tl dr the reason I've been offline
Today's the first time in a while I can pop my head above water and look around at life and not be freaking out. Work has been intense and has been making me question my willingness to even fight for a contract renewal. As a result, this post will be mostly bitching.
I, as director of the VIsual Art major, am part of a wider programme that includes the Film and Graphic Design majors, and this programme is called Visual Cultures. In theory it's supposed to provide a grounding for students in recognition that we live in an intensely visual world and none of our disciplines happens in a vacuum. This information will be relevant in a minute.
Now. There is no actual call for my job, whose contract ends this summer. Therefore, no prescribed recruitment procedure, and no clue if I'll even be interviewed. That's because the university has a recruitment freeze and so are opening no new tenure track positions - it's bad enough that a director of major position is a one-year contract. How can you get anything done in those conditions? There've been 3 directors of Visual Art major in 4 years and no wonder the major is losing steam. Thankfully, they have me, who's willing to hop on an annual contract renewal. Unfortunately, they don't know that that's a great thing.
Meanwhile, the head of Graphic Design, Bahia, is qSheuietly conducting her own little campaign for a different person to be head of major. This I object to MASSIVELY. Firstly, everyone has the right to propose people for an open job - I understand it is not 'mine'. I also understand that people might have different visions. SO, in those conditions - yes, Bahia has every right to field a candidate. I'd do the same if a position in Graphic Design were open, and I knew a good candidate.
The difference here, though, is:
1) Bahia's a total fucking evil power hungry bitch
2) Who I have never had a single sit down conversation with, despite numerous invitations to have joint meetings, as is entirely appropriate and necessary as we are peers within the same Visual Cultures programme. So if she has not faith in my major, I am struggling to know on what basis she's made that assessment.
3) She knows fuck all about Visual Art in Egypt. I mean nothing. Nothing in Egypt, nothing at all. Less than I know about graphic design in Egypt. And I would hesitate to propose HER replacement.
4) She's not just suggesting a candidate. She's managed to finagle TWO interviews between her candidate and the Dean, without the Chair of the Arts knowing (ie, jumping over the Chair's head to push her buddy to the fore)
5) Her candidate is THE WORST FUCKING IDEA I COULD EVER IMAGINE and I'm not just saying that because my job's at stake. Everyone who's heard about it has basically blanched at the idea that this asshole could be running the AUC Visual Art major. He's one of these intellectually redundant sellouts that gets minor respect from misguided foreign curators looking for an easy 'Egypt' work, and favoured by the state apparatus, but who is otherwise a total joke and embarassment to the art scene in Egypt, yet is some sort of heavyweight. AND he's a total asshole. But, he's extremely powerful. And it KILLS me that this fucked up recruitment procedure involves only the informal, politically motivated power plays of people who know NOTHING about art in Egypt but who want their buddies in good positions. This guy would take the major in such shoddy directions. And she doesn't even know that she doesn't know. She's so ignorant she doesn't even know what my experience means. She thinks THIS guy is the shizz. To anyone who new about art, that would tell you enough. Unfortunately, due to this fucked up procedure, no-one who actually knows about art is remotely involved in the selection.
6) She's bad-mouthing the department. I met with some visiting curators lately, who were really great, and eventually they were like ... 'yeah, we met your colleague. She said there were disagreements in the department about the arts...' and they didn't say more because they were clearly embarrassed. And they should be, because that's totally fucking unprofessional. I had THAT VERY WEEK called a meeting to discuss the direction of Visual Cultures and hit those kinds of issues head on, and it got completely squashed. I don't mind people discussing disputes when there's an open and transparent discussion happening above board in the department, but that's not happening despite my efforts. You don't go about bitching to others about 'problems' (there are no problems except YOUR lack of cooperation) without actually raising those with your colleagues in the first place.
So that last episode was the final straw out of many episodes not described here of her sidelining me and I had a massive discussion with the Chair of Arts, John. Who I have mixed feelings about.
