along. “It was very lame of my mom to describe it that way.” She shakes her head in skepticism. “Anyways, one thing leads to another and a few months later, my mom found out she’s pregnant. I am a child out of wedlock... In our generation now, getting pregnant before marriage is pretty much a common thing but not in their time. My mom’s parents don’t like my father for her and they did everything in their power to get my mom out of New York to go back in Tokyo. But it’s was a crazy love, nothing can separate them. They got married and left New York to fly to LA where a relative of my father resides. They lived with them until I was born, eventually my father needs to provide a home for us.”
“It never worked?” Jun asked. “Their marriage?” he looked straight into her eyes and she nodded.
“My mom was just eighteen and my father is twenty-seven. She was still a kid and my father realizes that as time goes by. She also came from an upper-class family, she doesn’t have any idea on how to be poor and by the time I was born they were struggling with money. It was when my father decided to focus on his business in Japan so he left. My mother feared to go back here, so even if it’s hard to be away from each other they have no choice. Their daughter will starve to death if they didn’t find a way to earn money… Five years later, my father’s business in Japan failed and he had to close it down. He got an office job in Chicago and we moved there. I was shocked when I got there. We lived in an apartment building and there’s no ocean whenever I look over my bedroom window. ” she smiled with the memory.
Yana removes her hand from his grip and sits up while wrapping her arms on her knees, her gaze is far away to the ocean. “I can’t remember his face… my father.” Jun sits up too and looks at her intently. She turns to him, their eyes were drawn to each other until she smiled at him but there are tears already forming in her eyes. “I remember when I was young, I woke up from my sleep and the sun wasn’t even out yet, my father was sitting by my side, he was stroking my hair gently and when he saw that I woke up he smiled at me and told me to go back to sleep, so I did and closed my eyes, I felt him kissed my forehead many times and he hugged me so tightly… When I woke up in the morning, I found my mom crying in the kitchen with a piece of paper in her hand. I remember asking her what’s wrong and she told me that my father already left us.” And that’s when the tears started falling from her eyes. It was the first time Jun ever saw her cry.
“My mom suddenly felt like her world crumbled when my father left. For weeks, she locks herself in her room, she doesn’t eat and she doesn’t talk and what’s worst… she doesn’t care if she’s got a young daughter starving outside that room.”
Jun can see the pain in her eyes. It took her enough courage to tell this to him and he doesn’t know how he can make her feel better. He wrapped his arm around shoulder and lets her cry in his arms, hoping that it’s enough.
“For days, our neighbors would pass me around. They would give me food, they would let me sleep in their house… every day, I would ask them about my mom and they wouldn’t answer me the answer I wanted. And then one day, while playing with our neighbor’s daughter in their house, my mom suddenly appeared to get me. She talked for the first time in weeks, telling me that we are going to ride an airplane… It was a plane ride to Tokyo. I was pretty happy when we got here, I look the same as everyone.” She smiled at him.
“The first place we went to is my grandparent’s house. It’s so big that I told my mom that I wanted to live there and she told me that I am going to live there. I met my grandparents for the first time, my grandmother hugged me and kissed me over and over again but my grandfather is indifferent. He never once looked me in the eye.” Her gaze is wandering away again.
“They talked in a closed room and I was left outside the garden with some housemaid. When they finally came out my mom picked me up in her arms right away… she was crying. She repeatedly says that she’s very sorry…” She closed her eyes and another batch of tears came out. “She left me with them.” she drops her head on her knees as she sobs endlessly.
Jun’s run his hand on her back, calming her down before pulling her again to him. He hugs her tightly as she cry on his chest.
When she finally calmed down, she continued her story. “My grandparents gave me everything. I went to a good school, I get to eat three times a day, I get all the toys I wanted, I had my own nanny, my own driver and my own car… But as I grow up, I figured that I don’t need all those luxury… All I wanted was my parents… I didn’t have anyone watching me during school sports day besides my nanny and my driver. When I got old I realize how pathetic that is.”
“Your mother never contacted you during that time?” Jun asked and she nodded.
