A Mother's Duty - Chapter Ten
17 August 5115 (Earth Standard Date)
Gliese 581g (Hubworld)
“It’s not your fault.”
Samara glanced over at Ianto, who had sat beside her on the bench in the park she’d found herself in after leaving Torchwood Tower in order to be on her own for a bit. Clint had mumbled something about “brooding” when she’d left the three of them in the security centre at the Tower, and Samara couldn’t disagree.
She wasn’t even sure how she’d managed to get to the park. Samara only remembered wandering Gliese City, until she’d gotten tired and sat herself down on the most convenient seat…which was a plastic composite bench in a shaded area of a small park, dark-leaved trees hiding the red primary from sight and making the shadows a deep bronze colour. It was quiet there, as if the rest of the city no longer existed, and she appreciated the silence.
Since she didn’t have a chronometer, Samara had no idea how much time had passed as she’d sat there, lost in her own painful thoughts. Honestly, she couldn’t have said what they were, only that they whirled through her mind like wind dervishes and would not settle. It wasn’t that she was giving up, it was just that she was beginning to wonder if she really was the right person to help Gray back from the abyss his sanity had fallen over. She didn’t know how she was supposed to convince him to accept the help he needed in order to get better.
Still, there was a place within her soul that felt relief that Ianto thought it wasn’t her fault. Samara was feeling like such a failure, and she didn’t know quite how to cope.
She took the opportunity to lean against his steady shoulder, letting his warmth soak into her bones. There was silence between them, but it was a nice one, and Samara allowed herself to wallow just a little in his presence.
“It’s just,” she finally murmured into the quiet of the park, “I’m just not sure how I’m going to be able to help him. I’m so in over my head in this…”
“I understand,” he said, the soft accent he had giving those two words more sympathy than she’s expected. “He’s your son. It has to be so very hard to see him like that and feel so helpless to do anything.”
Samara knew he really did understand. She could see it in his treatment of Lisa, and his inability to help her with whatever she was going through. It wasn’t quite on the same par, but if anyone could empathise, it would have been him, despite what Gray had done to him and his team in the past. After all, he’d vowed vengeance against Gray, and yet had put it off because of Jack. For the dragon to do that…it spoke so much to his love of Samara’s oldest son, and she couldn’t help but love him more for it, for putting aside his imperative to avenge his mate and family for what Gray had done simply because this was Jack’s brother, and he would never hurt his mate that way.
That was why she said, “Ianto, I need you to promise me something.”
His hand reached over and grasped hers. “If it’s within my power, you only have to ask.”
“I want you to promise me, if Gray…can’t be saved, and if he gets out and tries to hurt someone, that you’ll fulfil that vow you made all those centuries ago.”
Goddess, the pain that simple request caused! Her heart felt like it was breaking, but at the same time Samara had to trust someone to make the hard decision if it came down to it. Yes, she wanted nothing more than to save her son. She wanted Gray back at her side, and Jack’s, and a part of their family. But she’d seen him twice now, and she’d heard the stories of what he’d done before, and while she still had hope that wasn’t enough to cause her to lose sight of what Gray was capable of.
She felt him stiffen slightly against her, and then the tension was gone with a sigh that seemed to have come from his very toes. “Samara…Mam…I will do whatever it takes to protect my family. You know that.”
A tear tracked down her cheek, and Samara dashed it away, suddenly angry at her son-by-mating for not coming out and giving her the promise that she was asking for. “Promise me, Ianto,” she demanded, pushing herself away in order to look him right in the eye.
His expression was unbelievably old and sad. “You’re hurting right now, and I don’t think you understand what you’re asking - “
“I do,” she snapped. “I understand exactly what I’m asking!” In Gray’s current, unstable, state, anything could happen if he was able to escape Torchwood. Not that she thought Phillip would let something like that occur, but she knew Gray’s intelligence had slipped into cunning over the time he’d been held captive and would be capable of any amount of damage and not care what he wrought.
Not that she was going to give up on him, but Samara could see the sheer magnitude of the hate in him. What would he do if he was aware of their family? They wouldn’t be safe…and she understood Jack would feel horribly guilty if Gray did anything to any of his children or grandchildren. It was the main reason she hadn’t told Gray that Clint was his own nephew, and Phillip had agreed with her.
“And what about Jack? I made my own promise to him when we put Gray into cryogenic suspension. You’re asking me to choose between you and my mate, and you should know who will always come first with me.”
