Flowin' Prose
It's late, and I think I wanna play Super Dragon Ball Z tomorrow, so let's just get this one posted.
Chapter 10: The Marauder's Map
(Original Japanese Title: "The Drawn-out Treachery of Mister Black. Harry Sneaks into a Candy Store and Doesn't Buy Anything.")
Off the heels of last chapter, Harry's still in the hospital wing, recuperating from a fifty-foot fall after seeing the Grim and encountering the dementors again. I'd explain what that means for anyone who's just joining us, but you're probably better off. His broomstick was destroyed in the incident, but Harry refuses to throw the pieces away, because of sentimental attachment. Write your own Aunt Marge joke here.
Upon returning to his schoolwork, a few things have changed. Señor Draco's stopped wearing his sling and bandages, so I guess he either got Hagrid fired or he's decided it'd take things too far if he continued feigning injury. Lupin's back at work, which allows the class to whine to him about Snape's performance as his stand in, teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. After assuring them he'll clear up the matter and that they don't have to do the huge-ass essay Snape assigned during his tenure, Hermione blurts out that she'd already finished hers. Way to go. Lupin gets the year back on track, supposedly, by covering hinypunks. Again, how are all these creatures supposed to be Dark Arts?
Following class, Lupin asks Harry to stay behind, and they talk about his recent experience with the dementors. Learning the Whomping Willow destroyed Harry's broom, Lupin tells of how they planted the damn thing back when he was a student, and some kid nearly lost an eye, instigating the rule that no one go near it. I like how Hogwarts will plant a monster tree on the property, then put the responsibility on the students not to let it murder them. Harry asks Lupin why the dementors affect him so severely in particular, and Lupin explains that dementors are foul creatures that drain people of their good feeling and happy memories, leaving them with only the worst experiences of their lives. In Harry's case, since he's suffered so much horror in his time, what with his parents getting murdered in front of him as a baby, the effects are far more pronounced, hence his fainting. As Lupin sees it, the dementors probably barged onto the field because they were hungry from not being allowed into the school for so long. So wait, what's the point of having them handle the search for Sirius Black? These things apparently don't discriminate, and an eleven year old kid would suit them just as well as an escaped prisoner. Even if they wanted Black specifically, it doesn't sound like they have any special ability to track him.
The subject then turns to defense against the dementors. Lupin remarks how incredible it is that Black should even escape the dementors, since their powers can drive most people mad in a matter of weeks, and typically drain wizards of their powers given sufficient time. Harry asks how Lupin drove off the one on the train in Chapter Five, and Lupin admits that this was easier, since there was only one. Harry asks Lupin to teach him the same trick to protect himself in case of another encounter, and Lupin agrees to show him during the second semester.
Anyway, now it's coming up on Christmastime, and since Harry's stuck in the school over the holidays, Ron and Hermione have elected to stay to keep him company. But as there's another trip to Hogmeade coming up, Harry's left behind once again. Or at least he would be except for Fred and George pulling him aside the morning of the trip to show him a way out. With a lot of usless theatrics, including finishing each other's sentences, which I consider the literary equiovalent to an ipecac, F&G present to Harry a map of the school they pilfered from Filch's filing cabinet full of stuff he'd confiscated from students over the years. It starts out as a blank parchment, but when George says the magic words "By the power of Greyskull!".... Wait, that's not it. "SHAZAM!". No, that's still not it. "Punch the keys, for God's sake!. Nope, still not it. Dammit. I should really have the book out while I do these things. Here it is: "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Hardly worth looking up, I say. Anyway, it's one of the few lines George gets to say all by himself, so we'll give him his moment. When he says it, the parchment reveals an animated map of the school, with little dots moving around the map to represent the people inside. As part of my tireless quest to make the reader suffer as much as I do, I give you the fey title of the map:
Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
are proud to present
THE MARAUDER'S MAP
My only regret is that I can't replicate the font Rowling used for this. Seriously, how does anyone refer to himself as a "purveyor of aids to magical mischeif-makers" and still respect himself in the morning? It says it all that Fred and George of all people are regarding these four numbnuts as iconic heroes of yore. I'm glad most of them are dead.
The point of all this pomp and circumstance is that the map reveals several secret passageways that lead to Hogmeade. Of the seven, Filch knows about four, one's been caved in, and the Whomping Willow is planted directly above a sixth, so F&G assume no one ever uses it. The seventh, however, leads straight to the candy store in downtown Hogsmeade, and F&G have used it repeatedly. For what, candy runs? You two idiots can go to Hogsmeade several times a year as it is. Why not just buy an assload of candy at the start of the year?
