i'll be (over you)
[i'll be (over you)]
g, romance
"There were the nights holding you close
Someday I'll try to forget them
Someday I'll be over you"
There is nothing new with his morning. Lying on the same old room with the same bed and same old smell, same thoughts on his mind driving him insane. Weeks turned to months that Jongin has to wake up every morning with the pang on his chest. Jongin has always been like this since he left. Stiff. Out of his mind. Depressed. Like a living dead. It was never easy. They have been together for almost a year already and never did he expect something like this would happen. It hurts. A lot. And it hurts a lot more as each day pass and he still doesn’t receive any call from him. It was his fault. He knows that if he doesn’t let his fear overtake him, he would still be happy, they would still be happy.
Thanks to his bestfriend, Luhan, whom he met in his History class during his freshman year that he can still manage to go to school. It may be depressing but he has to as much as his love life is important, studying is necessary to especially now that they are on their Senior year. Jongin heard a knock on the door but he doesn’t move an inch.
“Jongin, it’s past 8 you may want to take a shower now?”
“Sure, Hyung.” He smiles. The same bitter smile
***
How it all ended Kyungsoo doesn’t know. One day he was so happy, so in love, next thing he knew he was breaking up with him.
“Do you think we’re okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean us? You and I both know something is wrong. I think I need time to think about things...”
“Are you breaking up with me?” he panics
“I’m sorry. But I think we both need this.”
“No. No. I love you Kyungsoo... We’ll work things out.” He said as he grabbed the collar of Kyungsoo’s shirt. He’s legs are about to turn liquid any moment. Tears falling on his cheeks.
“I’m sorry.” He removed the boys hand on his shirt. Walking away, leaving the other boy alone.
***
“Did you see him?”
Luhan asked Jongin. The two boys are on their shared study table on the living room of their apartment. Busy days. Sleepless nights. Hell week. Pre-finals exams are coming. Jongin accidentally dropped the pen he was holding. He is not ready for this. He is not ready for confrontation. Luhan is the best bestfriend he could ask for. Sure, he is willing to share and talk to the other boy about everything but he’s never ready to talk about this matter. It still hurts him. He’s afraid it will hurt more. He is afraid Luhan will just pity him.
“Let’s not talk about this, hyung” the boy said as he goes back to writing something on his paper trying so hard to focus.
Luhan sighed.
“You know... I’m your bestfriend. Just incase you forgot already. He broke up with you but it feels like you broke up with me too.” Luhan said. He was not mad. More like hurt. And worried.
“I’m sorry. I’m just... scared.” Jongin said as he placed both of his palms on his face.
“What are you scared of?”
“I don’t know hyung. I don’t know”
“You know if you would just sit here, or lock yourself in your room or stare at the ceiling every morning nothing will happen. You know that. I just don’t get you. Why don’t you try to win him back.” Luhan takes Jongin’s hand and look to him.
“I don’t know hyung. I don’t know” he repeats
***
“I think it will rain. Let’s walk faster... or we could run?” Kyungsoo smiled as he grabs the other boy’s left hand swaying it as high as he can.
“Why should we run? We can enjoy the rain.” He grins. The clouds are in the shade of grey. No wonder it will rain any moment
Kyungsoo glares at him but he is still smiling. “We could get sick! And we still have an exam tomorrow I’m sure you don’t want to miss it Mr. Grade Conscious” he teases.
“You’re so cute.” He pinched Kyungsoo’s cheeks.
“Heyyyyyyy~ stop”
“I don’t want to run or walk faster because it means shorter time together so I suggest let’s use my umbrella and take our time to walk.” He flashes a blinding smile. Kyungsoo forgot how to breathe
“You’re so sweet... I don’t like cavities...”
“I like you Kyungsoo, so much.”
“I like you too.”