“Just like my father, she disappeared.” Yana told him and it breaks his heart even more. “I never realize what’s going on until I was ten. That’s when I started asking my grandmother about my mom and she wouldn’t answer me properly, she didn’t know I was too old for that… I started rebelling at eleven years old. I would make a scene at school, I would escape classes and roam around the city by myself and when I get tired I would ride a taxi and show him a paper where my address is written I would pay him twice as much… My grandfather despises me even more but I don’t care about him because he never cared about me from the start. The only time he would talk to me is when he’s lecturing me of my wrong doings. There was even a time when I talked back at him and I left him speechless…” she smiled beneath the tears.
“And then one day, my mom suddenly came back… I was thirteen that time. She acts as if nothing happened. She was cheerful, she was smiling at me all the time that it pissed me off and I screamed at her telling her that her once six years old daughter is now thirteen and yet she acts like she just left a day ago… I hated her. I hated her so much, I hated her more than I hated my father.”
“But you’re okay with her now, right?” Jun asked. He wondered what happen that changed her relationship with her mother.
“It was only three years ago when I finally forgave her.” Yana told him, he never had the idea that it was only that recent.
“When she came back when I was thirteen, she brought me with her. That’s when we started moving to different places. Turns out she found a job with an orchestra while she was away… I didn’t like it there in Europe, my experience is all about adjustments and changes and the fact that I detest my mom. We were fighting all the time, she would accidentally drop words I didn’t like whenever we fight… Throughout the time that I lived with her, I realized that she regretted having me…”
“I’m sure that’s not true, Yana. No mother would ever think that.”
Yana shakes her head and said, “We were fighting once and she got really angry at me and told me that if she knew I'd turn out to be like this she should have opted for abortion.”
Jun was shocked and now he thinks he hates her mother too.
“She told me that having me is the worst decision she made in her life and loving my father is stupidest thing she ever did. She told me that she sacrificed her dreams for my father and to have me but it all backfired because my father left her and I turned out to be a big disappointment.”
She wasn’t cry anymore but in her eyes, all he can see is sadness.
“That’s when I did this…” she pulled out her wrist and showed him a scar. “I tried to take my life.”
Yana didn’t know but Jun saw that scar once while she was sleeping, he didn’t tell her though because he doesn’t want to mingle with the story of her past and that scar doesn’t make him love her any less.
“My mom saw me swimming in my own blood one morning, almost lifeless. The doctors said that if only she was a minute late to find me I might have been gone… That’s when my mom began to change. She apologized for everything she did and the harsh words she said. She started treating me like a daughter but that doesn’t change my feelings towards her. She was too late to realize everything, if I didn’t try to kill myself she wouldn’t have realize her mistakes… What if I really died that day? All that’s left for her to apologize to is a dead body… I went into depression, I was in serious treatment for three years. In those three years I’m here in Japan. My mom left her job and she started working for my grandfather to finance my medication.”
“How old are you when you did this?” Jun asked.
“Fifteen.”
At fifteen, Jun is working hard for his dream but for her, at fifteen, she already lost the hope to live.
“I don’t have anything to live for, I don’t have a family, I don’t have friends, I don’t have someone special, I was losing hope… and that’s when I found music. I began writing my feelings and turn them into songs. It saved me.”
For the first time, he saw an earnest smile from her.
“When I went to college and I’m not happy with my major, I asked myself, what do I really want to do years from now? And I couldn’t see anything other than making songs. So when I was offered to do modelling I grabbed the change and took it as my stepping stone… And look where it got me.” She smiled at him.
“I found Eri and she became my first ever best friend slash my manager. I found Akanishi Jin through her and he became my other best friend slash my fake older brother and through Jin I found three other best friends… It’s because of those five special people that I forgave my mom. They found a way for us to talk and settle our disagreement… After everything that has been said and done, she is still my mother, she’s the only family I have left now… And one day I will get married and start my own family but my mom only has me… The past is the past we can never change it but we can always take hold of our future and I want to make that future right.”
Jun admired her even more after knowing everything about her past. He was amaze at how that one broken little girl turned out to be this strong and level-headed woman that he loves so much and that he will continue to shower with more love in the future.
