Making an Exception 34/41
Title: Making an Exception 34/?
Pairing: Jongkey, side!2min
Rating: PG15-R
Genre: high school!au, angst, romance
Summary: Filthy. Disgusting. Unnatural. Wrong. Jonghyun had always been taught that homosexuality was nothing less than revolting. He never questioned the fact, though he never saw what exactly was so bad about it... But after he meets the subtly-rebellious and always-honest boy who prefers to be called "Key", he finds himself wondering... If it was wrong, then why did it always make him so happy? And if it was so unnatural, then why can't he make it stop?
Jonghyun didn't let go of Key's hand when they turned onto his street and came upon his house, unwilling to hold back any more than absolutely necessary when it came to showing his affection to his (wonderful, gorgeous, amazing) boyfriend.
Though, his own personal mutiny didn't stop the relief he felt when he saw that there were no cars parked in the driveway, implying that no one was home.
"No one's home," He mentioned aloud as he opened up the gate for the younger.
Key nodded, walking through.
Jonghyun's eyes wandered over his uniform-clad back, landing just beneath the strip of bright turquoise that was his tank-top.
He grew a predatory smirk as he watched the movement of the younger's backside as he walked, mouth growing dry with every unintentionally-sexy sway of his hips…
Fuck.
Jonghyun shook his head quickly to rid himself of every dirty thought that was flying through his head at the possibilities, with no one home and Key in his room, where Jonghyun could pin him to the door, the wall, the bed and ravish him with his mouth, hands slipping under the hem of his shirt and unbuttoning his pants and wrapping around-
He had to shake his head again, feeling a pool of heat settling between his thighs.
When Jonghyun opened the door to his home, Key walked in, oblivious to the inappropriate scenarios in the older's mind.
Clearing his throat, Jonghyun rushed to think of a plausible excuse not to enter his room, for he knew that if they were in the privacy of his bedroom, he would feel too inclined to do such things to the younger without having the power to hold back…
"Key, want to help me with my homework?" He blurted out, stopping beside the dining table.
The younger looked at him with confusion. "You're a grade ahead of me, Jonghyun. How am I supposed to help you?"
"English homework," He clarified.
Key nodded. "Oh, all right,"
Jonghyun grinned shakily and set his bag on the table, taking a seat.
"In here?" Key asked, brows furrowing.
"Yeah, why not?" Jonghyun asked defensively.
The younger shrugged. "We usually go to your room."
"Well," Jonghyun began awkwardly, knowing that it would be better to just be honest with Key at this point, "If we were in my room, then I would want to… you know…"
Key's cheeks tinted.
"A-and I figured you wouldn't want to have dinner with my parents after we… well… yeah." He scratched the back of his neck.
Key smirked. "Is that all you think about around me?"
Jonghyun's mouth fell open and he turned redder than before. "No! I just remembered… you know, with no one home and everything… Well. You know what we did before when no one else was at your house." He looked at him pointedly.
Key blushed darker, tongue darting out to lick his lips nervously. He looked down at the table, unaware to how Jonghyun's eyes hungrily followed the movement of his tongue.
Jonghyun cleared his throat, the air suddenly electric as both of their minds went to the same gutter.
"So, your English homework?" Key asked.
The older nodded and pulled his textbook out of his bag, the loose-leaf pages of his homework paper crammed in between the binding. "I finished the written part, it's just the speaking that I'm… not sure about."
Key nodded. "So, start speaking and I'll help you if you get something wrong."
Jonghyun bit his lip as he read over the sentence, some nonsense example of miss oh-so-generic "Emily" doing something stupid that he didn't even understand, but the accompanying cartoon included some sunny beach scene.
He'd spoken English in front of Key plenty before, but he never failed to get incredibly nervous that he would mess something up terribly and Key would laugh at him…
Still, he cleared his throat again and sounded out the sentence the best he could.
Key nodded slowly when he finished, giving him some pointers about how to stress certain syllables over others, but really, Jonghyun couldn't pay attention to what he was saying.
All he noticed was the way that Key's lips moved around the foreign sounds along with the way that the already-low tone of his voice deepened every time he spoke English.
God, the thought of that same low voice being used in entirely different situations was starting to do raunchy things to Jonghyun's mind again…
"Key?" He interrupted the younger mid-sentence.
"What?" The younger looked cross at being cut off.
"Say something to me in English." He said, brain still hazy.
"I was just talking in English, Jjong." He said dryly.
"No, I mean to me," He still couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze glued to his pursed pink lips.
Key seemed to understand what he was really saying with his request.
With a smirk-that damn sly smirk that'd haunted him since they'd met for the first time-, Key said something that Jonghyun heard like music instead of words, smooth and deep and so insanely attractive…
"What'd you say?" Jonghyun asked distractedly, mouth going dry as Key's lips opened and closed around the last word.
"I said…" Key leaned closer to him, fingers playing at his tie and oh god it was becoming so much more difficult for Jonghyun to control himself with the way Key's eyes were smoldering… "The way you're looking at me is making it really hard to concentrate."
That was it.
Jonghyun closed the basically-nonexistent gap between them and crashed their lips together, aided in part by Key's hand that jerked him forward by the tie.
His hands fitted into the younger's hair, carding through the soft locks as his mouth moved insistently, heat passing through his body and making his brain go numb.
Key hummed against his mouth, swiping his tongue along the seam of his lips with his impatience.
Jonghyun's hormones were going insane, and it was with an accompanying alarm in his head that he tilted Key's head further to the side by his grip on his hair and tangled their tongues together hungrily.