Every bit of anger left her in a rush, and the headache that began just behind her eyes was left in its place. Of course, that was exactly what she was asking him to do, and that was incredibly unfair of her to do that to him. “I’m sorry…”
“No…don’t be.” Ianto smiled softly at her. “I do understand what you’re asking, and I’ll be honest…I do agree with you. But I can’t do anything behind Jack’s back like that. I’ll talk to him about it tonight. Let him know what you want to do. And, if he agrees, then I’ll make that promise to you. Will that be alright?”
It really was more than fair. There was no way Samara would do anything to hurt either of her sons, and so she would accept what he was offering. “Yes, that’s fine.”
That capitulation earned her another smile, this one sweet. “Then I’ll speak with Jack when I get back home. I will let you know what I decide in the morning.”
Samara hugged him, feeling horribly guilty for what she’d tried to get him to do, and not considering Jack’s feelings in the matter. But she was Gray’s mother; she really should have final say on what was done with him, only she’d come up against a vow made thousands of years ago, and one that the dragon held far too dear to break.
“Did you know,” Ianto said, changing the subject, “that this park was the first one here on Hubworld? Jack had trees brought from Earth for it, as a gift to me.”
“My son truly loves you.”
“I know he does.” This smile was pleased. “Of course, there had to be some changes made in the trees’ genetic structure so they’d survive under Gliese’s red sun, but it was worth it. There’s power in these trees, even if it’s not quite what it had been back on Earth. You see, Jack had had them taken from a very magical place called Roundstone Wood, which had once been an area of tremendous power. The rest of the wood is still there, even though it’s not the same as it once was, what with the sea inundating Old Cardiff, but it was one of the last of the magical places before Merlin brought back magic to the universe.”
Samara wondered why Jack hadn’t taken trees from Ddraig Llyn, but didn’t ask. She was certain her son had good reason to.
Ianto glanced up at the trees. “Back before we retired, I came here when I wanted to Name dragon friends. The old magic is still here, and it witnesses the Naming, making it official.” He shrugged. “Of course, now that Jack and I live back on Earth, I do all my Naming in Ddraig Llyn, but this park served its purpose while he and I were here.” He chuckled. “There are even a couple of the Fae here, living among these ancient trees. I know Jack was a bit upset by that, but they only accompanied the trees that had been their home for more millennia than anyone can count.”
She’d been told the story of the Fae. Samara wasn’t certain that having them on Hubworld was such a good idea, and said so.
“Away from Earth, they have no real power over anyone,” he assured her. “They cannot take Chosen Ones or threaten Hubworld with destruction. Their Pacts won’t allow them to.”
“And we are content here, Ancient One.”
The sibilant voice caused Samara to jump, and it was only Ianto’s hand in hers that kept her in her seat.
Suddenly standing before them was a being that might have been green, but its skin was turned lurid by the red light from the sun dappling through the trees. It had gossamer wings, which kept it hovering over the ground with a sound like an insect’s buzzing. The large eyes were dark, and it had a mouthful of sharp teeth that were bared in a ghastly smile.
Ianto nodded. “I’m glad that’s so, Jasmine.”
The creature - the Fae - its name was Jasmine?
“You know if you and your cohort ever decide to return to Earth that I’ll make sure you get there.”
“We understand that, but this place is new, and magical, and we are thriving here even without any new Chosen Ones.” The Fae called Jasmine bowed. “And welcome, Mother of the Undying One. Your son once did us a service, and we have not yet been able to honour that debt. This promise also falls upon you.”
Samara didn’t know what to say about that, so she simply thanked Jasmine, inclining her head to the Fae.
The Fae nodded, and in a puff of flower petals was gone, the sweet scent of roses surrounding them and tickling Samara’s nose.
“Jasmine doesn’t always come out like that,” Ianto replied.
“Should I be honoured?”
He huffed a laugh. “With the Fae, you can never tell.” He got to his feet. “Let me take you back to Phillip and Clint’s home,” Ianto offered, still holding onto her hand. “They’re both quite worried about you.”
She let him pull her to her feet. “Thank you, for coming after me.” She did feel much lighter than before, even if nothing had really been settled.
“It was my pleasure.”
“You’re going to have to tell me just how you know that Fae’s name, though.”
Ianto shook his head. “It’s a long story, but I’m sure it can be arranged.”
