Feels Like I'm in Love (1/1)
Title: Feels Like I’m in Love
Author: office_bluth
Spoilers: There’s a tiny, tiny one, but it’s mentioned briefly in Remedial Chaos Theory, so if you’ve seen that, you won’t even notice it.
Rating/Warnings: PG. There’s one pretty suggestive scene; other than that, it’s pretty tame.
Word Count: 5705
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Community or anything associated with it. I do, however, own Inspector Spacetime. It’s true.
Summary: She’s getting bigger now, and they really can’t ignore it much longer. So one day, while they’re in one of their rare universal good moods and laughing over something that Todd did in biology class, Annie catches Jeff’s eye across the table.
Author’s Note: As always, thanks to the brilliant and wonderfully amazing jennynoname for being the best beta ever, being my best friend, and for suggesting the title. As you read this, keep in mind that all the scenes are out of order. Hopefully you can still make sense of it all. Enjoy! ☺
She starts showing when she’s almost five months along. Enough time has passed that they feel safe telling people - all their sonograms are looking good, and her doctor promises that she’s doing exceptionally well (because she’s Annie Edison, and unexpected pregnancy or not, she does everything exceptionally well, dammit). They could have told the group at any point after she entered her second trimester - they just chose not to.
But she’s getting bigger now, and they really can’t ignore it much longer. So one day, while they’re in one of their rare universal good moods and laughing over something that Todd did in biology class, Annie catches Jeff’s eye across the table. He nods. It’s time.
“Guys,” Annie says, “Jeff and I have something we want to tell you.”
Shirley makes a noise like she’s trying to dislodge something from her throat. “Don’t worry, we got it. You’re dating. We know.”
“No, it’s not that,” Annie says, grinning at Jeff. “Well, we are, but that’s not what we wanted to say.”
Troy goes pale. Abed nods supportively. Jeff clears his throat and takes Annie’s hand. “Annie’s pregnant. We’re - we’re having a baby.”
To be fair, the Dean later tells them that it’s not the biggest riot Greendale’s ever seen.
#
He touches her, his skin warm. Annie gasps, arching her back to bring him closer. “Jeff…” she moans, running his fingers through his hair to bring his head down, to get some kind of contact with his skin.
He kisses her, long and languid, one hand propping him up on the bed and the other drawing lazy lines across her skin. “I can’t believe we haven’t done this already,” he says, sounding half-dazed. “Why did we waste so much time?”
Annie giggles. “Because you saw me as a kid and, if I remember my reasoning correctly, you made one too many criticisms about the amount of bubblegum lip gloss I wear for me to forgive you long enough to actually sleep with you.”
“Ah, right.” Jeff grins at her, his usual cocky expression in place. “And may I just say, the amount of lip gloss you’re currently wearing is absolutely perfect.”
She smacks his back, right in between his shoulder blades. “I’m not wearing any, you ass,” she says, not sounding very angry at all. It’s kind of hard to, given what he’s just started doing to her neck. And the sinful rhythm in which he moves against her. He lifts his head just long enough to smirk at her, then continues his very thorough investigation of the smooth skin on her neck. When she comes, he starts laughing for some unknown reason.
She’s a little too preoccupied to properly admonish him, but as soon as Jeff collapses next to her, Annie pokes him hard in the ribs and tells him he’s a jerk.
This just makes him laugh again. When he finally calms himself down, he explains himself. “It just seems so funny. We’re doing this all wrong, aren’t we? It’s all completely backwards.”
When he puts it like that, it makes a lot of sense. And then Annie’s laughing, too. He joins in, and they spend the next ten or fifteen minutes in hysterics, tears streaming down their faces. Then Jeff rolls off the bed and Annie laughs even harder. Then she has to pee.
#
Annie’s getting bigger and bigger every single day. By the time she’s seven months along, she looks as if she’s five weeks overdue. Pierce suggests that perhaps the baby has inherited Jeff’s forehead. The father-to-be sulks in a dark corner of the library for the rest of the day.
Over the last few months, she’s slowly been moving her things into Jeff’s apartment. He has a spare room that he previously used to store his exercise equipment - now that room’s been painted a light shade of purple, with an oak rocking chair in one corner and a dresser against the wall, next to the door. In fact, they’ve gotten most of the necessary furniture. The only thing that’s missing is a crib. Annie can’t find one she likes, and Jeff’s secretly worried whichever one they choose will be too complicated for him to assemble. When she gets too big to tie her own shoes, Jeff suggests she moves in officially. That night, Troy and Abed throw her a goodbye party.
After four non-alcoholic drinks (two virgin margaritas, one Coke, and one glass of Special Drink on a dare), Troy and Abed present her with a giant basket, filled to the brim with diapers, toys, and clothing small enough for a newborn. Annie accepts it, tears glistening in her eyes. And then they open the door to their shared bedroom and show her the crib they found on Craig’s List and have spent the last two weeks fixing up.
Then she starts sobbing and hugs them both, lamenting over and over how much she wishes she were having a boy so she could name him Trobed.
#
“What about Claire?” she asks, flipping through her book. “Or Madeline? I think Maddie’s cute, don’t you?”
Jeff grunts. Annie glances at him, her eyes concerned. “What’s the matter?”
He shrugs. “Nothing. Nothing’s the matter.” Then he drops his head and busies himself with a month-old TV Guide. Annie reaches over and pulls the magazine away.
“Come on, Winger,” she says. “You’ve been acting weird ever since the baby shower. And you’ve spent the last eight months badgering me about baby names - I finally want to start looking and suddenly you’re not interested? Will you please just talk to me and tell me what’s wrong?”
“Annie,” Jeff says seriously, “nothing is wrong. Okay?” He reaches over and grabs the magazine back from her.
Annie sighs but decides to drop the conversation. She turns back to her baby names book and thumbs through the pages, silent for a few minutes as she reads the suggestions. Then, finally, she turns back to Jeff. “What do you think of the name Ellie? Or maybe that could be her nickname. Maybe…Elizabeth Winger. But what would the middle name be?”
She bites her lip, looking through the book for a potential middle name. Jeff’s gone still.
“Elizabeth Winger,” he repeats. “You - you want her last name to be Winger?”
Annie barely glances at him. “Duh,” she says, as if this was some obvious fact. Then she pauses, realizing what’s going on. Delicately, she sets the book on the coffee table. “I know that things are a bit…unconventional,” she says in the world’s biggest understatement. “And I’d understand if - you know, if you didn’t want her to have your last name. But you’re her father, and I want her to have her father’s last name. If that’s okay with you.”
For a moment, Jeff forgets how to speak. “Of course it is,” he says finally, swallowing hard. “I’d love for her to have my last name.”
Annie beams at him. “Okay,” she says. “So what do you think of Elizabeth?”
Jeff thinks it over, his usual excitement over baby-related matters rapidly coming back. “I like it,” he says carefully, “but if she has my last name, then her initials would be EW.”
His heavily pregnant girlfriend wrinkles her nose. “Oh, gross,” she says. “Okay, all E names are officially off the table.” She shakes her head and turns back to her book, drawing a large X over all the E pages with a Sharpie pulled seemingly out of nowhere.
