The thing is, I don't want to resume the regular use of caffeine in any form. The trip to Starbucks was a treat and a better way to pass an otherwise boring hour.
I was shocked at how much my imagination was stimulated. I really wasn't expecting that.
I have been thinking about this all day and am wondering if my seeming lack of imagination is part of the recovery from 40+ years of heavy caffeine use. I had ascribed it to getting old and my brain was no longer working.
On a meditation group I am in someone recommended Yogic breathing exercises, but he recommends that for lots of things.
I have to see if I can try a little harder to focus on something and come up with ideas. Apparently they are in there, I just have to learn to get them flowing.
You could designate one day a fortnight coffee day, and write on that day? But I wonder if it's partly psychosomatic, and whether going to a coffee shop but drinking decaff would give you the stimulus you need: i.e. perform the ritual, but don't drink the communion wine (!).
I know that if I tried doing one coffee a fortnight, it would be come one a week, and from there one a day, and eventually one every hour.
I believe it is that I became so accustomed to massive amounts of stimulant my brain is half engaged without it. The coffee can't create ideas, only stimulate the place they come from. The ideas are obviously still in there. It seems to be a motivation problem. It is like I have no urge to do anything anymore. In the past I just had to point the mania in the right direction. I think I have to get better about making myself attend to things.
I kinda like my new personae. I just sit and watch and listen. Something I was never very good at in the past. I am taking much more in.
I am hoping it will all work out and I will return to center. It seems plausible that I was so far off center one way that I have now over-corrected and will eventually find normal.
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I was shocked at how much my imagination was stimulated. I really wasn't expecting that.
I have been thinking about this all day and am wondering if my seeming lack of imagination is part of the recovery from 40+ years of heavy caffeine use. I had ascribed it to getting old and my brain was no longer working.
On a meditation group I am in someone recommended Yogic breathing exercises, but he recommends that for lots of things.
I have to see if I can try a little harder to focus on something and come up with ideas. Apparently they are in there, I just have to learn to get them flowing.
mk
Reply
Reply
I believe it is that I became so accustomed to massive amounts of stimulant my brain is half engaged without it. The coffee can't create ideas, only stimulate the place they come from. The ideas are obviously still in there. It seems to be a motivation problem. It is like I have no urge to do anything anymore. In the past I just had to point the mania in the right direction. I think I have to get better about making myself attend to things.
I kinda like my new personae. I just sit and watch and listen. Something I was never very good at in the past. I am taking much more in.
I am hoping it will all work out and I will return to center. It seems plausible that I was so far off center one way that I have now over-corrected and will eventually find normal.
mk
Reply
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