Long, rambly thoughts about HP and the Deathly Hallows
Honestly, I think I'm think still processing. I think there is a lot I haven't dealt with yet, simply because HP (the books, the fanfic, the meta, the fandom) have been such a big part of my life for so many years. Anyway, here are some random thoughts, based on my first, fast reading:
Dumbledore
First of all, my GOD how slashy was the young Dumbledore/Grindelwald relationship? This was totally the love of Dumbledore's life, and I can only imagine what things would have been like if the disaster with his sister hadn't happened. Of course, the cynic in me thinks Grindelwald would have eventually turned on Dumbledore rather than share power with him, but the romantic in me thinks they might have lived (and ruled) happily (and scarily) ever after.
I liked the revelations about Dumbledore; they allowed me to understand and forgive him a little bit for his horrid schemes and manipulations. Aberforth was refreshingly brutal, and said all the things I've been thinking about Dumbledore for years. Why does having JKR acknowledge his awfulness, rather than holding him up as some sort of godly-fatherly figure who can do no wrong, make it more bearable? Who knows?
Harry
I really liked Harry in this book. He's grown and changed, become more likeable, more compassionate, less judgmental. He's begun to recognize the human capacity for change. The wandering in the wilderness seemed really long and drawn out (and boring), but it also got me feeling as bored and desperate and hopeless as Harry himself, wondering how in the hell a half-trained teenager was supposed to figure out all this shit that exceptionally talented wizards more than three times his age haven't figured out. I think it was more savior/Christ-ish stuff though -- the 40 days in the desert -- and when he comes out he's become a man, ready to take on the final challenge. Although Harry himself didn't seem to be entirely aware of it, that was the real turning point. ( I think it was sort of echoed in the way he looked with his long hair and beard, though he didn't seem completely aware of that, either.)
Although he has doubts and fears and human failings, Harry manages to stick to his beliefs, never stooping to the level of Voldemort or his followers, or even those on the "good" side who believed the ends justified any means. I liked that Harry even tried to gave Voldemort the chance to redeem himself, urging him to try for a bit of remorse (which, unless I misread what Dumbledore said earlier, was the only way he could). It felt real rather than taunting, if that makes any sense?
Lily & Ginny
I was really afraid that Lily was going to be a lot like Ginny and was pleasantly surprised that she wasn't. I found her to be really likeable. I think both her troubled relationship with Petunia and her friendship with Snape made her a richer, more compassionate person than Ginny is at the same age. It occurs to me that it will be Harry who influences Ginny to become a better person in their relationship the same way Lily influenced James.
It was nice to *not* see so much of Ginny in this book. When she did appear she was somewhat annoying--the jealousy was ridiculous!--but it helped to remind myself that she was just a sixteen year old girl. I thought it was kind of sad that Harry could push her aside the way he did, so clearly preferring the company of Ron and Hermione, but by the same token, I loved that he *did* want to be with Ron and Hermione, that it was the two of them he sought at the end, rather than the typical 'hero gets the girl run up together and kiss' cliche.
I was also kind of sad thinking that Harry was going to marry/spend his life with a woman who really had no idea of what he'd been through, but then I remembered that Harry isn't the least bit interested in what he's been through -- he wants *normal*. Being with someone who had shared all that with him might actually be more of a reminder than he'd be comfortable with.
Snape & Snape-n-Lily
I'm not quite sure what to make of the Snape/Lily relationship, but I am sure it was much, *much* more than a romantic crush. The fact that his feelings for her started in pre-adolescence and survived so long indicates to me that if there was a romantic component it was...not exactly irrelevant, but certainly not the most important thing. I'm willing to go with the idea of Snape being bi or gay (or for that matter, asexual) as far as physical attraction goes, because it's kind of irrelevant too. I mean, it doesn't matter who (if anyone) he has sex with, because there won't really be any love or commitment there -- every bit of his love and commitment was saved for Lily. (Though, FWIW, I do believe he had friendships and cared for people--such as Draco and [early on] McGonagall--I just think such relationships always existed within his personal mental boundaries of being true to Lily's memory.)
I'm also quite taken with the idea of Snape getting to his own personal King's Cross afterlife eqivalent and finding that Lily is waiting for him there.
Someone on my f'list was dismayed by these revelations about Snape, feeling they made him petty and small and unchanged from his DE days, and therefore unworthy of respect. I don't know. I actually like this aspect of Snape, and kind of respect and admire the fact that his reasons were always his own, and unrelated to any lofty ideals about good and evil. It's more honest. Maybe my reaction is related to one of my personal pet theories, which is that if you do the right thing for the wrong reason, you've still done the right thing, and what a person does is more important than why he does it. Actions always trump thoughts.
