for the record, this song is by the pillows, but it wouldn't all fit.
ok, ok, i've been asked politely, i've been pleaded with, i've even been LiveJournal "nudged" [i swear, the world is turning into facebook.]. so i'm here. i'm back. and i'm sorry.
that said, i can't say how long it will last. i was trying to figure out why i haven't updated my livejournal in 17 weeks [as Annie's nudge was kind enough to tell me...], and i really couldn't. i mean, obviously i've been busy, but i was busy in high school. i would never be sitting in my room, drinking orange juice at 11:15 in high school, but that's what i'm doing right now [note, i started this this morning and then had 5 and a half hours of class, so this was true when i wrote it. now i'm just eating candy corn].
so why do i find myself out of touch with the thing that used to be my lifeline? "out of touch" is even an understatement. i haven't even put pictures up since october, which i foolishly promised i would do. my activity in the jmusic community has all but stopped, which i guess isn't horrible in and of itself, but i miss it, and still i can't get back to it. i don't even know who has new music out, and i feel like now, i've missed so much that i'll never get up to speed again. ditto for Crossing Borders, which is up to chapter 60, as i found out this morning.
these are the times when i feel like the internet is mocking me. "see? see what you're missing now that you have a modicum of a life outside of LJ?" and yeah, i do see. and it kind of sucks. even if i didn't write in my LJ, at least i could READ my friends', but i don't.
and this all sort of makes me wonder. i mean, this isn't something i take great joy in saying. i'm not proud of the fact that i'm abandoning things that i care[d?] about. but i'm pretty sure this is what happens, at least to some extent, when you go to college. there is just shit going on ALL THE TIME and even for a self-proclaimed social reject, it's hard not to get absorbed in it. you move into a different life, whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, whether you even leave home or not.
this, of course, is not to say that i couldn't still update my livejournal. tons of my friends here still do it. obviously my friends from high school still do it. i don't know though... the impetus to do it is gone for some reason. i'm enjoying it, but it's not the same.
which could definitely be applied more broadly.
i guess the short answer to all the poking is this: sorry. i'll see what i can do about it. now i'm curious, actually, as to why i stopped doing something that was such a part of everyday life. if i am distancing myself, it was quite unconsciously done, so please don't take offense to it. i wager it's probably just because i have a hard enough time dealing with everything here to integrate that whole dimension, that whole chunk of my former existence, back into my life. it's a work in progress, this whole balance thing, but then i've developed tons of theories about ageing and priorities that are far too depressing to mention, so i won't. i'll just say - happy birthday, chris. you are now legal and therefore i hate you.
but i love pretty much everyone else, i think.
that said, i can't say how long it will last. i was trying to figure out why i haven't updated my livejournal in 17 weeks [as Annie's nudge was kind enough to tell me...], and i really couldn't. i mean, obviously i've been busy, but i was busy in high school. i would never be sitting in my room, drinking orange juice at 11:15 in high school, but that's what i'm doing right now [note, i started this this morning and then had 5 and a half hours of class, so this was true when i wrote it. now i'm just eating candy corn].
so why do i find myself out of touch with the thing that used to be my lifeline? "out of touch" is even an understatement. i haven't even put pictures up since october, which i foolishly promised i would do. my activity in the jmusic community has all but stopped, which i guess isn't horrible in and of itself, but i miss it, and still i can't get back to it. i don't even know who has new music out, and i feel like now, i've missed so much that i'll never get up to speed again. ditto for Crossing Borders, which is up to chapter 60, as i found out this morning.
these are the times when i feel like the internet is mocking me. "see? see what you're missing now that you have a modicum of a life outside of LJ?" and yeah, i do see. and it kind of sucks. even if i didn't write in my LJ, at least i could READ my friends', but i don't.
and this all sort of makes me wonder. i mean, this isn't something i take great joy in saying. i'm not proud of the fact that i'm abandoning things that i care[d?] about. but i'm pretty sure this is what happens, at least to some extent, when you go to college. there is just shit going on ALL THE TIME and even for a self-proclaimed social reject, it's hard not to get absorbed in it. you move into a different life, whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, whether you even leave home or not.
this, of course, is not to say that i couldn't still update my livejournal. tons of my friends here still do it. obviously my friends from high school still do it. i don't know though... the impetus to do it is gone for some reason. i'm enjoying it, but it's not the same.
which could definitely be applied more broadly.
i guess the short answer to all the poking is this: sorry. i'll see what i can do about it. now i'm curious, actually, as to why i stopped doing something that was such a part of everyday life. if i am distancing myself, it was quite unconsciously done, so please don't take offense to it. i wager it's probably just because i have a hard enough time dealing with everything here to integrate that whole dimension, that whole chunk of my former existence, back into my life. it's a work in progress, this whole balance thing, but then i've developed tons of theories about ageing and priorities that are far too depressing to mention, so i won't. i'll just say - happy birthday, chris. you are now legal and therefore i hate you.
but i love pretty much everyone else, i think.