He squeezed her hand, and then led her through the trees and back toward her family.
Gliese 581g (Hubworld)
“It’s not your fault.”
Samara glanced over at Ianto, who had sat beside her on the bench in the park she’d found herself in after leaving Torchwood Tower in order to be on her own for a bit. Clint had mumbled something about “brooding” when she’d left the three of them in the security centre at the Tower, and Samara couldn’t disagree.
She wasn’t even sure how she’d managed to get to the park. Samara only remembered wandering Gliese City, until she’d gotten tired and sat herself down on the most convenient seat…which was a plastic composite bench in a shaded area of a small park, dark-leaved trees hiding the red primary from sight and making the shadows a deep bronze colour. It was quiet there, as if the rest of the city no longer existed, and she appreciated the silence.
Since she didn’t have a chronometer, Samara had no idea how much time had passed as she’d sat there, lost in her own painful thoughts. Honestly, she couldn’t have said what they were, only that they whirled through her mind like wind dervishes and would not settle. It wasn’t that she was giving up, it was just that she was beginning to wonder if she really was the right person to help Gray back from the abyss his sanity had fallen over. She didn’t know how she was supposed to convince him to accept the help he needed in order to get better.
Still, there was a place within her soul that felt relief that Ianto thought it wasn’t her fault. Samara was feeling like such a failure, and she didn’t know quite how to cope.
She took the opportunity to lean against his steady shoulder, letting his warmth soak into her bones. There was silence between them, but it was a nice one, and Samara allowed herself to wallow just a little in his presence.
“It’s just,” she finally murmured into the quiet of the park, “I’m just not sure how I’m going to be able to help him. I’m so in over my head in this…”
“I understand,” he said, the soft accent he had giving those two words more sympathy than she’s expected. “He’s your son. It has to be so very hard to see him like that and feel so helpless to do anything.”
Samara knew he really did understand. She could see it in his treatment of Lisa, and his inability to help her with whatever she was going through. It wasn’t quite on the same par, but if anyone could empathise, it would have been him, despite what Gray had done to him and his team in the past. After all, he’d vowed vengeance against Gray, and yet had put it off because of Jack. For the dragon to do that…it spoke so much to his love of Samara’s oldest son, and she couldn’t help but love him more for it, for putting aside his imperative to avenge his mate and family for what Gray had done simply because this was Jack’s brother, and he would never hurt his mate that way.
That was why she said, “Ianto, I need you to promise me something.”
His hand reached over and grasped hers. “If it’s within my power, you only have to ask.”
“I want you to promise me, if Gray…can’t be saved, and if he gets out and tries to hurt someone, that you’ll fulfil that vow you made all those centuries ago.”
Goddess, the pain that simple request caused! Her heart felt like it was breaking, but at the same time Samara had to trust someone to make the hard decision if it came down to it. Yes, she wanted nothing more than to save her son. She wanted Gray back at her side, and Jack’s, and a part of their family. But she’d seen him twice now, and she’d heard the stories of what he’d done before, and while she still had hope that wasn’t enough to cause her to lose sight of what Gray was capable of.
She felt him stiffen slightly against her, and then the tension was gone with a sigh that seemed to have come from his very toes. “Samara…Mam…I will do whatever it takes to protect my family. You know that.”
A tear tracked down her cheek, and Samara dashed it away, suddenly angry at her son-by-mating for not coming out and giving her the promise that she was asking for. “Promise me, Ianto,” she demanded, pushing herself away in order to look him right in the eye.
His expression was unbelievably old and sad. “You’re hurting right now, and I don’t think you understand what you’re asking - “
“I do,” she snapped. “I understand exactly what I’m asking!” In Gray’s current, unstable, state, anything could happen if he was able to escape Torchwood. Not that she thought Phillip would let something like that occur, but she knew Gray’s intelligence had slipped into cunning over the time he’d been held captive and would be capable of any amount of damage and not care what he wrought.
Not that she was going to give up on him, but Samara could see the sheer magnitude of the hate in him. What would he do if he was aware of their family? They wouldn’t be safe…and she understood Jack would feel horribly guilty if Gray did anything to any of his children or grandchildren. It was the main reason she hadn’t told Gray that Clint was his own nephew, and Phillip had agreed with her.
“And what about Jack? I made my own promise to him when we put Gray into cryogenic suspension. You’re asking me to choose between you and my mate, and you should know who will always come first with me.”