And if I can just go off on a rant here, what is the deal with candy, anyway? The lab I work at, we've got a candy thief who keeps raiding the drawers when no one's around, eating half the candy my co-workers stow in their desks. I find this pathetic, not only because someone with a job has to resort to stealing whenever he gets the munchies, but because the obvious solution to this problem is to stop keeping candy in the lab in the first place. We're not allowed to eat in there as it is, and there's a perfectly fine vending machine sitting two doors down the hall, but heaven forbid anyone go two seconds without a bag of candy to snack on while they work. I'm not saying I don't have a sweet tooth from time to time, but I prefer to eat a more substantial snack every once in a while when I'm on the clock. At most, I'll treat myself to a Snickers bar once every couple of hours will do it for me, and that's only when I have enough quarters with me to pay for that many. Little things like Life Savers are OK, but I lost interest in them because there's not much to them. That's more for people who just have to put something in their mouth to get through the day. Maybe it's a smoker thing, I don't know. At Lumos, I noticed that the symposium panels all had icewater available for anyone who wanted it, which I've seen at comic conventions a lot, but in addition they had those little five-packs of Life Savers in a bowl. It's a nice touch, but a guy like me just sort of ignores them because I can go buy a big cookie at the Starbucks in the hotel. I'm assuming our candy thief at work would just stuff half the bowl into his purple Lumos totebag and eat it during one presentation. I just don't get that sort of thing. And maybe that's why I don't get a lot of these characters, since they get to go to this town and they're only interested in these novelty candy items. Don't people play with toys in England? They should get some toys. They're fun.
Where was I? Oh, when you're done with the map, you go "Mischief managed!" and it goes blank again. This way, no one knows what you were doing. Just a bold prediction here, but Sirius Black entered the school using the secret passage that leads under the Whomping Willow. At least, it fits Rowling's technique, using the Willow to imply danger but glossing over the issue of whether the Willow's roots are actually dangerous. Of course, I already know from Book Six that Sirius helped write the map, but even if he hadn't, it wasn't much of a secret passage to begin with if seven or eight people knew about it.
So F&G leave Harry to use the map, and he briefly considers the prudence of leaving the school at all, much less sneaking out using a secret passage. But there's candy to be had, and Harry's a dumbass and all, so he uses the map and heads for Hogsmeade. After about a page and a half of Harry traversing the length of the passageway, he emerges in Honeydukes, the candy store everyone won't shut up about, and the place is so crowded with kids that no one notices him enter. Rowling spends half a page describing all the dumb candy there, and then we get to Ron and Hermione shopping for candy for Harry since he wasn't allowed to go.
HERMIONE: Ugh, no, Harry won't want one of those, they're for vampires, I expect.
RON: How about these?
HARRY: Definitely not.
HERMIONE: Harry! What are you doing here? How-- how did you--?"
HARRY: I'm Batman.
Actually, Harry just explains the map to them like a dope. Ron pules that F&G didn't give it to him, their own brother, and Hermione seriously expects Harry to turn it in to the proper authorities. Yeah, because it'd really make sense for him to use it once and then do the right thing. Hermione wonders if Sirius Black might have used the passages, but Harry stupidly assumes that Black wouldn't know about the one he used, and repeats the logic F&G used about the other six. Actually, now that I think about it, the passage that's caved in could be useful too. Black could hide out in the thing for months, since even the people who know about the passageway wouldn't think anyone would use it, and the fact that F&G said it was caved in only means it was caved in the last time they saw it. That could have been three years ago, and Black knows tricks they don't. Ron points out a sign on the door posted by the Ministry that states that the dementors are patrolling Hogmeade nightly to search for Black, so it seems unlikely that he could enter any secret passageways with them lurking about. Of course, what none of them seem to consider is that F&G only showed Harry the passageways that lead to Hogsmeade. The map probably has a myriad of other tunnels that lead from other locations. Again, even if Black had never laid eyes on the map, he still could have discovered a secret passage independently.
Hermione then suggests that Black might try to attack Harry here and now, but Ron finds that unlikely, since he'd never spot Harry in this crowd of Christmas shoppers. What was Black convicted for? Oh, right, he killed thirteen people simultaneously. Ron's an idiot and a half. Before Hermione can think of any other objections, Ron shows Harry the Acid Pops, which he says burned a hole in his tongue when he was seven. THEN WHY DO THEY SELL THEM FOR PEOPLE TO EAT? Of course, I know Dumbledore loves the things, but Dumbledore looks like hippie Santa Claus, so I don't expect a whole lot from him.
