On Jobs, Life and Cooking
Well its now been 8 days since I have been unemployed, the first couple of days I was in a bit of shock about the whole thing, but given the fact that I absolutley couldn't stand what I was doing I'm currently in two frames of mind about how things are.
1.) Happier, in some ways, relaxed that I didn't have to go do something that I disliked in an environment that to my mind was nuts, totally reactive mill turning where you weren't really, well I wasn't, kept abreast of what was happening.
2.) Stressed and tired. I'm not sleeping all that well at the moment as well, I have never really not had a job - generally I've always had 2 or 3. Its a bit odd for me. I've always stood on my own two feet on the job (and life) front and worked. Paid my, and often other peoples way, and I am painfully aware that if I don't get something, anything, sorted within the next few weeks then I am going to, partly due to my previous placements inability to deal with (OK I'll call myself - unruley) staff & give proper training, my (much to my annoyance) laxness in noticing something (and not being able to get my head around how they seemed to want me/temps in general to work) be reliant on the pitiful amount that I will get from job seekers allowance and have to be a burden on someone else's finances.
The real main problem that I can see with this, if, and this is an if, I get the full amount of JSA this will only just cover what I currently have going out in previous debts. I'm really quite worried about this.
Mostly thought its the 2nd point I feel particularly terrible about, having to burden someone else due to my inability to have a job, I feel pretty wretched about not having a job, yet attending a fair few interviews.
Part of the problem is that I really am lacking any real enthusiam about what I want to do. One of the interview feedbacks was that they weren't sure that I was committed to a career in HR as I said that I wasn't sure what area of HR I wanted to go into. Which I thought was a fair comment, apparently not.
I've never really known what I want to do in life, I've got a few ideas but nothing perm and I've always prefered to have a go at differnt things to try and narrow this down.
I am also aware that I would be a lot better if I did have something that I could aim for as I am getting frustrated at myself at the moment as I kind of see it that I don't want to totally focus training on something to find that you can't get a job in that area. This is really daft I know but untill I can get my head out of that track then I don't think that I am going to get very far fast.
From my job at BNS I did enjoy organisnig things, but I mostly enjoyed supporting the graduates with thier problems either in terms of day to day within the company or otherwise. I quite like training as its about development and expolration.
I've thought about going down the careers advising/counselling route and think that I might have to ask around a bit more at the job centre or where you go and ask about such things. I've looked into volutneering say at the samaritans as I thought that it might be good exposure and training for a taste of that sort of thing. Only problem that I forsee with that the moment is I'm not sure if I am emotianally upto it, I'm at a bit of a low at the moment and that generally involves me trying to hide from the world. I' know that I am not really much fun to be around when I am like this.
But away from HR I like a potentially long term idea of opening a cafe somewhere that sells fuds, contenental beer and possibly has a couple of rooms to hire. Far fetched dream potentially but I like the idea of running my own business, catering and hotels is something that I know. I don't think that I will ever get used to office politics myself.
Upsides on the not having a job is that the flat is very clean and I am enjoying getting around to doing some cooking, also self managing myself - I've set my job hunt up like I would be if I were working. So its good to know that I can organise and plan my own time & workload. After the last job I was starting to think that I was completly useless and incapable.
Anyways thats probably enough self indulgance and I ought to get back to checking every online job recruiter under the sun to see what might be out there... At least there are some potental jobs that I can apply for, I appreciate that there are some people out there that aren't even that lucky.
Back to it, possibly after a biscuit and a cup of tea thou..... tally ho!
1.) Happier, in some ways, relaxed that I didn't have to go do something that I disliked in an environment that to my mind was nuts, totally reactive mill turning where you weren't really, well I wasn't, kept abreast of what was happening.
2.) Stressed and tired. I'm not sleeping all that well at the moment as well, I have never really not had a job - generally I've always had 2 or 3. Its a bit odd for me. I've always stood on my own two feet on the job (and life) front and worked. Paid my, and often other peoples way, and I am painfully aware that if I don't get something, anything, sorted within the next few weeks then I am going to, partly due to my previous placements inability to deal with (OK I'll call myself - unruley) staff & give proper training, my (much to my annoyance) laxness in noticing something (and not being able to get my head around how they seemed to want me/temps in general to work) be reliant on the pitiful amount that I will get from job seekers allowance and have to be a burden on someone else's finances.
The real main problem that I can see with this, if, and this is an if, I get the full amount of JSA this will only just cover what I currently have going out in previous debts. I'm really quite worried about this.
Mostly thought its the 2nd point I feel particularly terrible about, having to burden someone else due to my inability to have a job, I feel pretty wretched about not having a job, yet attending a fair few interviews.
Part of the problem is that I really am lacking any real enthusiam about what I want to do. One of the interview feedbacks was that they weren't sure that I was committed to a career in HR as I said that I wasn't sure what area of HR I wanted to go into. Which I thought was a fair comment, apparently not.
I've never really known what I want to do in life, I've got a few ideas but nothing perm and I've always prefered to have a go at differnt things to try and narrow this down.
I am also aware that I would be a lot better if I did have something that I could aim for as I am getting frustrated at myself at the moment as I kind of see it that I don't want to totally focus training on something to find that you can't get a job in that area. This is really daft I know but untill I can get my head out of that track then I don't think that I am going to get very far fast.
From my job at BNS I did enjoy organisnig things, but I mostly enjoyed supporting the graduates with thier problems either in terms of day to day within the company or otherwise. I quite like training as its about development and expolration.
I've thought about going down the careers advising/counselling route and think that I might have to ask around a bit more at the job centre or where you go and ask about such things. I've looked into volutneering say at the samaritans as I thought that it might be good exposure and training for a taste of that sort of thing. Only problem that I forsee with that the moment is I'm not sure if I am emotianally upto it, I'm at a bit of a low at the moment and that generally involves me trying to hide from the world. I' know that I am not really much fun to be around when I am like this.
But away from HR I like a potentially long term idea of opening a cafe somewhere that sells fuds, contenental beer and possibly has a couple of rooms to hire. Far fetched dream potentially but I like the idea of running my own business, catering and hotels is something that I know. I don't think that I will ever get used to office politics myself.
Upsides on the not having a job is that the flat is very clean and I am enjoying getting around to doing some cooking, also self managing myself - I've set my job hunt up like I would be if I were working. So its good to know that I can organise and plan my own time & workload. After the last job I was starting to think that I was completly useless and incapable.
Anyways thats probably enough self indulgance and I ought to get back to checking every online job recruiter under the sun to see what might be out there... At least there are some potental jobs that I can apply for, I appreciate that there are some people out there that aren't even that lucky.
Back to it, possibly after a biscuit and a cup of tea thou..... tally ho!