Title: five times annie slept on jeff's couch (and the one time she slept in his bed) [2/6]
Author(s):
office_bluth and
jennynonameRating: PG-13, just to be safe
Word Count: 4238
Spoilers: Anything that's aired is fair game, though this chapter refers to the events of Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design, as well as a brief mention of a scene in Asian Population Studies.
Author's Note: My best friend/beta/favorite person in the world,
jennynoname, and I decided to combine our love for each other and Jeff/Annie and write a fic together. So we're alternating writing each chapter. The first chapter, written by Jenn, was posted last week, and now it's my turn! We hope you enjoy it!
Chapter One The blanket fell quickly, blocking the view of their friends. Almost instinctually, Jeff moved closer to Annie, her body mirroring his.
It was sort of a long day for them - she had been mad at him, cried over his “death,” and was almost blown up by a car. And he knew it was stupid, and that he was overreacting like crazy, but he had to move closer to her, to protect her from the big bad blanket fort.
He dared himself to glance at her and gauge her reaction to their sudden close proximity. She looks confused, as she had the entire day, but not entirely displeased. He had no idea why, but as his eyes flicked from her eyes to her mouth, he heard himself saying, “We should probably talk.”
She jumped back almost immediately, her eyes wide. “About how we’re awesome actors and should start our own national vaudeville show?”
“No, not about that,” Jeff said, tapping his index finger on the floor. He shifted microscopically towards her. “I feel like there are some things that - maybe we should say to each other. That maybe we should have said a while ago.”
Somehow, her eyes got even wider. “Okay,” Annie said quietly. Then she glanced at the blanket blocking them from the rest of their study group. “What about them?”
And that was how they wound up in Jeff’s apartment, Annie sitting primly on the couch with her ankles crossed and hands folded, an interesting contrast to the fake blood and bullet hole on her sweater. Jeff had immediately gone to change, having grown tired of looking like he walked away from an attempted murder.
“Make yourself at home,” he called as he pulled his sweater over his head. “The remote should be on the coffee table, if you want to watch TV.”
“No, I’m fine,” she called back. Then, after a moment, she added, “So what did you want to talk about?”
Jeff paused. She didn’t sound all that nervous. Was he the only one slightly freaking out over this? She had spent all summer obsessed with him, and they had spent the day together, having fun without any of the awkwardness that had plagued them ever since they kissed. How could Annie not be wary about whatever had happened during that shoot-out? And the car explosion - if he closed his eyes, he could still remember her body beneath his. At some point, things between them had shifted off-course from their usual detached friendliness that had been in place since last May. That…thing between them, whatever it was that made them such a great debate team, that made something black and cold grab his insides when she dated Vaughn, that made them kiss like no one else in the world existed, was still there. And Annie wasn’t at all worried or disturbed by that fact.
“Hang on,” he finally answered her, throwing his sweater and T-shirt into his hamper, despite the fact that the sweater was pretty much ruined. He grabbed a shirt from his dresser and pulled it over his head, determined to have this conversation as soon as possible.
Jeff marched out of his room, the words ready on his lips. Annie turned around when she heard him, offering him a small smile that slowly dissolved as her eyes settled on him.
He felt his cheeks grow hot, noticing her gaze was locked somewhere between his chest and his belly button. “D - do you want something to drink?” he asked, all his nerve gone. Their conversation could wait a few more minutes.
Annie tore her eyes away from his torso and finally met his eyes. “No, I’m fine.” Then she hesitated, biting her lip as she glanced back down at his body. “You wore that shirt last time. I only remember because I thought it was so funny that you would commit so much to a lie.”
“Well.” Jeff shot her a cocky grin. “As you saw today, there’s nothing I won’t do to avoid having to tell the truth.”
That earned him a bark of laughter. “Yeah, I guess so.” She smiled at him, her hesitation gone. Finally, the real Annie was in his apartment, not one plagued by self-doubt or anxiety, nor was she the grown-up woman who liked organizing and color-coded lists. She was the fun nineteen-year-old, the one who giggled over the thought of Shirley having a new boyfriend and who could get away with wrestling in oil. Jeff so rarely got to see that side - she had been guarded around him for months, ever since the Tranny Dance he never let himself think about, but the cracks had slowly started to show, today more than ever.