Jeff studies her for a moment, watching as her face shifts whenever she finds a name she has some kind of strong opinion about. “Thank you,” he says when enough time has passed that Annie’s almost completely forgotten their previous conversation.
She looks up at him, her confusion evident. “Hm? For what?”
He shrugs. “Like you said, this isn’t exactly…conventional. And I know I’m - Well, I’m not exactly every girl’s ideal, I don’t think. Thank you for trusting me, and not getting fed up with me, and…”
Annie tentatively places her hand over his. She doesn’t say anything, just lets him get out exactly what he needs to get out. “I just - I don’t know.” Jeff shakes his head. “I’ve been getting scared lately. This is weird, you know? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier. But it’s definitely a weird situation. I think that’s safe to say, right?” He nervously glances at her.
“I’d say so,” she says softly.
For whatever reason, this relaxes him for a moment. Then he’s off, speaking faster than she’s ever heard. “Right? Yeah. And I just…I’ve been getting a little freaked out that, you know, what if she doesn’t think I’m her dad. Or what if she doesn’t like me, and we don’t connect, and we have that thing where she cries every time I hold her, but as soon as she’s with you, she calms down. And how much would that suck? My own daughter wouldn’t want me to hold her. And why would she? It’s not like I’m really -”
“Jeff,” Annie cuts him off sharply. “Stop. I know you’re scared. I’m scared, too. This is huge. And I know you didn’t exactly sign up for this, but you don’t need to thank me for anything. If anything, I need to thank you.” She threads her fingers through his, caressing his palm with her thumb. “I was beyond terrified, Jeff, and you made it all okay. You’ve always taken care of me, and I know you’re going to be an amazing father. She’s gonna love you. You’re going to connect with her, I swear.”
He’s shaking his head before she’s even finished. “That’s so easy to say, Annie, but it doesn’t always work like that. I mean, remember the kicking? She wouldn’t kick for me.”
“Jeff,” Annie says as patiently as she can, “she kicked once. One tiny little time, and she stopped by the time I found you. The very next time she kicked, you were there. Remember?” He mutters something that sounds like assent under his breath. She leans forward and gently kisses him, just in front of his ear. “It’s okay if you’re scared,” she says softly. “But I’m here for you, I promise. And as soon as you see her, you’re going to forget ever being scared about all this.”
He doesn’t see anything, but he seems to soften. Annie takes this as an invitation to ask her question again. “So is that what’s been bothering you? Why you were so weird the day of the baby shower?”
Jeff’s cheeks redden. “Yeah,” he admits. “It just seemed so…real. Like, all of a sudden, everyone was celebrating the fact that we’re gonna be parents soon, and I just didn’t feel like a dad. And - I don’t know. I just didn’t know how to deal with that.”
Annie studies him for a moment, biting her lip as she thinks. Then she hands him the baby names book, her Sharpie, and a pad of paper. “Here,” she says. “You pick. Nothing’s going to connect you with our daughter more than picking her name, right? So go for it - pick her name.”
Jeff stares at her like she’s insane. He doesn’t take the objects from her. “Are you serious?”
“Yup.” Annie waves the book at him, trying to force him to take it. “I want you to name her. So come on. Pick something good.”
An hour later, Jeff’s picked a name. Annie cries when she hears it, because she doesn’t know how to do anything else these days.
#
They decided they’re not going to find out the sex of the baby until it starts kicking. Neither of them is entirely sure why they decide this; it just seems right, for some reason.
Annie’s exactly twenty weeks and three days along when she first feels it kick. She’s in the process of handing in a literature exam when she feels a weird fluttering in her stomach. As soon as she places a hand on her belly, she realizes what’s happening. Her mouth drops in surprise, then she immediately turns and sprints out of the room to go find Jeff.
It doesn’t surprise her to see him lurking in the hallway outside her classroom, checking his Blackberry. For the last few weeks, he’s been insistent on walking her to all her classes. Of course, he’s trying not to be too obvious about it - he always just happens to bump into her and hey, since he’s found her, how about he walks with her and carries her books?
“Jeff!” Annie calls, running over to him. He freezes, then quickly shoves his phone into his pocket.
“Annie!” he says with false cheer. “It’s so weird that I ran into you out here! I wasn’t waiting for you, or anything! But since you’re here, do you want to -”
Annie silences him with a kiss. “Shut up,” she says. “For the first time ever, I’m grateful that you insist on stalking me to all my classes. Feel! The baby started kicking!”
“Really?” Immediately, Jeff drops his books and places both hands on her stomach. They’re quiet for a moment as Jeff feels. “I - I don’t feel anything.”
“Oh.” Annie places a hand on her stomach, frowning when she realizes the sensation has stopped. “That’s so weird. It was just doing it a minute ago. I’m sure it’ll start again soon.”
Five minutes later, Jeff still hasn’t felt anything. “Forget it,” he says, dropping his hands with a sigh. “It’s not gonna kick for me. Let’s just go to biology.”
He picks up his books, then wordlessly takes Annie’s from her. As usual, she slides her arm through his, though she can feel him tense. They walk in silence most of the way, Jeff glowering silently and Annie wondering what, exactly, to say to make him feel better.
“It was really subtle,” she says finally. “It wasn’t a big kick, or anything. I doubt I would have felt it if it wasn’t, you know, inside of me.” Jeff scoffs at this.
“No, seriously!” she insists, clutching his arm. “It was so soft, Jeff. Give it a few weeks. The baby’ll get stronger, and the kicks will get a lot bigger, and you’ll be able to feel it. I promise.”
Then he turns to her. “It won’t kick for me,” he says, his eyes looking empty. “Why won’t it kick for me, Annie?”
She doubts he’s heard a word she’s just said. But she takes his hand and kisses his knuckles, knowing exactly the source of his insecurity. “It will,” she promises. “Just give it time.”
Four days later, they’re sitting on Jeff’s couch, his head in her lap as he reads a book. The baby kicks him in the head. He cries.
#
Jeff knocks on the door once, then immediately calls out, “Annie? Are you home? I need to talk to you.”
The door opens - and Annie’s not standing on the other side. Abed squints at Jeff, his grip tight on the doorknob. “Jeff. Is this the famous third-act declaration of love?”
Jeff sighs. There’s really no reason to bother anymore. “Whatever, Abed,” he says. “Is Annie here?”
Abed’s eyes widen a fraction of an inch. Then he almost imperceptibly tilts his chin upwards. “In her room,” he says. “Just knock on her door. She’s very serious about the knocking policy.”
Really, he doesn’t want to know. “Great,” Jeff says, stepping into the apartment and clapping his friend on the back. Troy turns around from his place in his giant chair, an almost comically large bowl of cereal balanced precariously on his crossed knees.
“Hey, Jeff,” Troy says, waving. Jeff lazily lifts his hand in return. Abed sits in the chair next to Troy’s, his gaze never wavering from Jeff.
The former lawyer knocks on Annie’s door, taking a steadying breath. The brunette opens the door, saying something about, “Thank you for respecting the knocking policy, Abed. See? Isn’t that just so much easier for everyone?”
Whatever she was going to say next dies in her throat when she comprehends who’s standing in front of her. “Uh,” she says. “Hi, Jeff.”
“Hi,” he says. “Can we talk?”
