Being a menacing robot from the future, Galva Ron has little use for anything besides the direct approach.
Uh, Mike? We caught up with the movie. Galva Ron is a menacing robot from last week.
Man I feel old.
Hermione's search for more information on Horcruxes turns up jack-all, as the library has "failed Hermione for the first time in living memory."
You know, they're looking for Horcruxes because they heard about 'em in Slughorn's memory, right? The memory Slughorn was so afraid of he altered it to prevent anyone from learning about it?
How do they know he didn't magically substitute the word "Horcruxes" in for what he was actually talking about, like nuclear weapons or giant snakes or Endless Shrimp Days at Red Lobster? Maybe they can't find anything about the word because it's a red herring? (Before anyone says "Well, he freaked when Harry brought up Horcruxes, so they must mean something," remember that Slughorn's only freaked because Harry's seen the memory, not that Harry has deciphered it.)
So why in the blue hell would he then need to be eating candy he found on the floor? I don't doubt that Ron would defy the Five Second Rule, but why on the one day when people would be giving him candy? In fact, come to think of it, how did the candy on the floor even make it this long without Ron gobbling it up like some red-headed magic raccoon?
I know that for Christmas, the house elves place a stack of presents on the floor at the foot of their beds. My guess is it works the same for birthdays too. If I remember right, Harry took the box of chocolate cauldrons out of his trunk when he was rooting around for the marauder's map. They probably just got too close to Ron's pile-o-swag. And what self-respecting 17 year old magic Galva racoon wouldn't ruin their breakfast with an available stash of chocolate?
You know, they're looking for Horcruxes because they heard about 'em in Slughorn's memory, right? The memory Slughorn was so afraid of he altered it to prevent anyone from learning about it?
How do they know he didn't magically substitute the word "Horcruxes" in for what he was actually talking about, like nuclear weapons or giant snakes or Endless Shrimp Days at Red Lobster?
Three reasons.
First, there was a strange fog that appeared where the memory was altered. This was predicated by Slughron saying something uncharacteristic. It'd be like if Dr. Doom tampered with his memory of shooing off trick-or-treaters. "Candy? You would dare come to the threshhold of Castle Doom and make demands of it's master? For this, Doom shall (fog fog fog) give you each a delicious treat, as Doom is a noble and kindly ruler! Now begone, while Doom's patience still remains!" Presented like this, you know no one messed with the word "candy
( ... )
Well, if he's actually DEAD, then I suppose I should give this chapter high marks. One down, as they say. Somehow I doubt I'm that lucky.
If you have that much loathing for one of the three main characters, I for one am not going to hold you to your stated intent of finishing the entire book before that new Budokai game comes out. Put it down no later than that day. Seriously. Or I may have to suggest you send your "Galva Ron" to Webworld (or, at least, someplace where they have people for whom he does something).
This Romilda Vane stunt just makes me aggravated with Slughorn for showing the students love potions and Dumbledore for allowing it, along with the Weasley twins for selling them so casually (but then again, practically everything about Fred and George annoys me). A big point was made about love potions being banned at Hogwarts in Goblet of Fire, but now that bit of continuity has been thrown out of the window (along with many others like Hermione saying that her happiness didn't depend on Ron's goal-keeping abilities, that whole thing about inter-house cooperation, Hermione starring as the frequent voice of Harry's conscience, the world not being divided into good people and Death Eaters, S.P.E.W., etc.). It's a bit like a chemistry teacher handing out the GHB recipe to a bunch of teenagers and hoping nothing bad happens. I get the impression we're supposed to feel a twinge of pity, or *something*, for Voldemort's mother, however...keep the behavior but reverse the genders, and the sympathy angle wouldn't even begin to work. Rowling
( ... )
Love potions are still banned from Hogwarts. They just need someone else than Filch to check the mail, because it's too easy to fool him by camouflaging the potion into a perfume.
