Making an Exception 33/41
Title: Making an Exception 33/?
Pairing: Jongkey, side!2min
Rating: PG15-R
Genre: high school!au, angst, romance
Summary: Filthy. Disgusting. Unnatural. Wrong. Jonghyun had always been taught that homosexuality was nothing less than revolting. He never questioned the fact, though he never saw what exactly was so bad about it... But after he meets the subtly-rebellious and always-honest boy who prefers to be called "Key", he finds himself wondering... If it was wrong, then why did it always make him so happy? And if it was so unnatural, then why can't he make it stop?
The first thing Jonghyun did once he entered his house was head to the bathroom to shower… His sister hadn't mentioned anything, and neither had Key's mom, but he was sure that he had that tell-tale scent about him after everything that'd happened the previous night…
(Especially considering that there was still the remnants dried fluid on his hip and a layer of stale sweat on his skin…)
He discarded his duffel bag and guitar case against his bedside table and then closed and locked his bathroom door, stripping down and stepping under the spray of warm water.
As he breathed in deeply, steam relaxing his muscles, a trickle of a vague thought played in his mind and he found himself getting lightheaded.
This was really real, then.
He's mine, Jonghyun thought with a wide, irrepressible smile.
He's really mine.
His heart pounded in his chest at the thought.
The night before… It actually happened.
And dear god, was it incredible…
Jonghyun sighed as he lathered his hair in shampoo. As much as he hated to compare his relationship experiences to each other (It was unfair to both parties in his opinion. No matter what it was, he was with a person at the time for a reason, and he had to take that into account no matter how the relationship ended up…), really, it was no competition.
Jonghyun had his fair share of experiences, with plenty of different kinds of girls, the shy types and the adventurous ones alike, the ones who were new to the idea and acts and the ones who were more learned in the so-called arts than Jonghyun himself…
And still, there was no doubt in his mind that Key was the best he'd ever had.
(He figured it had something to do with the fact that he loved Kim Kibum far more than he'd loved any of the girls he'd ever been with, even if he did feel rather strongly for a few of them back in his day…)
Something in the way that Key looked at him with so much faith, so much adoration, really just shot him up to cloud nine, but at the same time, the little breathy noises that escaped the seam of his heart-shaped lips and the way his soft skin slid against Jonghyun's own brought him right back down to Earth, fully grounded and very aware of everything that'd happened…
And yet, it still made Jonghyun shake his head in amazement.
Key was a boy.
If the love that he felt for him wasn't the definition of "unconditional", then he just figured that he had a different view of the word than anyone else.
A boy is making me this happy…
This is insane.
I love it so much.
As Jonghyun finished his shower, rinsing all of the suds off his body, he stepped out and wrapped a towel securely around his waist.
Without even bothering to wipe the fog away from the mirror to look at himself, or to do anything with his hair (hell, he didn't even care to dry it…), he made it into his bedroom, feeling lighter than air.
Carelessly, he slipped on some black sweatpants and the same colored tank-top, wrapping the towel around his shoulders to catch the droplets of water that streamed down his neck from his drenched hair.
(The smile still hadn't fallen from his face.)
With a newfound pride and a baseless need to tell someone, anyone, he snatched his cell phone from his bedside table and went to the "Write New Message" screen.
To: The Frog Prince
it happened.
His message was just cryptic enough for Jonghyun not to feel embarrassed as hell sending it, while also clear enough that Minho would know exactly what he was talking about.
It was only about a minute of giddy tension later that the phone vibrated in his palm.
From: The Frog Prince
congrats, hyung.
great, wasn't it?
Jonghyun grinned. Fuck yes, it was…
He didn't send back anything other than a simple emoticon (":)"), sighing once again and then looking longingly, resentfully at his neglected school bag…
Truth be told, he had a lot of homework for that weekend…
But, on Friday afternoon when Key was laid out and willing on his bed, homework hadn't exactly been his priority.
Now, when he really had nothing better to do, he figured he shouldn't fail half of his classes if he had the option not to.
With his goofy smile morphed into an indignant scowl, he pulled his bag-since when did he bring fucking bricks to school every day?-onto his bed and scattered his work all around him on his bed.
He looked at his paper-covered mattress forlornly.
Well damn.
There goes my Sunday afternoon.
Jonghyun was knee-deep in translating an English sentence (what the hell did that even mean?!) when there was a knock at his door.
Tapping his pencil against his textbook, he called, "Yeah?"