Silence.
Annie glances at her roommates, who aren’t even pretending to be absorbed in the television. They’ve turned in their chairs, staring wide-eyed at Jeff and Annie.
“Can I come in?” Jeff asks quickly. “I think this might go a little better without Statler and Waldorf staring at us.”
“Sure,” Annie says, stepping aside to let him in. Troy and Abed exchange glances - the latter wiggles his eyebrows.
“Now this is gonna be interesting.”
#
She tells him everything. All of it. And she breaks down crying somewhere in the middle, her sobs making it almost impossible to decipher. But he does, somehow. He sits with her and holds her hand while she cries, and when she says it, the worst possible thing she thinks she’ll ever say to him, he closes his eyes and breathes. He just breathes.
It seems like years before he opens his eyes again. And when he does, he squeezes her hand. “It took me a long time to get here,” he says, his voice much tighter than usual, “but I’m here now. And I’m happy. So - okay, yeah, we didn’t expect this. But I’m not going anywhere. Okay? I’m going to be here for you, and - and I love you, and - and I’m just not gonna leave you. So.”
He stops himself awkwardly. “So, yeah,” he says.
This just makes Annie cry harder. When she finally, finally stops, she kisses him hard and whispers over and over how sorry she is. That he doesn’t need to do this. That, really, she understands if he wants out, and she doesn’t blame him in the slightest. That she loves him but she’s not going to trap him.
But then Jeff holds her tight and tells her he means it, that he’s not going to be his father, that he loves her and would never let her down like this. Annie cries again, then takes his hand.
“You’re the father,” she says. “This is our baby. We’re gonna be a family. Thank you, Jeff. Thank you.”
And then they spend the rest of the night on his couch, holding each other tight and staying completely silent.
#
She sits motionless on the toilet, her hands trembling. No - everything is trembling. How could this have happened? How could perfect, responsible, safe little Annie have made a mistake as big as this?
The shoplifted box lays discarded at her feet. The tiny piece of plastic it once held is propped up on Annie’s knees, barely staying in place as her whole body erupts in tremors. This can’t be. Things had been going so well - she and Jeff finally, finally were on the same page. The study group was in balance again. She was acing all her classes. An unexpected, unwanted pregnancy was not even close to being the cherry on top.
Jeff. Oh, God. It’s only been a month. Four weeks. Four weeks of going slow, being careful not to make labels and create pressure for themselves. Stolen kisses in supply closets, sleepovers that didn’t involve much sleep (but usually never more than long, lazy kisses while they cuddled under the sheets. Usually). It’s too soon for this. It’s way too soon.
And it’s Jeff - he panics at the first sight of danger of commitment or anything too big. And this? This is huge. He could never - She swallows hard as she tries to finish that sentence. He could never accept all of this. Forgive her.
But he has to know. It’s only right. At least, she thinks so. So, with her hands still shaking and a throat so dry it hurts, Annie gathers her belongings, throws out the stolen pregnancy test, and walks to her car. She’s going to tell Jeff Winger that she’s pregnant, and dammit, no one can stop her.
#
They decide not to tell the group right away. Annie’s heard that you shouldn’t announce pregnancies until you’re in your second trimester, and besides, they’re still not totally sure the group knows they’re together. Troy and Abed know, of course, but no one else has confirmation. They’re not exactly hiding it - they no longer hide their long glances across the study room table, and most of the time, they walk hand-in-hand through the hallways. But even if the group does know that they’re dating, news of the baby is just so much bigger. So they decide to wait for a few months and come up with a plan when the time comes.
Of course, this would be a foolproof plan if Annie didn’t live with two members of their study group.
Her morning sickness always seems to occur at eight PM, right when Troy and Abed sit down to watch the syndicated episodes of Inspector Spacetime on BBC America. After three days of hearing her sprint into the bathroom, then Jeff following a minute later, Troy decides to see what’s going on.
He knocks at the door at the same time that he calls, “Annie? Are you okay?”
The door cracks. Only Jeff’s left eye is visible. “Annie’s fine,” he says before he starts to close the door again.
“Wait!” Troy puts his hand out, trying to keep the door in place. “She’s been sick for, like, three days now. Are you sure she’s okay? What if she infects all of us?”
He gasps. Suddenly, this just became terrifying. “Oh, no,” he murmurs. “Oh, no, oh, no, no. Okay. We’re gonna have to evacuate. No! No time! We’re under quarantine!” He turns to his best friend. “ABED! Quarantine!”
Abed barely reacts. He reaches over, feels around underneath his chair, and emerges with a gas mask. “Got it,” he says before slipping it over his head. Once it’s secure, he goes back to Inspector Spacetime, happily humming along to the theme song.
In his disgust and, well, a little fascination, Jeff lets the door open wider. Troy sees Annie kneeling in front of the toilet, her long hair gathered in a messy ponytail on the side of her head. Troy frowns.
“Dude,” he says quietly so she can’t hear. “Seriously. What’s going on?”
Jeff glances at Annie, then hesitates. “She’s - sick,” he says. “Some kind of stomach thing . Yeah. She’s fine, though. Don’t worry. Or think too much about it.”
Troy eyes Jeff. “Look, man. I know you think I’m not capable of handling stuff like this, but I totally am. So come on. What’s going on?”
“Troy.” The door opens wider, and suddenly Annie’s standing next to Jeff, her hand on his arm. “Look - we weren’t gonna tell anyone, but if we’re living together, it’s gonna be hard to keep this from you and Abed. So I’m gonna tell you the truth, but you can’t freak out, okay? And you can’t tell anyone.”
Troy nods fervently, moving his finger over his heart. “Cross my heart.”
Annie takes a deep breath and tells him.
He freaks out.
#
When she’s eight months pregnant, the group throws them a baby shower. Annie cries, because that seems to be her reaction to everything these days. The silly, clichéd baby shower games make her cry. The cake makes her cry. And the presents make her sob.
Because of the sheer volume of tears she’s been releasing the whole night, she hasn’t noticed Jeff’s uncharacteristic stiffness. Having a baby on the way hasn’t really changed him much - he’s still the same conniving asshole he’s always been, except when it comes to Annie and the baby. Normally, he’d be beside himself with excitement as they unwrap toys and clothes. But tonight, he’s just quiet. He half-heartedly plays the game where they have to cut a ribbon that they think will go around Annie’s stomach. He barely even looks up to accept a piece of cake from Shirley.
When they get home, Annie excitedly starts folding all the new clothes and putting them away in the baby’s dresser. Jeff abruptly announces he’s going to bed and slams the door shut.
#
Shirley and Britta come around eventually. Annie wins Britta over by reminding the blonde of all the blankets and little hats she’ll get to knit the baby, and Shirley perks up once she realizes this baby will be tiny, adorable, squishable, and, most importantly, in desperate need of spiritual guidance. She quickly volunteers to serve as godmother. Annie and Jeff just kind of look at each other and shrug.
Pierce comes to Jeff’s apartment three days after they tell the group and wordlessly hands him a check. Jeff invites the older man inside and they spend the night drinking scotch and discussing their own fathers. It’s the first time Jeff’s ever admitted his own doubts about becoming a parent.
