fic: my thoughts will echo your name (until I see you again).
Title: my thoughts will echo your name (until I see you again).
Fandom: Supernatural RPS.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki (J2)
Words: ~1,500.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them (oh, how I do) but I don't and I make no profit with this story.
Notes: Written for joedemi, whose prompt was a J2 fic inspired by the song "Enchanted". I hope you like it, girl *hug*
Obviously the title is from the song "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift. I recommend listening to it while reading because it sets a good atmosphere.
This is my first J2 story, so please be gentle.
_________
Jensen sighs, like he’s been doing every second since the very beginning of the night. It’s not that he hates parties, really, it isn’t. It’s just that he hates this kind of parties.
Fake smiles, awkward handshakes, feeling alone in a room full of people. It’s something that he has learnt to deal with but that he’ll never enjoy. He doesn’t like walking around introducing himself to new people, he doesn’t need more friends in his life. He’s content with what he has, the people willing to share his life with him are more than enough and he’s sure his coworkers are nice, genuine people, but the only thing Jensen has in common with most of them is that they work in the same network and that isn’t reason enough for him to consider them interesting.
When he started in the business he never could have imagined the baggage that came with being an actor. He acts because for a minute he feels like can get into someone else’s head and forget the real world in which he has certain pressures and obligations, but he didn’t become an actor for the fame or because he wanted people to recognize his face everyday. Lately more so, he’s been questioning how people see him, he’s been doubting his purpose in life because he feels more and more tired as each day passes.
He feels tired of hiding himself just because his real personality doesn’t seem to fit the character he’s playing at a certain time. And it’s not only the problem about his sexuality, because it’s not like Jensen hides the fact that he is gay. His bosses know so, his family and friends too, but he doesn’t feel the need to announce it to the world which will take some kind of fascination in something that is as natural as breathing for him.
It’s more the fact that sometimes the world gets to be too much for him and all he wants to do is lock himself away but life doesn’t let him. People don’t let him live his own life and they seem to think that just because he plays one of their favourite characters on TV they get to have a part of him, a part that they take away without his permission.
It’s been a while since Jensen’s known who he is.
And he sighs again, because today another party, another lie. Another time to lose himself in meaningless compliments told by people that won’t even remember his name in the morning.
He sees the people, he hears their voices, he smiles politely and hopes for it to end. He makes comments in all the right places and throws a couple of sir’s and ma’am’s into the conversation that make every man in the room feel like they can trust him and every woman in the room swoon.
But if they stopped for a minute, hell, if they stopped for a second to really look at him, they would be able to feel the coldness in his touch and notice how his eyes don’t really carry a light with them anymore.
He’s going down, there’s no escape for him and he isn’t trying to stop the fall, doesn’t want to stop the fall. Maybe, if he just lets himself hit the lowest point, everything will be easier. No more concerns, or secrets. Just him alone at the bottom of the world.
He’s really considering this option, he really thinks it could work but when the decision is almost made, when Jensen feels the tip of his thoughts touching the ground of that unexplored place in his own mind, he feels a hand lifting him up. He feels that hand moved by an energy coming from a man across the room. An energy so strong that hits Jensen in the middle of his chest, maybe a little to his left, and steals his breath away.
Jensen meets the mysterious guy’s eyes from his place and in that moment he swears it doesn’t matter how little he knows of himself because if he could get to know piece by piece the gorgeous, tall man, the rest would come to him eventually.
Jensen’s lips curve up in a smile when he recognizes the interest written across the guy’s face. A shiver runs through his spine just like he would like running his hands through that floppy hair while he licks at a slow pace both of the man’s cute dimples.
“God,” Jensen thinks, “so not appropriate thoughts to be having right here, right now.”
For the first time in a long time, possibly ever, Jensen finds himself wanting to be the centre of attention. He wants to be the centre of the man’s attention.
Jensen has never spoken to him, never even seen him around in other network parties and yet he’s able to decipher the language the guy’s eyes speak.
“Have we met?”, they’re asking.
And Jensen’s response is a loud and clear, “No, but I want to.”
The guy starts to move towards him and Jensen is mesmerized. He looks around and is surprised to find that he’s the only one paying attention to the man. How can people be so blind to the beauty around them? How can they ignore a work of art when it’s right in front of them?
Jensen can’t pull his eyes away from the scene and it’s not like he wants to, either. He can say without a doubt that this is the most gorgeous man he has ever seen and yet, the way he walks, the way he carries himself suggests that he doesn’t make use of that fact. That he doesn’t seem to want attention just by his looks alone. There’s something more in him, in his aura.
The people surrounding the guy try to stop him for a word or two, but he is determined to get somewhere and a flash of hope rushes through Jensen just thinking about being the lucky person the guy is reaching out for.