Songdam stuck her head into the room. "Dinner, Hyun-ah,"
Jonghyun nodded and pushed his textbook off his lap, dreading leaving his room as he stood and stretched.
She shielded his door and cast a cautious look down the hall. "Um… You might want to change your shirt first,"
He grimaced, feeling dizzy from the stretching. "Why?"
"Look in the mirror, Hyun-ah," She laughed.
Begrudgingly, he turned his head to his mirror, instantly turning bright, bright red when he saw a few very apparent dark spots on the sides of his neck, courtesy of Kim Kibum.
"What are those, bug bites?" She asked sarcastically.
Jonghyun opened his mouth and promptly closed it, not having an answer for her that wasn't humiliating.
"And what about your back? Did you get mauled by a cat?" Her brow raised.
Jonghyun twisted around so he could see his back and sure enough, there were very clear red nail marks and trails visible on his shoulder blades and underneath the fabric of his shirt… Also the handiwork of Kim Kibum.
"Shut up, noona," He grumbled, feeling like he should do something to shield them from sight and then realizing that it wouldn't do any good, because she'd already seen the damage.
She laughed at him again as he trudged over to his closet to pull out a collared button-up to throw over his tank-top, buttoning it higher than he usually would and tugging the collar up securely to hide the marks on his neck.
"Better?" He asked wearily.
The older girl nodded, a sly smile on her face. "I still can't believe that you and Key really had se-"
"Shut up, noona!" He silenced her before she had a chance to finish, squeezing his eyes shut and trying unsuccessfully to keep himself from blushing a deep crimson.
She just continued to chuckle at his expense, gesturing for him to follow her to the dining room.
"Is Dad still-" His whispered question was cut short when he caught sight of his father and got his answer in the form of a glare in his direction.
"Fuck," Jonghyun cursed under his breath and dropped his head as he made it over to the table, sitting in his usual spot next to his sister and across from his mom.
He could feel his father's enraged gaze on him as he sat down, but chose to ignore it.
His fists clenched under the table.
What the fuck do you want from me, Dad?
I'm not going to apologize for being with Key this weekend.
Jonghyun didn't even see or taste the food that was sat in front of him by his mother; he mumbled a "thank you" and glanced up at her with a forced smile as she sat across from him.
The meal was silent and tense, with Jonghyun still sensing the hateful gaze burning the top of his head and disregarding it to stare sightlessly at his food.
He could tell his mother was thinking of a way to bring up conversation in break the stifling tension, but every halfhearted cough she gave only made things infinitely more awkward.
"So, Jonghyun," She finally spoke up after clearing her throat.
He winced.
Fuck.
Why can't she talk to Songdam for once?
He looked up at her in question.
"I thought you were spending the whole weekend at Minho's. What brought you home early?" She asked, trying to seem friendly but still coming off as accusing.
(After eighteen years of hearing the same tone from her, Jonghyun honestly thought that she didn't even mean it to sound that way, that it was just natural.)
The glare from his father's direction only grew sharper, and some string in Jonghyun's sanity was snipped in half.
He looked straight up at the man, belligerent beyond belief, as he clearly lied, "Minho wanted to spend the day with Taemin."
Songdam hid her smile behind her bite of food; Jonghyun's mother cleared her throat again, clearly uncomfortable with his response; his father stabbed at his food more violently.
The older man looked up at him with a look that would probably make most cower in fear.
Jonghyun, though truthfully cringing inside, just raised his brows haughtily in question.
The table may have still been awkward, but hell, Jonghyun was very pleased with himself.
"Why do you associate with Choi Minho?" His father asked angrily.
Jonghyun's temper flared. "Why wouldn't I?" He demanded.
His dad snorted bitterly, looking at him condescendingly, as if the answer was obvious.
"Minho has been my best friend for years. The fact that he's dating a boy doesn't change who he is." Jonghyun said easily, chewing on another portion. "I don't see any problem with what he's doing." He glared at his father pointedly.
Songdam coughed in a hidden warning.
Jonghyun ignored her.
"Why was Kibum there?" His father asked, visibly flinching at the mention of the other boy.
"Why wouldn't he be?" He asked, stabbing his chopsticks into his food.
This answer clearly didn't please his father.
Jonghyun didn't give a damn.
His voice grew more quietly furious. "Why were you holding hands with him at my house?"
"Skinship," Jonghyun responded nonchalantly, discounting the emphasis his dad put on the location.
"But he's gay, Son."