CON-
Patronises me; patriarchal
Knows even less than Bahia about Visual Art (he's Music); I'd say he's verging on the antagonistic
Gives me whiskery cheek-kisses or hand-on-arm moments WAY too often, which I would not tolerate if I weren't dependent on him for my job
Doesn't recognise the rampant bullshit going on under his very nose.
PRO-
Genuinely nice and supportive guy who seems to like me
Take his role as Chair very seriously
Can set aside his ignorance about art and tries to trust his colleagues' experience, ie act professionally
Thankfully, John saw my anger and got my complaint about Bahia. I asked, in this situation of no formal search, who is involved who actually knows anything about Visual Art? (I know the answer: nobody. My Visual Art colleagues, who vocally want me to continue, but are not actually being consulted and have been sidelined too). John said, uh, how do you mean, maybe someone in a related field? I stuck the knife in at that point: No, someone in, LET'S SAY GRAPHIC DESIGN, is not remotely expert enough on Visual Art to do more than propose candidates, which everyone has the right to do. But sidelining me, to the extent I can't effectively do my job, while running an informal campaign for her buddy who she doesn't even know is an embarrassment to the art scene, doesn't fly. (i didn't say the second sentence out loud).
I dunno. I think the (very long) meeting went well, we discussed a lot of things, so I am either doing ok, or I am so far behind I think I'm in front. If it's the latter, I don't want to be part of an institution that has such endemic mistrust for the visual art expertise at its fingertips, and favours easy political answers instead.
I'm happy with the meeting though. I had lost so much sleep, had visited the campus clinic and not been able to eat properly for a couple of weeks without throwing up or feeling bleurgh; it's so poisonous, this crap. But John got my point and could see that my main issue was in the irony of not being facilitated in doing my job while this search happens, because I'm being ignored. So I came off VERY honourable, even though underneath I'm a seething mass of hate.
Anyway I have 1/2 hour to get dolled up for an experimental music concert Downtown so I'll bugger off drink moar, and make my ugly as hell stress face look slightly pretty.
I, as director of the VIsual Art major, am part of a wider programme that includes the Film and Graphic Design majors, and this programme is called Visual Cultures. In theory it's supposed to provide a grounding for students in recognition that we live in an intensely visual world and none of our disciplines happens in a vacuum. This information will be relevant in a minute.
Now. There is no actual call for my job, whose contract ends this summer. Therefore, no prescribed recruitment procedure, and no clue if I'll even be interviewed. That's because the university has a recruitment freeze and so are opening no new tenure track positions - it's bad enough that a director of major position is a one-year contract. How can you get anything done in those conditions? There've been 3 directors of Visual Art major in 4 years and no wonder the major is losing steam. Thankfully, they have me, who's willing to hop on an annual contract renewal. Unfortunately, they don't know that that's a great thing.
Meanwhile, the head of Graphic Design, Bahia, is qSheuietly conducting her own little campaign for a different person to be head of major. This I object to MASSIVELY. Firstly, everyone has the right to propose people for an open job - I understand it is not 'mine'. I also understand that people might have different visions. SO, in those conditions - yes, Bahia has every right to field a candidate. I'd do the same if a position in Graphic Design were open, and I knew a good candidate.
The difference here, though, is:
1) Bahia's a total fucking evil power hungry bitch
2) Who I have never had a single sit down conversation with, despite numerous invitations to have joint meetings, as is entirely appropriate and necessary as we are peers within the same Visual Cultures programme. So if she has not faith in my major, I am struggling to know on what basis she's made that assessment.
3) She knows fuck all about Visual Art in Egypt. I mean nothing. Nothing in Egypt, nothing at all. Less than I know about graphic design in Egypt. And I would hesitate to propose HER replacement.