Thank you, just...thank you for the anti-Whedon rant. (Well, I suppose technically it's not so much an anti-Whedon rant as an anti-mindlessly-drooling-Whedon-fan rant, but close enough for me.) Whedon permanently lost me with his infamously pretentious "I give the fans what the need, not what they want" speech. Betcha he launches into another world-class whinge-fit when Serenity (never name your movie after a feminine hygiene product, by the way; I don't care how "snappy" the dialogue is, I am not paying to watch Massengil: 2046 as a legitimate sci-fi film, either) doesn't win anything shiny beyond a few SFX awards because the producers didn't appreciate his vision. Or something.
(Well, I suppose technically it's not so much an anti-Whedon rant as an anti-mindlessly-drooling-Whedon-fan rant,
Yeah, too many of my friends like Serenity, and could kick my ass, so I have to tread lightly with this sort of thing. Which I guess is the nice thing about Harry Potter fans, because I can spew whatever vitriol I want about the books and everyone seems cool with it.
Hi Mike, I've been enjoying your HBP review. I like the books, but have to admit that JKR could use some editing.
You're also right on the nose about the rabid [i]Serenity[/i] fans who honestly thought that a movie based on a show that only ran 8 episodes would be the next Star Wars/Star Trek franchise.
I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your review.
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Uh, Mike? We caught up with the movie. Galva Ron is a menacing robot from last week.
Man I feel old.
Hermione's search for more information on Horcruxes turns up jack-all, as the library has "failed Hermione for the first time in living memory."
You know, they're looking for Horcruxes because they heard about 'em in Slughorn's memory, right? The memory Slughorn was so afraid of he altered it to prevent anyone from learning about it?
How do they know he didn't magically substitute the word "Horcruxes" in for what he was actually talking about, like nuclear weapons or giant snakes or Endless Shrimp Days at Red Lobster? Maybe they can't find anything about the word because it's a red herring? (Before anyone says "Well, he freaked when Harry brought up Horcruxes, so they must mean something," remember that Slughorn's only freaked because Harry's seen the memory, not that Harry has deciphered it.)
The class, it seems, would ( ... )
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I know that for Christmas, the house elves place a stack of presents on the floor at the foot of their beds. My guess is it works the same for birthdays too. If I remember right, Harry took the box of chocolate cauldrons out of his trunk when he was rooting around for the marauder's map. They probably just got too close to Ron's pile-o-swag. And what self-respecting 17 year old magic Galva racoon wouldn't ruin their breakfast with an available stash of chocolate?
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That, and previous books have established that Ron has a serious candy fixation and would happily binge on chocolate till he pukes.
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How do they know he didn't magically substitute the word "Horcruxes" in for what he was actually talking about, like nuclear weapons or giant snakes or Endless Shrimp Days at Red Lobster?
Three reasons.
First, there was a strange fog that appeared where the memory was altered. This was predicated by Slughron saying something uncharacteristic. It'd be like if Dr. Doom tampered with his memory of shooing off trick-or-treaters. "Candy? You would dare come to the threshhold of Castle Doom and make demands of it's master? For this, Doom shall (fog fog fog) give you each a delicious treat, as Doom is a noble and kindly ruler! Now begone, while Doom's patience still remains!" Presented like this, you know no one messed with the word "candy ( ... )
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If you have that much loathing for one of the three main characters, I for one am not going to hold you to your stated intent of finishing the entire book before that new Budokai game comes out. Put it down no later than that day. Seriously. Or I may have to suggest you send your "Galva Ron" to Webworld (or, at least, someplace where they have people for whom he does something).
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Yeah, too many of my friends like Serenity, and could kick my ass, so I have to tread lightly with this sort of thing. Which I guess is the nice thing about Harry Potter fans, because I can spew whatever vitriol I want about the books and everyone seems cool with it.
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You're also right on the nose about the rabid [i]Serenity[/i] fans who honestly thought that a movie based on a show that only ran 8 episodes would be the next Star Wars/Star Trek franchise.
I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your review.
Reply
I LOVE that book, as well as your reference to Pacman. You own me.
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