At the back of his head, all Jonghyun could think was that this was exactly what he was trying to avoid earlier…
He couldn't really fathom why, though…
"Mmm, Key," He hummed when they broke apart for air, his hand trailing down the younger's neck, where the spots he'd left had just healed.
(He found himself tempted to make a few more.)
"Jonghyun, we shouldn't…" Key protested, though the dark look in his eyes said otherwise.
Jonghyun leaned forward to capture the younger's lower lip, making him gasp when he tugged it into his mouth and roughly began sucking.
Key's hands grasped the older's upper arms, breath coming heavier under Jonghyun's ministrations.
"Key… I like when you speak English," Jonghyun murmured as he pulled back just a bit.
"I noticed…" Key said breathlessly.
"But you're right. Sorry I kind of… got distracted for a second." He reached forward to gingerly fix Key's mussed hair back into place.
Key just smirked again. "It's okay. I know how I affect you." He joked.
Jonghyun unintentionally let out a strangled sort of noise. "No, you really don't…"
Key laughed and patted him on his head. "So, do you need help with the written part, since you can't handle the speaking right now?"
"Yes please," Jonghyun said through a thick throat, pushing the textbook and his papers towards him.
It was ten heavily-edited sentences later that the doorknob rattled and the door opened.
"Hey Dad," Jonghyun greeted carefully.
The man's eyes focused on the pair at the table bent over a single textbook, chairs scooted close together, thighs pressed side-to-side, and he grimaced, not offering a word. He walked into the kitchen for a glass of water.
Jonghyun's brows furrowed at his reaction to them, finding it to be nothing short of rude.
"Jonghyun, it's fine," Key whispered, sensing his disposition.
The older boy glanced over toward him, still unhappy. "No, it isn't."
"Your name is Kibum, isn't it?" Jonghyun's dad asked, leaning against the cabinet and facing them with crossed arms.
"Yes sir," Key answered confidently.
"Well, just so everything is clear, Kibum," He began, hands balling into fists, "If it was up to me, you wouldn't be anywhere near my home or my family." He finished bluntly.
Jonghyun's eyes widened at his straightforward disrespect, unable to see Key's face from the angle they sat.
The man continued. "To be completely honest, I despise the fact that my son has befriended you."
Jonghyun sucked in a breath, taken aback by his cruel words. His heart sank and his voice got lost in his throat and it only made it worse that he couldn't reach out and grab Key's hand under the table, because there was no way that his father wouldn't see.
Hot tears sprung to the corners of his eyes, and he felt helpless and weak as he could do nothing to help his boyfriend.
"I don't ever want my son to think that what you're doing is okay, when it's not." His jaw clenched.
Jonghyun almost choked, those words seeping straight into his bones, that tone making him feel like a kicked puppy.
"I blame you entirely for Jonghyun changing his mind about the idea of homosexuality." He said bitterly.
At this, Jonghyun's boldness flared along with his temper. "He did change my mind." He said strongly, with a boost of confidence and every desire to defend the younger boy, who was being attacked with no prior warning.
His dad glared at Jonghyun with enough fire to make him shrink right back down. His gaze moved back to Key. "If it weren't for my wife, you would never be at my house, would not be anywhere near my son."
Those words in particular struck Jonghyun with the intensity of lightning.
It felt like every fear he'd ever had about telling his father was coming true.
Every moment of hesitation was completely validated as he spoke of his intentions to keep the two apart.
Just try to break us up, Dad… Jonghyun thought with a solidity that he couldn't manage verbally, I love Key. You can't change that.
The younger took a steadying breath from his seat facing the man. "I respect that you don't approve of me." He said levelly.
Jonghyun was more than surprised at his docile words, expecting his usual attitude to show through.
His father seemed to feel the same thing, eyebrows rising.
"It's difficult for people to understand who aren't in my shoes, but," Key paused for a moment, and Jonghyun wanted nothing more than to be able to see his face (or possibly to run away from the verbal abuse from his father, but the lead that replaced his legs said otherwise), "This isn't something I can help. I can't choose how I am."
His father pursed his lips. "You can choose how you act on it, can't you? You can choose not to be selfish and bring others down with you."
Jonghyun's heart took the hit.
Selfish?
How in the world was Key selfish?
"I have to disagree there, too, sir." Key shook his head. "I don’t think that experiencing love, no matter what form it's in, is a selfish thing to do at all."
Jonghyun's heart warmed.
His father had the polar opposite reaction to his son's, brows knitting into the center of his face, "Negatively influencing someone, ruining their lives so that they think that they feel something unnatural like you're convinced you do, making them as messed-up and miserable as you are, is a very selfish thing to do."
"How could falling in love possibly ruin someone's life?" Jonghyun found himself demanding in a voice that wasn't quite his own, not even considering that he was hinting a bit too strongly at that point. He couldn't stand the way his father was speaking to Key like he was dirt, like there was something so wrong with him when there wasn't.
His father's head whipped toward him again and he glowered.
Jonghyun sat up tall, unwilling to shrink back once again at his father's intimidation.
In all honesty, he was still shaking.
"Son, there is a reason why homosexuals keep their lifestyle a secret, and that's because they do nothing but make others hate them for their unnatural decisions. To choose to be gay is to choose to lose all respect from others for the rest of your life. No matter how short-lived your phase is, that is what will be remembered, and I can guarantee that." His voice was level but coarse, words more and more cutting as he went along.
Jonghyun's leg started bouncing under the table as he willed himself not to start crying as every word was like a personal strike to his chest.
"I agree with that." Key spoke up after a moment of silence, sounding much more self-assured than Jonghyun could even hope to be, "There are plenty of people who no longer respect me, and even more who avoid me entirely for being open about my sexuality."
