Title: The Prodigal Father
Rating: PG-13
Category: Sheppard, Angst, Sheppard/Other
Summary: Life on Earth doesn’t stop just because you’re on a secret mission in another galaxy.
A/N: I liked the idea of the fic more than I like how it turned out.
It had been just over 15 months since John Sheppard had set foot in this typical American town in the state of Washington. He had felt he better make an appearance before he was sent off to Antarctica for his unspeakable crime of trying to save his friends lives. The last visit had seen tears, tantrums and vows that they would never speak again - but Sheppard had been reliably informed by his ex-wife that ten year old girls do tend to be over-dramatic.
She was in the garden, which he supposed was not unusual for a kid who must be twelve now - but he didn’t think twelve year olds actually did the gardening. John assumed it was for the purposes of earning an extra allowance.
He stood awkwardly at the gate and waited for her to notice him. He felt like he didn’t have the right to call her by her name and expect her to come running over to greet him. HE had always left it up to his ex-wife to set the tone for their meetings, and now he was doing the same for his daughter.
Shortly, she rose and made pretence of brushing dirt off jeans that were so grassed stained they were obviously reserved for gardening. She looked at him carefully and John felt like he and his intentions were being closely examined. Though it had only been 15 months she seemed so much older than just the passing of time could explain. It wasn’t the extra 3 inches she’d grown, or the way her jeans defined hips that gad not been there upon their last meeting - the added age was all in her eyes. It was something he had often seen in the eyes of the youth of the Pegasus galaxy.
“Hello,” she said plainly - John noted she didn’t call him Dad, but suspected he would have found that to strange anyway. “Have you been reassigned?”
“I was reassigned from Antarctica to another mission which I’m on a holiday from - I can’t really talk about it though,” He felt he owed her an explanation for his lack of contact.
“I think you’ll find I’m a little to old to be impressed by secret missions anymore,” she replied coolly. “However the extra money you’ve been sending has been a real help.”
John nodded, glad that he had in some way been able to support his child. Since he couldn’t exactly use American dollars in another galaxy he’d had all his wages transferred to his ex-wife’s account, with a small amount going into his own savings in case he made it back one day.
“Is your Mom in?” He ventured, hoping that his ex-wife might actually ease the tension here.
“She’s working. Why Tessa?”
John was a bit taken aback by the question, “Sorry?”
“Mom says you picked my name but she doesn’t know why - said she’d wanted Angela after my grand mother but you said Tessa and she agreed without thinking. So I wanted to know, why’d you call me Tessa? It’s the kind of thing somebody should know, really, isn’t it? How they got their name?”
John couldn’t believe he’d never told her why he picked the name Tessa. Such an act actually defeated the point of naming her Tessa at all.
“I named you after my sister.”
“So I have an Aunt Tessa out there somewhere. Does she know her niece is named after her?”
John shook his head, “No, she died long before you were born - when she was just a toddler. She had leukaemia.”
The Tessa of John’s present rather than his past had a look of concentration on her face, “So I was named after her in, like, her memory?”
“Yeah, when I held you for the first time I remembered that the last baby I’d held was actually Tessa. And then I thought I hadn’t remembered her in a long time, and perhaps I should be thinking of her more often. So I said to your Mom ‘How about Tessa?’ I think she was half asleep and just agreed with me, so I told the registrar your name was Tessa Angela Sheppard. And that’s how you got your name.”
“Cool,” she said. She stepped away from the gate, pulling it open towards her and flicking her head to indicate John should enter the garden.
“You seem a lot older,” John said. He’d actually been wanted to say it ever since he’d first looked into her eyes.
“Mom won’t be home till half nine,” she said, ignoring his comment, shutting the gate behind him and walking towards the porch. “Did you want to see Jack?”
“Jack?” Said John. “Did you get a dog or something?”