Every bit of anger left her in a rush, and the headache that began just behind her eyes was left in its place. Of course, that was exactly what she was asking him to do, and that was incredibly unfair of her to do that to him. “I’m sorry…”
“No…don’t be.” Ianto smiled softly at her. “I do understand what you’re asking, and I’ll be honest…I do agree with you. But I can’t do anything behind Jack’s back like that. I’ll talk to him about it tonight. Let him know what you want to do. And, if he agrees, then I’ll make that promise to you. Will that be alright?”
It really was more than fair. There was no way Samara would do anything to hurt either of her sons, and so she would accept what he was offering. “Yes, that’s fine.”
That capitulation earned her another smile, this one sweet. “Then I’ll speak with Jack when I get back home. I will let you know what I decide in the morning.”
Samara hugged him, feeling horribly guilty for what she’d tried to get him to do, and not considering Jack’s feelings in the matter. But she was Gray’s mother; she really should have final say on what was done with him, only she’d come up against a vow made thousands of years ago, and one that the dragon held far too dear to break.
“Did you know,” Ianto said, changing the subject, “that this park was the first one here on Hubworld? Jack had trees brought from Earth for it, as a gift to me.”
“My son truly loves you.”
“I know he does.” This smile was pleased. “Of course, there had to be some changes made in the trees’ genetic structure so they’d survive under Gliese’s red sun, but it was worth it. There’s power in these trees, even if it’s not quite what it had been back on Earth. You see, Jack had had them taken from a very magical place called Roundstone Wood, which had once been an area of tremendous power. The rest of the wood is still there, even though it’s not the same as it once was, what with the sea inundating Old Cardiff, but it was one of the last of the magical places before Merlin brought back magic to the universe.”
Samara wondered why Jack hadn’t taken trees from Ddraig Llyn, but didn’t ask. She was certain her son had good reason to.
Ianto glanced up at the trees. “Back before we retired, I came here when I wanted to Name dragon friends. The old magic is still here, and it witnesses the Naming, making it official.” He shrugged. “Of course, now that Jack and I live back on Earth, I do all my Naming in Ddraig Llyn, but this park served its purpose while he and I were here.” He chuckled. “There are even a couple of the Fae here, living among these ancient trees. I know Jack was a bit upset by that, but they only accompanied the trees that had been their home for more millennia than anyone can count.”
She’d been told the story of the Fae. Samara wasn’t certain that having them on Hubworld was such a good idea, and said so.
“Away from Earth, they have no real power over anyone,” he assured her. “They cannot take Chosen Ones or threaten Hubworld with destruction. Their Pacts won’t allow them to.”
“And we are content here, Ancient One.”
The sibilant voice caused Samara to jump, and it was only Ianto’s hand in hers that kept her in her seat.
Suddenly standing before them was a being that might have been green, but its skin was turned lurid by the red light from the sun dappling through the trees. It had gossamer wings, which kept it hovering over the ground with a sound like an insect’s buzzing. The large eyes were dark, and it had a mouthful of sharp teeth that were bared in a ghastly smile.
Ianto nodded. “I’m glad that’s so, Jasmine.”
The creature - the Fae - its name was Jasmine?
“You know if you and your cohort ever decide to return to Earth that I’ll make sure you get there.”
“We understand that, but this place is new, and magical, and we are thriving here even without any new Chosen Ones.” The Fae called Jasmine bowed. “And welcome, Mother of the Undying One. Your son once did us a service, and we have not yet been able to honour that debt. This promise also falls upon you.”
Samara didn’t know what to say about that, so she simply thanked Jasmine, inclining her head to the Fae.
The Fae nodded, and in a puff of flower petals was gone, the sweet scent of roses surrounding them and tickling Samara’s nose.
“Jasmine doesn’t always come out like that,” Ianto replied.
“Should I be honoured?”
He huffed a laugh. “With the Fae, you can never tell.” He got to his feet. “Let me take you back to Phillip and Clint’s home,” Ianto offered, still holding onto her hand. “They’re both quite worried about you.”
She let him pull her to her feet. “Thank you, for coming after me.” She did feel much lighter than before, even if nothing had really been settled.
“It was my pleasure.”
“You’re going to have to tell me just how you know that Fae’s name, though.”
Ianto shook his head. “It’s a long story, but I’m sure it can be arranged.”
He squeezed her hand, and then led her through the trees and back toward her family.