Two hours after Pierce falls asleep, snoring louder than Jeff had thought was humanly possible, Annie lets herself in using her brand new key. Jeff waves to her, staring blankly at the dark television. Annie giggles when she sees them. “Did you boys have a fun night?”
“Uh-huh,” Jeff says, placing his glass on the coffee table. Then he gets up and kisses Annie hello, lingering just a little too long. But Annie’s still giggling when he pulls away, his breath hot and bitter on her skin.
“Hi,” he says, grinning widely.
“Hi,” Annie says, returning the smile. No one says anything for a long time. Then, finally, she asks, “What did you and Pierce talk about?”
Jeff doesn’t answer right away. He’s too busy moving his hand around her stomach, gently tracing the swollen skin. “Our dads,” he says, his voice a little rougher than usual in his intoxication. “How we grew up without them. All that fun stuff.”
Annie watches his face as he speaks, knowing what he really means. “You know,” she says quietly, threading her fingers through hers and removing it from her belly, “I bet that in, like, twenty-five years, our baby’s gonna be up really late one night, drinking scotch with his - or her - older friend from community college, and talking about how he or she had the most awesome dad ever. Who…taught him or her how to throw a baseball and how to drive a car and how to talk his or her way out of ever doing his or her own work.”
Jeff chuckles. “Our kid’s never gonna go to community college. Our kid’s gonna go to Princeton. Or Harvard. Or Yale.”
Annie’s breath catches in her throat. “Yale. That’s - that’s where I wanted to go. Before, you know, I ran through a glass window and dropped out of high school and got my GED in rehab.”
“I think,” Jeff says carefully, “our kid’s gonna be awesome. Because we’re gonna tell him about all of our mistakes, and he’s never, ever going to do what we did. Our kid’s gonna be valedictorian and go to Yale and get into law school - a real one. Columbia, probably. And he’s never going to know what it feels like to have ruined your own life. And he’s always gonna know what it feels like to be loved.”
Annie just looks at him, her fingers gently caressing his cheek. “And most of all,” she says, “our baby - please stop referring to him or her as ‘him’ - is gonna get to hear his or her dad deliver awesome, uplifting speeches, like, every single day.”
He wraps his arms around her and pulls her tight, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. They stand like that for a while, their eyes closed and breathing deep, content in each other’s presence. And then Pierce wakes up and ruins everything by farting and trying to blame it on the chair.
#
Two weeks after the baby first kicks, they go for a sonogram and finally, finally ask what the sex is. It’s a girl.
Jeff cries again.
#
Jeff paces around the room, wringing his hands incessantly. Annie perches on her bed, watching him uneasily. After about five minutes of silence, she’s finally had enough. “Okay,” she says. “So what’s up?”
“What’s up,” Jeff repeats, taking a deep breath. “I - okay, here’s the thing, Annie.” He blows out a sigh that sounds like it may have been painful, then runs a hand through his hair. “Okay. So what I came here to say is that -”
“Jeff,” Annie interrupts gently, “you’re literally not saying anything. Can you please just tell me why you’re here?”
Suddenly, he bends forward, his back perfectly straight, and kisses her gently. When he pulls away after just a few moments, he very calmly says, “I’m here because I’m in love with you and I got tired of pretending otherwise.”
Annie lets this sink in. For approximately seven-point-three seconds, she sits quietly. Then she grabs him around the neck and pulls his face towards hers, covering his face - but mostly his lips - with kisses. “You - stupid - ass,” she scolds in the brief moments her lips aren’t making contact with his. “You couldn’t have gotten fed up any earlier than this? It took you this long?”
Jeff gently covers her hands with his and removes them from their loose position around his neck. Then he kisses her, this time with much more aggression. “What can I say,” he says when he comes up for air. “I just needed you to know. And now you do. And now I’m gonna kiss you. Because I’m really, really tired of not doing that.”
And then he lowers his mouth to hers and does exactly that.
#
When she goes into labor, Jeff’s in the living room, cursing under his breath as he tries to put together the bouncy seat Shirley bought them. Her water breaks all over their bedroom floor. Annie makes a mental note not to tell Jeff about that until much, much later, preferably when his newborn daughter is actually in his arms.
He drives her to the hospital in under ten minutes. It’s pretty impressive, considering he does it one-handed. His right hand is clamped in Annie’s the entire journey, his bones grinding together as she grits her teeth and mutters expletives under her breath. Jeff didn’t even know Annie could curse like that. By minute six, he’s gone from pleasantly surprised to a bit offended. He wants to threaten her with a swear jar, but he thinks he might lose his man parts if he does so.
Sixteen hours later, he’s holding his daughter in his arms as the members of the study group knock tentatively on the door. Jeff quietly opens it, warning everyone not to be too loud, in case they wake up Annie. Of course, she wakes up anyway. The group somehow manages to find enough chairs to accommodate them all, and they gather around the bed. Jeff sits at the foot of the bed, holding his daughter while Annie talks about epidurals with Shirley. Every so often, Annie’s gaze drifts over to Jeff and their baby. He always seems to be able to tell when she’s looking at them.
Whenever their eyes lock, Jeff feels himself breaking out in the biggest, stupidest grin possible. He’s been a father for all of two hours, and he’s already become a softie.
The group quietly excuse themselves after about an hour, everyone promising to come back tomorrow. Jeff sees them out, having handed the baby over to her mother. When they’re finally, finally alone, he settles in next to Annie, wrapping his arm around her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, both of them staring into their daughter’s big blue eyes.
He doesn’t cry. Not once during the delivery (except for one time when Annie squeezed his hand so hard, he genuinely thought she had broken every single bone. A tear or two may have escaped then). Not even when a nurse comes in and performs a demonstration of how to properly change a diaper. Jeff doesn’t shed a single tear until some member of the hospital staff walks in and hands Annie their daughter’s birth certificate. She doesn’t even hesitate as she writes in Jeff’s name. Jeff takes it from her as soon as she’s finished to read it. It’s official - Charlotte Grace Winger, born August 11th, 2012.
That’s when he starts crying.
#
The night before Jeff drives all the way over to Annie’s new apartment with Troy and Abed and tells her he can’t stand it anymore, he needs her to know that he loves her, she gets really, really drunk.
The thing is, she’s twenty-one years old and has only been drunk once. And technically, that was as Caroline Decker, so she doesn’t even count it. So she goes out with her new roommates, who quickly develop a drinking game involving a shot every time the big-haired woman on the barstool next to Abed laughs and flips her hair while talking to the creepy mustachioed guy next to her.
Needless to say, they get pretty hammered.
So Annie winds up standing by herself, nursing a gin and tonic, when this guy comes up to her. Unfortunately, that’s as detailed as he ever was - some guy. That’s all she remembers about him the next morning when she wakes up in a strange bed with an arm loosely thrown over her hips.
It takes all of two seconds for the guilt and shock to hit her. Four seconds after that, her hangover hits. She groans, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes, but that only makes it worse. Then the anonymous guy in bed next to her grunts and sort of shifts closer to her. Annie panics and does the only acceptable thing: she jumps out of bed, gets dressed, and leaves as quietly as possible.
Later that day, Annie’s gained herself a boyfriend, and she forgets all about the guy whose name she never learned and whose face she quickly forgot.