“I’m glad we did this.” He took a cautious step forward, then stopped, not wanting to make her nervous and put her walls back up. “The - you know. Running around Greendale and solving mysteries and whatever. You’re the only person I know that would go along with a plan that involves being shot multiple times.”
“You’re the only person who could tell me that they were going to shoot me and I wouldn’t run away screaming,” Annie fired back, her eyes bright. Then her face softened. “Come on, Jeff. What do you want to talk about?”
Jeff sighed, his shoulders slumping. “You sure you don’t want something to drink first?” He sidestepped into the kitchen, peering into a few cabinets and opening some drawers just to give himself something to do.
“Jeff.” Annie got up from the couch, stopping in the kitchen doorway. “Yes, I’m sure I don’t want anything to drink, and you don’t, either. You’re just trying to get out of this, which is stupid, since this was your idea in the first place.”
And then he snapped. Things had been back to normal while they investigated the conspiracy, but their idea of normal had changed drastically over the last few months. Normal for them was smiling politely and making casual conversation while they waited for the rest of their study group to show up. Jeff wanted to get rid of whatever awkward tension existed between them, but had absolutely no idea how to do it; the last thing he needed was an Annie-shaped pest forcing the information he wasn’t totally willing to share.
“Yeah, I know that, Annie,” Jeff said sharply, slamming a drawer shut with too much force. She jumped at the sudden noise. “But maybe I was wrong. Maybe we don’t need to talk about anything. It’s not like talking is gonna fix anything.”
The brunette put her hands on her hips, her formidable face on. “No. This isn’t happening. You’re not ignoring this again.”
“Again?” Jeff chuckled, sounding almost crazed. “When have I ever ignored this, Annie? When has there ever been anything to ignore?”
“Right there!” she snapped, pointing a finger at him. “You’re ignoring it right now. Don’t pretend like there’s never been anything between us that wasn’t - more than what should be between friends. You did it when school started, and you’re doing it now, and I’m so tired of it.”
Jeff resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “When did I do it when school started?” he asked. “I barely talked to you, Annie. You were following me around like…like a kid.”
Her eyes flared. Before he could react, Annie took a menacing step towards him, boxing him against the kitchen island. “I am a kid, you jerk,” she snapped, punctuating each word with a poke to his chest. “And according to you, the only reason that we kissed is because you crave young flesh. I know for a fact that that isn’t why we kissed, so can you do us both a favor and grow a pair so you can be honest with me for the first time?”
Jeff opened his mouth to fire back a retort, but gave up. “Fine,” he said quietly. “You’re right. I was the one who said we needed to talk. Can we go sit down?”
“No,” Annie responded. “How do I know that’s not another attempt to distract me?”
The former lawyer sighed. “It takes, like, ten seconds to get into the living room. I’d have to think pretty fast if I wanted to distract you in the span of ten seconds.”
Glaring at him, Annie took a reluctant step back. “Fine,” she said sharply before pivoting and marching into the living room, not bothering to make sure he was following.
She did, however, wait for him to sit before she did. As soon as he was settled on the couch, Annie leaned forward, obviously prompting him to begin.
Jeff sighed. “Okay. I just, um. I feel like today was - well, I meant what I said. I had fun today. And having fun at Greendale is kind of…unprecedented. But I like hanging out with you, and I’ve…” He swallowed hard, forcing himself to get the words out. “I’ve missed you. Being friends with you outside the group.”
Annie shifted her weight. “We were never really friends outside the group,” she muttered, not meeting his eyes. “Not even before the you-know-what.”
He couldn’t help but grin at that. “No, I guess not,” he conceded. “But we could have been. I felt like we were starting to become friends, and then the…you-know-what ruined that, because things got so weird.”
Finally, she lifted her eyes. “Look, I think I know where this is going,” she said, her words rushing out. “I didn’t mean what I said, Jeff, really. I’m not in love with you, and I never thought I was, so if you’re freaking out over that -”
“No, it’s not that,” Jeff said, shaking his head. “I know you’re not. Believe me, I spend enough time lying to people. I can tell when someone’s lying to me. But the other thing you said.” He paused, not sure how to proceed. It had been entirely too long since he was honest with someone about his feelings. “You weren’t a secret. I wasn’t - I wasn’t ashamed of you, or of what happened.”
