I should sleep.
There's a moth fluttering around. Everyone seems to hate them but I like the buggers as long as they're not flying at my face.
These are poems from a friend of mine who shall remain nameless. I'm not trying to ship my stuff off as someone else's. I'm just up and staring out the door and it's reminding me of the images he wrote.
2am
Crickets chirp
And tendrils of smoke rise
Curling and dancing in front of the moon
As I sit
Alone
Trying to think of nothing
And almost succeeding
There remains a wish
A need
To have someone next to me
Someone to look at the moon
Someone to share my time
The one thing I have too much of
The one thing I wish I could give away
But can find no-one willing to take
Save the crickets
The moon stares at me
Cold and mocking
And I stare back, happy
Despite - or perhaps because of-
The solitude
I have nothing but time
And it becomes clear
In the near silence
And waning light
That time
Who I once loathed as my enemy
May be all I need
Smoke
smoke from a cigarette
that I am not smoking
passes in front of my face
as I look at you
you who are not mine
you
you who could be mine
the dichotomy in my head grows
as you turn away
a three way war between what I want
have
and need
continues unabated
leaving my head spinning
not from the alcohol
but from you
her
me
smoke from a cigarette
that I am not smoking
passes in front of your face
as you look at me
smile one more time
for me
the smoke becomes thicker
the smile does not vanish
a laughing cheshire image
fading in and out of the pungent vapor
promising
taunting
planting images that I didn't want
but treasure nonetheless
I berate myself again
but can find no wrong in my (in)actions
nothing has happened
but the seed is there
smoke from a cigarette
that I am not smoking
passes in front of our faces
as we look at us
for Jessica
Bitch. (added 2007)
Just Something I Saw
A night sky
Of indescribable color
Where the dark clarity
Of the deep night is lost
Behind pink clouds
And the redundant lights
Of a sleeping city
Serves as the backdrop
To a man sitting on a porch
Watching as a life not lived
Floats away in front of his face
A turmoil of nothingness in his head
Finds nothing to feed upon
No hate
No anger
No exaltation
No happiness
Only the bleak uninhabited world
Of a soul with nothing to feel
And a man left alone
In the world of his own making
The light from a single star
Breaks through the cover
Of the delicate, threatening clouds
And defies the somber lights
To fall on the face
Of a man
Watching his life
Drift away
Without care
Hi Louise.
I'm heading out to Dunkirk tomorrow. It'll be nice to have the money. And nice to see Christian. We smoked cigars in his car up at the airport and listned to Johnny Cash before he left. It was wonderful.
Interpol was terrific even if they didn't play quite what I wanted. Even though it wasn't a high-energy concert. I don't like the idea of getting used to that. Ricky is my hero for going there on my whim.
Guitar Hero 80's Edition is worth maybe $20. I hate to say it but the songs aren't fun, for the most part, and it's basically a palette-swapped GHII.
I started looking into apartments today. From all the calls I got back, we probably won't have trouble finding one in town.
Apparently my life is going to fall into place for me unless I do something about it. Which I probably won't. I'm done fighting it I guess. Not to get all weird on you. God knows I can't explain normal things well enough.
I talked to Amy recently and we got into a possible (though very unlikely) rendezvous with us two, plus a Rochester friend of hers. I'm 95% certain I'd be able to avoid making an ass of myself again.
Speaking of girls who live too far away for a realistic relationship, Julie might be visiting the state fair which would be awesome and a half. Speaking of which, I need to see which bands are playing this year.
These rambley posts are hands-down the best ones. I don't care what you say.
I downloaded some more Kompressor (website.com/mp3) and it turns out that the guy who does Toothpaste For Dinner also does Kompressor. Probably the goofiest guy on the planet. And my hero.
Anyway that's about that. Oh and I've got another license test scheduled let's hope this one goes a little better. And I'm 20 now. I don't feel much different.
Also I watched Walk The Line today and will have Johnny Cash stuck in my head forever.
These are poems from a friend of mine who shall remain nameless. I'm not trying to ship my stuff off as someone else's. I'm just up and staring out the door and it's reminding me of the images he wrote.
2am
Crickets chirp
And tendrils of smoke rise
Curling and dancing in front of the moon
As I sit
Alone
Trying to think of nothing
And almost succeeding
There remains a wish
A need
To have someone next to me
Someone to look at the moon
Someone to share my time
The one thing I have too much of
The one thing I wish I could give away
But can find no-one willing to take
Save the crickets
The moon stares at me
Cold and mocking
And I stare back, happy
Despite - or perhaps because of-
The solitude
I have nothing but time
And it becomes clear
In the near silence
And waning light
That time
Who I once loathed as my enemy
May be all I need
Smoke
smoke from a cigarette
that I am not smoking
passes in front of my face
as I look at you
you who are not mine
you
you who could be mine
the dichotomy in my head grows
as you turn away
a three way war between what I want
have
and need
continues unabated
leaving my head spinning
not from the alcohol
but from you
her
me
smoke from a cigarette
that I am not smoking
passes in front of your face
as you look at me
smile one more time
for me
the smoke becomes thicker
the smile does not vanish
a laughing cheshire image
fading in and out of the pungent vapor
promising
taunting
planting images that I didn't want
but treasure nonetheless
I berate myself again
but can find no wrong in my (in)actions
nothing has happened
but the seed is there
smoke from a cigarette
that I am not smoking
passes in front of our faces
as we look at us
for Jessica
Bitch. (added 2007)
Just Something I Saw
A night sky
Of indescribable color
Where the dark clarity
Of the deep night is lost
Behind pink clouds
And the redundant lights
Of a sleeping city
Serves as the backdrop
To a man sitting on a porch
Watching as a life not lived
Floats away in front of his face
A turmoil of nothingness in his head
Finds nothing to feed upon
No hate
No anger
No exaltation
No happiness
Only the bleak uninhabited world
Of a soul with nothing to feel
And a man left alone
In the world of his own making
The light from a single star
Breaks through the cover
Of the delicate, threatening clouds
And defies the somber lights
To fall on the face
Of a man
Watching his life
Drift away
Without care
Hi Louise.
I'm heading out to Dunkirk tomorrow. It'll be nice to have the money. And nice to see Christian. We smoked cigars in his car up at the airport and listned to Johnny Cash before he left. It was wonderful.
Interpol was terrific even if they didn't play quite what I wanted. Even though it wasn't a high-energy concert. I don't like the idea of getting used to that. Ricky is my hero for going there on my whim.
Guitar Hero 80's Edition is worth maybe $20. I hate to say it but the songs aren't fun, for the most part, and it's basically a palette-swapped GHII.
I started looking into apartments today. From all the calls I got back, we probably won't have trouble finding one in town.
Apparently my life is going to fall into place for me unless I do something about it. Which I probably won't. I'm done fighting it I guess. Not to get all weird on you. God knows I can't explain normal things well enough.
I talked to Amy recently and we got into a possible (though very unlikely) rendezvous with us two, plus a Rochester friend of hers. I'm 95% certain I'd be able to avoid making an ass of myself again.
Speaking of girls who live too far away for a realistic relationship, Julie might be visiting the state fair which would be awesome and a half. Speaking of which, I need to see which bands are playing this year.
These rambley posts are hands-down the best ones. I don't care what you say.
I downloaded some more Kompressor (website.com/mp3) and it turns out that the guy who does Toothpaste For Dinner also does Kompressor. Probably the goofiest guy on the planet. And my hero.
Anyway that's about that. Oh and I've got another license test scheduled let's hope this one goes a little better. And I'm 20 now. I don't feel much different.
Also I watched Walk The Line today and will have Johnny Cash stuck in my head forever.