Jonghyun's heart hurt as he remembered how unashamedly Key had confirmed that Minho had been literally his only friend for years until Jonghyun showed up… Before then, Jonghyun hadn't given it much thought, only feeling pride at the fact that he was the one who was different after so long… It registered to him at that moment exactly why no one else would associate with Key, the exact reason why so many people had stopped even sparing him a glance in the hallway after his open displays of affection with the younger boy.
It hit him just then that those kids were only the tip of the iceberg, that there would be so many more people in the world who would hate them for how they felt about each other.
"Still," Key continued, tone more optimistic, "There are a few who do still respect me, who still like me even after knowing of my sexuality, and that includes your son."
Jonghyun managed a tiny smile.
"Those are the people I care about, not the ones who hate me for something I can't help." He shook his head, "I'm sorry, but approval of people who I don't know and who don't know me, people who do nothing but judge me, isn't my first priority in life."
His father opened his mouth.
A bit of his attitude starting to show through for the first time, Key cut him off before he could speak. "I think that, like everyone else, all I want in life is happiness. Whether or not people approve of me, I don't intend to put that desire in jeopardy by hiding who I am and who I love."
Jonghyun's heart swelled in his chest as the younger spoke.
Key's chin lifted as he finished. "And though I still respect your opinions on the matter, I don't care how people remember me, because I can assure you, what I feel is not a phase."
All the older boy wanted was to pull Key into the tightest hug he would ever experience, because he was so, so proud of the way that he handled that. The way he spoke to his father was with a sense of esteem and conviction that Jonghyun would never be able to manage… The amount of respect he had for the younger tripled, his body warming from its previous freezing, guilty state as his love rationalized that what they had, what they felt, was anything but as wrong as his father thought it was.
His father looked taken aback, brows nearly at his hairline now, mouth opening and closing repeatedly as if words failed him.
It was a liberating feeling, really.
It was as if the very materialization of that voice that'd distressed him for so long, the one that spoke and endorsed every insecurity he'd ever had about his feelings for Key (the one that still tried to make itself known, though its attempts were feeble at best), was suddenly completely speechless, all under Key's discretion.
It felt… like a victory, to be honest.
A secondhand victory, with his boyfriend, his love, as the true champion.
But it was just as Jonghyun was feeling free and proud that Key turned toward him the first time, a heartbreaking vulnerability shining through teary eyes.
Without a moment's hesitation, heart plummeting once again, Jonghyun flipped his textbook closed and shoved it into his bag. "We'll just go in there, then. I'm sorry to have bothered you." Jonghyun apologized sardonically, standing and taking Key's hand without a bit of remorse without waiting for his father to respond.
When Jonghyun opened his bedroom door, Key made a beeline to the center of his bed, folding his legs and looking down at his lap.
Jonghyun closed the door and set his bag down, carefully walking over and sitting down in front of the younger boy. "I'm sorry, Key," He said sincerely, "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know that he would-I'm so sorry…"
Key just shook his head, not looking up. "Now I understand why you didn't tell your parents about us."
A wave of guilt fell over Jonghyun, Key's voice shattering his heart and leaving it as sharp little shards stabbing all throughout his chest. "I'm sorry… I-that's what I grew up with… I just… I'm sorry for ever letting him make me doubt anything I felt for you."
"I understand why you did." Jonghyun could hear the sadness in his voice and it was the worst thing he'd ever felt, like there wasn't anything he could do to console him, because it was nothing but the reality in what'd just happened that bothered both of them.
Jonghyun did the best he could as he extended his arms forward and looped them around his back, pulling him in tightly.
Key fisted his hands in the back of his shirt, arms bent around his waist as well, head bowed on his shoulder.
Jonghyun bent down to kiss him on top of the head. "I'm sorry you had to go through that… That wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry. There's no way that I'm worth all of what my dad said." His throat thickened as he felt his words knotting in his own stomach.
Key pulled back and looked him straight in the eye for the first time for just a second before leaning in to press their lips together.
The older's eyes slid shut and he felt the world melt around him in the few moments of contact of Key's soft lips on his own.
"Don't doubt how I feel about you, Jonghyun," Key whispered when he broke away. "You're more than worth anything he has to say."
Those words had Jonghyun near tears, heat tugging behind his eyes and in his throat. With a small smile and trembling lips, he laid his hand against Key's cheek and pulled him in again, the feather-light touch of their mouths molding to each other enough to make Jonghyun shiver. The kiss was like a promise, the most reassuring of gestures that spelled out the security that they had in each other.
They could get through this. Whatever Jonghyun's dad said didn't matter, as long as the way that they felt wouldn't change.
(Jonghyun was sure that it wouldn't.)
They'd just broken apart, looking at each other with soft gazes and sweet smiles, when there was a knock at Jonghyun's door.
Regretting it as soon as he did, Jonghyun unhooked his arms from around Key and scooted back a little bit from him. "Yeah?"
The door opened, and Jonghyun rolled his eyes at the sight of his ever-overexcited-but-always-trying-to-hide-it sister.
"Key!" She stepped into the room and shut the door again, nearly bounding over to the bed and enveloping the younger in a hug that was suffocating even to Jonghyun with how tight it was.
Jonghyun chuckled at the two.
"I missed you," Songdam whined, loosening her hold the tiniest bit, "You're not here enough, and Jonghyun never lets me talk to you when you're on the phone,"
Key grinned over her shoulder, patting her back consolingly.
She finally released him and sat back against Jonghyun's wall, looking at the pair with a wide smile.
Jonghyun found himself rolling his eyes again.