"Yup." He popped the "p" sound, quirking an eyebrow with an air of cockiness.
"You're spending far too much time with him." His father said sternly.
Jonghyun rolled his eyes where his father could see it.
He saw the man's grip on his chopsticks tighten until his knuckles were white. "Jonghyun, listen to me."
Jonghyun glanced up, face dry of emotion.
"You don't need to be around someone like that."
"Sure, Dad." He said sardonically, looking in Songdam's direction and seeing that she looked just as bothered as Jonghyun was.
"Kim Jonghyun. Keep it up and you're not leaving the house for a month." He threatened.
He rolled his eyes again, more inconspicuously this time.
"Minho, too." His father continued, "That boy is confused right now, and you don't need that influencing you."
"Dad…" He sighed, achingly wishing there was a way to possibly tell his dad to where he would understand:
It wasn't confusion.
It was love.
"I'm serious, Son."
"You don't need to bring Kibum anywhere near this house. You don't need to go to Minho's, either, until he's gotten it through his head that what he's doing is wro-"
"Well, I didn't go to Minho's anyway, so it doesn't even matter, does it?" Jonghyun cut him off before he could finish.
There was a tense silence all around the table.
Jonghyun could feel Songdam's gaze on his face, terrified and nervous all at once. He honestly wasn't even sure what his mom was feeling, the expression on her face unreadable.
He had no idea what he was doing; he was just talking as if there was no repercussion.
It may or may not have been the worst idea he'd ever had.
"If not Minho's," His father began, his voice a chilling forced calm, "Then where were you, Son?"
He shrugged, throat closing the main reason he didn't answer, not out of antagonism.
"Answer the question, Jonghyun."
He looked his father dead in the eye, trying to cover the fact that his heart was racing at the pit of his stomach. "Guess."
There was the nerve-wracking sound of his dad's fist hitting the table, causing all of the dishes to rattle. "Kim Jonghyun!"
He recoiled, wishing that it wasn't so obvious. "What, Dad?"
"Are you trying to tell me that you just spent two days with that fa-"
"Yeah, Dad, I am." His blood boiled as he heard the beginning of that word, the word that was the bane of his entire fucking existence nowadays.
"And where did you even begin to think that that would be okay?" His father's voice was menacing, still frighteningly unaffected.
"Why wouldn't it be?" He challenged.
"You blatantly lied to me and I hope you know there will be consequences. After dinner, bring me your laptop, and you're not allowed to leave the house other than for school for a week."
Jonghyun gritted his teeth, forcing every rage-concentrated thought he had to stay in his head and not fly into the open.
A week without leaving the house.
He fought a sly smile off his lips.
He could get around that, easy.
"Son, why you would want to stay around someone like him is beyond me."
That was it.
He dropped his utensils, the metal sticks clattering to his plate. "Dad, you don't even know him! How the hell can you even begin to judge him for-"
His dad tried to interrupt. "Son, we've been through this-"
"Yeah, Dad. You've told me a thousand times, and still I don't even know where you're coming from. Yeah, Kibum likes guys. What difference does it make?" He asked, voice growing louder with every syllable.
"The difference is that-"
He finished for him. "That somehow it's wrong to love now?"
"It is wrong, Jonghyun. It's wrong to feel that way about someone of the same sex." He reiterated for the quintillionth time in his life.
Jonghyun felt oddly satisfied, questioning his father's thoughts directly after so long holding it back, regardless of the fact that the man's bigoted opinion had yet to be swayed in the slightest. "How is it wrong to feel that way about anyone? Do you not get the point of loving someone unconditionally?"
"Son, don't try to change my mind on this-"
"So you're really saying that you'd rather someone be alone and miserable than happy with someone of the same sex?" He asked incredulously. "Okay, what if Songdam liked a girl… or what if…" He swallowed, "What if I was in love with a guy?"
Songdam looked towards their father nervously.
His father was stone-faced, though his jaw was visibly clenched. "Son, don't even joke like that."
He set his resolve, using hypothetic scenarios to gauge his reaction. "I'm not joking, Dad, I'm asking a question. What if one of us was gay? Would you want us to be alone and unhappy for all our lives?" He gestured between himself and his sister, who was looking more silently alarmed by the second.
The man simply took a pause to look Jonghyun coldly in the eye, always intimidating, making Jonghyun feel like he should shrink back into a corner.
He didn't.
"Well, Jonghyun," He started, his voice alone dropping the temperature around the table about twenty degrees as he looked Jonghyun meaningfully in the eye, "It wouldn't matter to me at that point. Because you would no longer be my children."
