Harry Potter fic: Birds
Title: Birds
Pairing: None
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Sirius and Remus approach the subject of birds
Author's Notes: this is my failed attempt to write a fic without porn. It's been a while.
Conversations had ceased in the dormitory, until Sirius broke the comfortable silence that Remus had been enjoying. “Moony, you like birds, right?”
The two of them lay on their respective beds; their fellow marauders out and about, Remus was reading through a book, while Sirius read Wizard’s Weekly.
“Yes Padfoot,” Remus replied, lazily flipping a page. Though I hope you’re not planning on buying me one of those for my birthday.”
“Thought you were against that kind of thing Moony,” Sirius scoffed. “Seeing as how they’ve got feelings and stuff.”
Remus frowned. “Padfoot, we are talking about the feathered kind of birds right?”
Sirius laughed. “What? No Moony! I meant birds-girls Moony.”
“Oh.” Remus said. “Well in that case, um, yeah they’re alright.” He went back to reading his book.
“Alright?!” Sirius exclaimed. “Alright Moony?”
Remus looked over at Sirius. “Fine. They’re fantastic.”
Sirius cocked an eyebrow. “Really? C’mon Moony.”
“Shut up Padfoot,” Remus murmured. “I like birds okay?”
“Well obviously you haven’t been hanging out with the right birds,” Sirius mused. “If they’re just alright.”
“Drop it Sirius!” Remus snapped at him. “Birds are fantastic okay?”
They fell into an awkward silence. Sirius started at the roof of his bed while Remus read his book furiously.
After a few minutes, Sirius sat up on his bed, looking over at Remus with curiosity.
“Y’know...Moony...” he began.
Remus started intently at his book.
“Y’know...it’s not...I mean...” he let out a puff of air. “What I mean is...it’d be okay if you didn’t think birds were fantastic?”
“The feathered kind?” Remus grumbled.
“The girly kind.” Sirius corrected him. “Because James and Peter and me-“
“-and I-“
“-and I, we all think birds are fantastic, but it doesn’t mean you have to, yeah?” Sirius shrugged. “I mean, we all love skipping class, but you don’t.”
“That’s a bit different Sirius.”
“I know, but the point still stands.”
They fell into silence again. Eventually Remus cleared his throat and said, still looking at his book. “Well then, no, Sirius. I guess I don’t really like birds.”
“...the feathered kind?” Sirius ventured tentatively.
“The girly kind,” Remus corrected him.
Sirius nodded, as if contemplating this new information.
“So Moony...” he began. “Do you like...stags?”
Remus looked at Sirius with alarm. “Padfoot...what...”
Sirius let out a noise of frustration. “BLOKES MOONY! DO YOU LIKE BLOKES?!”
“No need to yell,” Remus mumbled. Sirius just looked at him expectantly. “Does it really matter?”
Sirius laughed. “Of course it does Moony!”
Remus’ face fell.
“Just think; we’ve been teasing you about birds this whole time-no wonder it doesn’t bother you-when we should have been teasing you about blokes!”
Remus frowned. “That’s all that matters? Who you’ll tease me about?”
Sirius rolled his eyes, like Remus was slow. “Of course Moony. James’ got Evans, Peter’s hilarious with girls, and me,” he grinned. “Well I’m an Adonis of course; nothing to tease.”
“Except for that time with Marlene Mckinnon-“
“We vowed never to speak of that,” Sirius pointed a finger.
Remus just smiled. “Blokes.”
Sirius’ eyes widened a little, but he nodded. Remus, assuming that the conversation had finished, went back to reading his book. A few moments later he felt the bed sink as Sirius sat down next to him.
“So Moony...” he began.
Remus sighed like someone who was long-suffering. “Yes Sirius?”
Sirius cleared his throat. “Uh, blokes are pretty fantastic, yeah?”
Pairing: None
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Sirius and Remus approach the subject of birds
Author's Notes: this is my failed attempt to write a fic without porn. It's been a while.
Conversations had ceased in the dormitory, until Sirius broke the comfortable silence that Remus had been enjoying. “Moony, you like birds, right?”
The two of them lay on their respective beds; their fellow marauders out and about, Remus was reading through a book, while Sirius read Wizard’s Weekly.
“Yes Padfoot,” Remus replied, lazily flipping a page. Though I hope you’re not planning on buying me one of those for my birthday.”
“Thought you were against that kind of thing Moony,” Sirius scoffed. “Seeing as how they’ve got feelings and stuff.”
Remus frowned. “Padfoot, we are talking about the feathered kind of birds right?”
Sirius laughed. “What? No Moony! I meant birds-girls Moony.”
“Oh.” Remus said. “Well in that case, um, yeah they’re alright.” He went back to reading his book.
“Alright?!” Sirius exclaimed. “Alright Moony?”
Remus looked over at Sirius. “Fine. They’re fantastic.”
Sirius cocked an eyebrow. “Really? C’mon Moony.”
“Shut up Padfoot,” Remus murmured. “I like birds okay?”
“Well obviously you haven’t been hanging out with the right birds,” Sirius mused. “If they’re just alright.”
“Drop it Sirius!” Remus snapped at him. “Birds are fantastic okay?”
They fell into an awkward silence. Sirius started at the roof of his bed while Remus read his book furiously.
After a few minutes, Sirius sat up on his bed, looking over at Remus with curiosity.
“Y’know...Moony...” he began.
Remus started intently at his book.
“Y’know...it’s not...I mean...” he let out a puff of air. “What I mean is...it’d be okay if you didn’t think birds were fantastic?”
“The feathered kind?” Remus grumbled.
“The girly kind.” Sirius corrected him. “Because James and Peter and me-“
“-and I-“
“-and I, we all think birds are fantastic, but it doesn’t mean you have to, yeah?” Sirius shrugged. “I mean, we all love skipping class, but you don’t.”
“That’s a bit different Sirius.”
“I know, but the point still stands.”
They fell into silence again. Eventually Remus cleared his throat and said, still looking at his book. “Well then, no, Sirius. I guess I don’t really like birds.”
“...the feathered kind?” Sirius ventured tentatively.
“The girly kind,” Remus corrected him.
Sirius nodded, as if contemplating this new information.
“So Moony...” he began. “Do you like...stags?”
Remus looked at Sirius with alarm. “Padfoot...what...”
Sirius let out a noise of frustration. “BLOKES MOONY! DO YOU LIKE BLOKES?!”
“No need to yell,” Remus mumbled. Sirius just looked at him expectantly. “Does it really matter?”
Sirius laughed. “Of course it does Moony!”
Remus’ face fell.
“Just think; we’ve been teasing you about birds this whole time-no wonder it doesn’t bother you-when we should have been teasing you about blokes!”
Remus frowned. “That’s all that matters? Who you’ll tease me about?”
Sirius rolled his eyes, like Remus was slow. “Of course Moony. James’ got Evans, Peter’s hilarious with girls, and me,” he grinned. “Well I’m an Adonis of course; nothing to tease.”
“Except for that time with Marlene Mckinnon-“
“We vowed never to speak of that,” Sirius pointed a finger.
Remus just smiled. “Blokes.”
Sirius’ eyes widened a little, but he nodded. Remus, assuming that the conversation had finished, went back to reading his book. A few moments later he felt the bed sink as Sirius sat down next to him.
“So Moony...” he began.
Remus sighed like someone who was long-suffering. “Yes Sirius?”
Sirius cleared his throat. “Uh, blokes are pretty fantastic, yeah?”