I also loved, loved, loved the fact that books ago, when Petunia mentioned "that awful boy," she was talking about Snape. Back then I believed she had to be talking about James. And speaking of James, I lreally liked the bit on the train, where James's behavior and speech is such a clear echo of Draco Malfoy's. And how Snape's and Lily's is such an echo of Harry's and Ron's. Which leads me to...
The Potters & the Malfoys
Although JKR doesn't really (have time to) get into this, I think that the blatant parallels between James and Draco, and the Potter and Malfoy families, are a part of Harry's new accepting, non-judgmental attitude. Both sets of parents loved their son to the extent that his life/safety overrode all other considerations. I think the fact that Harry saw the change in his own father, and in himself, gave him the ability to believe in change for Lucius and Draco. Harry's hatred for the Malfoy family turns to a benign indifference and his very judgmental attitude toward Draco turns to sincere compassion, and thus the wary, distant, but nevertheless (at least to me) genuine acknowlegement on the train platform.
At first I was a little disappointed that none of the Malfoys (especially Draco) ever explicitly changed their mind and crossed over to the "good" side. But the ambiguity is growing on me. All three of them are motivated by love for and a desperate desire to protect the other two, as well as a healthy instinct for self-preservation. I would've liked any one of them to actively help Harry, but maybe it's enough that when it counted they didn't actively hinder him. And I suppose it could be argued that Narcissa *did* actively help when she lied about Harry being dead. That act alone might have been all it took to save the entire family in the aftermath of V's death. And man, I think Narcissa is an absolutely *kick-ass* character!
I am the resurrection and the life....
I've seen comments indicating that the whimpering baby (and God, how gross and awful was *that* image!) was the part of Voldemort's soul that was in Harry, which makes sense, but when I read it I thought it was acually really Voldemort's soul--so split and warped and stunted that without a brain it was just...there. All the talk of the two of them being bonded and bound to each other led me to believe that while Harry was dead, Voldemort was too, thus everyone huddled around him trying to make sure he's all right. If Harry had decided to go on to the next adventure, Voldemort would have stayed dead, too--both of them dead in the clearing, just like Harry had expected it to be. (Now I'm wondering if I missed something.)
I liked that Harry had the option of either going back or going on--it seemed to underscore for me that he was really dead.
Miscellaneous stuff
I was unexpectedly touched by the Regulus story. So much was left to speculation, but I can't help thinking of the parallels with Harry -- how welcomed and loved he must've felt in Slytherin, seeker on the Quidditch team. How he must've blundered about on his own feeling as betrayed by Voldemort as Harry felt by Dumbledore, and then sacrificing himself, knowing it wasn't going to be enough, but doing it anyway because it was the only thing he could do. And God, what a horrible scene for Kreature! I wonder how much of the elf's warped personality was due to being ordered (and thus magically forced) to watch his beloved master go through all that and not lift a finger to help.
I pretty much liked Hermione throughout the book, and the bits about her parents made me tear up. It was such a perfect, sensible, *Hermione-ish* plan, and yet the very idea of a mother forgetting her child or a child knowing her parents don't know her, have forotten everything about her, is nightmarish. This seems to be another example of Hermione sensibly, efficiently, and with all the best intentions, doing absolutely monstrous things.
I wonder what happened to Umbridge, and how much of what she was doing was her own evil and how much came from the locket horcrux goading her on.
I seem to be blanking on the horcruxes -- weren't there supposed to be six (and Harry was the seventh)? I remember the cup, the tiara, the ring/stone, Nagini, the locket... OH DUH! The diary! I forgot about that being a horcrux.
I loved the pensieve conversations between Dumbledore and Snape--they were so deliciously snarky! Dumbledore was always so wise and mysterious and kindly with Harry, and it was refreshing to see him being more human, more *real* with Snape. And I liked that Snape pretty much gave as good as he got, as if once they'd come to an understanding they could be comfortable with each other. Dumbledore isn't particularly nice to Snape, but then I don't think Snape *cares*. Snape doesn't want Dumbledore to like him or be nice to him; he wants Dumbledore to keep his promises. Anyway, I loved those conversations.
