Everybody's going to want to watch this!
Raaa! I have completed the draft sample programme schedule for my new TV channel!
This is how a typical day should shape up:
Morning Programming
==================
Starting off the days programming with light entertainment and provocative thought provoking content.
6AM-8AM Today’s test card: The chance for viewers to warm up their domestic television reception equipment as engineers perform the daily calibration routine on the critical transmission systems with national celebrities to introduce today’s static test image.
8AM-9AM Big Brother: Pot shot edition: Evicted housemates get to shoot air rifle rounds at remaining housemates through concealed holes in the walls.
Schools
======
Highly educational content to assist teachers in imbuing the required knowledge to the acutely tuned young minds of today.
9AM-10.30AM A potted history of oats: A fascinating look at this miraculous plant
10.30AM-1PM Paperclips: Nature's way of organising your desk, work and life (2.5hrs)
1PM-2PM The magical world of ......: This week Seaborgium!
Kids
====
Gentler programmes for the youngest generation! Content aimed at children 5 and under.
2PM-3PM: Berney the Algerian Dinosaur: The friendly dinosaur stomps round in his favourite neon yellow outfit and talks about the number 5, letter H, and the derivation proof of the Lebesgue-Stieltjes integral from the Riemann-Stieltjes in a general measure-theoretic framework!!!
3PM-4PM: 101 Things to Make With Scissors, Cement and Bleach: and you didn't even know there WERE 101 things that can be made from cement, bleach and scissors!
4PM-4.20PM: Nations address by Heinz Schofeld, King Of Liechtenstein
Primetime
=========
The big money programs for the large primetime audiences!
4.20PM-5PM Test cards through the Ages: A nostalgic look back at how technology advances.
5PM-7PM Dogs Falling Off Household Objects: Including this little guy: TV20 Dog
Evening
=======
Our evening schedule for the more high brow content and intellectual viewer.
7PM-11PM: Worlds Blankiest Blank Marathon: Featuring: four hours of the world’s scariest cops, the world’s loudest prisons and world’s most dangerous sex aids.
11PM-12AM: Battlecar Spectacular: Bigger cars, Faster drivers, Fewer rules! MORE BLOOD!
12AM-1AM: Peter Griffin Presents Side Boob Hour: Best of 2008
1AM-1.20AM: Nations address by Heinz Schofeld King Of Liechtenstein
Mostly inspired that dog video I posted a couple of weeks back.
This is how a typical day should shape up:
Morning Programming
==================
Starting off the days programming with light entertainment and provocative thought provoking content.
6AM-8AM Today’s test card: The chance for viewers to warm up their domestic television reception equipment as engineers perform the daily calibration routine on the critical transmission systems with national celebrities to introduce today’s static test image.
8AM-9AM Big Brother: Pot shot edition: Evicted housemates get to shoot air rifle rounds at remaining housemates through concealed holes in the walls.
Schools
======
Highly educational content to assist teachers in imbuing the required knowledge to the acutely tuned young minds of today.
9AM-10.30AM A potted history of oats: A fascinating look at this miraculous plant
10.30AM-1PM Paperclips: Nature's way of organising your desk, work and life (2.5hrs)
1PM-2PM The magical world of ......: This week Seaborgium!
Kids
====
Gentler programmes for the youngest generation! Content aimed at children 5 and under.
2PM-3PM: Berney the Algerian Dinosaur: The friendly dinosaur stomps round in his favourite neon yellow outfit and talks about the number 5, letter H, and the derivation proof of the Lebesgue-Stieltjes integral from the Riemann-Stieltjes in a general measure-theoretic framework!!!
3PM-4PM: 101 Things to Make With Scissors, Cement and Bleach: and you didn't even know there WERE 101 things that can be made from cement, bleach and scissors!
4PM-4.20PM: Nations address by Heinz Schofeld, King Of Liechtenstein
Primetime
=========
The big money programs for the large primetime audiences!
4.20PM-5PM Test cards through the Ages: A nostalgic look back at how technology advances.
5PM-7PM Dogs Falling Off Household Objects: Including this little guy: TV20 Dog
Evening
=======
Our evening schedule for the more high brow content and intellectual viewer.
7PM-11PM: Worlds Blankiest Blank Marathon: Featuring: four hours of the world’s scariest cops, the world’s loudest prisons and world’s most dangerous sex aids.
11PM-12AM: Battlecar Spectacular: Bigger cars, Faster drivers, Fewer rules! MORE BLOOD!
12AM-1AM: Peter Griffin Presents Side Boob Hour: Best of 2008
1AM-1.20AM: Nations address by Heinz Schofeld King Of Liechtenstein
Mostly inspired that dog video I posted a couple of weeks back.