“And just when I thought my life couldn’t get any better…” Yana took his hand and squeezed it lightly. “I suddenly met an amazing person who goes by the name of…” She grinned at him. “Jun-kun.” she smiled and he gave her a quick kiss. “Thank you for coming into my life. Now I’m even stronger with you in it.” she whispered.
Their foreheads touched each other as they separate from another kiss. “I love you, Yana.” Jun finally said it, it came out softly and he never expect it to come at this point. He was reserving it for later, when the sky is filled with stars and the moon watching them from above, along with a bottle of champagne, standing from a yacht while watching fireworks from a far. He planned it very carefully, but he guessed those three words best works when said unexpectedly.
“I love you too.” Yana whispers back. She was not scared anymore, the words came out naturally from her heart.
They were smiling at each other, a smile that is full of admiration and love, before Yana jumps at him and embraced him. They can feel their hearts throbbing with so much happiness.
“Oh. My. God.” Jun heard Yana say and she pulled away from their embrace, her eyes is caught up with something on the water. It was his final surprise.
“There is a yacht.” She stood up, her eyes are still fixed on the white yacht from a far.
“Surprised?” Jun asked, getting on his feet and taking her hand.
“Are you kidding me?” Yana finally removed her gaze from the yacht and turned to him.
“I borrowed that from a friend, he’s the one driving it and I think a bunch of them are inside.” Jun informs her with a laugh. “We’re supposed to have dinner there but I got another idea. A better one.” he told her.
“What?” Yana is confused.
“Do you trust me?” Jun asked her and she nodded. “Okay then, get your stuff and we’ll take a bath inside the yacht and change our clothes and we’ll go somewhere. I’ll just tell them that plans are changed.”
She did as he told as she runs back to the tent and collected their things while Jun run towards the yacht.
---
It was before sunset when Jun and Yana hit the road back to Tokyo. She was a bit sad when he told her about the dinner and the champagne and the fireworks but he assures her that they will do that some other time. He never told her where they are heading, saying that it is a surprise.
After driving for almost two hours, Jun stopped in front of a house. It’s a two-story home inside a residential area in Tokyo.
“We’re here.” He announced as Yana stare at the house again from the window.
“Who owns this house?” Yana asked as she comes out from the car.
And before Jun can answer, a middle aged woman opened the door and startled her. “Jun!” she greets him casually and jumps at him.
“Okaa-san.” Jun replied while stroking her back and Yana was left frozen in her spot.
By the way, I was carried away by this chapter that it reached 4000+ words. @_@ Hope you liked it!
As usual, this is unbeta-ed so do tell if you spotted any errors or mistakes. Comments, suggestions, reactions and criticisms are welcomed. Happy reading! :D
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
Jun and Yana spent the entire afternoon playing with the waves with their surf boards, the other one attempting to outdo the other. Today they learned that things can get pretty intense when they’re challenging each other, since both of them hate losing and they have they’re wearing their pride above their heads.
He shows no mercy for the birthday girl as he compete with her like his life is at risk but no one can look down to the surfer girl, she effortlessly crushes Matsumoto Jun to the ground with the way she rides that surf board like a pro, until his numbing legs and aching body voluntarily gave up in defeat, earning Izumi Yana some bragging rights until their next trip to the ocean.
“I kinda kicked your ass, am I?” Yana arrogantly said making Jun bit his lower lip in humiliation. That’s exactly the right words to describe how she practically outsmarts him in this water sport. She carefully watched every expression on his face and she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry, Jun-kun.” She said, sarcastically, that is.
“I’ll beat you next time.” Jun firmly said, although he doesn’t have an inch of confidence on that next time.
“I can’t wait.” Yana replied, still in her mocking voice. She slowly removes her wetsuit until she’s only left with the two-piece bikini underneath as Jun watched intently.
Without warning, he pulled her towards him, run a hand on her jaw and whispers, “Next time, I’ll wear you out first before we hit the water and I’ll make sure your legs don’t have enough power to ride that surf board.”