"Did you see Dad again?" She asked carefully.
Fisting his hands, one arm stretching out to hold Key protectively around the waist, Jonghyun nodded.
Songdam seemed to read what he meant by it. She shook her head, waving her hand dismissively. "Don't pay attention to him. I love you guys, so that's all that matters, right?" She asked with a grin.
The couple laughed, Jonghyun's appreciation for his sister rising once again.
"And Mom is excited to meet you too," She said to Key.
"Really?" He asked nervously.
"Why?" Jonghyun asked, always guarded at the mention of either of his parents.
Songdam looked down and fiddled with her hands unsurely, "She asked me some stuff about you…" She shrugged.
"What'd you tell her?" Jonghyun asked, dreading her answer.
"Nothing about your relationship, I promise,"
He nodded, relieved.
"I just said that you're… really pretty and nice and that Jonghyun is really lucky to have you. As a friend, I mean." She looked up at him shyly.
Key smiled back, that sweet smile that showed his dimples and reduced Jonghyun to a pile of mush.
His affection for his sister had never been higher, Jonghyun was sure.
"What if she doesn't like me?" Key asked with worry, eyes darting between the siblings.
"What's not to like?" Songdam asked incredulously.
"I agree," Jonghyun said quietly, turning to him. "You're amazing," He leaned in to kiss him lightly on the forehead.
When he looked up, Songdam was watching them with her fists pressed over her cheeks, like she was holding in a squeal.
He looked at her suspiciously.
"You guys are so cute," She said in a high-pitched voice, eyes squeezing shut and feet kicking at the comforter.
"I know," Jonghyun joked at the same time Key asked, "Aren't we?"
They turned to grin at each other, successfully having just read each other's minds.
Smiling, Jonghyun leaned over to press their foreheads together and shut his eyes in a show of saccharine affection.
There was another knock at the door.
Jonghyun's heart fell and he leaned back to create some distance between him and Key.
The only other person in the house was his dad.
What could he possibly have to say?
Jonghyun didn't remove his arm from around Key's waist, gathering some courage to actually defend his boyfriend this time. "Yeah?" He called after clearing his throat.
"Jonghyun?"
That wasn't his father's voice.
With an almost-overwhelming wave of relief falling over him, Jonghyun said, "Hey Mom,"
The woman pushed the door open further and stuck her head in, not-surreptitiously looking around at the three sitting on the bed, her unreadable eyes sticking to Key.
"Mom, this is Kibum," Jonghyun said, nervousness showing through clear as day.
She smiled a tight-lipped, uncomfortable sort of smile. "Hello, Kibum,"
Key bowed somewhat awkwardly in his seated position. "Hello,"
"Do any of you want to help me with dinner?" She asked everyone, the question genuinely seeking help.
"I'll help," Key was the fastest to volunteer, jumping to his feet.
His mom's expression was at first surprised, but it warmed up just slightly. "All right,"
Jonghyun stood as well, intending to follow his boyfriend (who was a pro in the kitchen, so Jonghyun was more than excited to taste dinner that night).
Songdam was right behind him as they walked down the hall, though she broke away from the group to go back into her room.
"Where's Dad?" Jonghyun asked, trying to seem as casual as possible, as they made their way into the kitchen.
"He's in our room," She replied, busying herself with pulling ingredients out of the fridge while the two teens stood by the cabinets.
Jonghyun felt all sorts of relief, unwilling to endure another lecture about how what they were doing was everything that was wrong in the world.
He didn't miss the way Key let out a breath of relief as well, stationing himself at the cutting board and offering to handle the chopping of vegetables for their stew.
Jonghyun watched him, a fond smile stretching on his lips.
Once again, he found himself wondering what it would be like to spend every day like that with Key… What it would be like to be able to walk up behind him and pull him to his chest, whispering sweet nothings into his ear just to feel him shiver, sitting down at the table and sharing their food from a single pot or plate like they'd done before, unashamedly feeding each other in the most cheesy and the most perfect of ways…
"What's wrong?" Key asked, turning his head toward Jonghyun with concern.
It was then that Jonghyun realized that he'd been openly staring at the younger boy. "Nothing," He replied honestly, voice soft, smile turning tender as it was directed at his love.
Key returned the smile, dimples on his cheeks and butterflies filling Jonghyun's stomach.
"So, Jonghyun," His mom began, snapping the two out of their sweet moment.
"Yeah?" He asked, blushing lightly at the pointed look she gave him.
"You didn't introduce him to me properly." She said in an offhand manner, messing around with the burner on the stove.
His brows furrowed in confusion, sure that hadn't just imagined introducing Key a few minutes before. "What do you mean?"
"You two are dating, aren't you?"
A/N - /hides from projectiles
OKAY. to begin. for the people who don't have tumblr.. I'm really sorry that I didn't add the +chap on monday.. it was just one of those days.. I honestly tried to write it like four different times, and I just couldn't write... so, it didn't happen. :'c I'm sorry!!!
but in my defense, I'd just spent the two days before outlining mae's sequel, and the outline is finished at like 13k words
omfg. did you SEE the scans from "The First" album!??!? like seriously???!?!? (this) and (this) and (this).. my life. I can't even. Key looks like a really hot lesbian and I ain't even mad.
aaannnddd.. who wants to see (a kewl picture I drew of Key)?? 'cause I never post my fan-art here anymore.. :(
oh. and wish me luck, guys c': I'm trying to transfer schools to a charter school, and I'm praying that they'll accept me before next semester.. PRAY FOR ME XDXD
andd. I think that's it for now c: I'll see you guys on the day of satur. god, why am I like this?? XP
okay. bye :)
Kat
mikssi
[next]
Pairing: Jongkey, side!2min
Rating: PG15-R
Genre: high school!au, angst, romance
Summary: Filthy. Disgusting. Unnatural. Wrong. Jonghyun had always been taught that homosexuality was nothing less than revolting. He never questioned the fact, though he never saw what exactly was so bad about it... But after he meets the subtly-rebellious and always-honest boy who prefers to be called "Key", he finds himself wondering... If it was wrong, then why did it always make him so happy? And if it was so unnatural, then why can't he make it stop?