Jonghyun felt tears spring into his eyes that he frantically willed back down.
Wonderful.
"Thanks, Dad," Songdam said sarcastically, disappointedly, finally chiming in.
"Why would either of you-what would ever make you even begin to consider-"
"Just leave it, Dad. It's great to know how much you care about us." Songdam seemed more worked up about it than Jonghyun, who was honestly still simmering in a pit of pure disappointment.
"Songdam, don't start. You know how much I care-"
She stood up from the table, picking up her still half-covered plate. "Yeah, you care, but with conditions, huh? 'I love you as long as you…' fill in the blank. That's wonderful. How every parent should love their kids." She tapped Jonghyun on the shoulder to signal for him to stand, grabbing his plate as well.
The way that she carelessly tossed them in the sink was enough to jostle the slightly-stunned Jonghyun into reality, as the porcelain dishes threatened to shatter right there.
Songdam, still huffing and affronted, pulled Jonghyun all the way into his room, throwing herself into a cross-legged position on his bed and grabbing a pillow to press to her face as she screamed in frustration.
He just sat down next to her, quiet and disappointed more than angry. "Still think I need to tell them, noona?" He asked softly, bitterly.
"How out of line is that to say to your own son?! Where does he even get off-how does he even-this is fucking ridiculous!" She screeched.
Jonghyun simply shrugged. "I expected this from the beginning, noona. I think you're more upset than I am."
She grabbed him firmly by the shoulders and looked seriously into his eyes. "Jonghyun, what you and Key have is something amazing. Don't ever let what he says, or what anyone like him says, convince you otherwise, okay?"
He nodded, her words warming him.
"Goddamn, Dad…" She grumbled, dropping her hands and shaking her head. "And here I thought, I gave him the fucking benefit of the doubt that he might, just might, open his mind just a tiny fucking bit to try to see things from your point of view, but no!"
Jonghyun always knew that he wasn't going to understand.
Always.
Still, actually hearing it hurt worse than anything he could even imagine.
There was a knock at his door that broke through Songdam's not-so-silent rage.
His heart dropped. "Yeah?" He called, wiping his eyes of the tears that he really didn't even realize were falling.
"Jonghyun?" His mom's tempered voice was forever a relief from anything father-related, though it was truthfully only so in comparison, in reality still rather sharp and firm.
"Yeah, mom?" He asked, more exhausted than anything.
"About your friend Kibum…"
Oh god, here we go again…
"You should invite him over for dinner sometime."
This was more of a shock than anything he'd heard that entire night. His brows knitted together. "Why?"
She sighed lightly and peeked out from behind the door, most likely to the dining table where his father still sat, "Your father… He's having a very hard time accepting that anything could be… different… in this family."
He blanched.
Oh shit, does she know?
Oh shit shit shit-
"And I think that being around Kibum may help him get used to the idea."
He swallowed thickly. He was going to ask "what idea?", but his throat closed up completely and he couldn't have said a word even if his life depended on it.
"So, when is he free?"
Jonghyun swallowed again, trying to lubricate his uncomfortably-dry throat. "I-he-" He tried again, this time with some success, as he was able to croak out, "He has dance on Mondays."
"Tuesday, then?" She asked, an underlying tone of finality in her words.
"O-okay…" He nodded, slow and unsure.
The tight smile that his mom gave in return made him think that, despite everything, including the fact that his sister was in in just as much disbelief as he next to him on the bed, maybe things weren't going to end up as terribly as he feared.
A/N - aaaand so it begins.
tbh, the whole time at dinner I was just like "OMFG JONGHYUN, SHUT UP. YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET YOURSELF INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE…" that boy is being stupid and reckless, I swear.
sorry for the lack of Key in this short-ish chapter.. next chapter is like a thousand words longer and has Key in it, so.. just so you know XP
oh, and I'm probably going to write a +chap for last chapter-somewhat-transitioning-into-this-chapter that should be up by monday :)
uhmm.. what else. I'm all better now!! for those of you who told me to get well, thank you so much for your concern c': ..making me feel all special and stuff...
okay, yeah, I'll say this here, too. sequel is indeed underway. just.. don't expect it anytime soon after this one is done, 'kay? :) and don't forget that this story isn't even over yet... OTL
as always, thank you for all of the support.. you guys don't realize how much every bit of it means to me c:
aaannnddd... I'll see you soon :)
Kat
mikssi
[next]
Pairing: Jongkey, side!2min
Rating: PG15-R
Genre: high school!au, angst, romance
Summary: Filthy. Disgusting. Unnatural. Wrong. Jonghyun had always been taught that homosexuality was nothing less than revolting. He never questioned the fact, though he never saw what exactly was so bad about it... But after he meets the subtly-rebellious and always-honest boy who prefers to be called "Key", he finds himself wondering... If it was wrong, then why did it always make him so happy? And if it was so unnatural, then why can't he make it stop?