Author: office_bluth
Spoilers: There’s a tiny, tiny one, but it’s mentioned briefly in Remedial Chaos Theory, so if you’ve seen that, you won’t even notice it.
Rating/Warnings: PG. There’s one pretty suggestive scene; other than that, it’s pretty tame.
Word Count: 5705
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Community or anything associated with it. I do, however, own Inspector Spacetime. It’s true.
Summary: She’s getting bigger now, and they really can’t ignore it much longer. So one day, while they’re in one of their rare universal good moods and laughing over something that Todd did in biology class, Annie catches Jeff’s eye across the table.
Author’s Note: As always, thanks to the brilliant and wonderfully amazing jennynoname for being the best beta ever, being my best friend, and for suggesting the title. As you read this, keep in mind that all the scenes are out of order. Hopefully you can still make sense of it all. Enjoy! ☺
She starts showing when she’s almost five months along. Enough time has passed that they feel safe telling people - all their sonograms are looking good, and her doctor promises that she’s doing exceptionally well (because she’s Annie Edison, and unexpected pregnancy or not, she does everything exceptionally well, dammit). They could have told the group at any point after she entered her second trimester - they just chose not to.
But she’s getting bigger now, and they really can’t ignore it much longer. So one day, while they’re in one of their rare universal good moods and laughing over something that Todd did in biology class, Annie catches Jeff’s eye across the table. He nods. It’s time.
“Guys,” Annie says, “Jeff and I have something we want to tell you.”
Shirley makes a noise like she’s trying to dislodge something from her throat. “Don’t worry, we got it. You’re dating. We know.”
“No, it’s not that,” Annie says, grinning at Jeff. “Well, we are, but that’s not what we wanted to say.”
Troy goes pale. Abed nods supportively. Jeff clears his throat and takes Annie’s hand. “Annie’s pregnant. We’re - we’re having a baby.”
To be fair, the Dean later tells them that it’s not the biggest riot Greendale’s ever seen.
#
He touches her, his skin warm. Annie gasps, arching her back to bring him closer. “Jeff…” she moans, running his fingers through his hair to bring his head down, to get some kind of contact with his skin.
He kisses her, long and languid, one hand propping him up on the bed and the other drawing lazy lines across her skin. “I can’t believe we haven’t done this already,” he says, sounding half-dazed. “Why did we waste so much time?”
Annie giggles. “Because you saw me as a kid and, if I remember my reasoning correctly, you made one too many criticisms about the amount of bubblegum lip gloss I wear for me to forgive you long enough to actually sleep with you.”
“Ah, right.” Jeff grins at her, his usual cocky expression in place. “And may I just say, the amount of lip gloss you’re currently wearing is absolutely perfect.”
She smacks his back, right in between his shoulder blades. “I’m not wearing any, you ass,” she says, not sounding very angry at all. It’s kind of hard to, given what he’s just started doing to her neck. And the sinful rhythm in which he moves against her. He lifts his head just long enough to smirk at her, then continues his very thorough investigation of the smooth skin on her neck. When she comes, he starts laughing for some unknown reason.
She’s a little too preoccupied to properly admonish him, but as soon as Jeff collapses next to her, Annie pokes him hard in the ribs and tells him he’s a jerk.
This just makes him laugh again. When he finally calms himself down, he explains himself. “It just seems so funny. We’re doing this all wrong, aren’t we? It’s all completely backwards.”
When he puts it like that, it makes a lot of sense. And then Annie’s laughing, too. He joins in, and they spend the next ten or fifteen minutes in hysterics, tears streaming down their faces. Then Jeff rolls off the bed and Annie laughs even harder. Then she has to pee.
#
Annie’s getting bigger and bigger every single day. By the time she’s seven months along, she looks as if she’s five weeks overdue. Pierce suggests that perhaps the baby has inherited Jeff’s forehead. The father-to-be sulks in a dark corner of the library for the rest of the day.
Over the last few months, she’s slowly been moving her things into Jeff’s apartment. He has a spare room that he previously used to store his exercise equipment - now that room’s been painted a light shade of purple, with an oak rocking chair in one corner and a dresser against the wall, next to the door. In fact, they’ve gotten most of the necessary furniture. The only thing that’s missing is a crib. Annie can’t find one she likes, and Jeff’s secretly worried whichever one they choose will be too complicated for him to assemble. When she gets too big to tie her own shoes, Jeff suggests she moves in officially. That night, Troy and Abed throw her a goodbye party.
After four non-alcoholic drinks (two virgin margaritas, one Coke, and one glass of Special Drink on a dare), Troy and Abed present her with a giant basket, filled to the brim with diapers, toys, and clothing small enough for a newborn. Annie accepts it, tears glistening in her eyes. And then they open the door to their shared bedroom and show her the crib they found on Craig’s List and have spent the last two weeks fixing up.
Then she starts sobbing and hugs them both, lamenting over and over how much she wishes she were having a boy so she could name him Trobed.
#
“What about Claire?” she asks, flipping through her book. “Or Madeline? I think Maddie’s cute, don’t you?”
Jeff grunts. Annie glances at him, her eyes concerned. “What’s the matter?”
He shrugs. “Nothing. Nothing’s the matter.” Then he drops his head and busies himself with a month-old TV Guide. Annie reaches over and pulls the magazine away.
“Come on, Winger,” she says. “You’ve been acting weird ever since the baby shower. And you’ve spent the last eight months badgering me about baby names - I finally want to start looking and suddenly you’re not interested? Will you please just talk to me and tell me what’s wrong?”
“Annie,” Jeff says seriously, “nothing is wrong. Okay?” He reaches over and grabs the magazine back from her.
Annie sighs but decides to drop the conversation. She turns back to her baby names book and thumbs through the pages, silent for a few minutes as she reads the suggestions. Then, finally, she turns back to Jeff. “What do you think of the name Ellie? Or maybe that could be her nickname. Maybe…Elizabeth Winger. But what would the middle name be?”
She bites her lip, looking through the book for a potential middle name. Jeff’s gone still.
“Elizabeth Winger,” he repeats. “You - you want her last name to be Winger?”
Annie barely glances at him. “Duh,” she says, as if this was some obvious fact. Then she pauses, realizing what’s going on. Delicately, she sets the book on the coffee table. “I know that things are a bit…unconventional,” she says in the world’s biggest understatement. “And I’d understand if - you know, if you didn’t want her to have your last name. But you’re her father, and I want her to have her father’s last name. If that’s okay with you.”
For a moment, Jeff forgets how to speak. “Of course it is,” he says finally, swallowing hard. “I’d love for her to have my last name.”
Annie beams at him. “Okay,” she says. “So what do you think of Elizabeth?”
Jeff thinks it over, his usual excitement over baby-related matters rapidly coming back. “I like it,” he says carefully, “but if she has my last name, then her initials would be EW.”
His heavily pregnant girlfriend wrinkles her nose. “Oh, gross,” she says. “Okay, all E names are officially off the table.” She shakes her head and turns back to her book, drawing a large X over all the E pages with a Sharpie pulled seemingly out of nowhere.