Jonghyun didn't let go of Key's hand when they turned onto his street and came upon his house, unwilling to hold back any more than absolutely necessary when it came to showing his affection to his (wonderful, gorgeous, amazing) boyfriend.
Though, his own personal mutiny didn't stop the relief he felt when he saw that there were no cars parked in the driveway, implying that no one was home.
"No one's home," He mentioned aloud as he opened up the gate for the younger.
Key nodded, walking through.
Jonghyun's eyes wandered over his uniform-clad back, landing just beneath the strip of bright turquoise that was his tank-top.
He grew a predatory smirk as he watched the movement of the younger's backside as he walked, mouth growing dry with every unintentionally-sexy sway of his hips…
Fuck.
Jonghyun shook his head quickly to rid himself of every dirty thought that was flying through his head at the possibilities, with no one home and Key in his room, where Jonghyun could pin him to the door, the wall, the bed and ravish him with his mouth, hands slipping under the hem of his shirt and unbuttoning his pants and wrapping around-
He had to shake his head again, feeling a pool of heat settling between his thighs.
When Jonghyun opened the door to his home, Key walked in, oblivious to the inappropriate scenarios in the older's mind.
Clearing his throat, Jonghyun rushed to think of a plausible excuse not to enter his room, for he knew that if they were in the privacy of his bedroom, he would feel too inclined to do such things to the younger without having the power to hold back…
"Key, want to help me with my homework?" He blurted out, stopping beside the dining table.
The younger looked at him with confusion. "You're a grade ahead of me, Jonghyun. How am I supposed to help you?"
"English homework," He clarified.
Key nodded. "Oh, all right,"
Jonghyun grinned shakily and set his bag on the table, taking a seat.
"In here?" Key asked, brows furrowing.
"Yeah, why not?" Jonghyun asked defensively.
The younger shrugged. "We usually go to your room."
"Well," Jonghyun began awkwardly, knowing that it would be better to just be honest with Key at this point, "If we were in my room, then I would want to… you know…"
Key's cheeks tinted.
"A-and I figured you wouldn't want to have dinner with my parents after we… well… yeah." He scratched the back of his neck.
Key smirked. "Is that all you think about around me?"
Jonghyun's mouth fell open and he turned redder than before. "No! I just remembered… you know, with no one home and everything… Well. You know what we did before when no one else was at your house." He looked at him pointedly.
Key blushed darker, tongue darting out to lick his lips nervously. He looked down at the table, unaware to how Jonghyun's eyes hungrily followed the movement of his tongue.
Jonghyun cleared his throat, the air suddenly electric as both of their minds went to the same gutter.
"So, your English homework?" Key asked.
The older nodded and pulled his textbook out of his bag, the loose-leaf pages of his homework paper crammed in between the binding. "I finished the written part, it's just the speaking that I'm… not sure about."
Key nodded. "So, start speaking and I'll help you if you get something wrong."
Jonghyun bit his lip as he read over the sentence, some nonsense example of miss oh-so-generic "Emily" doing something stupid that he didn't even understand, but the accompanying cartoon included some sunny beach scene.
He'd spoken English in front of Key plenty before, but he never failed to get incredibly nervous that he would mess something up terribly and Key would laugh at him…
Still, he cleared his throat again and sounded out the sentence the best he could.
Key nodded slowly when he finished, giving him some pointers about how to stress certain syllables over others, but really, Jonghyun couldn't pay attention to what he was saying.
All he noticed was the way that Key's lips moved around the foreign sounds along with the way that the already-low tone of his voice deepened every time he spoke English.
God, the thought of that same low voice being used in entirely different situations was starting to do raunchy things to Jonghyun's mind again…
"Key?" He interrupted the younger mid-sentence.
"What?" The younger looked cross at being cut off.
"Say something to me in English." He said, brain still hazy.
"I was just talking in English, Jjong." He said dryly.
"No, I mean to me," He still couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze glued to his pursed pink lips.
Key seemed to understand what he was really saying with his request.
With a smirk-that damn sly smirk that'd haunted him since they'd met for the first time-, Key said something that Jonghyun heard like music instead of words, smooth and deep and so insanely attractive…
"What'd you say?" Jonghyun asked distractedly, mouth going dry as Key's lips opened and closed around the last word.
"I said…" Key leaned closer to him, fingers playing at his tie and oh god it was becoming so much more difficult for Jonghyun to control himself with the way Key's eyes were smoldering… "The way you're looking at me is making it really hard to concentrate."
That was it.
Jonghyun closed the basically-nonexistent gap between them and crashed their lips together, aided in part by Key's hand that jerked him forward by the tie.
His hands fitted into the younger's hair, carding through the soft locks as his mouth moved insistently, heat passing through his body and making his brain go numb.
Key hummed against his mouth, swiping his tongue along the seam of his lips with his impatience.
Jonghyun's hormones were going insane, and it was with an accompanying alarm in his head that he tilted Key's head further to the side by his grip on his hair and tangled their tongues together hungrily.