The Epilogue
I thought it was lame and limiting, AND I thought it was the perfect ending for Harry. After all his sacrifices, he finally got what he'd always wanted--a normal life surrounded by a big, loving family. Not to everyone's taste by any means, but the perfect thing for Harry. (The perfect thing for Hermione? I'm not so sure.... Maybe if she's got a demanding, high-powered job, and Ron's got a laid-back, Mr. Mom thing going on. Because Hermione-as-housewife doesn't quite compute. Although, lots and lots of ambitious, smart women set aside their careers to embrace children and domesticity, and I suppose it's not outside the realm of possibility that Hermione could be one of them....)
I also loved Harry's kids' names. I was always baffled when reading fanfic that gave Harry children and named them anything other than Lily or James. I mean, was there ever any chance that he would name his first boy and first girl *anything* else? Am I the only one who thought that was an absolute given? (Says the woman whose children are named after their grandmothers, grandfather, father and uncles.) FWIW, I'd bet good money that James' middle name is Sirius.
The Wizarding World & Hogwarts
I've seen disappointment that nineteen years on nothing seems to have changed, and at first I was disappointed too, but I think I'm okay with it now. Harry was never about changing the world -- that was Hermione's thing. Harry is different than other wizards on a personal level--more openminded, treating other magical creatures with respect--but in the grand scheme of things was only ever about defeating Voldemort. Overturning the societal status quo is someone else's problem.
I also think that as much as JKR outlined the need for change, IMO she also oulined the reasons that change doesn't happen. The way the wizarding powers that be pander to the lowest common denominator; the way people prefer Rita's vicious, salacious gossip to the more boring, mundane truth; the way people will, as a rule, put their own personal issues/needs/desires ahead of idealistic ideas about right and wrong--all ensures that change isn't going to happen unless and until those who will benefit from change *make* it happen. Kind of like people in the real world.
And the whole house thing reminds me SO much of issues regarding the education of doctors (at least here in the U.S.). They work obscene hours, putting themselves and their patients at risk because they're not thinking straight due to sleep deprivation, and yet the powers that be are just dead set against change, almost every one of them I've ever heard talk about it taking the attitude that they did it back in their day, and the newbies should have to do it too. Pay their dues. Why should they get it easy when I had it so hard? Why should we change a system that worked just fine for me?
Why, there have been four houses since Hogwarts was founded! Who are these upstarts to say we should abolish the house system?! And house elves *like* what they do! And everyone knows goblins can't be trusted; just look at the things they've done. And it's not that there's anything *wrong* with muggleborns; they just don't understand how things are done in the wizarding world, what with being raised by muggles and all.... And so it goes.
Dumbledore
First of all, my GOD how slashy was the young Dumbledore/Grindelwald relationship? This was totally the love of Dumbledore's life, and I can only imagine what things would have been like if the disaster with his sister hadn't happened. Of course, the cynic in me thinks Grindelwald would have eventually turned on Dumbledore rather than share power with him, but the romantic in me thinks they might have lived (and ruled) happily (and scarily) ever after.
I liked the revelations about Dumbledore; they allowed me to understand and forgive him a little bit for his horrid schemes and manipulations. Aberforth was refreshingly brutal, and said all the things I've been thinking about Dumbledore for years. Why does having JKR acknowledge his awfulness, rather than holding him up as some sort of godly-fatherly figure who can do no wrong, make it more bearable? Who knows?
Harry
I really liked Harry in this book. He's grown and changed, become more likeable, more compassionate, less judgmental. He's begun to recognize the human capacity for change. The wandering in the wilderness seemed really long and drawn out (and boring), but it also got me feeling as bored and desperate and hopeless as Harry himself, wondering how in the hell a half-trained teenager was supposed to figure out all this shit that exceptionally talented wizards more than three times his age haven't figured out. I think it was more savior/Christ-ish stuff though -- the 40 days in the desert -- and when he comes out he's become a man, ready to take on the final challenge. Although Harry himself didn't seem to be entirely aware of it, that was the real turning point. ( I think it was sort of echoed in the way he looked with his long hair and beard, though he didn't seem completely aware of that, either.)
Although he has doubts and fears and human failings, Harry manages to stick to his beliefs, never stooping to the level of Voldemort or his followers, or even those on the "good" side who believed the ends justified any means. I liked that Harry even tried to gave Voldemort the chance to redeem himself, urging him to try for a bit of remorse (which, unless I misread what Dumbledore said earlier, was the only way he could). It felt real rather than taunting, if that makes any sense?
Lily & Ginny
I was really afraid that Lily was going to be a lot like Ginny and was pleasantly surprised that she wasn't. I found her to be really likeable. I think both her troubled relationship with Petunia and her friendship with Snape made her a richer, more compassionate person than Ginny is at the same age. It occurs to me that it will be Harry who influences Ginny to become a better person in their relationship the same way Lily influenced James.