***
He cries. And cries harder as he remembers all the times they spent together. Those lunch dates they shared. Those crappy times they have to study for a boring quiz on social studies quiz. Those nights they spent at his room watching Korean dramas that Jongin thinks is so gay. Those times where they just cuddle and whispers sweet words and promises to each other until they fall asleep. It was the typical relationship he had. They did what an ordinary couple could do. But as long as it is with him, there is nothing ordinary. Every moment, every second spent was special. Well not for him. Jongin is not his special one now. He thinks
“You promised forever.” Jongin cried as he brings his face to his pillow harder than he could as he drifted to sleep.
***
“Jongin, I think you need to move on”
“I thought we’re not going to talk about this hyung”
“I saw him with that guy.”
Jongin felt as if Luhan stabbed him literally on his chest. It stings like a fresh wound poured with a bottle of alcohol.
***
“Hey Soo!”
A boy with brown hair probably just the same height as him called Kyungsoo.“Hi Jongdae. What’s up”
“Things are good. You going home now?”
“Yup!”
“Mind if I walk with you? Just until at my bus stop?”
“Oh god you just didn’t. Asking things as if we’re not bestfriends? Seriously Kim Jongdae”
“Just kidding.” The two boys walked together talking about things; academics stuff, Jongdae and his crush Minseok.
“How are you and him? I mean it’s been a long time.” Jongdae blurted out when there’s nothing to talk about anymore. Of course there are other things he could ask but he’s more curious with his bestfriend’s love life.
“I think that’s your bus.” Kyungsoo said
Jongdae sighed. That was his bus. “I’ll text you.” then pats Kyungsoo’s shoulder.
“Okay” he smiles
“Saved by the bus” Kyungsoo whispers to himself as the bus left.
***
“I’m so happy you’re mine.” He grinned then kissed Sehun’s cheeks. The said boy still not used to the words he always hears blushed like cherry.
“Me too Tao... You don’t know how much you can me happy.” Sehun said as he hugged the said boy. Bringing himself closer, smelling the manly scent of his boyfriend. The said boys are on their shared room. Sounds can be heard from the TV but the two doesn’t even pay attention to it. They just lay on their bed cuddling.
“Did you talk to him already? I’m sure he’s still upset.” Tao asked.
“No, we’ll get there. I’m sure he will understand soon.” Sehun answered as if he was never been sure of anything but this.
***
True to his promise, Jongdae texted Kyungsoo that night asking him to come to a party sponsored by Jongdae’s organization. Kyungsoo, as far as he’s concerned is avoiding parties. He’s not anti-social(he said) just parties are boring him. Loud music. Smoke. The smell of alcohol. He’s not fond of being surrounded with people he doesn’t even know. So for the nth time he says no to Jongdae.
“Just this time. Kyungsoo please. and I would never ask for anything on my birthday anymore.” This time its not a text anymore but a call Kyungsoo tried to reject so many times but his bestfriend just won’t give up. Kyungsoo imagined Jongdae’s eyes. Begging. Maybe he should just give this one time for his bestfriend, besides, he could even saved money. He can not give Jongdae a gift if he’ll go.
“Please please please.”
“Shit Kim Jongdae I hate you. Okay I’ll go now.”
“Yes!!! Thanks soo!!! You’re the best I love you! I’ll text you the details!” then the line went dead.
***
“Want to come with me?”
“Where?”
“I don’t know. Anywhere?”
Jongin and Luhan, by “maybe this where my feet wanted to take me” as Luhan said, ended up on the bar just outside their campus.
“I know you need this” as he handed a glass of brandy to Jongin. The bar is not that bar Jongin expected to be, there are only few people. The place doesn’t smell bad either. It’s a Monday night Jongin remembered, maybe students are drowning themselves with academicshits after having weekend hangover.
“Will this make me drunk because if yes, no thanks hyung.”
“It won’t.” Luhan smiled as he tried to make Jongin drink the said alcohol
Jongin didn’t ask for more questions, maybe he really needed this. Just this time.
“One more, hyung?” he smiled
***
“You know I hate you” Kyungsoo glared at the boy at the front of the bar
“You know I love you”
“Oh shut up Jongdae, Tell me again why am I here.”
“I told you I love you” Jongdae laughs out loud as he received a not so hard punch from his bestfriend.