At the back of his head, all Jonghyun could think was that this was exactly what he was trying to avoid earlier…
He couldn't really fathom why, though…
"Mmm, Key," He hummed when they broke apart for air, his hand trailing down the younger's neck, where the spots he'd left had just healed.
(He found himself tempted to make a few more.)
"Jonghyun, we shouldn't…" Key protested, though the dark look in his eyes said otherwise.
Jonghyun leaned forward to capture the younger's lower lip, making him gasp when he tugged it into his mouth and roughly began sucking.
Key's hands grasped the older's upper arms, breath coming heavier under Jonghyun's ministrations.
"Key… I like when you speak English," Jonghyun murmured as he pulled back just a bit.
"I noticed…" Key said breathlessly.
"But you're right. Sorry I kind of… got distracted for a second." He reached forward to gingerly fix Key's mussed hair back into place.
Key just smirked again. "It's okay. I know how I affect you." He joked.
Jonghyun unintentionally let out a strangled sort of noise. "No, you really don't…"
Key laughed and patted him on his head. "So, do you need help with the written part, since you can't handle the speaking right now?"
"Yes please," Jonghyun said through a thick throat, pushing the textbook and his papers towards him.
It was ten heavily-edited sentences later that the doorknob rattled and the door opened.
"Hey Dad," Jonghyun greeted carefully.
The man's eyes focused on the pair at the table bent over a single textbook, chairs scooted close together, thighs pressed side-to-side, and he grimaced, not offering a word. He walked into the kitchen for a glass of water.
Jonghyun's brows furrowed at his reaction to them, finding it to be nothing short of rude.
"Jonghyun, it's fine," Key whispered, sensing his disposition.
The older boy glanced over toward him, still unhappy. "No, it isn't."
"Your name is Kibum, isn't it?" Jonghyun's dad asked, leaning against the cabinet and facing them with crossed arms.
"Yes sir," Key answered confidently.
"Well, just so everything is clear, Kibum," He began, hands balling into fists, "If it was up to me, you wouldn't be anywhere near my home or my family." He finished bluntly.
Jonghyun's eyes widened at his straightforward disrespect, unable to see Key's face from the angle they sat.
The man continued. "To be completely honest, I despise the fact that my son has befriended you."
Jonghyun sucked in a breath, taken aback by his cruel words. His heart sank and his voice got lost in his throat and it only made it worse that he couldn't reach out and grab Key's hand under the table, because there was no way that his father wouldn't see.
Hot tears sprung to the corners of his eyes, and he felt helpless and weak as he could do nothing to help his boyfriend.
"I don't ever want my son to think that what you're doing is okay, when it's not." His jaw clenched.
Jonghyun almost choked, those words seeping straight into his bones, that tone making him feel like a kicked puppy.
"I blame you entirely for Jonghyun changing his mind about the idea of homosexuality." He said bitterly.
At this, Jonghyun's boldness flared along with his temper. "He did change my mind." He said strongly, with a boost of confidence and every desire to defend the younger boy, who was being attacked with no prior warning.
His dad glared at Jonghyun with enough fire to make him shrink right back down. His gaze moved back to Key. "If it weren't for my wife, you would never be at my house, would not be anywhere near my son."
Those words in particular struck Jonghyun with the intensity of lightning.
It felt like every fear he'd ever had about telling his father was coming true.
Every moment of hesitation was completely validated as he spoke of his intentions to keep the two apart.
Just try to break us up, Dad… Jonghyun thought with a solidity that he couldn't manage verbally, I love Key. You can't change that.
The younger took a steadying breath from his seat facing the man. "I respect that you don't approve of me." He said levelly.
Jonghyun was more than surprised at his docile words, expecting his usual attitude to show through.
His father seemed to feel the same thing, eyebrows rising.
"It's difficult for people to understand who aren't in my shoes, but," Key paused for a moment, and Jonghyun wanted nothing more than to be able to see his face (or possibly to run away from the verbal abuse from his father, but the lead that replaced his legs said otherwise), "This isn't something I can help. I can't choose how I am."
His father pursed his lips. "You can choose how you act on it, can't you? You can choose not to be selfish and bring others down with you."
Jonghyun's heart took the hit.
Selfish?
How in the world was Key selfish?
"I have to disagree there, too, sir." Key shook his head. "I don’t think that experiencing love, no matter what form it's in, is a selfish thing to do at all."
Jonghyun's heart warmed.
His father had the polar opposite reaction to his son's, brows knitting into the center of his face, "Negatively influencing someone, ruining their lives so that they think that they feel something unnatural like you're convinced you do, making them as messed-up and miserable as you are, is a very selfish thing to do."
"How could falling in love possibly ruin someone's life?" Jonghyun found himself demanding in a voice that wasn't quite his own, not even considering that he was hinting a bit too strongly at that point. He couldn't stand the way his father was speaking to Key like he was dirt, like there was something so wrong with him when there wasn't.
His father's head whipped toward him again and he glowered.
Jonghyun sat up tall, unwilling to shrink back once again at his father's intimidation.
In all honesty, he was still shaking.
"Son, there is a reason why homosexuals keep their lifestyle a secret, and that's because they do nothing but make others hate them for their unnatural decisions. To choose to be gay is to choose to lose all respect from others for the rest of your life. No matter how short-lived your phase is, that is what will be remembered, and I can guarantee that." His voice was level but coarse, words more and more cutting as he went along.
Jonghyun's leg started bouncing under the table as he willed himself not to start crying as every word was like a personal strike to his chest.
"I agree with that." Key spoke up after a moment of silence, sounding much more self-assured than Jonghyun could even hope to be, "There are plenty of people who no longer respect me, and even more who avoid me entirely for being open about my sexuality."