Jeff studies her for a moment, watching as her face shifts whenever she finds a name she has some kind of strong opinion about. “Thank you,” he says when enough time has passed that Annie’s almost completely forgotten their previous conversation.
She looks up at him, her confusion evident. “Hm? For what?”
He shrugs. “Like you said, this isn’t exactly…conventional. And I know I’m - Well, I’m not exactly every girl’s ideal, I don’t think. Thank you for trusting me, and not getting fed up with me, and…”
Annie tentatively places her hand over his. She doesn’t say anything, just lets him get out exactly what he needs to get out. “I just - I don’t know.” Jeff shakes his head. “I’ve been getting scared lately. This is weird, you know? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier. But it’s definitely a weird situation. I think that’s safe to say, right?” He nervously glances at her.
“I’d say so,” she says softly.
For whatever reason, this relaxes him for a moment. Then he’s off, speaking faster than she’s ever heard. “Right? Yeah. And I just…I’ve been getting a little freaked out that, you know, what if she doesn’t think I’m her dad. Or what if she doesn’t like me, and we don’t connect, and we have that thing where she cries every time I hold her, but as soon as she’s with you, she calms down. And how much would that suck? My own daughter wouldn’t want me to hold her. And why would she? It’s not like I’m really -”
“Jeff,” Annie cuts him off sharply. “Stop. I know you’re scared. I’m scared, too. This is huge. And I know you didn’t exactly sign up for this, but you don’t need to thank me for anything. If anything, I need to thank you.” She threads her fingers through his, caressing his palm with her thumb. “I was beyond terrified, Jeff, and you made it all okay. You’ve always taken care of me, and I know you’re going to be an amazing father. She’s gonna love you. You’re going to connect with her, I swear.”
He’s shaking his head before she’s even finished. “That’s so easy to say, Annie, but it doesn’t always work like that. I mean, remember the kicking? She wouldn’t kick for me.”
“Jeff,” Annie says as patiently as she can, “she kicked once. One tiny little time, and she stopped by the time I found you. The very next time she kicked, you were there. Remember?” He mutters something that sounds like assent under his breath. She leans forward and gently kisses him, just in front of his ear. “It’s okay if you’re scared,” she says softly. “But I’m here for you, I promise. And as soon as you see her, you’re going to forget ever being scared about all this.”
He doesn’t see anything, but he seems to soften. Annie takes this as an invitation to ask her question again. “So is that what’s been bothering you? Why you were so weird the day of the baby shower?”
Jeff’s cheeks redden. “Yeah,” he admits. “It just seemed so…real. Like, all of a sudden, everyone was celebrating the fact that we’re gonna be parents soon, and I just didn’t feel like a dad. And - I don’t know. I just didn’t know how to deal with that.”
Annie studies him for a moment, biting her lip as she thinks. Then she hands him the baby names book, her Sharpie, and a pad of paper. “Here,” she says. “You pick. Nothing’s going to connect you with our daughter more than picking her name, right? So go for it - pick her name.”
Jeff stares at her like she’s insane. He doesn’t take the objects from her. “Are you serious?”
“Yup.” Annie waves the book at him, trying to force him to take it. “I want you to name her. So come on. Pick something good.”
An hour later, Jeff’s picked a name. Annie cries when she hears it, because she doesn’t know how to do anything else these days.
#
They decided they’re not going to find out the sex of the baby until it starts kicking. Neither of them is entirely sure why they decide this; it just seems right, for some reason.
Annie’s exactly twenty weeks and three days along when she first feels it kick. She’s in the process of handing in a literature exam when she feels a weird fluttering in her stomach. As soon as she places a hand on her belly, she realizes what’s happening. Her mouth drops in surprise, then she immediately turns and sprints out of the room to go find Jeff.
It doesn’t surprise her to see him lurking in the hallway outside her classroom, checking his Blackberry. For the last few weeks, he’s been insistent on walking her to all her classes. Of course, he’s trying not to be too obvious about it - he always just happens to bump into her and hey, since he’s found her, how about he walks with her and carries her books?
“Jeff!” Annie calls, running over to him. He freezes, then quickly shoves his phone into his pocket.
“Annie!” he says with false cheer. “It’s so weird that I ran into you out here! I wasn’t waiting for you, or anything! But since you’re here, do you want to -”
Annie silences him with a kiss. “Shut up,” she says. “For the first time ever, I’m grateful that you insist on stalking me to all my classes. Feel! The baby started kicking!”
“Really?” Immediately, Jeff drops his books and places both hands on her stomach. They’re quiet for a moment as Jeff feels. “I - I don’t feel anything.”
“Oh.” Annie places a hand on her stomach, frowning when she realizes the sensation has stopped. “That’s so weird. It was just doing it a minute ago. I’m sure it’ll start again soon.”
Five minutes later, Jeff still hasn’t felt anything. “Forget it,” he says, dropping his hands with a sigh. “It’s not gonna kick for me. Let’s just go to biology.”
He picks up his books, then wordlessly takes Annie’s from her. As usual, she slides her arm through his, though she can feel him tense. They walk in silence most of the way, Jeff glowering silently and Annie wondering what, exactly, to say to make him feel better.
“It was really subtle,” she says finally. “It wasn’t a big kick, or anything. I doubt I would have felt it if it wasn’t, you know, inside of me.” Jeff scoffs at this.
“No, seriously!” she insists, clutching his arm. “It was so soft, Jeff. Give it a few weeks. The baby’ll get stronger, and the kicks will get a lot bigger, and you’ll be able to feel it. I promise.”
Then he turns to her. “It won’t kick for me,” he says, his eyes looking empty. “Why won’t it kick for me, Annie?”
She doubts he’s heard a word she’s just said. But she takes his hand and kisses his knuckles, knowing exactly the source of his insecurity. “It will,” she promises. “Just give it time.”
Four days later, they’re sitting on Jeff’s couch, his head in her lap as he reads a book. The baby kicks him in the head. He cries.
#
Jeff knocks on the door once, then immediately calls out, “Annie? Are you home? I need to talk to you.”
The door opens - and Annie’s not standing on the other side. Abed squints at Jeff, his grip tight on the doorknob. “Jeff. Is this the famous third-act declaration of love?”
Jeff sighs. There’s really no reason to bother anymore. “Whatever, Abed,” he says. “Is Annie here?”
Abed’s eyes widen a fraction of an inch. Then he almost imperceptibly tilts his chin upwards. “In her room,” he says. “Just knock on her door. She’s very serious about the knocking policy.”
Really, he doesn’t want to know. “Great,” Jeff says, stepping into the apartment and clapping his friend on the back. Troy turns around from his place in his giant chair, an almost comically large bowl of cereal balanced precariously on his crossed knees.
“Hey, Jeff,” Troy says, waving. Jeff lazily lifts his hand in return. Abed sits in the chair next to Troy’s, his gaze never wavering from Jeff.
The former lawyer knocks on Annie’s door, taking a steadying breath. The brunette opens the door, saying something about, “Thank you for respecting the knocking policy, Abed. See? Isn’t that just so much easier for everyone?”
Whatever she was going to say next dies in her throat when she comprehends who’s standing in front of her. “Uh,” she says. “Hi, Jeff.”
“Hi,” he says. “Can we talk?”
Silence.