Now reunited, the nWo leave Honeydukes to take in the town. Except Harry's cold because he didn't bring his cloak. What, like you didn't know where you were going? Ron suggests they go for a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. It occurs to me that Ron proably hangs out with these two because they're less versed in the Wizarding World culture than he is, so while Ron comes off like a total feeb around everyone else, he can say things like "Tell you what, shall we go for a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks?" and seem like a real man about town. I envy him that. There's no Chemistry-Lab-Slash-1970's-Marvel-Comics town I can take people to and show off. "Say, how about we settle in with a test tube of vodka at the Defenders Bar & Grill?" I hate you, Ron.
Inside the bar, the nWo seems to be doing pretty well, until a buttload of adults enter shortly afterward. You've gotcher McGonagall, yer Flitwick, Hagrid, and then to top it off, the Minister of Magic hisself, Cornelius Fudge. You know, it's been over a year, but I still find it ridiculous that his name is "Fudge". The Outsiders immediately shove Harry under their table, and Hermione moves a Christmas tree to help conceal his presence. Rosmerta the Barmaid serves them their drinks, and Fudge asks her to join them, even though she kind of works there and all. Fudge loves the ladies...
The rest of the chapter is the nWo overhearing the adults discuss Sirius Black. No one's pleased about the dementors, but they're a necessary precaution until Black is found. Rosmerta can't believe her old classmate could have turned evil like that, which prompts Fudge to tell the other part of the story that most people don't know. It takes like five pages the way Fudge tells it, so I'll make it simple: Black was James Potter's best friend in school, the best man at his wedding, even Harry's godfather. And so when Voldemort started hunting down his family, James turned to the Fidelus Charm, which allows a person to keep an absolute secret from everyone except one person. The idea was that James would take his family into hiding, and use the charm so only Black would know their location, and thus they'd never be found unless Black chose to divulge the secret. Which he apparently did, since Voldemort murdered the Potters shortly thereafter, exposing Black as a turncoat. Determined to avenge his friend, another of James' cohorts, Peter Pettigrew, attempted to bring Black to justice by himself. But Black got the drop on him and killed twelve other people in the process. And now you know... the rest of the story. Paul Harvey... Good day?
They leave the bar and naturally Harry is left stunned speechless, and that's the end of the chapter.
I have several problems with this whole revelation. First, I think this would have made a better closer to the chapter if it were shorter. All you really need to say is that Sirius Black was Harry's father's most trusted friend, and he betrayed him to Voldemort. Quick, simple, to the point. I'm not saying backstory wouldn't be appreciated, but you save that for after the big reveal. Of course, that'd mean expanding the Hogsmeade scene across two chapters, but it'd also mean Chapter 10 would only be fifteen pages long, so I don't think it'd drag things out too much. Point is, this should be a big shocker to both Harry and the audience, yet Rowling bogs it down with a bunch of crap about Hagrid and motorcycles and whatever else. I assume a lot of this was involved to retcon Sirius into the original backstory of Voldy-cakes killing the Potters, fleeing the scene, and Hagrid finding Harry as a baby. But you've got the whole book to do that, is what I'm saying.
Second, I find this a little contrived. It's simple when all it was was Voldemort killing the Potters, Harry defeating Voldemort, and Black looking to kill Harry to avenge Voldemort. Book Six revealed that Snape was the one who identified Harry Potter as Voldemort's nemesis, and according to this, Sirius Black was the one who tipped Voldemort off to the Potters' location. I'm sure we'll learn this was all a big misunderstanding later, but ats it stands you've got like three guys responsible for James and Lilly's death. It's starting to remind me of "Brisco County, Jr." where Brisco County was seeking revenge against the men who shot his father, and all the flashbacks show like twelve guys taking turns shooting him on a train. Past a point, it gets kind of ridiculous.
Thirdly, did we really need another reason to think Sirius Black was a bad guy? Much like Snape in Book Six, Harry already has plenty of reasons to hate Black as it is. Tossing in this revelation is almost a waste of time, since Harry would have already wanted Black taken down just for working for the guy who killed his parents. Adding this on top doesn't even add anything, really.
As far as the rest of the chapter goes, Fred and George should be co-Presidents of the Super Suck Club, along with Color Me Badd. I really don't know how anyone could prefer this book to Half-Blood Prince, which was at least mostly F&G free. Until next time, muchachos.