Jonghyun's heart hurt as he remembered how unashamedly Key had confirmed that Minho had been literally his only friend for years until Jonghyun showed up… Before then, Jonghyun hadn't given it much thought, only feeling pride at the fact that he was the one who was different after so long… It registered to him at that moment exactly why no one else would associate with Key, the exact reason why so many people had stopped even sparing him a glance in the hallway after his open displays of affection with the younger boy.
It hit him just then that those kids were only the tip of the iceberg, that there would be so many more people in the world who would hate them for how they felt about each other.
"Still," Key continued, tone more optimistic, "There are a few who do still respect me, who still like me even after knowing of my sexuality, and that includes your son."
Jonghyun managed a tiny smile.
"Those are the people I care about, not the ones who hate me for something I can't help." He shook his head, "I'm sorry, but approval of people who I don't know and who don't know me, people who do nothing but judge me, isn't my first priority in life."
His father opened his mouth.
A bit of his attitude starting to show through for the first time, Key cut him off before he could speak. "I think that, like everyone else, all I want in life is happiness. Whether or not people approve of me, I don't intend to put that desire in jeopardy by hiding who I am and who I love."
Jonghyun's heart swelled in his chest as the younger spoke.
Key's chin lifted as he finished. "And though I still respect your opinions on the matter, I don't care how people remember me, because I can assure you, what I feel is not a phase."
All the older boy wanted was to pull Key into the tightest hug he would ever experience, because he was so, so proud of the way that he handled that. The way he spoke to his father was with a sense of esteem and conviction that Jonghyun would never be able to manage… The amount of respect he had for the younger tripled, his body warming from its previous freezing, guilty state as his love rationalized that what they had, what they felt, was anything but as wrong as his father thought it was.
His father looked taken aback, brows nearly at his hairline now, mouth opening and closing repeatedly as if words failed him.
It was a liberating feeling, really.
It was as if the very materialization of that voice that'd distressed him for so long, the one that spoke and endorsed every insecurity he'd ever had about his feelings for Key (the one that still tried to make itself known, though its attempts were feeble at best), was suddenly completely speechless, all under Key's discretion.
It felt… like a victory, to be honest.
A secondhand victory, with his boyfriend, his love, as the true champion.
But it was just as Jonghyun was feeling free and proud that Key turned toward him the first time, a heartbreaking vulnerability shining through teary eyes.
Without a moment's hesitation, heart plummeting once again, Jonghyun flipped his textbook closed and shoved it into his bag. "We'll just go in there, then. I'm sorry to have bothered you." Jonghyun apologized sardonically, standing and taking Key's hand without a bit of remorse without waiting for his father to respond.
When Jonghyun opened his bedroom door, Key made a beeline to the center of his bed, folding his legs and looking down at his lap.
Jonghyun closed the door and set his bag down, carefully walking over and sitting down in front of the younger boy. "I'm sorry, Key," He said sincerely, "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know that he would-I'm so sorry…"
Key just shook his head, not looking up. "Now I understand why you didn't tell your parents about us."
A wave of guilt fell over Jonghyun, Key's voice shattering his heart and leaving it as sharp little shards stabbing all throughout his chest. "I'm sorry… I-that's what I grew up with… I just… I'm sorry for ever letting him make me doubt anything I felt for you."
"I understand why you did." Jonghyun could hear the sadness in his voice and it was the worst thing he'd ever felt, like there wasn't anything he could do to console him, because it was nothing but the reality in what'd just happened that bothered both of them.
Jonghyun did the best he could as he extended his arms forward and looped them around his back, pulling him in tightly.
Key fisted his hands in the back of his shirt, arms bent around his waist as well, head bowed on his shoulder.
Jonghyun bent down to kiss him on top of the head. "I'm sorry you had to go through that… That wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry. There's no way that I'm worth all of what my dad said." His throat thickened as he felt his words knotting in his own stomach.
Key pulled back and looked him straight in the eye for the first time for just a second before leaning in to press their lips together.
The older's eyes slid shut and he felt the world melt around him in the few moments of contact of Key's soft lips on his own.
"Don't doubt how I feel about you, Jonghyun," Key whispered when he broke away. "You're more than worth anything he has to say."
Those words had Jonghyun near tears, heat tugging behind his eyes and in his throat. With a small smile and trembling lips, he laid his hand against Key's cheek and pulled him in again, the feather-light touch of their mouths molding to each other enough to make Jonghyun shiver. The kiss was like a promise, the most reassuring of gestures that spelled out the security that they had in each other.
They could get through this. Whatever Jonghyun's dad said didn't matter, as long as the way that they felt wouldn't change.
(Jonghyun was sure that it wouldn't.)
They'd just broken apart, looking at each other with soft gazes and sweet smiles, when there was a knock at Jonghyun's door.
Regretting it as soon as he did, Jonghyun unhooked his arms from around Key and scooted back a little bit from him. "Yeah?"
The door opened, and Jonghyun rolled his eyes at the sight of his ever-overexcited-but-always-trying-to-hide-it sister.
"Key!" She stepped into the room and shut the door again, nearly bounding over to the bed and enveloping the younger in a hug that was suffocating even to Jonghyun with how tight it was.
Jonghyun chuckled at the two.
"I missed you," Songdam whined, loosening her hold the tiniest bit, "You're not here enough, and Jonghyun never lets me talk to you when you're on the phone,"
Key grinned over her shoulder, patting her back consolingly.
She finally released him and sat back against Jonghyun's wall, looking at the pair with a wide smile.
Jonghyun found himself rolling his eyes again.
"Did you see Dad again?" She asked carefully.