Annie glances at her roommates, who aren’t even pretending to be absorbed in the television. They’ve turned in their chairs, staring wide-eyed at Jeff and Annie.
“Can I come in?” Jeff asks quickly. “I think this might go a little better without Statler and Waldorf staring at us.”
“Sure,” Annie says, stepping aside to let him in. Troy and Abed exchange glances - the latter wiggles his eyebrows.
“Now this is gonna be interesting.”
#
She tells him everything. All of it. And she breaks down crying somewhere in the middle, her sobs making it almost impossible to decipher. But he does, somehow. He sits with her and holds her hand while she cries, and when she says it, the worst possible thing she thinks she’ll ever say to him, he closes his eyes and breathes. He just breathes.
It seems like years before he opens his eyes again. And when he does, he squeezes her hand. “It took me a long time to get here,” he says, his voice much tighter than usual, “but I’m here now. And I’m happy. So - okay, yeah, we didn’t expect this. But I’m not going anywhere. Okay? I’m going to be here for you, and - and I love you, and - and I’m just not gonna leave you. So.”
He stops himself awkwardly. “So, yeah,” he says.
This just makes Annie cry harder. When she finally, finally stops, she kisses him hard and whispers over and over how sorry she is. That he doesn’t need to do this. That, really, she understands if he wants out, and she doesn’t blame him in the slightest. That she loves him but she’s not going to trap him.
But then Jeff holds her tight and tells her he means it, that he’s not going to be his father, that he loves her and would never let her down like this. Annie cries again, then takes his hand.
“You’re the father,” she says. “This is our baby. We’re gonna be a family. Thank you, Jeff. Thank you.”
And then they spend the rest of the night on his couch, holding each other tight and staying completely silent.
#
She sits motionless on the toilet, her hands trembling. No - everything is trembling. How could this have happened? How could perfect, responsible, safe little Annie have made a mistake as big as this?
The shoplifted box lays discarded at her feet. The tiny piece of plastic it once held is propped up on Annie’s knees, barely staying in place as her whole body erupts in tremors. This can’t be. Things had been going so well - she and Jeff finally, finally were on the same page. The study group was in balance again. She was acing all her classes. An unexpected, unwanted pregnancy was not even close to being the cherry on top.
Jeff. Oh, God. It’s only been a month. Four weeks. Four weeks of going slow, being careful not to make labels and create pressure for themselves. Stolen kisses in supply closets, sleepovers that didn’t involve much sleep (but usually never more than long, lazy kisses while they cuddled under the sheets. Usually). It’s too soon for this. It’s way too soon.
And it’s Jeff - he panics at the first sight of danger of commitment or anything too big. And this? This is huge. He could never - She swallows hard as she tries to finish that sentence. He could never accept all of this. Forgive her.
But he has to know. It’s only right. At least, she thinks so. So, with her hands still shaking and a throat so dry it hurts, Annie gathers her belongings, throws out the stolen pregnancy test, and walks to her car. She’s going to tell Jeff Winger that she’s pregnant, and dammit, no one can stop her.
#
They decide not to tell the group right away. Annie’s heard that you shouldn’t announce pregnancies until you’re in your second trimester, and besides, they’re still not totally sure the group knows they’re together. Troy and Abed know, of course, but no one else has confirmation. They’re not exactly hiding it - they no longer hide their long glances across the study room table, and most of the time, they walk hand-in-hand through the hallways. But even if the group does know that they’re dating, news of the baby is just so much bigger. So they decide to wait for a few months and come up with a plan when the time comes.
Of course, this would be a foolproof plan if Annie didn’t live with two members of their study group.
Her morning sickness always seems to occur at eight PM, right when Troy and Abed sit down to watch the syndicated episodes of Inspector Spacetime on BBC America. After three days of hearing her sprint into the bathroom, then Jeff following a minute later, Troy decides to see what’s going on.
He knocks at the door at the same time that he calls, “Annie? Are you okay?”
The door cracks. Only Jeff’s left eye is visible. “Annie’s fine,” he says before he starts to close the door again.
“Wait!” Troy puts his hand out, trying to keep the door in place. “She’s been sick for, like, three days now. Are you sure she’s okay? What if she infects all of us?”
He gasps. Suddenly, this just became terrifying. “Oh, no,” he murmurs. “Oh, no, oh, no, no. Okay. We’re gonna have to evacuate. No! No time! We’re under quarantine!” He turns to his best friend. “ABED! Quarantine!”
Abed barely reacts. He reaches over, feels around underneath his chair, and emerges with a gas mask. “Got it,” he says before slipping it over his head. Once it’s secure, he goes back to Inspector Spacetime, happily humming along to the theme song.
In his disgust and, well, a little fascination, Jeff lets the door open wider. Troy sees Annie kneeling in front of the toilet, her long hair gathered in a messy ponytail on the side of her head. Troy frowns.
“Dude,” he says quietly so she can’t hear. “Seriously. What’s going on?”
Jeff glances at Annie, then hesitates. “She’s - sick,” he says. “Some kind of stomach thing . Yeah. She’s fine, though. Don’t worry. Or think too much about it.”
Troy eyes Jeff. “Look, man. I know you think I’m not capable of handling stuff like this, but I totally am. So come on. What’s going on?”
“Troy.” The door opens wider, and suddenly Annie’s standing next to Jeff, her hand on his arm. “Look - we weren’t gonna tell anyone, but if we’re living together, it’s gonna be hard to keep this from you and Abed. So I’m gonna tell you the truth, but you can’t freak out, okay? And you can’t tell anyone.”
Troy nods fervently, moving his finger over his heart. “Cross my heart.”
Annie takes a deep breath and tells him.
He freaks out.
#
When she’s eight months pregnant, the group throws them a baby shower. Annie cries, because that seems to be her reaction to everything these days. The silly, clichéd baby shower games make her cry. The cake makes her cry. And the presents make her sob.
Because of the sheer volume of tears she’s been releasing the whole night, she hasn’t noticed Jeff’s uncharacteristic stiffness. Having a baby on the way hasn’t really changed him much - he’s still the same conniving asshole he’s always been, except when it comes to Annie and the baby. Normally, he’d be beside himself with excitement as they unwrap toys and clothes. But tonight, he’s just quiet. He half-heartedly plays the game where they have to cut a ribbon that they think will go around Annie’s stomach. He barely even looks up to accept a piece of cake from Shirley.
When they get home, Annie excitedly starts folding all the new clothes and putting them away in the baby’s dresser. Jeff abruptly announces he’s going to bed and slams the door shut.
#
Shirley and Britta come around eventually. Annie wins Britta over by reminding the blonde of all the blankets and little hats she’ll get to knit the baby, and Shirley perks up once she realizes this baby will be tiny, adorable, squishable, and, most importantly, in desperate need of spiritual guidance. She quickly volunteers to serve as godmother. Annie and Jeff just kind of look at each other and shrug.
Pierce comes to Jeff’s apartment three days after they tell the group and wordlessly hands him a check. Jeff invites the older man inside and they spend the night drinking scotch and discussing their own fathers. It’s the first time Jeff’s ever admitted his own doubts about becoming a parent.