“Stop. Okay Let’s go inside now” he is still laughing because mad Kyungsoo is adorable Jongdae thinks
***
“Luhan!!!” Luhan searched where the voice had come from. Oh. His seatmate from his Philosophy class. “Yo~ what’s up?”
“Just hanging out with my friend here? You? Don’t you have exams?” the boy asked. Smiling wildly. They never hanged out before but the more the merrier right?
“I need a break” Luhan laughed at himself. Yes he really need a break too much studying will probably might drive him insane.
“Can we join?” Jongdae asked.
“Sure, right Jongin?” Luhan asked.
“Yes, hyung.” He smiled. The smile Luhan had missed. He looked to where Jongin was looking until his eyes landed on a boy beside Jongdae. He was short like Jongdae. And he has a big wide eyes. Luhan smiled. At last.
“This, my bestfriend here is Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, this is my classmate, Luhan and his...?” Jongdae paused for a moment. Luhan and he are just seatmates who barely see each other outside class that is why they were not that close, just acquaintances in boring class with a boring professor. But now may be they can make great friends.
“Oh this is Jongin, my bestfriend.” He said
The night seemed so short for four people who wanted to talk a lot more about each other. Time really passes by quickly when you enjoy it with people you like. They were not drunk Jongdae makes sure.Jjust drinking few bottles of beer that took a lot of time to be empty because sure thing, their stories are a lot more interesting. It is not an awkward getting to know each other stage either. There was never a dull moment with Jongdae’s funny stories. With Luhan’s face when he laugh. And Kyungsoo was so cute too when he smiles (Jongin thinks). It was past 1am when Jongin and Luhan arrived at their apartment. Not drunk. Just happy. (they said)
“That was fun.” Luhan said as he open the fridge looking for cold water. It’s been a free-stress night he thinks. He will just think about his school stuff tomorrow. It can wait. He thinks
“Actually yes.” Jongin looked at him in the eyes.
Wow. He smiled, a genuine smile. Luhan thinks he knows why, but he’ll let Jongin tell it himself.
“Glad you came with me”
“I think I’m the one who should thank you.” Jongin admits. He’s never been this thankful to Luhan, (except for his existence)
“Oh quit it. Let’s go to sleep” Luhan hugs Jongin. Finally, his bestfriend will be happy again, no more Jongin crying at night before he goes to sleep. As Luhan was about to turn the knob of the door of his room, Jongin called him again.
“Hyung.”
“What?”
“I think you’re right. It’s time to forget my feelings for Sehun.” Luhan smiled “Go on Big boy, I’m happy for you”
***
“Look who was so more than happy last night” Kyungsoo was walking to his classroom as he heard a voice beside him. Of course it was no other than from his bestfriend Jongdae. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes ready to hit Jongdae but the said boy managed to escape.
“You lied.”
“WHAT.”
“You told me it was a party.” Kyungsoo attacked Jongdae this time not letting the boy escape.
“STOP!! SOO!” Jongdae cried. The hit Kyungsoo gave him was not painful but yes it’s kinda annoying so he protests.
Kyungsoo stops. “Okay I’m sorry” Jongdae blurted. "There was never a party I just want to hangout with my bestfriend. Silly."
“You could just ask me! It will be easier!”
“I want challenge! Besides you enjoyed!” jongdae laughs
“UGH” Kyungsoo is about to hit Jongdae again when his eyes spotted a very familiar boy. How can he not notice?
“Kyungsoo..”
“Jo-“ he stutters but managed to compose himself
“Joonmyeon...how are you?”
The other boy smiled at him still. That smile.. Kyungsoo had known, but it was never bright enough for him to be blind anymore...
“I’m good. This is my friend, Yixing..” Joonmyeon winks at Kyungsoo as Yixing extended his hand to meet Kyungsoo’s and Kyungsoo knew it already he made the right decision for both of them to be happier..without each other.
“and hi Jongdae but we’ll be late for class so See you around Soo. ”
“til next time Joonmyeon and you too Yixing”
“Bye” and the two boys run to their rooms.
“So....” Jongdae says
“So... Jongdae, can you ask Luhan if I can have Jongin’s number?” he winks
***