Annie looked surprised. “Jeff, I know. I told you, I was just trying to be -”
“Convincing,” he finished for her. “Yeah, I know. But whether or not you meant it, I’ve been thinking about it for months, wondering if I did the right thing or not.”
The brunette sat up straight. “You did,” she insisted. “We talked about it, and you were right: it would have been awful if it got out - which it did, and it was even worse than I thought. It wasn’t like I wanted you to update your Facebook status to say, ‘I made out with Annie Edison’.”
Jeff grinned at that, dropping his head. “I know. But that’s not what I mean. I’m not talking about how I didn’t tell the group. I’m talking about how I ignored you. It was my decision - I mean, I didn’t want anything more to come from it, which I explained afterwards. And then you…didn’t handle it the way I wanted you to, and instead of talking to you or doing anything, I just ignored you, because if I could ignore you, then I could pretend like it never happened.”
Annie smiled humorlessly, her gaze in her lap. “So basically you weren’t ashamed of me,” she said, “just how I was acting.”
“I - yeah,” Jeff admitted. “Because you weren’t doing what I wanted you to do, and I already felt like an asshole for ruining our friendship, and things with the group, so I decided the best thing to do was leave you alone.”
He tore his eyes away from her, sighing heavily but not continuing his explanation. Annie swallowed. “Thank you. All I ever wanted was an explanation, and maybe it’s not the nicest explanation ever, but at least it’s an answer. So thank you.”
Jeff nodded dumbly. He felt like he still had more to say to her, thousands of things to apologize for, but with the way she smiled at him and gently covered his hand with her own, he suddenly felt like the rest could wait.
Annie smiled shyly at him. “So can we be friends again? No weirdness?”
“No weirdness,” Jeff confirmed. “That is, unless you have anything else you want to talk about. I think I’m good.”
Annie scrunched up her nose as she thought. The former lawyer swallowed hard as he watched her, feeling something tug deep inside of him. For the first time since May, he felt that pull, that voice in his head that made him think kissing Annie was a good idea. He wanted her again, to kiss her away from Greendale, away from the eyes and presence of their friends. They could create their own little bubble on his couch, a safe ground that eliminated every consequence and just let them finally accept that what they wanted was each other.
But that would ruin everything - literally, everything. They did it once before, true, but doing so enabled them to see what, exactly, they had to lose. It took them six months to finally make peace with each other, and that had only been in effect for about a minute. Kissing Annie would be the worst possible thing Jeff could do.
Then again, he’d always been a big promoter of self-destruction.
Still, even Jeff knew the difference between destruction and complete annihilation. Instead of following the magnetic pull towards her lips, he gently kissed her cheek. “Thanks,” he whispered, his voice unusually rough.
She smiled. “For what?”
Jeff didn’t answer right away, his index finger tracing shapes on her wrist. “Most people just call me an asshole and run away. You’re giving me another chance.” He hesitated, not sure he wanted to hear the answer to the question he knew he needed to ask. “Why?”
Annie turned her head fractionally, just enough to look at him. “You’re not as awful as you think, Jeff. You’re a good person deep down - you just don’t think you are. But I know you care about your friends, and that you would never intentionally hurt me.”
She smiled reassuringly at him, her wide eyes compassionate and…adoring. The image broke Jeff’s heart. Beautiful Annie Edison, with her cardigans and giant backpacks, didn’t have the slightest clue. She was so wonderfully naïve, so blindly in awe of him, that she had no idea that he would chew her up and spit her out. Jeff could absolutely destroy her, and she looked completely willing to let him try.
Abruptly, Jeff jumped away, doing his best to look at anything but her. “It’s, uh, it’s getting pretty late. I guess I should take you home now.”
Annie looked surprised by the sudden shift in conversation. “Oh. Okay, yeah.” She fumbled around for her sweater, which had wound up behind one of the couch pillows. As she shrugged into it, Jeff remembered something else she had said that night.