Two hours after Pierce falls asleep, snoring louder than Jeff had thought was humanly possible, Annie lets herself in using her brand new key. Jeff waves to her, staring blankly at the dark television. Annie giggles when she sees them. “Did you boys have a fun night?”
“Uh-huh,” Jeff says, placing his glass on the coffee table. Then he gets up and kisses Annie hello, lingering just a little too long. But Annie’s still giggling when he pulls away, his breath hot and bitter on her skin.
“Hi,” he says, grinning widely.
“Hi,” Annie says, returning the smile. No one says anything for a long time. Then, finally, she asks, “What did you and Pierce talk about?”
Jeff doesn’t answer right away. He’s too busy moving his hand around her stomach, gently tracing the swollen skin. “Our dads,” he says, his voice a little rougher than usual in his intoxication. “How we grew up without them. All that fun stuff.”
Annie watches his face as he speaks, knowing what he really means. “You know,” she says quietly, threading her fingers through hers and removing it from her belly, “I bet that in, like, twenty-five years, our baby’s gonna be up really late one night, drinking scotch with his - or her - older friend from community college, and talking about how he or she had the most awesome dad ever. Who…taught him or her how to throw a baseball and how to drive a car and how to talk his or her way out of ever doing his or her own work.”
Jeff chuckles. “Our kid’s never gonna go to community college. Our kid’s gonna go to Princeton. Or Harvard. Or Yale.”
Annie’s breath catches in her throat. “Yale. That’s - that’s where I wanted to go. Before, you know, I ran through a glass window and dropped out of high school and got my GED in rehab.”
“I think,” Jeff says carefully, “our kid’s gonna be awesome. Because we’re gonna tell him about all of our mistakes, and he’s never, ever going to do what we did. Our kid’s gonna be valedictorian and go to Yale and get into law school - a real one. Columbia, probably. And he’s never going to know what it feels like to have ruined your own life. And he’s always gonna know what it feels like to be loved.”
Annie just looks at him, her fingers gently caressing his cheek. “And most of all,” she says, “our baby - please stop referring to him or her as ‘him’ - is gonna get to hear his or her dad deliver awesome, uplifting speeches, like, every single day.”
He wraps his arms around her and pulls her tight, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. They stand like that for a while, their eyes closed and breathing deep, content in each other’s presence. And then Pierce wakes up and ruins everything by farting and trying to blame it on the chair.
#
Two weeks after the baby first kicks, they go for a sonogram and finally, finally ask what the sex is. It’s a girl.
Jeff cries again.
#
Jeff paces around the room, wringing his hands incessantly. Annie perches on her bed, watching him uneasily. After about five minutes of silence, she’s finally had enough. “Okay,” she says. “So what’s up?”
“What’s up,” Jeff repeats, taking a deep breath. “I - okay, here’s the thing, Annie.” He blows out a sigh that sounds like it may have been painful, then runs a hand through his hair. “Okay. So what I came here to say is that -”
“Jeff,” Annie interrupts gently, “you’re literally not saying anything. Can you please just tell me why you’re here?”
Suddenly, he bends forward, his back perfectly straight, and kisses her gently. When he pulls away after just a few moments, he very calmly says, “I’m here because I’m in love with you and I got tired of pretending otherwise.”
Annie lets this sink in. For approximately seven-point-three seconds, she sits quietly. Then she grabs him around the neck and pulls his face towards hers, covering his face - but mostly his lips - with kisses. “You - stupid - ass,” she scolds in the brief moments her lips aren’t making contact with his. “You couldn’t have gotten fed up any earlier than this? It took you this long?”
Jeff gently covers her hands with his and removes them from their loose position around his neck. Then he kisses her, this time with much more aggression. “What can I say,” he says when he comes up for air. “I just needed you to know. And now you do. And now I’m gonna kiss you. Because I’m really, really tired of not doing that.”
And then he lowers his mouth to hers and does exactly that.
#
When she goes into labor, Jeff’s in the living room, cursing under his breath as he tries to put together the bouncy seat Shirley bought them. Her water breaks all over their bedroom floor. Annie makes a mental note not to tell Jeff about that until much, much later, preferably when his newborn daughter is actually in his arms.
He drives her to the hospital in under ten minutes. It’s pretty impressive, considering he does it one-handed. His right hand is clamped in Annie’s the entire journey, his bones grinding together as she grits her teeth and mutters expletives under her breath. Jeff didn’t even know Annie could curse like that. By minute six, he’s gone from pleasantly surprised to a bit offended. He wants to threaten her with a swear jar, but he thinks he might lose his man parts if he does so.
Sixteen hours later, he’s holding his daughter in his arms as the members of the study group knock tentatively on the door. Jeff quietly opens it, warning everyone not to be too loud, in case they wake up Annie. Of course, she wakes up anyway. The group somehow manages to find enough chairs to accommodate them all, and they gather around the bed. Jeff sits at the foot of the bed, holding his daughter while Annie talks about epidurals with Shirley. Every so often, Annie’s gaze drifts over to Jeff and their baby. He always seems to be able to tell when she’s looking at them.
Whenever their eyes lock, Jeff feels himself breaking out in the biggest, stupidest grin possible. He’s been a father for all of two hours, and he’s already become a softie.
The group quietly excuse themselves after about an hour, everyone promising to come back tomorrow. Jeff sees them out, having handed the baby over to her mother. When they’re finally, finally alone, he settles in next to Annie, wrapping his arm around her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, both of them staring into their daughter’s big blue eyes.
He doesn’t cry. Not once during the delivery (except for one time when Annie squeezed his hand so hard, he genuinely thought she had broken every single bone. A tear or two may have escaped then). Not even when a nurse comes in and performs a demonstration of how to properly change a diaper. Jeff doesn’t shed a single tear until some member of the hospital staff walks in and hands Annie their daughter’s birth certificate. She doesn’t even hesitate as she writes in Jeff’s name. Jeff takes it from her as soon as she’s finished to read it. It’s official - Charlotte Grace Winger, born August 11th, 2012.
That’s when he starts crying.
#
The night before Jeff drives all the way over to Annie’s new apartment with Troy and Abed and tells her he can’t stand it anymore, he needs her to know that he loves her, she gets really, really drunk.
The thing is, she’s twenty-one years old and has only been drunk once. And technically, that was as Caroline Decker, so she doesn’t even count it. So she goes out with her new roommates, who quickly develop a drinking game involving a shot every time the big-haired woman on the barstool next to Abed laughs and flips her hair while talking to the creepy mustachioed guy next to her.
Needless to say, they get pretty hammered.
So Annie winds up standing by herself, nursing a gin and tonic, when this guy comes up to her. Unfortunately, that’s as detailed as he ever was - some guy. That’s all she remembers about him the next morning when she wakes up in a strange bed with an arm loosely thrown over her hips.
It takes all of two seconds for the guilt and shock to hit her. Four seconds after that, her hangover hits. She groans, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes, but that only makes it worse. Then the anonymous guy in bed next to her grunts and sort of shifts closer to her. Annie panics and does the only acceptable thing: she jumps out of bed, gets dressed, and leaves as quietly as possible.
Later that day, Annie’s gained herself a boyfriend, and she forgets all about the guy whose name she never learned and whose face she quickly forgot.