The tall man takes his time to cross the room, pace not too fast, not too slow. There’s a magic in the way he moves, kind of like a secret code and Jensen likes to imagine it was made for him to resolve. Jensen finds himself thinking that he wouldn’t mind spending his whole life trying to get it right.
After what feels like a million years, the guy is passing by him, barely grazing him. Their hands brush and Jensen gets sudden images of what this mystery man’s life could be like. What he could be getting into just by getting to know him.
Jensen creates in his mind certain memories, certain people that this guys could have met in the course of his years, people important enough to leave an imprint on his soul, important enough that they shaped the guy’s personality making him be who he is today. There are girls, there are guys. Some are family, some are friends, and then, there are those lucky enough to have had seen the tall man on his highest moments, lucky enough to have shared the heat of his naked skin on theirs.
Jensen swears at the possessive flare he feels for a man he hasn’t even had. “YET!,” his mind screams at him. And indeed, yet.
Like a magnet, Jensen is attracted to the stranger and excusing himself (it’s not like he’s going to be missed in the conversation), he follows the tall man outside the building without ever thinking this could be too much of a risk. He’s not afraid, he doesn’t question his motivations for once, because for the first time ever, Jensen feels whole while following his body’s, mind’s and heart’s desires.
With the first breath of fresh air, Jensen promises himself that he’s going to be the most important person in this guy’s life. He’s going to make him forget every other person the beautiful stranger could have ever wanted. Jensen will make him lose control, he wants the stranger to go crazy, as crazy as he is already without having laid hands on him. God, he’s so gone and Jensen regrets nothing.
He doesn’t give himself time to back down and reconsider things. He walks straight to the stranger and puts a hand on his shoulder. The guy doesn’t startle, he just stands there like he’s been waiting for Jensen’s arrival all his life.
Finally, he faces Jensen and every doubt Jensen could have had vanishes. He’s sure this is exactly where he’s supposed to be, and he’s also sure that life has been leading him to this very moment.
Jensen offers his hand and, with a smile he hopes tells everything he’s feeling and that he wouldn’t be able to put in words, he starts the most important conversation he will ever have without knowing so:
“I’m Jensen.”
He gets the most blinding smile in return. He gets himself in return, after years of searching in all the wrong places.
“Jared.”
And, in that one name, Jensen finds his future.
♥
Fandom: Supernatural RPS.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki (J2)
Words: ~1,500.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them (oh, how I do) but I don't and I make no profit with this story.
Notes: Written for joedemi, whose prompt was a J2 fic inspired by the song "Enchanted". I hope you like it, girl *hug*
Obviously the title is from the song "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift. I recommend listening to it while reading because it sets a good atmosphere.
This is my first J2 story, so please be gentle.
_________
Jensen sighs, like he’s been doing every second since the very beginning of the night. It’s not that he hates parties, really, it isn’t. It’s just that he hates this kind of parties.
Fake smiles, awkward handshakes, feeling alone in a room full of people. It’s something that he has learnt to deal with but that he’ll never enjoy. He doesn’t like walking around introducing himself to new people, he doesn’t need more friends in his life. He’s content with what he has, the people willing to share his life with him are more than enough and he’s sure his coworkers are nice, genuine people, but the only thing Jensen has in common with most of them is that they work in the same network and that isn’t reason enough for him to consider them interesting.
When he started in the business he never could have imagined the baggage that came with being an actor. He acts because for a minute he feels like can get into someone else’s head and forget the real world in which he has certain pressures and obligations, but he didn’t become an actor for the fame or because he wanted people to recognize his face everyday. Lately more so, he’s been questioning how people see him, he’s been doubting his purpose in life because he feels more and more tired as each day passes.
He feels tired of hiding himself just because his real personality doesn’t seem to fit the character he’s playing at a certain time. And it’s not only the problem about his sexuality, because it’s not like Jensen hides the fact that he is gay. His bosses know so, his family and friends too, but he doesn’t feel the need to announce it to the world which will take some kind of fascination in something that is as natural as breathing for him.
It’s more the fact that sometimes the world gets to be too much for him and all he wants to do is lock himself away but life doesn’t let him. People don’t let him live his own life and they seem to think that just because he plays one of their favourite characters on TV they get to have a part of him, a part that they take away without his permission.
It’s been a while since Jensen’s known who he is.
And he sighs again, because today another party, another lie. Another time to lose himself in meaningless compliments told by people that won’t even remember his name in the morning.
He sees the people, he hears their voices, he smiles politely and hopes for it to end. He makes comments in all the right places and throws a couple of sir’s and ma’am’s into the conversation that make every man in the room feel like they can trust him and every woman in the room swoon.