She drops her jaw as she smiled with that thought. It’s not so often that Jun talks dirty but when he does, he would totally blew her off completely without fail.
“Are you threatening me?” She decided to play along, calmly unzipping the front part of his wetsuit.
“Are you threatened?” He replied, running his hand on her torso down to her waist as he slips a finger in the string of her bikini.
She struggled to get him out of the wet clothes and when she finally does, she stroked his bare chest with her hand while electrifying him with her stare. “I care more about the fact that you’re trying to cheat with that strategy.”
He cupped her chin and leans forward, their faces are inches away from each other. “I bet you like that idea, though.” He confidently says before jumping in for a kiss while his hands settled with her lower back.
Jun pushed her inside the camping tent as he lay on top of her, his lips wandering down her neck and his hands pushing their way inside her bikini.
“Aren’t we going to eat?” He heard her say and he laughed lightly.
“That can wait.” He answered, going back up to her face and gently planting a kiss on her lips.
“But I’m freaking hungry.” She insisted and that’s when he caught a glimpse of her face, she’s playing with him again with that mischievous grin on her lips.
“That can wait.” He said again, not giving in to her request and went back to planting kisses on her face and neck.
“Are you not satisfied with what we did earlier on the shore?” Yana asked, her eyebrows are crossing each other.
Jun pulled back to look at her again. “It was amazing.” He gave a quick peck on her lips. “But I can’t resist you when you suddenly strips in front of me.” He pressed his body on hers and she can feel his hard on her crotch. “Makes me think you’re doing it purposely to lure me.”
She laughed and strokes back his wet hair. “You’re easily seduced, Matsumoto.”
Jun almost never allow others, especially girls, to address him with his last name without the honorifics but something about Yana fondly calling him that way turns him on.
“I am if it’s you who’s doing the seducing.” Jun replied huskily, gently pressing their lips together until his tongue demands to play.
His hands reached out for the strings of her bikini and slowly undid it until he finally gains access inside. He smiled after seeing her closing her eyes and moaning with his every touch.
He may have lost their surfing battle earlier but this time around, in this cramped and hot camping tent, he is the winner.
---
After their steamy make out session, they finally decided to eat. They set up a mat and the portable grill and started cooking their food.
“I never had this much shellfish in my entire life.” Yana beams happily as she stuffs an oyster in her mouth.
“You look like a poor person who didn’t get to eat for weeks.” Jun said, slowly pulling back for any retreat she may do with his comment but luckily for him, she just rolled her eyes and didn’t do any physical retaliation. “I never knew you liked shellfish.”
She looks up from her bowl of rice and smiled. “I love it but I’m allergic.”
Jun widened his eyes and she just grinned. It took him awhile before stealing her chopsticks away. “You’re allergic?” he repeated.
“Yes, but it’s okay, I can drink medicine later.” Yana is surprisingly cool with this as she took the chopsticks from him but he pulled it away. She pouted before she took an oyster with her bare hand.
“Don’t eat that!” Jun slaps her wrist. “I witnessed someone gets attacked with his allergy to seafood and it’s not pretty. He was hospitalized for days!” Contrary to Yana, Jun is panicking.
“It’s my body, Jun.” Yana told him and successfully steals the chopsticks from him.
“No seriously. Don’t eat that. Eat the meat instead.” Jun quickly went to her side, trying to stop her by holding on to her arm.
“I eat meat almost every day.” She replied. “Let’s stop at a pharmacy later on our way back Tokyo to buy antihistamine and I’ll be fine.”
Jun shakes his head. “If something happened to you-”
“Nothing will happen to me.” Yana placed her hand on his cheek to calm him down. “You prepared this, so I will eat it.”
“It doesn’t matter, what’s important to me is that you’ll be safe.” Jun said in calmer tone, his eyes are pleading her to stop eating.
“Okay, I’ll just eat the meat. Happy?” She finally gave in to his wish.
After eating, they both lay on the mat side by side as they let the lazy afternoon pass by with the sun on their faces and the waves in the background.
“Do you feel itchy anywhere?” Jun startled her. She thought he’s sleeping. “You’ve eaten a lot already before telling me that you’re allergic.”
