Mike, please listen to me. I had no idea what went on last night until I read this post. I woke up with a killer headache and realizd I was drinking last night, but that's the thing, I was drunk. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing wen I'm drunk. I didn't do it intentionally to hurt you, and that's exactly what I did and I feel like complet shit for it. I know I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, a fuck-up, I could go on for hours. I can only imagine how horrible you must feel. If the tables were turned, i know how crushed I would be, but I know you would never do that to me, and I'm so fucking sorry for ever doing that.
I never thought for a second when you said you loved me that it was a lie, I believe it and had sie the first time you said it, and when i said it, I meant it. If I didn't mean it I never would have even thought to say it to you. I do love you Mike. I'm so sorry for ever fucking hurting you like that. You deserve so much better.
The fact that you were drunk is no excuse Garrett...You don't know how badly I wish it was though.I hate to say it, but I'm glad you feel like shit, but it can't compare to how I feel at all. You'll never know how badly it hurt to see your hands all over that girl, and your mouth plastered to hers. You'll never know unless I go out and find some random girl, bring her back to you, and just fucking make out with her right infront of you. But I would never, and could never bring myself to hurt you like that no matter how badly I'm hurt because of you.
I kept telling myself last night, that it was all just a bad dream, and I would wake up tomorrow morning, and you'd be laying next to me, like nothing ever happened. And I was wrong. This morning all I could think about was you kissing that girl...and I got to thinking maybe...maybe you just can't handle a relationship. Maybe you're confused about what you want...or maybe I'm just not enough for you...
I know drinking isn't an excuse, it never was, never will be. I was just a fucking asshole who wasn't thinking. I know how bad you feel. it hurts me to see that I did that to you and I'd give anything to change it all. That girl doesn't even ring in my mind. I don't what she looks like at all. I don't want to lose you. I know how much I hurt you and I wish i never did.
And when you said you're not good enough for me...it's the other way around. You're too good for me. I'm the one who's not god enough. I was the lucky ne and I fucked it all up. You deserve so much better than me, as much as I hate to admit it. I really dn't wanna lose you.
Stop saying you know how bad I feel, when you have no idea. No idea at all Garrett. I hope you never have to feel this way. But then again I want you to hurt as badly as I do right now. You were everything to me...
Believe me when I say that breaking up was the last thing I wanted to do, but I just didn't know what else I could have done. I love you, nothing can change that. But..maybethis is for..the best.
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I never thought for a second when you said you loved me that it was a lie, I believe it and had sie the first time you said it, and when i said it, I meant it. If I didn't mean it I never would have even thought to say it to you. I do love you Mike. I'm so sorry for ever fucking hurting you like that. You deserve so much better.
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I kept telling myself last night, that it was all just a bad dream, and I would wake up tomorrow morning, and you'd be laying next to me, like nothing ever happened. And I was wrong. This morning all I could think about was you kissing that girl...and I got to thinking maybe...maybe you just can't handle a relationship. Maybe you're confused about what you want...or maybe I'm just not enough for you...
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And when you said you're not good enough for me...it's the other way around. You're too good for me. I'm the one who's not god enough. I was the lucky ne and I fucked it all up. You deserve so much better than me, as much as I hate to admit it. I really dn't wanna lose you.
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Believe me when I say that breaking up was the last thing I wanted to do, but I just didn't know what else I could have done. I love you, nothing can change that. But..maybethis is for..the best.
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