“You really do live in a bad neighborhood, don’t you,” he said, not even bothering to phrase it as a question. He already knew the answer. Annie shrugged awkwardly, one arm in her sweater.
“It’s not terrible. It’s not the greatest, but it’s safe enough,” she said.
Jeff fought the urge to groan. He knew what he had to do, and it would probably be excruciating for him. “You can stay here tonight. I’d have to pick you up tomorrow, anyway, since your car’s still at Greendale.”
“No, it’s fine,” Annie protested. “I’ve lived there for six months, Jeff. I’m used to it by now.”
He shook his head stubbornly. “Nope. You’re staying here. I don’t know where you live, but the bad parts of Greendale are rough. I’ll make up the couch for you.” A small smile graced his lips. “Maybe this time, you’ll actually stay the whole night.”
Annie petulantly stuck out her tongue at him. “Fine, I’ll stay. But only if you let me make you breakfast tomorrow morning as a thank-you.”
Jeff held up his hands. “Why would you even think I would have a problem with that? Of course I’ll agree to that.”
“Fine,” Annie said with a grin. “Thank you.”
“What are friends for?” Jeff asked cheekily. “It’s been a long day, so I’m gonna head to bed. I’ll get you everything you need - I probably have a spare toothbrush lying around somewhere.”
Annie giggled. “Yeah. Maybe in that ridiculous safe of yours.”
“Hey!” Jeff held up a finger. “I’ll have you know that my safe holds items of the utmost importance.”
“Like your shaving cream and hair gel?” Annie countered. “Has anyone seen what’s inside of that thing?”
Jeff paused; just that past weekend, Britta had grown tired of seeing the locked safe and attempted to go at it with a sledgehammer she stole from his landlord. He managed to stop her before she did any damage, but before he managed to drag her kicking and screaming from his apartment, she had sworn that she would see inside the safe if it was the last thing she did.
“Nope,” he said smoothly. “Just me. Those are the benefits of living alone - there’s no one to get in your stuff.”
Annie picked idly at the sleeve of her sweater. “Or it means that there’s no one to share your stuff with.”
Jeff raised his eyebrows. The two regarded each other for a moment, and then abruptly looked away. He cleared his throat, rising to his feet. “So. Toothbrush. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”
Annie nodded mutely as Jeff retreated to the bathroom. He locked the door behind him, just in case she got curious about his safe combination; then he opened the metal box and poked around, finally emerging after a few minutes with some necessities.
“I found you a toothbrush,” Jeff said as he left the bathroom, crossing the hallway to his linen closet. “And some deodorant. I think some girl left it here once. Um, if you need anything else, let me know. We can work out a shower schedule tomorrow.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” Annie said breezily. “I should probably go home early tomorrow so I can change, and everything, so I can just shower there.”
“Oh, okay,” Jeff said, feeling weirdly disappointed. Okay, yes, maybe a small part of him had liked the idea of Annie in his shower, using his shampoo, wrapping one of his towels around her body…okay, he was probably perverse. He shuddered and forced himself to pay attention to the task at hand.
Once he found some extra blankets, he dropped them next to the couch and went on a pillow hunt. After some hesitation, he grabbed one from the left side of his bed; he kept it there purposely for any women who happened to be sleeping over, and hadn’t given it to Annie when she spent the night back in May. After everything that had happened that night, the last thing he needed was to feel like even more of a slimeball. Giving your sex pillow to the girl you had just inappropriately made out with was a whole new low, one even Jeff wasn’t willing to reach.
He grabbed a few more pillows, then headed back to the living room, his arms full. Annie giggled when she saw him. “Gee, do I get to sleep on all of those?”
“I’m gonna stack them up and put a pea underneath,” he said. “We’ll finally be able to put this princess thing to rest once and for all.”
Annie giggled again, the noise enough to make Jeff smile. He scratched his head, suddenly self-conscious and very aware of his own body. “I just thought you could, you know, grab however many you wanted to make yourself comfortable. If you need anything else, let me know. I have some clothes you could sleep in, if you want.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice quieter than usual. Jeff noticed her cheeks were pink - was she blushing? Was Annie Edison embarrassed?