It was nice to *not* see so much of Ginny in this book. When she did appear she was somewhat annoying--the jealousy was ridiculous!--but it helped to remind myself that she was just a sixteen year old girl. I thought it was kind of sad that Harry could push her aside the way he did, so clearly preferring the company of Ron and Hermione, but by the same token, I loved that he *did* want to be with Ron and Hermione, that it was the two of them he sought at the end, rather than the typical 'hero gets the girl run up together and kiss' cliche.
I was also kind of sad thinking that Harry was going to marry/spend his life with a woman who really had no idea of what he'd been through, but then I remembered that Harry isn't the least bit interested in what he's been through -- he wants *normal*. Being with someone who had shared all that with him might actually be more of a reminder than he'd be comfortable with.
Snape & Snape-n-Lily
I'm not quite sure what to make of the Snape/Lily relationship, but I am sure it was much, *much* more than a romantic crush. The fact that his feelings for her started in pre-adolescence and survived so long indicates to me that if there was a romantic component it was...not exactly irrelevant, but certainly not the most important thing. I'm willing to go with the idea of Snape being bi or gay (or for that matter, asexual) as far as physical attraction goes, because it's kind of irrelevant too. I mean, it doesn't matter who (if anyone) he has sex with, because there won't really be any love or commitment there -- every bit of his love and commitment was saved for Lily. (Though, FWIW, I do believe he had friendships and cared for people--such as Draco and [early on] McGonagall--I just think such relationships always existed within his personal mental boundaries of being true to Lily's memory.)
I'm also quite taken with the idea of Snape getting to his own personal King's Cross afterlife eqivalent and finding that Lily is waiting for him there.
Someone on my f'list was dismayed by these revelations about Snape, feeling they made him petty and small and unchanged from his DE days, and therefore unworthy of respect. I don't know. I actually like this aspect of Snape, and kind of respect and admire the fact that his reasons were always his own, and unrelated to any lofty ideals about good and evil. It's more honest. Maybe my reaction is related to one of my personal pet theories, which is that if you do the right thing for the wrong reason, you've still done the right thing, and what a person does is more important than why he does it. Actions always trump thoughts.
I also loved, loved, loved the fact that books ago, when Petunia mentioned "that awful boy," she was talking about Snape. Back then I believed she had to be talking about James. And speaking of James, I lreally liked the bit on the train, where James's behavior and speech is such a clear echo of Draco Malfoy's. And how Snape's and Lily's is such an echo of Harry's and Ron's. Which leads me to...
The Potters & the Malfoys
Although JKR doesn't really (have time to) get into this, I think that the blatant parallels between James and Draco, and the Potter and Malfoy families, are a part of Harry's new accepting, non-judgmental attitude. Both sets of parents loved their son to the extent that his life/safety overrode all other considerations. I think the fact that Harry saw the change in his own father, and in himself, gave him the ability to believe in change for Lucius and Draco. Harry's hatred for the Malfoy family turns to a benign indifference and his very judgmental attitude toward Draco turns to sincere compassion, and thus the wary, distant, but nevertheless (at least to me) genuine acknowlegement on the train platform.
At first I was a little disappointed that none of the Malfoys (especially Draco) ever explicitly changed their mind and crossed over to the "good" side. But the ambiguity is growing on me. All three of them are motivated by love for and a desperate desire to protect the other two, as well as a healthy instinct for self-preservation. I would've liked any one of them to actively help Harry, but maybe it's enough that when it counted they didn't actively hinder him. And I suppose it could be argued that Narcissa *did* actively help when she lied about Harry being dead. That act alone might have been all it took to save the entire family in the aftermath of V's death. And man, I think Narcissa is an absolutely *kick-ass* character!
I am the resurrection and the life....
I've seen comments indicating that the whimpering baby (and God, how gross and awful was *that* image!) was the part of Voldemort's soul that was in Harry, which makes sense, but when I read it I thought it was acually really Voldemort's soul--so split and warped and stunted that without a brain it was just...there. All the talk of the two of them being bonded and bound to each other led me to believe that while Harry was dead, Voldemort was too, thus everyone huddled around him trying to make sure he's all right. If Harry had decided to go on to the next adventure, Voldemort would have stayed dead, too--both of them dead in the clearing, just like Harry had expected it to be. (Now I'm wondering if I missed something.)
I liked that Harry had the option of either going back or going on--it seemed to underscore for me that he was really dead.