RATING: BAD
NEXT: The Firebolt. I haven't read this one yet, so that's all I know.
Chapter 10: The Marauder's Map
(Original Japanese Title: "The Drawn-out Treachery of Mister Black. Harry Sneaks into a Candy Store and Doesn't Buy Anything.")
Off the heels of last chapter, Harry's still in the hospital wing, recuperating from a fifty-foot fall after seeing the Grim and encountering the dementors again. I'd explain what that means for anyone who's just joining us, but you're probably better off. His broomstick was destroyed in the incident, but Harry refuses to throw the pieces away, because of sentimental attachment. Write your own Aunt Marge joke here.
Upon returning to his schoolwork, a few things have changed. Señor Draco's stopped wearing his sling and bandages, so I guess he either got Hagrid fired or he's decided it'd take things too far if he continued feigning injury. Lupin's back at work, which allows the class to whine to him about Snape's performance as his stand in, teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. After assuring them he'll clear up the matter and that they don't have to do the huge-ass essay Snape assigned during his tenure, Hermione blurts out that she'd already finished hers. Way to go. Lupin gets the year back on track, supposedly, by covering hinypunks. Again, how are all these creatures supposed to be Dark Arts?
Following class, Lupin asks Harry to stay behind, and they talk about his recent experience with the dementors. Learning the Whomping Willow destroyed Harry's broom, Lupin tells of how they planted the damn thing back when he was a student, and some kid nearly lost an eye, instigating the rule that no one go near it. I like how Hogwarts will plant a monster tree on the property, then put the responsibility on the students not to let it murder them. Harry asks Lupin why the dementors affect him so severely in particular, and Lupin explains that dementors are foul creatures that drain people of their good feeling and happy memories, leaving them with only the worst experiences of their lives. In Harry's case, since he's suffered so much horror in his time, what with his parents getting murdered in front of him as a baby, the effects are far more pronounced, hence his fainting. As Lupin sees it, the dementors probably barged onto the field because they were hungry from not being allowed into the school for so long. So wait, what's the point of having them handle the search for Sirius Black? These things apparently don't discriminate, and an eleven year old kid would suit them just as well as an escaped prisoner. Even if they wanted Black specifically, it doesn't sound like they have any special ability to track him.
The subject then turns to defense against the dementors. Lupin remarks how incredible it is that Black should even escape the dementors, since their powers can drive most people mad in a matter of weeks, and typically drain wizards of their powers given sufficient time. Harry asks how Lupin drove off the one on the train in Chapter Five, and Lupin admits that this was easier, since there was only one. Harry asks Lupin to teach him the same trick to protect himself in case of another encounter, and Lupin agrees to show him during the second semester.
Anyway, now it's coming up on Christmastime, and since Harry's stuck in the school over the holidays, Ron and Hermione have elected to stay to keep him company. But as there's another trip to Hogmeade coming up, Harry's left behind once again. Or at least he would be except for Fred and George pulling him aside the morning of the trip to show him a way out. With a lot of usless theatrics, including finishing each other's sentences, which I consider the literary equiovalent to an ipecac, F&G present to Harry a map of the school they pilfered from Filch's filing cabinet full of stuff he'd confiscated from students over the years. It starts out as a blank parchment, but when George says the magic words "By the power of Greyskull!".... Wait, that's not it. "SHAZAM!". No, that's still not it. "Punch the keys, for God's sake!. Nope, still not it. Dammit. I should really have the book out while I do these things. Here it is: "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Hardly worth looking up, I say. Anyway, it's one of the few lines George gets to say all by himself, so we'll give him his moment. When he says it, the parchment reveals an animated map of the school, with little dots moving around the map to represent the people inside. As part of my tireless quest to make the reader suffer as much as I do, I give you the fey title of the map:
Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
are proud to present
THE MARAUDER'S MAP
My only regret is that I can't replicate the font Rowling used for this. Seriously, how does anyone refer to himself as a "purveyor of aids to magical mischeif-makers" and still respect himself in the morning? It says it all that Fred and George of all people are regarding these four numbnuts as iconic heroes of yore. I'm glad most of them are dead.
The point of all this pomp and circumstance is that the map reveals several secret passageways that lead to Hogmeade. Of the seven, Filch knows about four, one's been caved in, and the Whomping Willow is planted directly above a sixth, so F&G assume no one ever uses it. The seventh, however, leads straight to the candy store in downtown Hogsmeade, and F&G have used it repeatedly. For what, candy runs? You two idiots can go to Hogsmeade several times a year as it is. Why not just buy an assload of candy at the start of the year?