The first thing Jonghyun did once he entered his house was head to the bathroom to shower… His sister hadn't mentioned anything, and neither had Key's mom, but he was sure that he had that tell-tale scent about him after everything that'd happened the previous night…
(Especially considering that there was still the remnants dried fluid on his hip and a layer of stale sweat on his skin…)
He discarded his duffel bag and guitar case against his bedside table and then closed and locked his bathroom door, stripping down and stepping under the spray of warm water.
As he breathed in deeply, steam relaxing his muscles, a trickle of a vague thought played in his mind and he found himself getting lightheaded.
This was really real, then.
He's mine, Jonghyun thought with a wide, irrepressible smile.
He's really mine.
His heart pounded in his chest at the thought.
The night before… It actually happened.
And dear god, was it incredible…
Jonghyun sighed as he lathered his hair in shampoo. As much as he hated to compare his relationship experiences to each other (It was unfair to both parties in his opinion. No matter what it was, he was with a person at the time for a reason, and he had to take that into account no matter how the relationship ended up…), really, it was no competition.
Jonghyun had his fair share of experiences, with plenty of different kinds of girls, the shy types and the adventurous ones alike, the ones who were new to the idea and acts and the ones who were more learned in the so-called arts than Jonghyun himself…
And still, there was no doubt in his mind that Key was the best he'd ever had.
(He figured it had something to do with the fact that he loved Kim Kibum far more than he'd loved any of the girls he'd ever been with, even if he did feel rather strongly for a few of them back in his day…)
Something in the way that Key looked at him with so much faith, so much adoration, really just shot him up to cloud nine, but at the same time, the little breathy noises that escaped the seam of his heart-shaped lips and the way his soft skin slid against Jonghyun's own brought him right back down to Earth, fully grounded and very aware of everything that'd happened…
And yet, it still made Jonghyun shake his head in amazement.
Key was a boy.
If the love that he felt for him wasn't the definition of "unconditional", then he just figured that he had a different view of the word than anyone else.
A boy is making me this happy…
This is insane.
I love it so much.
As Jonghyun finished his shower, rinsing all of the suds off his body, he stepped out and wrapped a towel securely around his waist.
Without even bothering to wipe the fog away from the mirror to look at himself, or to do anything with his hair (hell, he didn't even care to dry it…), he made it into his bedroom, feeling lighter than air.
Carelessly, he slipped on some black sweatpants and the same colored tank-top, wrapping the towel around his shoulders to catch the droplets of water that streamed down his neck from his drenched hair.
(The smile still hadn't fallen from his face.)
With a newfound pride and a baseless need to tell someone, anyone, he snatched his cell phone from his bedside table and went to the "Write New Message" screen.
To: The Frog Prince
it happened.
His message was just cryptic enough for Jonghyun not to feel embarrassed as hell sending it, while also clear enough that Minho would know exactly what he was talking about.
It was only about a minute of giddy tension later that the phone vibrated in his palm.
From: The Frog Prince
congrats, hyung.
great, wasn't it?
Jonghyun grinned. Fuck yes, it was…
He didn't send back anything other than a simple emoticon (":)"), sighing once again and then looking longingly, resentfully at his neglected school bag…
Truth be told, he had a lot of homework for that weekend…
But, on Friday afternoon when Key was laid out and willing on his bed, homework hadn't exactly been his priority.
Now, when he really had nothing better to do, he figured he shouldn't fail half of his classes if he had the option not to.
With his goofy smile morphed into an indignant scowl, he pulled his bag-since when did he bring fucking bricks to school every day?-onto his bed and scattered his work all around him on his bed.
He looked at his paper-covered mattress forlornly.
Well damn.
There goes my Sunday afternoon.
Jonghyun was knee-deep in translating an English sentence (what the hell did that even mean?!) when there was a knock at his door.
Tapping his pencil against his textbook, he called, "Yeah?"