Tessa turned sharply on the path and gave him another intense look. John shifted uncomfortably and wondered if Tessa was allergic to dogs or something and he was supposed to remember that. Knowing his luck Jack would be a python.
However, after a small sigh, Tessa said something else entirely, “Jack was the product of your last visit.”
It was then that John spotted the cot on the porch, a sight that caused him to stop dead in his tracks whilst he tried to prevent a panic attack. He saw small hands batting at the mobile that hung overhead and caught a happy gurgle on the breeze when Tessa bent over the cot.
“He learnt to sit up 3 days ago,” Tessa said proudly, with a baby of around 6 months balanced carefully on her hip.
She brought the child over to him, probably realising that he was still a bit shocked to find he had fathered another accidental baby, “Mom works everyday from three till nine so I look after him after school.”
“You had to grow up,” said John, reaching out a hand to the little boy that was confidently grabbed and examined. Tessa passed Jack over to him outright, and the baby started to tug at the chain that held his dog tags with curiosity.
“You could say that,” Tessa replied. “You had no idea did you? That Mom was pregnant again?”
“Oh, God, no. Why didn’t she tell me?”
“You do know Mom is more than a little crazy don’t you? She isn’t exactly the best Mom in the world. Truth be told Jack might not even be yours but I’d say the odds are pretty good - he has my eyes, and Mom always told me I had your eyes.”
It was true. They were also the same eyes that his sister Tessa had possessed. John’s mother had met his daughter before her last and fatal stroke and had said the same thing. She’d then spent the rest of the meeting crying tears of sadness for her lost daughter and tears of joy for her first grandchild. Jack looked up at him with those same eyes, and if John had any kind of paternal instinct it certainly seemed to be flaring up with this baby in his arms.
Tessa took the baby away. “He needs to be put down or he’ll get fussy. I’m not sure you should see Mom. She said to me that you can induce spontaneous ovulation in women. I don’t know what that means but I think it’s something to do with making babies and one is more than enough to look after. Plus you two will fight and wake Jack.”
“So you think it would be best if I just went?” John tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. He was being dismissed by his daughter, who held his son, because in over 3 hours his ex wife would be home. And she was actually holding her hand out for him to shake.
He decided to screw the rule he made himself about letting her set the tone, and instead pulled her into a hug, baby and all, “Oh God Tessa what you must think of me. I’m sorry.”
Tessa extracted herself elegantly from John’s arms, as if she had had to do so a hundred times before. She bounced Jack on her hip in an effort to stop him whinging, as John remembered doing for her all those years ago.
“I forgive you,” was all she said.
“I...” but John was barely allowed to start his next thoughts, as Tessa held up a hand clearly intended to silence him.
“I know about the world, you were, like, 21 when I was born. You only married Mom cause that was the thing to do - so that was never gonna work. You’ve kept a roof over our heads, and you came to visit when you could. In a way might be a bit better that way - if I don’t know where you are I don’t have to worry about you dying in Iraq or something. And I know you wouldn’t have abandoned Jack till now - I always suspected Mom didn’t tell you. And I’m like, sorry, if it hurts you but right now - I don’t need a Dad. I’ve done fine up till now with the odd birthday card and surprise visits. That’s just you, and I’m okay with that, all right?”
The speech had a slightly rehearsed air, but John didn’t think he was going to gain any points by mentioning that. Though many a father would tell their twelve year old's that they know what’s best, John could not be one of them.
“I’ll come visit next time I’m...around. Is that okay?”
Tessa nodded, and John turned to leave. When he was at the gate he heard her call out.
“Is there an address?” He turned back to face her. “Where I can send letters that might eventually find their way to you? Updates on Jack and stuff?”
John really didn’t know whether they’d have mail now that they had a connection to Earth. “There might be. I’ll find out and write to you?”
Tessa nodded and went back into the house. She was right when she said she didn’t need a father, she was clearly strong enough to withstand most of what life threw at her. But if she ever did need one, or want him to be one, he would try his best.