And if I can just go off on a rant here, what is the deal with candy, anyway? The lab I work at, we've got a candy thief who keeps raiding the drawers when no one's around, eating half the candy my co-workers stow in their desks. I find this pathetic, not only because someone with a job has to resort to stealing whenever he gets the munchies, but because the obvious solution to this problem is to stop keeping candy in the lab in the first place. We're not allowed to eat in there as it is, and there's a perfectly fine vending machine sitting two doors down the hall, but heaven forbid anyone go two seconds without a bag of candy to snack on while they work. I'm not saying I don't have a sweet tooth from time to time, but I prefer to eat a more substantial snack every once in a while when I'm on the clock. At most, I'll treat myself to a Snickers bar once every couple of hours will do it for me, and that's only when I have enough quarters with me to pay for that many. Little things like Life Savers are OK, but I lost interest in them because there's not much to them. That's more for people who just have to put something in their mouth to get through the day. Maybe it's a smoker thing, I don't know. At Lumos, I noticed that the symposium panels all had icewater available for anyone who wanted it, which I've seen at comic conventions a lot, but in addition they had those little five-packs of Life Savers in a bowl. It's a nice touch, but a guy like me just sort of ignores them because I can go buy a big cookie at the Starbucks in the hotel. I'm assuming our candy thief at work would just stuff half the bowl into his purple Lumos totebag and eat it during one presentation. I just don't get that sort of thing. And maybe that's why I don't get a lot of these characters, since they get to go to this town and they're only interested in these novelty candy items. Don't people play with toys in England? They should get some toys. They're fun.
Where was I? Oh, when you're done with the map, you go "Mischief managed!" and it goes blank again. This way, no one knows what you were doing. Just a bold prediction here, but Sirius Black entered the school using the secret passage that leads under the Whomping Willow. At least, it fits Rowling's technique, using the Willow to imply danger but glossing over the issue of whether the Willow's roots are actually dangerous. Of course, I already know from Book Six that Sirius helped write the map, but even if he hadn't, it wasn't much of a secret passage to begin with if seven or eight people knew about it.
So F&G leave Harry to use the map, and he briefly considers the prudence of leaving the school at all, much less sneaking out using a secret passage. But there's candy to be had, and Harry's a dumbass and all, so he uses the map and heads for Hogsmeade. After about a page and a half of Harry traversing the length of the passageway, he emerges in Honeydukes, the candy store everyone won't shut up about, and the place is so crowded with kids that no one notices him enter. Rowling spends half a page describing all the dumb candy there, and then we get to Ron and Hermione shopping for candy for Harry since he wasn't allowed to go.
HERMIONE: Ugh, no, Harry won't want one of those, they're for vampires, I expect.
RON: How about these?
HARRY: Definitely not.
HERMIONE: Harry! What are you doing here? How-- how did you--?"
HARRY: I'm Batman.
Actually, Harry just explains the map to them like a dope. Ron pules that F&G didn't give it to him, their own brother, and Hermione seriously expects Harry to turn it in to the proper authorities. Yeah, because it'd really make sense for him to use it once and then do the right thing. Hermione wonders if Sirius Black might have used the passages, but Harry stupidly assumes that Black wouldn't know about the one he used, and repeats the logic F&G used about the other six. Actually, now that I think about it, the passage that's caved in could be useful too. Black could hide out in the thing for months, since even the people who know about the passageway wouldn't think anyone would use it, and the fact that F&G said it was caved in only means it was caved in the last time they saw it. That could have been three years ago, and Black knows tricks they don't. Ron points out a sign on the door posted by the Ministry that states that the dementors are patrolling Hogmeade nightly to search for Black, so it seems unlikely that he could enter any secret passageways with them lurking about. Of course, what none of them seem to consider is that F&G only showed Harry the passageways that lead to Hogsmeade. The map probably has a myriad of other tunnels that lead from other locations. Again, even if Black had never laid eyes on the map, he still could have discovered a secret passage independently.
Hermione then suggests that Black might try to attack Harry here and now, but Ron finds that unlikely, since he'd never spot Harry in this crowd of Christmas shoppers. What was Black convicted for? Oh, right, he killed thirteen people simultaneously. Ron's an idiot and a half. Before Hermione can think of any other objections, Ron shows Harry the Acid Pops, which he says burned a hole in his tongue when he was seven. THEN WHY DO THEY SELL THEM FOR PEOPLE TO EAT? Of course, I know Dumbledore loves the things, but Dumbledore looks like hippie Santa Claus, so I don't expect a whole lot from him.