Miscellaneous stuff
I was unexpectedly touched by the Regulus story. So much was left to speculation, but I can't help thinking of the parallels with Harry -- how welcomed and loved he must've felt in Slytherin, seeker on the Quidditch team. How he must've blundered about on his own feeling as betrayed by Voldemort as Harry felt by Dumbledore, and then sacrificing himself, knowing it wasn't going to be enough, but doing it anyway because it was the only thing he could do. And God, what a horrible scene for Kreature! I wonder how much of the elf's warped personality was due to being ordered (and thus magically forced) to watch his beloved master go through all that and not lift a finger to help.
I pretty much liked Hermione throughout the book, and the bits about her parents made me tear up. It was such a perfect, sensible, *Hermione-ish* plan, and yet the very idea of a mother forgetting her child or a child knowing her parents don't know her, have forotten everything about her, is nightmarish. This seems to be another example of Hermione sensibly, efficiently, and with all the best intentions, doing absolutely monstrous things.
I wonder what happened to Umbridge, and how much of what she was doing was her own evil and how much came from the locket horcrux goading her on.
I seem to be blanking on the horcruxes -- weren't there supposed to be six (and Harry was the seventh)? I remember the cup, the tiara, the ring/stone, Nagini, the locket... OH DUH! The diary! I forgot about that being a horcrux.
I loved the pensieve conversations between Dumbledore and Snape--they were so deliciously snarky! Dumbledore was always so wise and mysterious and kindly with Harry, and it was refreshing to see him being more human, more *real* with Snape. And I liked that Snape pretty much gave as good as he got, as if once they'd come to an understanding they could be comfortable with each other. Dumbledore isn't particularly nice to Snape, but then I don't think Snape *cares*. Snape doesn't want Dumbledore to like him or be nice to him; he wants Dumbledore to keep his promises. Anyway, I loved those conversations.
The Epilogue
I thought it was lame and limiting, AND I thought it was the perfect ending for Harry. After all his sacrifices, he finally got what he'd always wanted--a normal life surrounded by a big, loving family. Not to everyone's taste by any means, but the perfect thing for Harry. (The perfect thing for Hermione? I'm not so sure.... Maybe if she's got a demanding, high-powered job, and Ron's got a laid-back, Mr. Mom thing going on. Because Hermione-as-housewife doesn't quite compute. Although, lots and lots of ambitious, smart women set aside their careers to embrace children and domesticity, and I suppose it's not outside the realm of possibility that Hermione could be one of them....)
I also loved Harry's kids' names. I was always baffled when reading fanfic that gave Harry children and named them anything other than Lily or James. I mean, was there ever any chance that he would name his first boy and first girl *anything* else? Am I the only one who thought that was an absolute given? (Says the woman whose children are named after their grandmothers, grandfather, father and uncles.) FWIW, I'd bet good money that James' middle name is Sirius.
The Wizarding World & Hogwarts
I've seen disappointment that nineteen years on nothing seems to have changed, and at first I was disappointed too, but I think I'm okay with it now. Harry was never about changing the world -- that was Hermione's thing. Harry is different than other wizards on a personal level--more openminded, treating other magical creatures with respect--but in the grand scheme of things was only ever about defeating Voldemort. Overturning the societal status quo is someone else's problem.
I also think that as much as JKR outlined the need for change, IMO she also oulined the reasons that change doesn't happen. The way the wizarding powers that be pander to the lowest common denominator; the way people prefer Rita's vicious, salacious gossip to the more boring, mundane truth; the way people will, as a rule, put their own personal issues/needs/desires ahead of idealistic ideas about right and wrong--all ensures that change isn't going to happen unless and until those who will benefit from change *make* it happen. Kind of like people in the real world.
And the whole house thing reminds me SO much of issues regarding the education of doctors (at least here in the U.S.). They work obscene hours, putting themselves and their patients at risk because they're not thinking straight due to sleep deprivation, and yet the powers that be are just dead set against change, almost every one of them I've ever heard talk about it taking the attitude that they did it back in their day, and the newbies should have to do it too. Pay their dues. Why should they get it easy when I had it so hard? Why should we change a system that worked just fine for me?
Why, there have been four houses since Hogwarts was founded! Who are these upstarts to say we should abolish the house system?! And house elves *like* what they do! And everyone knows goblins can't be trusted; just look at the things they've done. And it's not that there's anything *wrong* with muggleborns; they just don't understand how things are done in the wizarding world, what with being raised by muggles and all.... And so it goes.