Songdam stuck her head into the room. "Dinner, Hyun-ah,"
Jonghyun nodded and pushed his textbook off his lap, dreading leaving his room as he stood and stretched.
She shielded his door and cast a cautious look down the hall. "Um… You might want to change your shirt first,"
He grimaced, feeling dizzy from the stretching. "Why?"
"Look in the mirror, Hyun-ah," She laughed.
Begrudgingly, he turned his head to his mirror, instantly turning bright, bright red when he saw a few very apparent dark spots on the sides of his neck, courtesy of Kim Kibum.
"What are those, bug bites?" She asked sarcastically.
Jonghyun opened his mouth and promptly closed it, not having an answer for her that wasn't humiliating.
"And what about your back? Did you get mauled by a cat?" Her brow raised.
Jonghyun twisted around so he could see his back and sure enough, there were very clear red nail marks and trails visible on his shoulder blades and underneath the fabric of his shirt… Also the handiwork of Kim Kibum.
"Shut up, noona," He grumbled, feeling like he should do something to shield them from sight and then realizing that it wouldn't do any good, because she'd already seen the damage.
She laughed at him again as he trudged over to his closet to pull out a collared button-up to throw over his tank-top, buttoning it higher than he usually would and tugging the collar up securely to hide the marks on his neck.
"Better?" He asked wearily.
The older girl nodded, a sly smile on her face. "I still can't believe that you and Key really had se-"
"Shut up, noona!" He silenced her before she had a chance to finish, squeezing his eyes shut and trying unsuccessfully to keep himself from blushing a deep crimson.
She just continued to chuckle at his expense, gesturing for him to follow her to the dining room.
"Is Dad still-" His whispered question was cut short when he caught sight of his father and got his answer in the form of a glare in his direction.
"Fuck," Jonghyun cursed under his breath and dropped his head as he made it over to the table, sitting in his usual spot next to his sister and across from his mom.
He could feel his father's enraged gaze on him as he sat down, but chose to ignore it.
His fists clenched under the table.
What the fuck do you want from me, Dad?
I'm not going to apologize for being with Key this weekend.
Jonghyun didn't even see or taste the food that was sat in front of him by his mother; he mumbled a "thank you" and glanced up at her with a forced smile as she sat across from him.
The meal was silent and tense, with Jonghyun still sensing the hateful gaze burning the top of his head and disregarding it to stare sightlessly at his food.
He could tell his mother was thinking of a way to bring up conversation in break the stifling tension, but every halfhearted cough she gave only made things infinitely more awkward.
"So, Jonghyun," She finally spoke up after clearing her throat.
He winced.
Fuck.
Why can't she talk to Songdam for once?
He looked up at her in question.
"I thought you were spending the whole weekend at Minho's. What brought you home early?" She asked, trying to seem friendly but still coming off as accusing.
(After eighteen years of hearing the same tone from her, Jonghyun honestly thought that she didn't even mean it to sound that way, that it was just natural.)
The glare from his father's direction only grew sharper, and some string in Jonghyun's sanity was snipped in half.
He looked straight up at the man, belligerent beyond belief, as he clearly lied, "Minho wanted to spend the day with Taemin."
Songdam hid her smile behind her bite of food; Jonghyun's mother cleared her throat again, clearly uncomfortable with his response; his father stabbed at his food more violently.
The older man looked up at him with a look that would probably make most cower in fear.
Jonghyun, though truthfully cringing inside, just raised his brows haughtily in question.
The table may have still been awkward, but hell, Jonghyun was very pleased with himself.
"Why do you associate with Choi Minho?" His father asked angrily.
Jonghyun's temper flared. "Why wouldn't I?" He demanded.
His dad snorted bitterly, looking at him condescendingly, as if the answer was obvious.
"Minho has been my best friend for years. The fact that he's dating a boy doesn't change who he is." Jonghyun said easily, chewing on another portion. "I don't see any problem with what he's doing." He glared at his father pointedly.
Songdam coughed in a hidden warning.
Jonghyun ignored her.
"Why was Kibum there?" His father asked, visibly flinching at the mention of the other boy.
"Why wouldn't he be?" He asked, stabbing his chopsticks into his food.
This answer clearly didn't please his father.
Jonghyun didn't give a damn.
His voice grew more quietly furious. "Why were you holding hands with him at my house?"
"Skinship," Jonghyun responded nonchalantly, discounting the emphasis his dad put on the location.
"But he's gay, Son."
"Yup." He popped the "p" sound, quirking an eyebrow with an air of cockiness.