Now reunited, the nWo leave Honeydukes to take in the town. Except Harry's cold because he didn't bring his cloak. What, like you didn't know where you were going? Ron suggests they go for a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. It occurs to me that Ron proably hangs out with these two because they're less versed in the Wizarding World culture than he is, so while Ron comes off like a total feeb around everyone else, he can say things like "Tell you what, shall we go for a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks?" and seem like a real man about town. I envy him that. There's no Chemistry-Lab-Slash-1970's-Marvel-Comics town I can take people to and show off. "Say, how about we settle in with a test tube of vodka at the Defenders Bar & Grill?" I hate you, Ron.
Inside the bar, the nWo seems to be doing pretty well, until a buttload of adults enter shortly afterward. You've gotcher McGonagall, yer Flitwick, Hagrid, and then to top it off, the Minister of Magic hisself, Cornelius Fudge. You know, it's been over a year, but I still find it ridiculous that his name is "Fudge". The Outsiders immediately shove Harry under their table, and Hermione moves a Christmas tree to help conceal his presence. Rosmerta the Barmaid serves them their drinks, and Fudge asks her to join them, even though she kind of works there and all. Fudge loves the ladies...
The rest of the chapter is the nWo overhearing the adults discuss Sirius Black. No one's pleased about the dementors, but they're a necessary precaution until Black is found. Rosmerta can't believe her old classmate could have turned evil like that, which prompts Fudge to tell the other part of the story that most people don't know. It takes like five pages the way Fudge tells it, so I'll make it simple: Black was James Potter's best friend in school, the best man at his wedding, even Harry's godfather. And so when Voldemort started hunting down his family, James turned to the Fidelus Charm, which allows a person to keep an absolute secret from everyone except one person. The idea was that James would take his family into hiding, and use the charm so only Black would know their location, and thus they'd never be found unless Black chose to divulge the secret. Which he apparently did, since Voldemort murdered the Potters shortly thereafter, exposing Black as a turncoat. Determined to avenge his friend, another of James' cohorts, Peter Pettigrew, attempted to bring Black to justice by himself. But Black got the drop on him and killed twelve other people in the process. And now you know... the rest of the story. Paul Harvey... Good day?
They leave the bar and naturally Harry is left stunned speechless, and that's the end of the chapter.
I have several problems with this whole revelation. First, I think this would have made a better closer to the chapter if it were shorter. All you really need to say is that Sirius Black was Harry's father's most trusted friend, and he betrayed him to Voldemort. Quick, simple, to the point. I'm not saying backstory wouldn't be appreciated, but you save that for after the big reveal. Of course, that'd mean expanding the Hogsmeade scene across two chapters, but it'd also mean Chapter 10 would only be fifteen pages long, so I don't think it'd drag things out too much. Point is, this should be a big shocker to both Harry and the audience, yet Rowling bogs it down with a bunch of crap about Hagrid and motorcycles and whatever else. I assume a lot of this was involved to retcon Sirius into the original backstory of Voldy-cakes killing the Potters, fleeing the scene, and Hagrid finding Harry as a baby. But you've got the whole book to do that, is what I'm saying.
Second, I find this a little contrived. It's simple when all it was was Voldemort killing the Potters, Harry defeating Voldemort, and Black looking to kill Harry to avenge Voldemort. Book Six revealed that Snape was the one who identified Harry Potter as Voldemort's nemesis, and according to this, Sirius Black was the one who tipped Voldemort off to the Potters' location. I'm sure we'll learn this was all a big misunderstanding later, but ats it stands you've got like three guys responsible for James and Lilly's death. It's starting to remind me of "Brisco County, Jr." where Brisco County was seeking revenge against the men who shot his father, and all the flashbacks show like twelve guys taking turns shooting him on a train. Past a point, it gets kind of ridiculous.
Thirdly, did we really need another reason to think Sirius Black was a bad guy? Much like Snape in Book Six, Harry already has plenty of reasons to hate Black as it is. Tossing in this revelation is almost a waste of time, since Harry would have already wanted Black taken down just for working for the guy who killed his parents. Adding this on top doesn't even add anything, really.
As far as the rest of the chapter goes, Fred and George should be co-Presidents of the Super Suck Club, along with Color Me Badd. I really don't know how anyone could prefer this book to Half-Blood Prince, which was at least mostly F&G free. Until next time, muchachos.
RATING: BAD
NEXT: The Firebolt. I haven't read this one yet, so that's all I know.