But if they stopped for a minute, hell, if they stopped for a second to really look at him, they would be able to feel the coldness in his touch and notice how his eyes don’t really carry a light with them anymore.
He’s going down, there’s no escape for him and he isn’t trying to stop the fall, doesn’t want to stop the fall. Maybe, if he just lets himself hit the lowest point, everything will be easier. No more concerns, or secrets. Just him alone at the bottom of the world.
He’s really considering this option, he really thinks it could work but when the decision is almost made, when Jensen feels the tip of his thoughts touching the ground of that unexplored place in his own mind, he feels a hand lifting him up. He feels that hand moved by an energy coming from a man across the room. An energy so strong that hits Jensen in the middle of his chest, maybe a little to his left, and steals his breath away.
Jensen meets the mysterious guy’s eyes from his place and in that moment he swears it doesn’t matter how little he knows of himself because if he could get to know piece by piece the gorgeous, tall man, the rest would come to him eventually.
Jensen’s lips curve up in a smile when he recognizes the interest written across the guy’s face. A shiver runs through his spine just like he would like running his hands through that floppy hair while he licks at a slow pace both of the man’s cute dimples.
“God,” Jensen thinks, “so not appropriate thoughts to be having right here, right now.”
For the first time in a long time, possibly ever, Jensen finds himself wanting to be the centre of attention. He wants to be the centre of the man’s attention.
Jensen has never spoken to him, never even seen him around in other network parties and yet he’s able to decipher the language the guy’s eyes speak.
“Have we met?”, they’re asking.
And Jensen’s response is a loud and clear, “No, but I want to.”
The guy starts to move towards him and Jensen is mesmerized. He looks around and is surprised to find that he’s the only one paying attention to the man. How can people be so blind to the beauty around them? How can they ignore a work of art when it’s right in front of them?
Jensen can’t pull his eyes away from the scene and it’s not like he wants to, either. He can say without a doubt that this is the most gorgeous man he has ever seen and yet, the way he walks, the way he carries himself suggests that he doesn’t make use of that fact. That he doesn’t seem to want attention just by his looks alone. There’s something more in him, in his aura.
The people surrounding the guy try to stop him for a word or two, but he is determined to get somewhere and a flash of hope rushes through Jensen just thinking about being the lucky person the guy is reaching out for.
The tall man takes his time to cross the room, pace not too fast, not too slow. There’s a magic in the way he moves, kind of like a secret code and Jensen likes to imagine it was made for him to resolve. Jensen finds himself thinking that he wouldn’t mind spending his whole life trying to get it right.
After what feels like a million years, the guy is passing by him, barely grazing him. Their hands brush and Jensen gets sudden images of what this mystery man’s life could be like. What he could be getting into just by getting to know him.
Jensen creates in his mind certain memories, certain people that this guys could have met in the course of his years, people important enough to leave an imprint on his soul, important enough that they shaped the guy’s personality making him be who he is today. There are girls, there are guys. Some are family, some are friends, and then, there are those lucky enough to have had seen the tall man on his highest moments, lucky enough to have shared the heat of his naked skin on theirs.
Jensen swears at the possessive flare he feels for a man he hasn’t even had. “YET!,” his mind screams at him. And indeed, yet.
Like a magnet, Jensen is attracted to the stranger and excusing himself (it’s not like he’s going to be missed in the conversation), he follows the tall man outside the building without ever thinking this could be too much of a risk. He’s not afraid, he doesn’t question his motivations for once, because for the first time ever, Jensen feels whole while following his body’s, mind’s and heart’s desires.
With the first breath of fresh air, Jensen promises himself that he’s going to be the most important person in this guy’s life. He’s going to make him forget every other person the beautiful stranger could have ever wanted. Jensen will make him lose control, he wants the stranger to go crazy, as crazy as he is already without having laid hands on him. God, he’s so gone and Jensen regrets nothing.
He doesn’t give himself time to back down and reconsider things. He walks straight to the stranger and puts a hand on his shoulder. The guy doesn’t startle, he just stands there like he’s been waiting for Jensen’s arrival all his life.
Finally, he faces Jensen and every doubt Jensen could have had vanishes. He’s sure this is exactly where he’s supposed to be, and he’s also sure that life has been leading him to this very moment.
Jensen offers his hand and, with a smile he hopes tells everything he’s feeling and that he wouldn’t be able to put in words, he starts the most important conversation he will ever have without knowing so:
“I’m Jensen.”
He gets the most blinding smile in return. He gets himself in return, after years of searching in all the wrong places.
“Jared.”
And, in that one name, Jensen finds his future.
♥