"You're spending far too much time with him." His father said sternly.
Jonghyun rolled his eyes where his father could see it.
He saw the man's grip on his chopsticks tighten until his knuckles were white. "Jonghyun, listen to me."
Jonghyun glanced up, face dry of emotion.
"You don't need to be around someone like that."
"Sure, Dad." He said sardonically, looking in Songdam's direction and seeing that she looked just as bothered as Jonghyun was.
"Kim Jonghyun. Keep it up and you're not leaving the house for a month." He threatened.
He rolled his eyes again, more inconspicuously this time.
"Minho, too." His father continued, "That boy is confused right now, and you don't need that influencing you."
"Dad…" He sighed, achingly wishing there was a way to possibly tell his dad to where he would understand:
It wasn't confusion.
It was love.
"I'm serious, Son."
"You don't need to bring Kibum anywhere near this house. You don't need to go to Minho's, either, until he's gotten it through his head that what he's doing is wro-"
"Well, I didn't go to Minho's anyway, so it doesn't even matter, does it?" Jonghyun cut him off before he could finish.
There was a tense silence all around the table.
Jonghyun could feel Songdam's gaze on his face, terrified and nervous all at once. He honestly wasn't even sure what his mom was feeling, the expression on her face unreadable.
He had no idea what he was doing; he was just talking as if there was no repercussion.
It may or may not have been the worst idea he'd ever had.
"If not Minho's," His father began, his voice a chilling forced calm, "Then where were you, Son?"
He shrugged, throat closing the main reason he didn't answer, not out of antagonism.
"Answer the question, Jonghyun."
He looked his father dead in the eye, trying to cover the fact that his heart was racing at the pit of his stomach. "Guess."
There was the nerve-wracking sound of his dad's fist hitting the table, causing all of the dishes to rattle. "Kim Jonghyun!"
He recoiled, wishing that it wasn't so obvious. "What, Dad?"
"Are you trying to tell me that you just spent two days with that fa-"
"Yeah, Dad, I am." His blood boiled as he heard the beginning of that word, the word that was the bane of his entire fucking existence nowadays.
"And where did you even begin to think that that would be okay?" His father's voice was menacing, still frighteningly unaffected.
"Why wouldn't it be?" He challenged.
"You blatantly lied to me and I hope you know there will be consequences. After dinner, bring me your laptop, and you're not allowed to leave the house other than for school for a week."
Jonghyun gritted his teeth, forcing every rage-concentrated thought he had to stay in his head and not fly into the open.
A week without leaving the house.
He fought a sly smile off his lips.
He could get around that, easy.
"Son, why you would want to stay around someone like him is beyond me."
That was it.
He dropped his utensils, the metal sticks clattering to his plate. "Dad, you don't even know him! How the hell can you even begin to judge him for-"
His dad tried to interrupt. "Son, we've been through this-"
"Yeah, Dad. You've told me a thousand times, and still I don't even know where you're coming from. Yeah, Kibum likes guys. What difference does it make?" He asked, voice growing louder with every syllable.
"The difference is that-"
He finished for him. "That somehow it's wrong to love now?"
"It is wrong, Jonghyun. It's wrong to feel that way about someone of the same sex." He reiterated for the quintillionth time in his life.
Jonghyun felt oddly satisfied, questioning his father's thoughts directly after so long holding it back, regardless of the fact that the man's bigoted opinion had yet to be swayed in the slightest. "How is it wrong to feel that way about anyone? Do you not get the point of loving someone unconditionally?"
"Son, don't try to change my mind on this-"
"So you're really saying that you'd rather someone be alone and miserable than happy with someone of the same sex?" He asked incredulously. "Okay, what if Songdam liked a girl… or what if…" He swallowed, "What if I was in love with a guy?"
Songdam looked towards their father nervously.
His father was stone-faced, though his jaw was visibly clenched. "Son, don't even joke like that."
He set his resolve, using hypothetic scenarios to gauge his reaction. "I'm not joking, Dad, I'm asking a question. What if one of us was gay? Would you want us to be alone and unhappy for all our lives?" He gestured between himself and his sister, who was looking more silently alarmed by the second.
The man simply took a pause to look Jonghyun coldly in the eye, always intimidating, making Jonghyun feel like he should shrink back into a corner.
He didn't.
"Well, Jonghyun," He started, his voice alone dropping the temperature around the table about twenty degrees as he looked Jonghyun meaningfully in the eye, "It wouldn't matter to me at that point. Because you would no longer be my children."