4) She's not just suggesting a candidate. She's managed to finagle TWO interviews between her candidate and the Dean, without the Chair of the Arts knowing (ie, jumping over the Chair's head to push her buddy to the fore)
5) Her candidate is THE WORST FUCKING IDEA I COULD EVER IMAGINE and I'm not just saying that because my job's at stake. Everyone who's heard about it has basically blanched at the idea that this asshole could be running the AUC Visual Art major. He's one of these intellectually redundant sellouts that gets minor respect from misguided foreign curators looking for an easy 'Egypt' work, and favoured by the state apparatus, but who is otherwise a total joke and embarassment to the art scene in Egypt, yet is some sort of heavyweight. AND he's a total asshole. But, he's extremely powerful. And it KILLS me that this fucked up recruitment procedure involves only the informal, politically motivated power plays of people who know NOTHING about art in Egypt but who want their buddies in good positions. This guy would take the major in such shoddy directions. And she doesn't even know that she doesn't know. She's so ignorant she doesn't even know what my experience means. She thinks THIS guy is the shizz. To anyone who new about art, that would tell you enough. Unfortunately, due to this fucked up procedure, no-one who actually knows about art is remotely involved in the selection.
6) She's bad-mouthing the department. I met with some visiting curators lately, who were really great, and eventually they were like ... 'yeah, we met your colleague. She said there were disagreements in the department about the arts...' and they didn't say more because they were clearly embarrassed. And they should be, because that's totally fucking unprofessional. I had THAT VERY WEEK called a meeting to discuss the direction of Visual Cultures and hit those kinds of issues head on, and it got completely squashed. I don't mind people discussing disputes when there's an open and transparent discussion happening above board in the department, but that's not happening despite my efforts. You don't go about bitching to others about 'problems' (there are no problems except YOUR lack of cooperation) without actually raising those with your colleagues in the first place.
So that last episode was the final straw out of many episodes not described here of her sidelining me and I had a massive discussion with the Chair of Arts, John. Who I have mixed feelings about.
CON-
Patronises me; patriarchal
Knows even less than Bahia about Visual Art (he's Music); I'd say he's verging on the antagonistic
Gives me whiskery cheek-kisses or hand-on-arm moments WAY too often, which I would not tolerate if I weren't dependent on him for my job
Doesn't recognise the rampant bullshit going on under his very nose.
PRO-
Genuinely nice and supportive guy who seems to like me
Take his role as Chair very seriously
Can set aside his ignorance about art and tries to trust his colleagues' experience, ie act professionally
Thankfully, John saw my anger and got my complaint about Bahia. I asked, in this situation of no formal search, who is involved who actually knows anything about Visual Art? (I know the answer: nobody. My Visual Art colleagues, who vocally want me to continue, but are not actually being consulted and have been sidelined too). John said, uh, how do you mean, maybe someone in a related field? I stuck the knife in at that point: No, someone in, LET'S SAY GRAPHIC DESIGN, is not remotely expert enough on Visual Art to do more than propose candidates, which everyone has the right to do. But sidelining me, to the extent I can't effectively do my job, while running an informal campaign for her buddy who she doesn't even know is an embarrassment to the art scene, doesn't fly. (i didn't say the second sentence out loud).
I dunno. I think the (very long) meeting went well, we discussed a lot of things, so I am either doing ok, or I am so far behind I think I'm in front. If it's the latter, I don't want to be part of an institution that has such endemic mistrust for the visual art expertise at its fingertips, and favours easy political answers instead.
I'm happy with the meeting though. I had lost so much sleep, had visited the campus clinic and not been able to eat properly for a couple of weeks without throwing up or feeling bleurgh; it's so poisonous, this crap. But John got my point and could see that my main issue was in the irony of not being facilitated in doing my job while this search happens, because I'm being ignored. So I came off VERY honourable, even though underneath I'm a seething mass of hate.
Anyway I have 1/2 hour to get dolled up for an experimental music concert Downtown so I'll bugger off drink moar, and make my ugly as hell stress face look slightly pretty.