Fisting his hands, one arm stretching out to hold Key protectively around the waist, Jonghyun nodded.
Songdam seemed to read what he meant by it. She shook her head, waving her hand dismissively. "Don't pay attention to him. I love you guys, so that's all that matters, right?" She asked with a grin.
The couple laughed, Jonghyun's appreciation for his sister rising once again.
"And Mom is excited to meet you too," She said to Key.
"Really?" He asked nervously.
"Why?" Jonghyun asked, always guarded at the mention of either of his parents.
Songdam looked down and fiddled with her hands unsurely, "She asked me some stuff about you…" She shrugged.
"What'd you tell her?" Jonghyun asked, dreading her answer.
"Nothing about your relationship, I promise,"
He nodded, relieved.
"I just said that you're… really pretty and nice and that Jonghyun is really lucky to have you. As a friend, I mean." She looked up at him shyly.
Key smiled back, that sweet smile that showed his dimples and reduced Jonghyun to a pile of mush.
His affection for his sister had never been higher, Jonghyun was sure.
"What if she doesn't like me?" Key asked with worry, eyes darting between the siblings.
"What's not to like?" Songdam asked incredulously.
"I agree," Jonghyun said quietly, turning to him. "You're amazing," He leaned in to kiss him lightly on the forehead.
When he looked up, Songdam was watching them with her fists pressed over her cheeks, like she was holding in a squeal.
He looked at her suspiciously.
"You guys are so cute," She said in a high-pitched voice, eyes squeezing shut and feet kicking at the comforter.
"I know," Jonghyun joked at the same time Key asked, "Aren't we?"
They turned to grin at each other, successfully having just read each other's minds.
Smiling, Jonghyun leaned over to press their foreheads together and shut his eyes in a show of saccharine affection.
There was another knock at the door.
Jonghyun's heart fell and he leaned back to create some distance between him and Key.
The only other person in the house was his dad.
What could he possibly have to say?
Jonghyun didn't remove his arm from around Key's waist, gathering some courage to actually defend his boyfriend this time. "Yeah?" He called after clearing his throat.
"Jonghyun?"
That wasn't his father's voice.
With an almost-overwhelming wave of relief falling over him, Jonghyun said, "Hey Mom,"
The woman pushed the door open further and stuck her head in, not-surreptitiously looking around at the three sitting on the bed, her unreadable eyes sticking to Key.
"Mom, this is Kibum," Jonghyun said, nervousness showing through clear as day.
She smiled a tight-lipped, uncomfortable sort of smile. "Hello, Kibum,"
Key bowed somewhat awkwardly in his seated position. "Hello,"
"Do any of you want to help me with dinner?" She asked everyone, the question genuinely seeking help.
"I'll help," Key was the fastest to volunteer, jumping to his feet.
His mom's expression was at first surprised, but it warmed up just slightly. "All right,"
Jonghyun stood as well, intending to follow his boyfriend (who was a pro in the kitchen, so Jonghyun was more than excited to taste dinner that night).
Songdam was right behind him as they walked down the hall, though she broke away from the group to go back into her room.
"Where's Dad?" Jonghyun asked, trying to seem as casual as possible, as they made their way into the kitchen.
"He's in our room," She replied, busying herself with pulling ingredients out of the fridge while the two teens stood by the cabinets.
Jonghyun felt all sorts of relief, unwilling to endure another lecture about how what they were doing was everything that was wrong in the world.
He didn't miss the way Key let out a breath of relief as well, stationing himself at the cutting board and offering to handle the chopping of vegetables for their stew.
Jonghyun watched him, a fond smile stretching on his lips.
Once again, he found himself wondering what it would be like to spend every day like that with Key… What it would be like to be able to walk up behind him and pull him to his chest, whispering sweet nothings into his ear just to feel him shiver, sitting down at the table and sharing their food from a single pot or plate like they'd done before, unashamedly feeding each other in the most cheesy and the most perfect of ways…
"What's wrong?" Key asked, turning his head toward Jonghyun with concern.
It was then that Jonghyun realized that he'd been openly staring at the younger boy. "Nothing," He replied honestly, voice soft, smile turning tender as it was directed at his love.
Key returned the smile, dimples on his cheeks and butterflies filling Jonghyun's stomach.
"So, Jonghyun," His mom began, snapping the two out of their sweet moment.
"Yeah?" He asked, blushing lightly at the pointed look she gave him.
"You didn't introduce him to me properly." She said in an offhand manner, messing around with the burner on the stove.
His brows furrowed in confusion, sure that hadn't just imagined introducing Key a few minutes before. "What do you mean?"
"You two are dating, aren't you?"
A/N - /hides from projectiles
OKAY. to begin. for the people who don't have tumblr.. I'm really sorry that I didn't add the +chap on monday.. it was just one of those days.. I honestly tried to write it like four different times, and I just couldn't write... so, it didn't happen. :'c I'm sorry!!!
but in my defense, I'd just spent the two days before outlining mae's sequel, and the outline is finished at like 13k words
omfg. did you SEE the scans from "The First" album!??!? like seriously???!?!? (this) and (this) and (this).. my life. I can't even. Key looks like a really hot lesbian and I ain't even mad.
aaannnddd.. who wants to see (a kewl picture I drew of Key)?? 'cause I never post my fan-art here anymore.. :(
oh. and wish me luck, guys c': I'm trying to transfer schools to a charter school, and I'm praying that they'll accept me before next semester.. PRAY FOR ME XDXD
andd. I think that's it for now c: I'll see you guys on the day of satur. god, why am I like this?? XP
okay. bye :)
Kat
mikssi
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