“No.” She answered nonchalantly.
“Just tell me when you feel something, okay?” Jun said again, still worried.
“Okay.” Yana answers while glimpsing at him, his eyes were close.
She took his hand and gently tangled their fingers together, making him open his eyes in surprise but it’s her eyes that are close this time. He smiled, tightened his grip and closes his eyes again.
“So, how long do I have to wait for your next surprise?” Yana asked. “I’m preparing myself already.”
Jun laughs. “Won’t be long.”
She sighed before speaking again. “I really love this beach. It reminds me of my childhood.”
“What’s your childhood like?” Jun is curious to know.
There is a brief silence before she began to talk.
“Sad…” she softly said. “And painful.” It was on the last word that Jun quickly opens his eyes to look at her face. It was gloomy. “Do you really want to hear about it? Coz I can’t promise you that I can put it out nicely.”
“If you wanted to share it with me, I don’t care how painful and sad it is.” Jun assures her.
Yana collected herself first before beginning her story. If she’s allowing Jun in her life after this day, he should know everything about her past first.
“My mother is a daughter of a well-known industrialist here in Japan. She lived a good life. She went to good schools, she travelled a lot compared to other girls her age, she never had a problem with money. Basically, she has everything. When she reached college, she decided to go abroad and study music and her parents allow her to. She went to a renowned music school in New York and that’s when she met my father.” She stopped and she met Jun’s eyes. He signaled for her to continue.
“My father is a starting businessman during that time and he’s in New York for a business trip. My mom told me it was love at first sight.” She chuckled and Jun smiled along. “It was very lame of my mom to describe it that way.” She shakes her head in skepticism. “Anyways, one thing leads to another and a few months later, my mom found out she’s pregnant. I am a child out of wedlock... In our generation now, getting pregnant before marriage is pretty much a common thing but not in their time. My mom’s parents don’t like my father for her and they did everything in their power to get my mom out of New York to go back in Tokyo. But it’s was a crazy love, nothing can separate them. They got married and left New York to fly to LA where a relative of my father resides. They lived with them until I was born, eventually my father needs to provide a home for us.”
“It never worked?” Jun asked. “Their marriage?” he looked straight into her eyes and she nodded.
“My mom was just eighteen and my father is twenty-seven. She was still a kid and my father realizes that as time goes by. She also came from an upper-class family, she doesn’t have any idea on how to be poor and by the time I was born they were struggling with money. It was when my father decided to focus on his business in Japan so he left. My mother feared to go back here, so even if it’s hard to be away from each other they have no choice. Their daughter will starve to death if they didn’t find a way to earn money… Five years later, my father’s business in Japan failed and he had to close it down. He got an office job in Chicago and we moved there. I was shocked when I got there. We lived in an apartment building and there’s no ocean whenever I look over my bedroom window. ” she smiled with the memory.
Yana removes her hand from his grip and sits up while wrapping her arms on her knees, her gaze is far away to the ocean. “I can’t remember his face… my father.” Jun sits up too and looks at her intently. She turns to him, their eyes were drawn to each other until she smiled at him but there are tears already forming in her eyes. “I remember when I was young, I woke up from my sleep and the sun wasn’t even out yet, my father was sitting by my side, he was stroking my hair gently and when he saw that I woke up he smiled at me and told me to go back to sleep, so I did and closed my eyes, I felt him kissed my forehead many times and he hugged me so tightly… When I woke up in the morning, I found my mom crying in the kitchen with a piece of paper in her hand. I remember asking her what’s wrong and she told me that my father already left us.” And that’s when the tears started falling from her eyes. It was the first time Jun ever saw her cry.
“My mom suddenly felt like her world crumbled when my father left. For weeks, she locks herself in her room, she doesn’t eat and she doesn’t talk and what’s worst… she doesn’t care if she’s got a young daughter starving outside that room.”
Jun can see the pain in her eyes. It took her enough courage to tell this to him and he doesn’t know how he can make her feel better. He wrapped his arm around shoulder and lets her cry in his arms, hoping that it’s enough.