He cleared his throat, mumbling something under his breath that was supposed to be, “I’ll be right back,” but came out a bit more like Pierce’s attempts at speaking Spanish. After rifling through his dresser drawers, he emerged a few minutes later with a T-shirt and pair of shorts.
“Thanks,” Annie said, taking the clothes from him and setting them down next to her. “I’m, um. Gonna go change.”
“Yeah, uh, I think I’m gonna go to bed,” Jeff said, still feeling abnormally stiff. “Unless you need anything else?” he added, cringing at the hopeful tone in his voice.
Annie shook her head. “Thanks for letting me stay here, Jeff. I’ll see you in the morning.” Then she padded away to the bathroom, his clothes bundled in her arms.
Jeff heaved a large sigh, not moving. Had it always been this exhausting to be around Annie? He felt like he had been guarding himself all night, to avoid himself from once again crossing the fragile line they had established between themselves. It was so tempting to toe the line, or even put a whole foot over it. It was funny how Annie Edison, the quintessential rule-follower, made Jeff so desperate to break all of his own rules.
Finally, he started for his bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him and falling onto his bed face-first. Suddenly the thought of having Annie in just the next room seemed like a very, very bad idea.
He took a deep breath to steady himself. This was nothing. He could sleep in the general vicinity of a woman he had conflicting feelings for and not let himself do anything. He was a grown man; surely he had some self-control.
Three hours later, he was staring at his bedroom ceiling.
As it turned out, it wasn’t all that easy to sleep anywhere near Annie. He groaned, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. Why hadn’t it been this hard the last time she slept here?
Of course, he knows the answer to that. The last time she was here, he had convinced himself that they were just friends, and there was nothing more to it. Still, he had been restless until he heard the unmistakable sound of his front door closing. He probably should have gone to stop her, or at least ensure she was leaving safely, but he was just too relieved to be by himself and not have to worry about the…Annie of it all.
Jeff groaned and rolled over, squeezing his eyes shut. This was ridiculous. Whatever things were between them didn’t have to be dealt with right away; he could put off having to categorize all those weird feelings until tomorrow. And yet, no matter how many times he told himself that, he still saw her face every time she closed his eyes.
A quiet knock at the door finally snapped him out of his thoughts. Jeff frowned. “Come in,” he called. Slowly, the door opened.
“I just wanted to know something,” Annie whispered, her silhouette still in the doorway. “When I said - everything that I said. When I went off book. Were you scared?”
Jeff considered that for a moment. “No,” he said finally. “Not really.”
“Okay. That’s really all I needed to know.” Annie glanced down, shifting her weight. “Things are never going to be…normal between us, are they?” she whispered. Even in the dark, he could tell she was biting her lip.
Jeff sighed and sat up, the mattress squeaking loudly with the effort. He didn’t have to ask what she meant. “No,” he said. “No, they never will.”
“And they won’t be easy, will they? Not the way they should be?”
Once again, he knew exactly what she meant. She was nineteen: to nineteen-year-olds, love was simple. A boy and a girl met, became friends, and then fell in love. Add in kissing, a few strategic hand placements, and frequent sleepovers, but keep the friendship, the foundation of everything. Then they’d get married, have kids, and be happy forever.
But that wasn’t how things worked, and Jeff knew that much better than Annie ever could. Relationships weren’t that easy, and theirs was no exception. Add in the study group and everything that had already been mishandled and messed up between the two of them, plus whatever he was doing with Britta whenever one of them got a little too drunk and remembered that a warm bed was just a text message away…no, things would never be easy between Jeff and Annie, at least not in the ways that mattered. He always felt the need to protect her: whether it was from hippies, exploding cars, or falling blankets, Jeff always took it upon himself to ensure Annie was safe. The least he could do was save her from him.
“No,” he answered her. Despite everything they discussed earlier, Jeff felt like it was the first time he was ever truly honest with Annie.
“I’m a big girl, Winger,” she whispered, moving closer to him and brushing her lips against his forehead. “You’re not gonna break my heart.” Before Jeff could respond, she was gone, leaving him alone in the dark.
Months later, when she left him alone in a bathroom stall, he remembered promises made on squeaking mattresses, the memory as detailed as ever as he realized that he had once again let Annie Edison down.