Jonghyun felt tears spring into his eyes that he frantically willed back down.
Wonderful.
"Thanks, Dad," Songdam said sarcastically, disappointedly, finally chiming in.
"Why would either of you-what would ever make you even begin to consider-"
"Just leave it, Dad. It's great to know how much you care about us." Songdam seemed more worked up about it than Jonghyun, who was honestly still simmering in a pit of pure disappointment.
"Songdam, don't start. You know how much I care-"
She stood up from the table, picking up her still half-covered plate. "Yeah, you care, but with conditions, huh? 'I love you as long as you…' fill in the blank. That's wonderful. How every parent should love their kids." She tapped Jonghyun on the shoulder to signal for him to stand, grabbing his plate as well.
The way that she carelessly tossed them in the sink was enough to jostle the slightly-stunned Jonghyun into reality, as the porcelain dishes threatened to shatter right there.
Songdam, still huffing and affronted, pulled Jonghyun all the way into his room, throwing herself into a cross-legged position on his bed and grabbing a pillow to press to her face as she screamed in frustration.
He just sat down next to her, quiet and disappointed more than angry. "Still think I need to tell them, noona?" He asked softly, bitterly.
"How out of line is that to say to your own son?! Where does he even get off-how does he even-this is fucking ridiculous!" She screeched.
Jonghyun simply shrugged. "I expected this from the beginning, noona. I think you're more upset than I am."
She grabbed him firmly by the shoulders and looked seriously into his eyes. "Jonghyun, what you and Key have is something amazing. Don't ever let what he says, or what anyone like him says, convince you otherwise, okay?"
He nodded, her words warming him.
"Goddamn, Dad…" She grumbled, dropping her hands and shaking her head. "And here I thought, I gave him the fucking benefit of the doubt that he might, just might, open his mind just a tiny fucking bit to try to see things from your point of view, but no!"
Jonghyun always knew that he wasn't going to understand.
Always.
Still, actually hearing it hurt worse than anything he could even imagine.
There was a knock at his door that broke through Songdam's not-so-silent rage.
His heart dropped. "Yeah?" He called, wiping his eyes of the tears that he really didn't even realize were falling.
"Jonghyun?" His mom's tempered voice was forever a relief from anything father-related, though it was truthfully only so in comparison, in reality still rather sharp and firm.
"Yeah, mom?" He asked, more exhausted than anything.
"About your friend Kibum…"
Oh god, here we go again…
"You should invite him over for dinner sometime."
This was more of a shock than anything he'd heard that entire night. His brows knitted together. "Why?"
She sighed lightly and peeked out from behind the door, most likely to the dining table where his father still sat, "Your father… He's having a very hard time accepting that anything could be… different… in this family."
He blanched.
Oh shit, does she know?
Oh shit shit shit-
"And I think that being around Kibum may help him get used to the idea."
He swallowed thickly. He was going to ask "what idea?", but his throat closed up completely and he couldn't have said a word even if his life depended on it.
"So, when is he free?"
Jonghyun swallowed again, trying to lubricate his uncomfortably-dry throat. "I-he-" He tried again, this time with some success, as he was able to croak out, "He has dance on Mondays."
"Tuesday, then?" She asked, an underlying tone of finality in her words.
"O-okay…" He nodded, slow and unsure.
The tight smile that his mom gave in return made him think that, despite everything, including the fact that his sister was in in just as much disbelief as he next to him on the bed, maybe things weren't going to end up as terribly as he feared.
A/N - aaaand so it begins.
tbh, the whole time at dinner I was just like "OMFG JONGHYUN, SHUT UP. YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET YOURSELF INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE…" that boy is being stupid and reckless, I swear.
sorry for the lack of Key in this short-ish chapter.. next chapter is like a thousand words longer and has Key in it, so.. just so you know XP
oh, and I'm probably going to write a +chap for last chapter-somewhat-transitioning-into-this-chapter that should be up by monday :)
uhmm.. what else. I'm all better now!! for those of you who told me to get well, thank you so much for your concern c': ..making me feel all special and stuff...
okay, yeah, I'll say this here, too. sequel is indeed underway. just.. don't expect it anytime soon after this one is done, 'kay? :) and don't forget that this story isn't even over yet... OTL
as always, thank you for all of the support.. you guys don't realize how much every bit of it means to me c:
aaannnddd... I'll see you soon :)
Kat
mikssi
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