“For days, our neighbors would pass me around. They would give me food, they would let me sleep in their house… every day, I would ask them about my mom and they wouldn’t answer me the answer I wanted. And then one day, while playing with our neighbor’s daughter in their house, my mom suddenly appeared to get me. She talked for the first time in weeks, telling me that we are going to ride an airplane… It was a plane ride to Tokyo. I was pretty happy when we got here, I look the same as everyone.” She smiled at him.
“The first place we went to is my grandparent’s house. It’s so big that I told my mom that I wanted to live there and she told me that I am going to live there. I met my grandparents for the first time, my grandmother hugged me and kissed me over and over again but my grandfather is indifferent. He never once looked me in the eye.” Her gaze is wandering away again.
“They talked in a closed room and I was left outside the garden with some housemaid. When they finally came out my mom picked me up in her arms right away… she was crying. She repeatedly says that she’s very sorry…” She closed her eyes and another batch of tears came out. “She left me with them.” she drops her head on her knees as she sobs endlessly.
Jun’s run his hand on her back, calming her down before pulling her again to him. He hugs her tightly as she cry on his chest.
When she finally calmed down, she continued her story. “My grandparents gave me everything. I went to a good school, I get to eat three times a day, I get all the toys I wanted, I had my own nanny, my own driver and my own car… But as I grow up, I figured that I don’t need all those luxury… All I wanted was my parents… I didn’t have anyone watching me during school sports day besides my nanny and my driver. When I got old I realize how pathetic that is.”
“Your mother never contacted you during that time?” Jun asked and she nodded.
“Just like my father, she disappeared.” Yana told him and it breaks his heart even more. “I never realize what’s going on until I was ten. That’s when I started asking my grandmother about my mom and she wouldn’t answer me properly, she didn’t know I was too old for that… I started rebelling at eleven years old. I would make a scene at school, I would escape classes and roam around the city by myself and when I get tired I would ride a taxi and show him a paper where my address is written I would pay him twice as much… My grandfather despises me even more but I don’t care about him because he never cared about me from the start. The only time he would talk to me is when he’s lecturing me of my wrong doings. There was even a time when I talked back at him and I left him speechless…” she smiled beneath the tears.
“And then one day, my mom suddenly came back… I was thirteen that time. She acts as if nothing happened. She was cheerful, she was smiling at me all the time that it pissed me off and I screamed at her telling her that her once six years old daughter is now thirteen and yet she acts like she just left a day ago… I hated her. I hated her so much, I hated her more than I hated my father.”
“But you’re okay with her now, right?” Jun asked. He wondered what happen that changed her relationship with her mother.
“It was only three years ago when I finally forgave her.” Yana told him, he never had the idea that it was only that recent.
“When she came back when I was thirteen, she brought me with her. That’s when we started moving to different places. Turns out she found a job with an orchestra while she was away… I didn’t like it there in Europe, my experience is all about adjustments and changes and the fact that I detest my mom. We were fighting all the time, she would accidentally drop words I didn’t like whenever we fight… Throughout the time that I lived with her, I realized that she regretted having me…”
“I’m sure that’s not true, Yana. No mother would ever think that.”
Yana shakes her head and said, “We were fighting once and she got really angry at me and told me that if she knew I'd turn out to be like this she should have opted for abortion.”
Jun was shocked and now he thinks he hates her mother too.
“She told me that having me is the worst decision she made in her life and loving my father is stupidest thing she ever did. She told me that she sacrificed her dreams for my father and to have me but it all backfired because my father left her and I turned out to be a big disappointment.”
She wasn’t cry anymore but in her eyes, all he can see is sadness.
“That’s when I did this…” she pulled out her wrist and showed him a scar. “I tried to take my life.”
Yana didn’t know but Jun saw that scar once while she was sleeping, he didn’t tell her though because he doesn’t want to mingle with the story of her past and that scar doesn’t make him love her any less.
