I have GOT to vent. I'm really confused.
The Setup
So I have this friend. I've known him for about a year, and pretty much have always had a crush on him. He's actually more of an acquaintance, as he's friends with my friend. Anyway, I feel like there have always been sparks between us, but the timing was never right. Either one or both of us were seeing other people until recently.
About 3 weeks ago, we all got together for a bike ride and bar crawl. I wiped out and he took such good care of me. We ended up basically hugging and hanging out separately from the group for the rest of the night. At one point, he had his hand on the back of my neck and was rubbing my hair, it was adorable.
Then, on the 4th of July, we were super-affectionate with each other again. We sat together on the beach, he taught me to play frisbee, and we were walking around together, his arm around me. One of the times we were hugging, I whispered in his ear "I'm going to say something and tomorrow we can pretend it never happened" and then I told him I had a crush on him. His reaction was interesting, he said, "I dig that" and then, before he could elaborate, another friend came over and ask to speak to him about work. Later, I felt embarrassed, so I told him we could just pretend that never happened, but he kept saying that he wanted to talk about it. Unfortunately he had to leave and we never ended up talking.
On Monday night, we all went out for another friend's birthday and when he first showed up, things seemed a little awkward between us. At one point, while we were separated from the group, I said to him, "We're cool, right?" and he said yes, and then he mentioned talking again. I told him that it wasn't necessary, I didn't really deal with rejection well, so we could just pretend it never happened. He kept insisting that I'd misinterpreted his behavior and that's what he wanted to talk to me about, and how I was completely wrong. I reiterated that I didn't want to talk, as I was worried that the convo might make me feel stupid or sad. He told me that, on the contrary, he thought it would make me "smile." I thought that was interesting, but we never ended up talking again that night. We all ended up at his place and at the end of the night, he walked me out alone, we hugged and he said "hopefully we can talk soon." I asked him what he meant by soon, and he said sometime when it's not a huge group celebration (which are pretty much the only times I've seen him to this point). On the way home, I got a text from him asking to let him know when I got home and I replied back when I got home, thanking him for the concern. He replied back not to worry and "hopefully we'll chat soon."
The question
I guess my question is, if it's something that will "make me smile" why is it necessary to talk about? He just keeps insisting on having this conversation that I have repeatedly told him wasn't necessary. If it's something good, shouldn't he just act and not talk about it first? And also, obviously I have to wait for him to initiate the call, since it's his talk, but it's been a week, so I'm just wondering what the hold-up is. (I'm impatient and curious, can't you tell?) In my experience, if a guy is interested, he pursues. No talking necessary. However, this guy is quite different from anyone I've dated before. Really cerebral and sensitive, and a little shy. Does his behavior seem out of the ordinary?
So I have this friend. I've known him for about a year, and pretty much have always had a crush on him. He's actually more of an acquaintance, as he's friends with my friend. Anyway, I feel like there have always been sparks between us, but the timing was never right. Either one or both of us were seeing other people until recently.
About 3 weeks ago, we all got together for a bike ride and bar crawl. I wiped out and he took such good care of me. We ended up basically hugging and hanging out separately from the group for the rest of the night. At one point, he had his hand on the back of my neck and was rubbing my hair, it was adorable.
Then, on the 4th of July, we were super-affectionate with each other again. We sat together on the beach, he taught me to play frisbee, and we were walking around together, his arm around me. One of the times we were hugging, I whispered in his ear "I'm going to say something and tomorrow we can pretend it never happened" and then I told him I had a crush on him. His reaction was interesting, he said, "I dig that" and then, before he could elaborate, another friend came over and ask to speak to him about work. Later, I felt embarrassed, so I told him we could just pretend that never happened, but he kept saying that he wanted to talk about it. Unfortunately he had to leave and we never ended up talking.
On Monday night, we all went out for another friend's birthday and when he first showed up, things seemed a little awkward between us. At one point, while we were separated from the group, I said to him, "We're cool, right?" and he said yes, and then he mentioned talking again. I told him that it wasn't necessary, I didn't really deal with rejection well, so we could just pretend it never happened. He kept insisting that I'd misinterpreted his behavior and that's what he wanted to talk to me about, and how I was completely wrong. I reiterated that I didn't want to talk, as I was worried that the convo might make me feel stupid or sad. He told me that, on the contrary, he thought it would make me "smile." I thought that was interesting, but we never ended up talking again that night. We all ended up at his place and at the end of the night, he walked me out alone, we hugged and he said "hopefully we can talk soon." I asked him what he meant by soon, and he said sometime when it's not a huge group celebration (which are pretty much the only times I've seen him to this point). On the way home, I got a text from him asking to let him know when I got home and I replied back when I got home, thanking him for the concern. He replied back not to worry and "hopefully we'll chat soon."
The question
I guess my question is, if it's something that will "make me smile" why is it necessary to talk about? He just keeps insisting on having this conversation that I have repeatedly told him wasn't necessary. If it's something good, shouldn't he just act and not talk about it first? And also, obviously I have to wait for him to initiate the call, since it's his talk, but it's been a week, so I'm just wondering what the hold-up is. (I'm impatient and curious, can't you tell?) In my experience, if a guy is interested, he pursues. No talking necessary. However, this guy is quite different from anyone I've dated before. Really cerebral and sensitive, and a little shy. Does his behavior seem out of the ordinary?