“My mom saw me swimming in my own blood one morning, almost lifeless. The doctors said that if only she was a minute late to find me I might have been gone… That’s when my mom began to change. She apologized for everything she did and the harsh words she said. She started treating me like a daughter but that doesn’t change my feelings towards her. She was too late to realize everything, if I didn’t try to kill myself she wouldn’t have realize her mistakes… What if I really died that day? All that’s left for her to apologize to is a dead body… I went into depression, I was in serious treatment for three years. In those three years I’m here in Japan. My mom left her job and she started working for my grandfather to finance my medication.”
“How old are you when you did this?” Jun asked.
“Fifteen.”
At fifteen, Jun is working hard for his dream but for her, at fifteen, she already lost the hope to live.
“I don’t have anything to live for, I don’t have a family, I don’t have friends, I don’t have someone special, I was losing hope… and that’s when I found music. I began writing my feelings and turn them into songs. It saved me.”
For the first time, he saw an earnest smile from her.
“When I went to college and I’m not happy with my major, I asked myself, what do I really want to do years from now? And I couldn’t see anything other than making songs. So when I was offered to do modelling I grabbed the change and took it as my stepping stone… And look where it got me.” She smiled at him.
“I found Eri and she became my first ever best friend slash my manager. I found Akanishi Jin through her and he became my other best friend slash my fake older brother and through Jin I found three other best friends… It’s because of those five special people that I forgave my mom. They found a way for us to talk and settle our disagreement… After everything that has been said and done, she is still my mother, she’s the only family I have left now… And one day I will get married and start my own family but my mom only has me… The past is the past we can never change it but we can always take hold of our future and I want to make that future right.”
Jun admired her even more after knowing everything about her past. He was amaze at how that one broken little girl turned out to be this strong and level-headed woman that he loves so much and that he will continue to shower with more love in the future.
“And just when I thought my life couldn’t get any better…” Yana took his hand and squeezed it lightly. “I suddenly met an amazing person who goes by the name of…” She grinned at him. “Jun-kun.” she smiled and he gave her a quick kiss. “Thank you for coming into my life. Now I’m even stronger with you in it.” she whispered.
Their foreheads touched each other as they separate from another kiss. “I love you, Yana.” Jun finally said it, it came out softly and he never expect it to come at this point. He was reserving it for later, when the sky is filled with stars and the moon watching them from above, along with a bottle of champagne, standing from a yacht while watching fireworks from a far. He planned it very carefully, but he guessed those three words best works when said unexpectedly.
“I love you too.” Yana whispers back. She was not scared anymore, the words came out naturally from her heart.
They were smiling at each other, a smile that is full of admiration and love, before Yana jumps at him and embraced him. They can feel their hearts throbbing with so much happiness.
“Oh. My. God.” Jun heard Yana say and she pulled away from their embrace, her eyes is caught up with something on the water. It was his final surprise.
“There is a yacht.” She stood up, her eyes are still fixed on the white yacht from a far.
“Surprised?” Jun asked, getting on his feet and taking her hand.
“Are you kidding me?” Yana finally removed her gaze from the yacht and turned to him.
“I borrowed that from a friend, he’s the one driving it and I think a bunch of them are inside.” Jun informs her with a laugh. “We’re supposed to have dinner there but I got another idea. A better one.” he told her.
“What?” Yana is confused.
“Do you trust me?” Jun asked her and she nodded. “Okay then, get your stuff and we’ll take a bath inside the yacht and change our clothes and we’ll go somewhere. I’ll just tell them that plans are changed.”
She did as he told as she runs back to the tent and collected their things while Jun run towards the yacht.
---
It was before sunset when Jun and Yana hit the road back to Tokyo. She was a bit sad when he told her about the dinner and the champagne and the fireworks but he assures her that they will do that some other time. He never told her where they are heading, saying that it is a surprise.
After driving for almost two hours, Jun stopped in front of a house. It’s a two-story home inside a residential area in Tokyo.
“We’re here.” He announced as Yana stare at the house again from the window.
“Who owns this house?” Yana asked as she comes out from the car.
And before Jun can answer, a middle aged woman opened the door and startled her. “Jun!” she greets him casually and jumps at him.
“Okaa-san.” Jun replied while stroking her back and Yana was left frozen in her spot.